Dr. Aziz answers a viewer (Lynn) who fears that relaxing will lead to boredom or decreased productivity. He argues that slowing down actually improves results — "slow down to speed up" — and emphasizes energy quality over quantity of tasks. Practical recommendations include grounding through breathing and body awareness, noticing and feeling uncomfortable emotions rather than avoiding them, and using a personal filter (his "four Fs": fun, fascination, freedom, force for good) to guide activity. He reframes boredom as a label for discomfort and encourages presence.
Chapters
Hey, Dr. Aziz here. And I'm going to answer a question from a viewer who actually messaged this to me. He said, thank you for the amount of work that you put in your videos. They've helped me a lot. That's Lynn, by the way. Awesome Lynn. I'm glad to hear that. I really am. You speak a lot about being relaxed and how that affects confidence. But my situation is, how do I feel like or why do I feel like I'll get bored or won't get things done if I relax? That's a super. That's a great question. And I think it's something we all can relate to where if I'm relaxed, if I'm not keyed up and on edge and getting shit done, then I'm gonna fall behind. I'm not gonna accomplish enough. I'm not gonna reach my goals, and I'm bored. That's another thing that comes to mind. So a couple thoughts about that. It's not true. One of my teachers, Rich Litvin, who's awesome, says, slow down to speed up. Slow down to speed up. And I must have heard him say that to me or other people like 50 times. I still don't do it sometimes. I still forget that. I still think I got to speed up and go faster, but slow down to speed up. Because we think accomplishing a ton of stuff is going to get everything that we want, but it's really about the quality of what you do. And this is true for work, for business, for dating, for everything. So let's take a dating example. Let's say you want to meet someone, and so you think, I got to go out there and talk to 30 people. Well, don't talk to 30 people. Talk to one person. That's the only person you're talking to, right? You're not going to talk to 30 people at once. So talk to one woman or one man. One person. And be there fully with them. Slow down to speed up. Now, what does that mean, slow down? Simple stuff, man. Just breathing, Just feeling your body, feeling your feet in your shoes. Getting your energy out of your mind and into your body, into your chest, feeling your belly as you breathe, softening your belly. Mindfulness stuff. Slowing down to speeding up. And you will get done. Because I also believe this, that the. The energy with which we do a task determines the results. So you could get 50 things done, but if your energy is anxious and stressed, intense, then the results that you're hoping to get back from those efforts will be very different than if you did 10 things instead of 50. But your energy was clear, neutral, unattached, or maybe even fun. Excited and joyous. That's the stuff that gets the best results. And that's why I have this right on my desk. These are my four Fs. I don't know if the way cameras work if there's going to show up reverse imaged or not, but they say fun, fascination, freedom and force for good. So everything I do, I'm running that through the filter. Is this fun? Is this fascinating? Do I feel a sense of freedom as I do this? And is this me being a force for good or force for God? And so you want to, you want to be coming with that energy and then what you get done is going to be way more productive. One other thought about being bored. Boredom doesn't exist. My son Zaim, who's two and three quarters now, just started saying he's bored. He learned it from his grandpa, who says that to him all the time. For some reason, Aziz or Zaim is bored. Zaim is bored. I'm like, why are you saying that? He's just sitting there. But anyway, he learned bored. So now we're doing something. He says, I'm bored. Boredom isn't real. Boredom has this implication that there's not enough going on. And you know what's fascinating is you could go out into the woods and you could be bored for a day, but then guess what starts to happen. You start to feel at peace. So what's the difference between totally being totally relaxed and at peace versus being bored? It's just the label we put on it. And boredom is actually a code word for discomfort. I'm feeling discomfort right now. I'm feeling agitated right now. And we think bored makes us think we got to change the external circumstances. Something else has got to be going on. That's not true. Bored is a sign that we got to get more present, that we got to see. What uncomfortable feeling do I not want to be feeling right now? And then you got to feel that feeling. You got to slow down and feel it and not run away from it. Slow down to speed up your results, speed up your life, speed up your confidence, speed up your growth and get further, faster. But it all starts with being able to slow down and feel and not run away from anything. That's my answer to your question. If anyone watching you have other questions, post them below. Now I'm looking through the comments more, I'm getting more questions. I'm responding to them, as you can see here. And just hanging out with you guys a lot more, which I'm excited about. So share your questions, share your comments. What do you think? Maybe you have a different answer to the question. Let's hear it, because we can all learn from each other. And by the way, so subscribe down below if you like this and you want to see more of these. I'm putting out a lot of stuff and I can't tell you how many times and messages I get. And you can see in the comments below, watching these videos and applying this stuff will transform your confidence and all the elements of your life that come about from confidence, dating, relationships, business, success, all that stuff. So subscribe to Take charge of your life now and I'll talk to you soon. Until then, you're awesome.
