Confidence Code - How To Truly Like Yourself

Is it possible that just by learning two things you can dramatically shift your level of confidence for your entire life? You're about to discover the two secrets, the two pieces of the puzzle that underlie all confidence and that most guys are never going to learn in their entire lives. I'm Dr. Azies. I'm the founder of the center for Social Confidence in Portland, Oregon. And I want to start by asking you a question about your confidence. Are you ready? The question is, do you like yourself? Do you really like yourself? You know, not what you want others to think or what you pretend when you're out and about in the world and you got your mask on, but when you come home at night and it's just, you know, you and you. When it's just you and your own mind, what's it like up there? Are you on your own side? Are you your own best friend? Do you, do you like yourself? Do you approve of yourself? Do you accept yourself? Do you encourage yourself? Are you proud of yourself? Proud of who you are in the world? Or is it the opposite? Are you self critical, down on yourself, hard on yourself, looking at the places where you're falling short, focusing on your flaws, Being your own worst critic, your own worst enemy? I know I spent a lot of time there. And how is it affecting you in your life? You know, when you're talking to someone, are you feeling tense and uncomfortable in the interaction? Not sure what to say next? Worried that you're going to say something that they're not going to like or that you're going to make a joke and no one's going to laugh? You're feeling tense and nervous in those interactions because you're afraid that people aren't going to like you. Or maybe you see a group of people that are laughing and they're friends and you think, they don't really want me here. I'm on the outside. My friends don't really like me. People don't really want to spend time with me. Or maybe you're walking down the street and you see that man and that woman and they're holding hands and they're in love and they're just glowing. And you look at that longingly and you think, why can't I have that? Why don't I have the confidence to be like that guy who's holding her hand and just. They're so connected and so happy and so in love and why can't I have that? And worse still, maybe you've tried, maybe you tried to push yourself. This is what I used to do try to push myself to do it. So you white knuckle it. You force yourself to have the interaction, you force yourself to make the small talk. You force yourself to try to hang out with people. You maybe even force yourself to try to ask a woman out. And how does that work? Well, first of all, it feels terrible during the whole time that you're doing it. You're tense and tight and awkward and uncomfortable and you probably don't even get the results that you want. I know I didn't. So you end up getting rejections or no or poor responses. And then you think, God, why am I doing all this? And then the worst part about it is, I don't know about you, but I had people that would say you just got to be more confident. You know, I remember I had a friend in college who was able to talk to women and all this stuff. And one time I was walking with him, we were going to go to this party. I got in because of him and I was on the way there, I was like, you know, you're pretty good with women. How do you, what do you do? How do you do it? You know? And he's just, here's what he said to me. He looked at me and he said, aziz, you just got to have confidence. And I hate that response. Maybe someone's told that to you. Maybe they said, maybe they said, you've got this one. Others aren't going to love you until you love yourself. And these truisms or, you know, cliches or maybe there's some truth to them, but they certainly don't help. And the reality is there are two things that you have to do to unlock your level of confidence. And I've distilled them down. And there's like two pieces of a puzzle. It's like two pieces of a code. And these are the secrets that most guys are never going to learn. And the first one is you have to have rock solid self esteem. Your self esteem is the core of your confidence. And you have to develop that to the place where you're solid in yourself, you really like yourself, you're on your own side. You love and accept, accept yourself no matter what. That is the first piece. And I'd imagine if that shifted in your life and you really, really deeply loved yourself and deserved and knew that you deserved love and acceptance from people, that your self esteem and your confidence might just dramatically shift. But there's one other piece that I found that is the other part of the code and that is Whether it's starting a conversation with someone, having small talk, being able to share about yourself, being able to make friends friends, being able to ask a woman out, go on dates, be in a relationship, all of those things are very specific social skills. So the second piece is you need to get decent social skills. You don't need to have the best social skills in the world, but you need to have decent social skills and then just to be able to start a conversation with someone. And those, we tend to think that they're mysterious or they're something that you just know how to do. But no, they're very specific skills that can be broken down into steps that you can learn. It's like how to start a conversation. Step one, you can learn those things. And so that is what I provide in a new program I've created called the Confidence Code. The Confidence Code is a DVD series of videos that teach you in depth, those exact two things. How to increase your self esteem. To have rock solid self esteem. And this is designed because I was so sick and tired of people saying you just got to like yourself more, you just got to have better self esteem. Well, how, how do we do it? And if you're as frustrated as I was when I was starting this process, then you want, you know, the pain of just being told to have better self esteem. It actually probably makes you feel worse about yourself because then it's like, oh yeah, you're not having what the social life you want. Well, it's because you have low self esteem and you suck. That doesn't feel good. So we need to learn how do we increase our self esteem. And that's what the Confidence Code teaches you. In three DVDs, which is over five hours of material, we go step by step breaking down what are the obstacles to self esteem? What exactly do we do that stops it from growing? Where does it come from and how do we do it? And there's very specific techniques, powerful techniques that are cutting edge, that are being developed all the time that really work to help you shift that in the DVDs. We go through them. It's not just a bunch of intellectual knowledge where I abstractly tell you how to do it. We actually, just like this, face to face with me, we actually go into it step by step, do written exercises, do a number of techniques where I guide you through the process so that simply by watching and participating in the DVD you feel a shift. Right? You're not just an idea. Oh yeah, I should like myself more. Oh yeah, I guess I'm A good guy. But you feel down in your heart and your core. Yeah, I feel lighter, I feel okay. I feel good. And that translates into all different areas of your life. You might be wondering, well, how did I learn this stuff? How do I know how to help you raise your self esteem or how to help you teach, you know, develop the social skills you need? Well, I wish I could say that I'm a natural and I just always have loved myself and now I'm sharing that because I thought I had such great ideas that I should just share it. No, the reality is I was motivated like you are, like we all are, by pain. I mean, I was stuck in a place of just crippling shyness for so many years, for almost a decade where I had terrible self esteem. I hated myself. I would look in the mirror and just tear myself to shreds trying to start a conversation with someone. I'd be so nervous I just wouldn't do it. And if I was forced to or trying to force myself, I would just be sweating bullets and feel terrible afterwards. And don't even get me started on women and relationships. I was just off limits. And then even when I started to try more and started to increase my confidence and the amount of self criticism, self rejection I felt was probably one of the most painful things I felt in my life. And so I was driven. I was like, I gotta find a way out of this. It's kind of like a crazed animal that's in a cage, right? So I started reading everything and getting my hands on. I've read several hundred self help books. I started, you know, listening to audio programs, anything I could download, I would start listening to, putting in my headphones, my headphones in, non stop listening to stuff, trying to improve myself, trying to, trying to improve my self esteem. Then I started to go to workshops, weekend workshops. Then I got into regular counseling and I was like, how do I, you know, shift this? And stuff started to shift for me. But then I was like, I really want to get this stuff on an even deeper level. So I decided I was going to go become a doctor of psychology and studied at Stanford and Palo Alto universities with some of the leading people in the world. I was like, these people, they must know how to do this. And so I studied under them and I learned their techniques and I learned their skills and, and I combined all this stuff. Then I started working with people and testing it out and giving it a shot. And I've been doing that now for over a decade. And here's the thing. Though I did a lot of stuff and I tried a lot of stuff that doesn't really work. Maybe it works for some people, but it didn't work for me. Maybe it worked for the workshop leader, but it didn't work for me. And I did the same thing working with people. I was like, oh, I heard this might help and it didn't work. So what I did is I refined this over the decade to the most powerful results. Producing exercise and activities and techniques to raise self esteem and to build social confidence and build your social skills. And that's what I put into the confidence code. I've been doing this with guys for probably hundreds of men over the last decade. Guys who are in a place of complete and stuck and debilitating shyness where they can barely leave their house, barely go to the supermarket, certainly don't have a job or a social life. And using these techniques with them to help them really on a fundamental shift, how they see themselves. And then when they shifted their self esteem, you wouldn't believe how quickly the results come. And I think that that's the thing that we need to really focus on is like what happens when your self esteem shifts. As you improve your self esteem through this program, one of the main benefits is that you'll just start to feel better about yourself. I can't tell you how much better it feels to wake up in the morning and not be criticizing and attacking myself. Oh my God, what a relief. Or to be able to have a conversation with someone and in the whole time my head's not saying you suck. You said that wrong, you're terrible, what's wrong with you? And then afterwards beating myself up for days. Me and a lot of the clients I've worked with have dealt with this forever. And think about being free of that. Think about being comfortable in your own skin. Think about being able to go talk to someone and be interested in getting to know them and, and to sharing who you are with them and learning about them because you're curious and your self worth being just completely out of the circuit, out of the picture. It's not even related to that experience. Imagine that freedom and what you could do with that. Imagine being able to go talk to someone that you want to talk to. Let's say you want to make friends. Imagine saying, oh yeah, that guy's cool, I'd like to hang out with him. And starting a conversation, finding common interests, being able to hang out with him, go to a movie, talk, go for a run, whatever you want to do, making friends Getting those connections, you know. And this program will also help you in the area of dating and relationships, because, my God, self esteem and social skills are key in that area. And you might think, no, it's actually that there's something wrong with me and I'll never have that. And trust me, if you have that thought, you have to get this program because I go in depth into it. The whole first DVD is about the obstacles that we have, the stuff that we tell ourselves, the negative story that we have that blocks us from making the shift. So you have to watch that if you're thinking that right now. But you just take for a moment that you could have that result from doing this program. You can feel more comfortable in yourself when it comes to talking to a woman, making a conversation with her, introducing yourself, talking to her at a party or at a friend's house, or just even in a bookstore or in a coffee shop. Just being so comfortable in yourself that you're able to put yourself out there in a way that's way more than you can do right now, and maybe even way more than you can imagine right now. That's another reason to get this program is because you'll be able to visualize and help see that there are things that you can do that you used to think were not possible. We talk about opening up your potential and expanding through visualization and other techniques. So there's so much you can do. So much this program.