Dr. Aziz guides viewers to improve their friendships by first clarifying what they truly want, recognizing that friendships can change, and being willing to "upgrade" or reduce availability with relationships that no longer fit. He offers practical mindset shifts (questioning loyalty-based guilt, listing desired qualities) and uses a client anecdote to illustrate easing out of a poor fit; the video ends by teasing Part 2, which will cover concrete steps to find and build the friendships you want.
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Do you have the friendships that you want in your life right now? Do you have amazing people in your life that you see regularly that make your life better, that you love being around? And if so, let's be grateful for that because that's an incredible experience. And if not, if there's something that's off here, maybe you feel lonely, maybe you don't have the friends that you want, or maybe you have friends but it just doesn't quite feel that great and for some reason it's not the best fit for you right now. Or maybe you have some good friends but they're like scattered across the country or the world and you barely see them. If for any reason you're not totally 100% satisfied with your friendship and your social life, watch this episode. So we're going to share how to create better friendships now. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, number one best selling author and the founder of the center for Social Confidence. And this is the show for you. If you want to massively increase your confidence in every area that matters in your social life, your business life, your dating life, your relationship, we're going to talk about your social life right now. And by the way, if you love these videos, subscribe below because that's going to be a way to stay in touch and see all the new ones that come out as they come out. Let's talk about friendships. So this is an area that a lot of people really struggle with where they you don't have the connection that you really want either. You don't have the friends you want. You don't, you have like maybe one friend and if they're busy, then you don't have anyone to hang out with. Or you have people. This is a really common one. You have people that you interact with. You even have acquaintances and maybe some friends, but they're just not that satisfying, they're not that deep. Especially people that I find that watch my videos and come into my world because on some level you're really interested in real connection. You're really interested in having authentic relationships. And you know, sometimes you have some friends where you guys can just talk about some sports or whatever, but you're not actually really knowing each other on a deep level. And that can be frustrating too. And so here's a couple tips that you can use to start building better friendships. Now. First, get clear on what kind of what do you really want right now? It's like there's a couple stories we need to clear one is that every friend we have, we should have that friend for life, right? Do you know what I'm talking about? There, there's this sense of like, you should never let go of a friend. It's bad, it's wrong. How could you? You should be loyal to your friends. And while, you know, being loyal to people is a good quality, it can also be very unhealthy. Like, you know, if you think I should be loyal to my girlfriend, but it's not a good fit anymore, and you've known that for a long time, then you're not doing anyone favors her or you. By being loyal, you're just being scared to take the action you need to take. So, same thing with friendships. You gotta really check in and be like, is this the best fit for me? Because guess what? People grow and evolve and life circumstances change. And if there's something that's changed and it's not the right energy there, you don't really feel it. You don't have to keep seeing that person. I remember one client I talked with, like he had this friend from high school and he was in his 30s at this point, but they'd known each other since high school. And he would go and have lunch with this guy like every two weeks. And he didn't really like it. He didn't like hanging out. He was bored. He thought the guy didn't listen to him at all or ask him any questions about his life, but he just kept on doing it. And he's like, dude, I can't get rid of a friend. I mean, I know this guy for, you know, 15 years. Well, I mean, you don't have to like get rid of him. You don't have to say, listen, we're done F you, buddy. I guess you could officially break up, but you could also just become a hell of a lot less available. See him once every six months. And he had a lot of fear and discomfort and guilt around that, which we helped him work through. But you got to get clear on what it is that you want. You got to be willing to upgrade, upgrade your friends. Who do you want to surround yourself with? For me, I want to surround myself with people who are turned on in life, who are energized, who are excited, who are passionate, who are very open minded like I am. And when I'm around someone and they're kind of like, they're close minded, they're not that interested in learning, they're kind of like, oh, I don't want to hear about what you're learning, and I don't believe in that. Anything about personal growth or whatever. I mean, I'm probably not gonna be that great of friends with them because I only have a few friend slots right now. I got two little kids, a business. Like, my life is very full, and my wife. I want to give a lot of attention to those things. So of course I need friends. But the slots are in high demand, and I got to make sure that those people are just really resonate. So you got to find what those are for you. What are the qualities. Good friends got to make me laugh, man, because I want to have. Have fun. I want to laugh a lot when I'm hanging out with someone because I like humor. I want them to like humor, and I want to be able to, like, go to whatever level. Like, we can be up here kind of bantering and shooting the shit and just having kind of crass, funny humor, and then we can drop down to, like, what's really going on in life and talk about our relationships and our feelings and other things like that. That's a requirement for me, just for who I am. So what are your requirements? What do you really want? And are you getting those met in your friendships? And if not, how can you upgrade? How can you shift? There's another tip that I'm going to share, but we're going to break that into the second part of this video, which is going to be all about how to actually put that into practice, how to take the steps to make the shift. So the first step in the process is to get clear on exactly what you want. So do that now or after this video. Really think about it, maybe even write it down. And. And when we write this shit down, it's powerful because it starts to communicate something to our subconscious mind. So write it down, and then join me in the second part of this episode about exactly what steps to take to find those people to create those friendships. So until we speak, then, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. And leave a comment below about what you learned, what you're seeing, any fears or challenges you have about really getting clear on the kind of friend that you want to create and the kind of friends that you want to attract. All right, talk soon.
