Body Language Basics that Show High Confidence

Do you want to know how to quickly telegraph confidence in any situation long before you even open your mouth? It comes to your body language and you've probably heard about this, you maybe even watch videos about it, maybe you read a blog about it. You know, confident body language. Well, I want to distill it down to just three simple things. The basics, the fundamentals that you can apply instantly today that are going to make the biggest change, right? Like the 8020 principle, 20% of things you can do that produces 80% of the result. I'm going to share the those three things with you. And if you do these things, it will have a radical effect not only on how people see you, but on your own sense of confidence. It can make an instant shift for you. And I'm going to share one powerful simple trick at the end to bring it all together and make these things much more appliable. Because you don't want to learn some tools and be like that sounds great and then never do it, right? You want to watch this video and then go do the things, get the result, start to build your confidence. And if you're benefiting from this, you want to keep building your confidence, click the subscribe down below and give it a, like, maybe give it a comment as well. And that will help me reach more people, that will help me keep this channel going strong and help you stay more engaged for your own confidence as well. So what are the three basics of body language? Now I'm going to share these. If you're like, no, I already know this. There's knowing it in your head and there's actually being able to do it consistently. And if you're not doing it consistently, then you don't know it. You have a concept and you can spit it out like on a test like when you were a kid in school. But that's not real knowledge, that's not real power in life. So listen to these from a place of how much can I do this? And if you can't, then focus on some of the tools I'm going to share in this video on how to actually do these things. And then the tool at the end that I'm going to share. So the first one is the biggest one in terms of the body language pie. 90% I'd say is this one. It's one. But what is it? I'm doing it with you right now, even through the video, I'm looking right in. Probably if you're watching the screen, your eyes, right? So being able to hold eye contact it sounds so simple, but there are a hundred ways in which you might shy away from it. Right? And so being able to, when someone is talking to you, rest on their eyes versus just notice the body language. So look at right now, look, I'm obviously using the camera lens as your eyes, but imagine you're talking to me and I'm listening to you like this or as I'm talking, I'm talking to you while looking you in the eyes. Now contrast that with this. So go ahead and take a moment, make sure you're watching the screen to see my body language. Now I'm going to talk to you and I'm going to do this with my eyes. Can you notice, can you feel that shift in my energy? Right. What does it look like? Well, it looks less confident. I look more unsure of myself just from the eye contact. So the ability to sustain eye contact is absolutely essential. And you might say, yeah, but I don't know how. It's a muscle. That's plain and simple. That's like saying, I don't know how to run, I don't know how to lift weights, I don't know how to. If you practice it, you will get stronger at it. A couple key tips. Look for opportunities to just hold eye contact. Someone is sharing. Look them in the eye. Another tip is you can soften your gaze. So if you're worried about the like, am I going to be too intense with them? Just look at their eyes. But also let your awareness expand to include the area around them. Like I think of this as foreground and background. It's actually kind of a beautiful way to look at life and people too is you're looking at this person in front of you, but you're also aware of the setting that you're in. So you see the trees behind them or the city streets or the whatever's around you when you're interacting. The coffee shop and you're there, but you're also aware of everything around you and that can kind of soften that feeling of intensity. Another tip is to breathe and to soften a lot of people that have a hard time with eye contact. It's a lot of noise up in here. Am I doing it right? Am I doing it too long? Am I doing it too short? I better look away. It's been six seconds. Look away. All that's just going to mess you up. No, just let your gaze rest on the person. Soften it to include more of your periphery. Soften your belly, soften your body. If you want to Bring your focus somewhere more, bring it to your body and softening it with your next breath rather than what you should be doing your eyes. Well, that process will naturally handle itself when you stop trying to tinker with it like a mad freaked out scientist. Those are the tips for eye contact. And just look for opportunities. Practice on purpose holding it when you want to look away. You know, make eye contact. I talk about friendly greetings, it's a whole other topic. But walking on the street, saying hi to people, make eye contact with strangers. As you walk down the street, you might say, oh my God, that's so weird and terrible. If you're unwilling to do these things, you will not build confidence. It's not going to come by a decree upon a high. It's not going to become luck. You're not just going to wake up one day feeling more confident. You must sculpt it, you must build it. So when I wanted to build my confidence when I was younger, I drive to a city 20 minutes, 30 minutes away, walk down a busy street and say hi to a bunch of people. And I'd be nervous as hell on the way there. And when I started doing it, why? Because I was fricking hungry and I wanted to make these changes. So if you're having some resistance to it, you got to find that part of you that's willing to do whatever it takes. So that's eye contact. Huge. Most important one, the second key is really simple, but it telegraphs so much, which is upright posture. What does that mean? That means head is centered above your body versus hunch forward. You almost imagine there's a string pulling up through the crown of your head, which is where if you have a bald spot forming like I do, then that's where it would be, right? It's coming out like a string pulling you up through the crown and up, elevating your spine. You could roll your shoulders back and then let them go relaxed. Your chest is coming out just a little bit. Do it with me now if you can. If you're not driving or something like that, just sitting, standing upright. Notice instant change in your posture. And the biggest problem with this is not that you can't do it. It's again, it's a fear. I remember I did this with a client one time. We were walking down the street. I was out in the world with him and I, and he was so hunched over and I was like, okay, let's roll those shoulders back. And he walked like maybe 10 steps and then kind of collapsed back in and I said, what just happened there? And he's like, I don't know. It just feels like someone's gonna come out and say, like, this isn't you. I was like, ah. Is someone really gonna do that? Or are you doing that to yourself? So notice those internal pressures to stay consistent and be this small version of you. It's like, yes, I'm gonna get bigger. Yes, I'm gonna take up more space. Yes, I'm gonna be in the world taller. And so two things that I suggest for this is one, walk with fucking dignity, like you belong here, like you own the room, like you're a king or a queen. Walk with dignity. And the second thing is eyes on the horizon. Not eyes down. Not shoulders down, shoulders back, eyes on the horizon. Walk like a king, walk like a queen. Those are some shorthands to help you remember that when you walk into a room of new people, roll the shoulders back, Move with dignity, Eyes on the horizon. Okay, that's the second one. So we got eye contact. We got an upright posture. The third way to telegraph confidence with your body language is a posture of warmth and openness. Posture of warmth and openness. So that means that you are basically exposing your body to the other person. Some primal stuff going on here, right? So when we're afraid, when we're on guard, where basically you think about it like you're armoring your soft underbelly. I'm going to armor my. My heart. I'm going to close, cross my arms. I'm going to armor my body. I'm going to turn it away from you. I'm going to give you my back, if possible, hit my carapace where I'm safe. Right? Exposing the chest, the throat, the belly. And so when we're on guard or you'll notice it, just observe your body language. They call it closed versus open body posture. Right? You're closed and. And you're telegraphing. I don't trust you. And I'm vulnerable to your attack. And I'm submissive to you. Warm and open. Here I am. Right? So when you're talking to the person, you notice. You want to go like, yeah, and close up. Just consciously keep your body open. Consciously look at them in the eye. Breathe and soften. That one's real simple. Just opening your body. Just think of closed versus open. Is there anything that's covering my. My central channel, my. My soft underbelly? Let it. Let it be open. And you might notice this feels very uncomfortable. That's okay. These are all things to practice, which is my last point here. Eye contact, standing upright, the, the open body posture. These are all things to practice. And the more you practice them, the more you're going to get immediate results. Now one thing that you can do that's going to prime you for all three of these right before social interactions, before you go out, before you go to work, whatever it is, is a quick 10 second, like intensity building, energy building, exercise. And what that looks like is you shake your body out a little bit and you get your voice into it, you get your body into it. And I'm not going to go crazy because I'll blow up the mic, but you might say something like, yes, yes, yes, yes. That was even like five seconds, right? I'm pumping my fist. I might, I would probably hit my chest a little bit. I got the mic there. Also doesn't work for the ladies so well. So, you know, find your move. But it's, it's, think of it like a power move. That's what Tony Robbins called he calls your power move, right? And you're, you're consciously drawing upon power. And trust me, don't just watch me do it. Try it for 5 seconds, try it for 10 seconds. The key though is you really got to do it. If you're like, yeah, that was stupid. Well, great, you, you can do a righty pants dance. That was stupid. And you're right. But, but are you free? So if you want to get free, you do this intense motion for just five seconds, like, yes. And then all of a sudden you're going to, you're going to stand up taller, you're going to move like you own the room, like a king or a queen. You're going to look people in the eye. Why? Because you've come back into yourself. Awesome. So share down below in the comments what you're finding most valuable. If this appeals to you, you want to go further. We have a whole lesson on body language that's way more extensive than what I just did here with you. And that's just one lesson among probably 45 lessons inside of Social Mastery, One of the courses inside of Confidence University, that's how to talk to anybody, how to upgrade your mindset, why you think you're not interesting in the first place, how to approach people, how to know to start conversations, how to know what to say next, all the tools and strategies you need, step by step with action, steps to really master your social confidence and more. And that's just one of the courses inside of Confidence University. When you get that whole university you get lifetime access to all the other courses on dating and career and everything else. So if this appeals to you, you want to take it further, definitely go there. You can click down in the description link below. You can also go to my website, draze.com-r a z I z.com and click on the products and then click on Confidence University. All right, thanks for being with me today. I'm really curious how this is landing for you. Please share down in the comments below until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.