Confidence Coaching - Private Confidence Coaching

Is it possible to go from a place of shyness and anxiety and self doubt to fully believing in yourself, feeling confident in yourself, comfortable in your own skin, and having the courage to pursue what matters most to you in your life, and breaking through the obstacles that get in the way? The short answer to that question is yes. And I'm speaking from personal experience here, if you know anything about my story. I spent a decade of my life stuck in shyness and social anxiety, unable to make eye contact with people on the street, strike up conversations, speak up in groups, pursue a career, talk in meetings, talk to authority. All that stuff produced massive anxiety in me. And I was just shut down and playing small in my life. And that is until I made a clear distinction that changed everything for me. And that is that social confidence is a skill that anyone can learn. I used to believe that, oh, it's just someone has it or they don't and there's something wrong with me. I don't have it and I'm broken. But I realized that that's not true, that there is something you can do about it and you can learn this skill. And so I started to find the path to learning that skill. I read everything I could, I looked online, I went into coaching and counseling. If you want to learn more about my story, check out the About Me section of this page. But the short version of it is I broke free. And then I started to have the people close to me in my life, like my close friends were like, who are you and what have you done with Aziz? And so I started to coach them, I started to guide them. Well, you know, instead of trying this, why don't you try that? You know, when you say this to yourself in your own mind before you go talk to her, it doesn't really work. What if you said that? And I started to share what I was learning and applying, and soon enough the friends and people around me started to notice shifts. And then I started to really refine my approach and got a doctorate in clinical psychology and did more coaching programs and really dialed it in to the point where now I can say with absolute certainty that it is possible to for anyone to develop their skill of social confidence. And that's what I teach in all my programs, my audio programs, video programs, books. But the fastest, most effective way to really get there, in my opinion, is in one on one private coaching with me. Because instead of taking a theory from a book or some abstract concept or knowledge, you are speaking specifically with me about what's going on in your life. We're creating a tailor made, unique program just for you. Your specific challenges, because you, like all of us, have specific blocks that are stopping you from your natural state of confidence. I believe that we all have a natural level of confidence that would emerge. And it does emerge. When you're a little kid, you're two or three years old, you're just naturally confident, you try new things, you're bold, you take risks, you say things. But something happens as we get older and we experience pain or setback or challenges and we get more restricted and more shy and more afraid. And so we have to uncover what those blocks are for you. And that's why the one on one coaching is so powerful, because we can get really deep into it and then we can go beyond that. Because I don't want you just have some kind of intellectual idea or understanding like, oh, When I was 2 years old, my mom said this to me. That's not what this is about. This is about creating a breakthrough for you. Now that breakthrough can come in a conversation with me, in a session where you have a new insight, or maybe you make a new distinction about something, or maybe you make a new decision about who you're going to be in the world and how you're going to choose to show up and act. Or maybe you take a new action in the world and you get a different result. However the breakthrough happens, when it occurs, something shifts inside of you and life is never the same again. It's fascinating to watch when this happens in someone and all of a sudden they're like, wait a minute. Everything that I believed before was false, everything I was telling myself wasn't true. The predictions I had about how that person was going to respond to me were absolutely false. And now I see something different. I see more clearly. And then the world opens up, you have more options, more possibilities. And so those breakthroughs is what I am focused on helping you have in session. In fact, that's what I specialize in, is helping you have those breakthroughs. But we don't want to just stop there because have you ever had a moment of liberation or insight or breakthrough, but then somehow, you know, the walls close back in and you just get more constricted again and you kind of forget what you learned or it doesn't seem to apply anymore. We don't want to just have one breakthrough because then your mind can say, oh, that was a fluke. Oh, that person was just being nice to you. You can't really do that again. No, we want to take that breakthrough that energy, that liberation, and turn into consistent action to a new way of being in the world where you just approach what scares you and take things to the next level again and, and again and again and again until you build this new identity, this new reality for yourself. And so instead of approaching the world with, no, I can't do that, I'm too scared, or I'm not good enough, all of a sudden, your new reality is, sure, okay, I can do that. Oh yeah, I can go talk to that person, go introduce myself to that beautiful woman over there. Sure, I can do that. Give a. Talk to a group of people or speak up in a meeting with senior management or go ask my boss for a raise. Sure, I can do that. That's what we're going for with the individual coaching is to create that as your new reality. So you do that by converting it into consistent action. And what's my favorite thing about the coaching is when a person has this moment is when they pause and they reflect and they say, wow. You know, I'm just thinking back to six months ago, how I would have handled that or how I would approach that. And I'm a completely different person now. You know, one guy I'm working with, he recently got called into his boss's office and he was a little nervous. He's like, oh, God, what's happening? And he's pretty high level in his company, but there's always a boss, right? There's always someone above you. So he gets called in and he's like, okay, what's gonna happen? The guy sits him down and is like, you know, basically, they offered him a promotion as a short version of the story. They wanted to offer him a new position in the company, A promotion unsolicited. He wasn't asking for this, he wasn't even going for it. And he came out and he was shocked. And what happens is we've been working together for months on how to break through his fear of public speaking. When he started, this is what he told me. When I started, I just kept my head down in meetings. I just kind of twirled my pen. I tried to look like I was interested and focused and really paying attention. But inside I was just nervous and worried about what I was going to say next and what people are going to think of me. And we targeted that and he really did a lot of work on it. Started to break through that and he started to have these powerful transformations where he would speak, speak up in meetings and share his ideas, and people started to listen to him because he had a lot of good ideas, and people started to follow him and believe in him. And then he just started doing this, and this became the new norm for him. And then all of a sudden, his boss calls him in and says, we're noticing what you're doing here, and we like this. We want to put you in this new leadership position. And he came out and he told me he was shocked. He said, wow. I mean, when I think back to where I was, like, of course they noticed this. Like, I'm a totally different person. They must have picked up on this, and that's why they're offering this to me. And that's what I love about the coaching, is the real results that people get in their lives, the real results that you can get in your life that show that you're a different person, that you're no longer stuck in that shyness. And then we can focus on what do you really want to create in your life? What excites you most? And that's when this work really opens up. And I love it. But here's the thing is, I've been doing this for a number of years, and at this point, I only work with guys who are incredibly motivated, who, if you're sick and tired of feeling stuck in that place of shyness, I look for that. That exact feeling that I had like that. That motivation that only comes from being just so damn sick and tired of being stuck and frustrated by it and wanting to do something different and being willing to take the action, to invest. And you have to be willing to invest more than money, because, you know, the individual coaching is there's money investment, but there's also a time and. And an energy investment. You have to be willing to look at yourself and challenge yourself and try new things and break through. And only then, if you're motivated enough to do that, then I'm excited to work with you, because then there's no end to what we can create together. And if you're watching this and you think, well, jeez, is it really worth that? Is it really worth that time and money and investment, is it really worth it? For me, then the first thing I say in response to that is that hesitation that I don't know if it's worth the risk is one of the exact problems that we're going to work on in coaching together. Because confidence comes from taking bold action in the world. It comes from analyzing your options, not being impulsive, but it's taking a step back, analyzing your options, and then being Decisive and taking bold action. So that's the first thing that we work on in confidence coaching together is how do you build that skill of taking decisive action? But if you're also wondering, is it really worth it? I don't know. I mean, my main response to this is always, well, what happens if you don't? You know? And I really, you know, kind of bust guys on this because I spent so long there myself. I mean, not taking action, having these crazy fantasies about how things were just going to get different or worse, just settling for a life that was mediocre, like, no, that's just where. That's my lot in life. And so the question is, if you don't take action, take control, how. How are things going to be any different in your life in one year, in five years, in 10 years? You know, not too long ago, I was doing some therapy work with a guy. I still have a small therapy practice that I do here in Portland, Oregon. And I do it, you know, sometimes low cost for people. Just, I really want to help out in the community. And I started working with this guy who's 64 years old, and, you know, he hasn't had a relationship in 30 years. He has one friend, he. He works in an office, but no one really knows him. And his life is so small and so restricted. And now he's coming to me at 64 and he's like, I don't want to die alone. And it's powerful and I want to help him. And he's going to break through, too. Everyone can at any stage in their life. But, man, it's harder when you're 65, 64. It's a lot easier now when all the options are there for you. So the question is, if you don't take action now, how are things going to be any different? And then the final thing I always bring up is, well, what is. What excites you? What's most worth it to you? Because nothing motivates me, you know, other than pain, more than going for what I want. So what would you do if you had more confidence in your life? If you believed in yourself? That's where it gets exciting. What would you pursue? Can you imagine what life would be like if you felt strong and certain in yourself? If you could speak up in meetings? If you could start your own business and pursue a career that you're passionate about? If you could talk to women and date and have fun experiences, if you could create the friendships that you wanted, if. If you wanted to find that beautiful woman and settle down and marry her and create a family. What is that stuff worth? I mean, for me, it's priceless. That's what life is about. If you're ready and you're committed and motivated, then I would love to talk with you. Send me an email, give me a call, we'll chat and see if it's a good fit. And if it's a green light, then your life will never be the same again. So go ahead and send me an email, give me a call, and. And I look forward to talking to you soon.