Confidence Breakthrough - You're NOT Okay! | Dr. Aziz - Confidence Coach

Do you have a habit of being hard on yourself, of beating yourself up, of criticizing yourself or doubting yourself? Do you have a list of things that you do that you think you shouldn't do, that are not okay, that you get down on yourself for? If so, you got to watch this episode because you're going to learn how to uncover that list and how to free yourself of that toxic habit so your confidence can just naturally rise up to higher and higher levels. Welcome back to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, and in today's episode, we're going to be talking about how you can let go of this list of things that are not okay. And you're going to learn exactly how to do this. If you're enjoying these episodes of this show, then click subscribe below because we have tons more coming out. You're going to want to stay tuned. This is the best stuff. If you're wondering how I get material for this show, it's in sessions with clients, one on one sessions, group sessions, live weekends, mastermind calls. And in that in the trenches, I find out exactly what's working, what's not working, and then I share it as fast as I can get it. That's my purpose, that's my mission. That's why I'm here. So I'm excited to be with you today to share this thing I was realizing recently about this list of what's not okay. So each of us in our heads has a list of things that are not okay for us. And as I'm sharing this, I bet you're going to start thinking of what might be on your list. In fact, I would encourage you to start writing it down, if not during this episode, then take some time afterwards to just journal for five or ten minutes about it. Because there's a list of things that are not okay. And that might be for you. It might be. Well, let me just start with that. What's not okay for you? Is it not okay for you to be anxious? A lot of people have that one. Being anxious makes you weak. It's wrong. It's pathetic, Right? So being anxious is not okay. Being sad might not be okay for you. Maybe making a mistake is not okay. Maybe failing at something is not okay. Maybe having an awkward conversation or a moment where you didn't know what to say is not okay. Maybe not being the most charming person in that moment is not okay. What's not okay for you? For some people, just their appearance is not okay. Right? Something about their Face something about their body, their stomach, their legs, whatever the focus is on, right? Your arms. That's not okay. It's not okay. And you know what? The longer this list is, the shittier your life is, basically. And that's okay. There's good news, is that you can shed a lot of this stuff, you can let this go. But first we gotta be honest with ourselves and we gotta pull up what is on my list. What's my not okay list? What's not okay for me to feel. What's not okay for me to do or not do. What's not okay for me to look like. You wanna make that list. Now, a lot of people continue to beat themselves up. Cause they say, yeah, that's not okay. That's why it's not on my. That's why it's on my not okay list. And I'm just gonna beat the shit out of myself until I get better. Right now, even if we don't maybe consciously say that, that's kind of our unconscious pattern that we're running. We think it's gonna somehow make us better. But here's the thing. It doesn't. It never will. You can never beat yourself into being better or having more confidence or feeling happier in your life. That comes from accepting yourself, from loving yourself. I mean, just imagine if it were a romantic relationship and one person was like, yeah, you look just disgusting. You're absolutely just fat and gross. Ew. Is that gonna motivate that other person? I mean, maybe. Maybe they're gonna be, like, pissed off, like, fuck you. All right, fine. I'm gonna go work out, you bastard. Maybe. But even then, they. They're gonna work out and then they're gonna, like, leave you or something, right? I mean, it's not gonna be a sustainable relationship, and there's not a lot of love there. And in a lot of cases, it doesn't motivate people. It demoralizes them. It hurts them. And that's what we're doing to ourselves with our not okay list. So you gotta shed that old story that's gonna make you better. And the other thing, the other reason I see that people kinda. It's like, I don't wanna let myself off the hook, right? It's like, well, hey. And they always go with an extreme example. Like, listen, let's say someone is drinking a bunch and, you know, being an absent father, or they're drunk all the time around their kids and they're not doing stuff and they're yelling and stuff. That's bad. They should stop that. They shouldn't just make that okay. And I always love those kind of examples because it's like, yeah, okay, that's an extreme end. But what about all this other stuff, like making a mistake and feeling anxious? That's the stuff that we're working on. It's kind of like a red herring exercise, but we'll answer that one. So the truth is, with your list, once you make it, you want to go down each one and really check, is this humanly possible to not have? So if I should. If you're not okay, list includes, like, feeling anxiety sometimes or feeling scared or feeling sad. You want to ask yourself, is that humanly possible to never have that? The answer is no. It's a human emotion. You're going to have that for the rest of your life. You're going to times where you feel sad, times where you feel scared, and times where you feel happy and free and at peace. So if that's on your list, you're screwed. Now, if you come across something like drinking a fifth of vodka every night, maybe that's one you're like, is that humanly possible to change? Yes, it is. Okay, let me work on adjusting that one. But a lot of the ones on our list, we don't have any power to control. Now, maybe there's something around your body. If you feel like you're not as healthy as you want to be, and you work on that, of course you can. And the only way you're going to motivate yourself, though, is to get on your own side. It's the only way. You can't be like that example, that shitty relationship I was just showing, it's not going to work. And a lot of the things you just don't have any control over, your facial features, aspects of your body, you just don't have that much control over. You can't change certain things if you have hair or not. I mean, I guess you can go to, like, extreme lengths to surgeries and other things to try to fix these things. But for the most part, those don't solve the problem, because the problem is not the outer appearance. The problem is an inner confidence. So we need to come up with our list, you're not okay list, and one by one, work on that to where you can be okay with that. Work on getting to the point where you can be okay with mistakes, to where you can be okay feeling anxious to where you can be okay and be on your own side. And if you're wondering, like, well, how do I work on that. Use tools as you've seen in this channel. Get one of my books or you can get my program the Confidence Code in the Confidence Code, the whole first half is all about core self esteem and how to transform your relationship with yourself. And I teach you tools to work on each of these things. So like for example, let's say you beat yourself up every time you make a mistake on the Confidence code. You're going to learn tools to what to do after you make a mistake to be on your own side so you can take more bold action in the future and not beat yourself up. Whatever it is, you want to work on each of these things so you can get okay with all these different experiences. Because then when you do, your confidence is just maximized. Not because you're the best, not because you're perfect, but because you've accepted your humanness. So share your comments below. What's on your not okay list? What are you going to start accepting about yourself? Subscribe to Stay tuned to all the future videos we got coming out. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.