Dr. Aziz explains how comparing yourself to others kills confidence by making you feel inferior and risk-averse. He names the "safety police," an inner part that keeps you stuck by minimizing risk. Instead of chasing extreme benchmarks, take small steps aligned with your values.
Comparing yourself to others is going to kill your confidence. And you're discover in this video exactly why you keep doing it, why it's so hard to stop, and what you can do instead. And by the end of this, you're going to feel way more free to be you, way more comfortable in your own skin, and ultimately enjoying and liking who you really are. You actually can enjoy your experience of connecting with others, taking action, sharing in the world. Because that's the biggest thing that comparison does. It kills that enjoyment of who you are. Right. So let's break this down. When do we compare ourselves? Well, you could do in any situation, you could socially, you could do it at work, you could do it in appearance. There's a million different ways. What we do is we look at somebody else, whether we actually know them in real life or on a screen. And on social media, we look at other person and we say, oh man. Right. There's this deflating, discouraging, often depressing result of that comparison. And after you compare, how do you feel about yourself? Do you feel energized to go out there and try something, do something, approach somebody? Probably not. You feel discouraged and deflated. So what do you want to do? Probably nothing. Probably going to go consume some more media or, or distract yourself. Right. We're not energized. We're not taking our lives on. And what if I were to tell you that there's actually a sneaky plan at work there that's causing you to keep comparing yourself, finding yourself lacking, and then not taking action? It's a cycle and there's actually a part of you that wants to keep that cycle going. Now, I know that might sound crazy. Cause it feels bad. And why would I want to do that? Because when we feel like I can't and I'm not enough, we don't take the action and therefore we get to avoid the, the risk. So let's break this down. Let's say you see someone and they walk into the room and they're very socially confident and you say, oh man, look at him. It's so socially confident. Oh, I can't do it. So now what you're doing is you're saying, I can't do what that other person did. I'm less than, I'm not enough, I'm inferior. So are you going to go try to take that action yourself? Whether it's walking into a room, confidently approaching someone you're attracted to, putting yourself out there in social media, sharing something at work, any of those places, you Compare yourself. You tell yourself, I'm a nobody nothing. I can't do that. Are you likely to go do it right? The answer is obvious. No. No, you're not. Because I'm a nothing nobody. And part of us wants to keep it that way. Because to walk into the room owning yourself, to go right over to that person and say hi to them, to put yourself on your ideas out there at work is a risk. It's uncertainty. Someone might not like it. Someone might disagree with you when you share your idea at work. Someone might reject you if you go put yourself out there socially. Right? And there's a part of us that wants to minimize and shut down all risk. I call this part your safety police. And if you haven't checked out my book, the Art of Extraordinary Confidence, I go in depth into that. I highly recommend that book for you to check that out. You can get it on on Amazon or audible. But essentially, the safety police wants to minimize all risk in our life because it wants us to be safe. And so we love comparison. On one level, I know it sounds crazy. We're doing it all the time. Oh, look at him, look at her. It becomes a bad habit. And it keeps you in this state of, I'm less than I'm incapable. And the crazy thing is, is we compare ourselves to these extreme situations often as if we have to be that in order to succeed. So, you know, you were like, I want to share some videos on YouTube or I want to write this book, or I want to create this thing. Look at that person. They have a billion views. I guess I suck. I shouldn't do anything, right? That person's a best seller. I guess I'll never be that. That person's mega famous. As if you have to be mega famous or have a billion views to add value in the world. As if you have to be the most. Look at that model on tv. They're so pretty. Like, as if you have to look like that to have love in your life. Do you see how crazy the comparison is? It's an illusion that keeps you from engaging in your life. You can have the love that you want, the creativ that you want, the success that you want as you look as you are. The key is to break out of that story that you're not enough and just start taking action. That feeling of worthiness or not worthiness is absolutely irrelevant. And when you really get that, then you can allow the comparison to occur. Yeah, that person does have a billion views. Yeah, that person is super socially charming. Okay. What am I going to go do that's irrelevant to me? I get to go take action. I get to go take that next step in whatever growth I want to make and it's irrelevant. And I don't need to be at the top of the food chain in order to have an extraordinary life. So share down below in the comments, what's your finding most valuable and until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
