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Dr. Aziz explains why saying no makes you more attractive. A client who stopped being overly available and set standards noticed avoidant people suddenly started approaching her, even though she felt guilty at first.
Dr. Aziz explains why saying no makes you more attractive. A client who stopped being overly available and set standards noticed avoidant people suddenly started approaching her, even though she felt guilty at first.
Are you afraid that saying no will push people away? Well, actually, saying no, having boundaries makes you more attractive. And this is one of those things where you won't really believe it until you see. Until you experience it in your own life. But I can tell you story after story from my own life and clients. In fact, just earlier today, I heard from a client who would always be seeking approval, bending over backwards, being extremely available in her dating life, and it never quite worked right. And so recently, she started having boundaries, or in her language, she started having standards. These are the kind of people I want to spend time with. These are the people I want to date. We came up with a list in our work together. And so she started saying no to people that didn't fit that criteria. At first, she felt so guilty and bad and wrong. And I said, wait a minute. Wouldn't you want to honor what you want? Just like you would if you had a child or someone that you loved? You'd really care about what they wanted? So she started to live that. And you would be amazed at how all of a sudden, it's like something flipped and the people that used to avoid her started to approach her. This changes everything.
