Dr. Aziz explains social anxiety as a learned belief that you're not enough, rooted in fear of rejection. He says it can be overcome by changing that internal story, taking repeated bold action until fear loses its grip, and learning to regulate your nervous system.
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Can social anxiety be cured? No. And that's the end of this video. I'm kidding. You know I'm kidding, right? Well, that is what it seems like, at least. It certainly seemed like way for me. When I lived in a lot of social anxiety. I didn't even think about curing it. I didn't even think that I had social anxiety and even know the term. I just thought there's something wrong with me, I'm awkward, people don't like me, I'm not good enough, I'm inferior to him, no one's going to date me. Like, my reality was just perceived through the lens of social anxiety. And the essence of social anxiety is distill down to a sentence the belief that there's something wrong with me that makes me not enough and therefore not desirable for friendship, for relationship, for connection. I'm unworthy of it. And so that's scary, right? If that's true, which is not. But if that's true, it's scary because then you imagine people are going to reject you. You imagine they're. Even if you have one good conversation the next time, sooner or later they're going to suss it out. They're going to be like, well, you seemed fun the first time we talked, but I'm suspicious. I think you're really inadequate underneath there. And then you're like, oh God, I got to perform on this next conversation, right? So endless anxiety ensues from that core perception. Now the good news is, if it's all coming from a core perception of yourself, that's not true. Can it be cured? Well, the answer is yes. Yes, it can. Yay. Hooray. And a lot of people, it might not seem like this because it's like, well, I tried things. And a lot of what people try is like, well, I tried to just be more confident. I tried to just fake it till I make it. I tried to just do more and put myself out there. And, you know, you're kind of. At least you're. You're trying things, right? You're kind of going in the right direction now. But what's needed is more of a specific level of guidance and a system. And of course, that's what I specialize in, is helping people come. Not just like a little less socially anxious, but like complete liberation. In fact, the game that I have been playing in my life and I invite you to play is to not just go from like social anxiety to normal. Because there's a lot of people that are like, oh, I don't have Social anxiety. And they still do. They just don't think of it as that way because it's not totally impairing their life. But they're still nervous to speak in front of a big group of people and so they just avoid it. They don't give the toast at the wedding. They don't feel like, oh, I'm crippled by social anxiety. But they're just, you know, they, they don't boldly take leadership in their work. You know, they kind of do their job okay, they have a partner but they never really like dated whoever they wanted and felt like a sense of I am, of course I'm attractive and I have, I can, you know, I'm the selector in relationships. I kind of just like, oh, this person liked me, that's good enough. You know, that's normal. That maybe they have some addictions they're dealing with, whether it's tech addictions or porn or alcohol. And they're just kind of like, eh, I'm just normal. I'm like, well we don't go from social anxiety to normal. At least I didn't want to. It's like, let's go from social anxiety to normal and not stop at that station. Let's keep going to freaking extraordinary and extraordinary. The beauty of that is that pathway is the same to get from social anxiety to normal, normal to extraordinary. It's the same thing. You just keep doing more of it. And what is that? Well, I have a mini course on it. If you have not watched it, you should check it out. It's called Five Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence and that's free. And that guides you step by step. You can click down below in the description to get access to that. I also have a much more in depth system called Confidence University that has courses that guide you step by step by step on it. But here is the 30,000 foot view. And if you want to check out Confidence university, go to theconfidenceuniversity.com and it's life changing course. But the 30,000 foot view is this. You must take control of that self perception. It seems like it's running on autopilot and it is, but it's just a habit. Like the habit, the thousand of habits you have that are running on autopilot. It's the way you talk to yourself, the way you perceive yourself. Like you tend to perceive yourself as less than and not good enough and then you reinforce that with negative self criticism. I call this your toxic inner coach. You got to get control of that process and change it. No matter if you do not change that process, it doesn't matter what actions you take in the world, Nothing will change out there. As you're taking control of that process, you need to learn how to take bold action, how to do what scares you until fear has no power to stop you. This sounds easy. When you watch it in a video, it calls something inside of you. It requires something inside of you to step up in that way. And usually what makes us step up in that way, frankly, is enough pain. You get enough pain, you get enough frustration, you get enough, like, enough of this, then you're gonna start doing something. And that's when everything changes. And whenever I work with any client, you know, in my group programs, a mastermind program, I do not accept someone into the program if I don't feel that energy in them. And I do an interview with each person to make sure they're at that place. Because if they're like, yeah, I want it to change. And, you know, I don't know, things are okay and they're not like, dude, this has got to change now. They don't have to say, dude, but that in that place, like, this has got to change now. Now we're talking, right? Okay, great. Now we're speaking my language. Because now I know that you have what it takes to make that change. So take control of that inner critic, that toxic coach. Take bold action and learn how to calm and soothe yourself before, during, and after action that makes you uncomfortable, right? Because if you're taking a bunch of bold action, you're all freaked out inside, it's gonna be less likely to take it again. So do you have tools and strategies and skills to be able to, like, okay, I'm anxious right now. How do I work with that? How do I calm anxiety inside of confidence University? I have tons of tools on how to work with anxiety, overcome anxiety, relieve anxiety. Because you gotta be able to do that to stay in consistent action. If you do those things, if you take control of that toxic voice and fire your inner toxic coach, replace it with a healthy self. Optimal coaching. Optimal self coaching. You take bold action until fear has no power to stop you. And you learn how to regulate your nervous system as you. As you take bold action, you will absolutely not only relieve social anxiety, you will cure social anxiety, become normal. And then don't stop there, my friend. Let's go into extraordinary where you can have an extraordinary level of confidence, of success, of freedom, of relationships, of purpose, of meaning, of income, of impact, of a life that is, well, really, ultimately what you're here to do. So share down below in the comments what you're finding most useful. Until we speak again. We have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
