Confidence MINDSET SHFT You Must Make For RAPID RESULTS!

Hey, Dr. Aziz. Here, let's talk about you and the most important fundamental mindset shift that you need to make to create the confidence that you want in your life and ultimately the quality of life that you want. Because that all comes back to your confidence. If you have the confidence to go after something, to be who you are, to be how you want to be around different people and dating and socially, it all comes back to your confidence. And there's a mistake that I see most people making when it comes to confidence building. And. And this actually came up twice with two clients that I'm working with in this week. And I thought, I have to record a video on this. So to make sure that you get this, because this is essential for your confidence and your growth. And here's the mistake I see people making, and you see this in dieting as well, and fitness changes. The unconscious mindset is, how short of a time span do I have to do the uncomfortable stuff to get all the goodies? So how quickly can I lose the weight? How much do I have to work out? How little can I get by working out to get the fitness goal that I have for myself? This is kind of the unconscious attitude that we have, and it's the same thing when it comes to confidence building, because you know by now, if you watch my videos on this channel or anything else, my books, whatever, that you know that we have to build the confidence. The confidence is a byproduct of taking bold action in the world, of doing the things that scare you until fear has no power to stop you, and doing them repeatedly and again and again. And sure, you can work on your beliefs and do some cognitive exercises or other things to help you get ready to go take the action, but you still got to go take the action again and again. Now, most people understand that, but then you have this unconscious idea of, like, great, okay, yeah, go do stuff that I'm scared of. Great, great, great. How much do I have to do that? Do I. It's so uncomfortable. Maybe I'll do it a little bit. Maybe I'll do it now and then. And I was telling a client just earlier this week, I was like, look, you can do that and get some benefit, but we're working together, and you and I are working because you want these big results in your life. You want a radical transformation in your life, and you want to be able to experience some of the things that I've experienced, which are big changes. And I said, in order for me to get them, what I had to do was Make a fundamental decision to do what scares me. It went away from like, I'm going to avoid it, I don't like it to. When this is uncomfortable, that's a sign that it's important for me to go do that. Fear is an invitation to go take action. And it wasn't just a I'll do that for a week or two until I get some basic result and then I quit. It became a fundamental approach to life, a life philosophy, if you will. If it's scared, do it. That's how it started. And as I got a little bit older, it became do what scares me in the service of something greater. And what is greater? Well, it depends upon you and what your goals are. Maybe it's doing what scares me now in the service of being able to have an extraordinary, awesome relationship and have a life partner, have a family. Maybe it is doing what's uncomfortable now or scares me now to be able to have more success in my career. Maybe it's being able to put yourself out there in a bigger way to reach people and help people, which is what I do in business. And I've had to overcome and am constantly overcoming my own fears, my own discomforts of putting myself out there in a bigger way, doing what scares me in the service of something greater, which in this case is helping people shift out of social anxiety into confidence. So the fundamental shift that you need to make is, is not how short can I do this for, It's I'm gonna do this for the rest of my life. It's like, well, how long do I have to eat vegetables and stuff? For the rest of your life if you want to be healthy. And so it's the same thing with your social confidence and your social fitness. So embrace that. Maybe a part of you tantrums against it. No, no, it should be easier. I had another client I was talking to, same thing. And he's like, yeah, but why do I have to work on this? And I was like, well, first of all, everyone has to work on their confidence. No one that you admire for their confidence was born that way. They had to do what scares them repeatedly. And secondly, what else are you going to do? Just settle for the life that's not satisfying for you? That's not the game that my client wants to play and that's not the game that you want to play if you're watching these videos. So what are the things that scare you? Make a list, go do them. That's simple, two step process. Make the list of scary things and Go do them. And of course there's gradual exposure. You can do a little bit at a time. You can pick the not scariest thing and work your way up. Confidence University, some of you have been asking about that that is coming, it's coming in July, we're beta testing it now and doing all kinds of fun stuff. But in there we do a ton with graduated exposure, systematic action, step by step. So the reason that's so such a big part of the program is because I know just a bunch of more information in your head. It's not going to change anything. We got to get into that fundamental consistent action. So make the list. Do the things that scare you and you will build confidence. It's formulaic, it's going to happen. It's just a matter of consistently doing it over time and really embracing that, really moving into it. And I'll share one more thing about this. You can say, okay, fine, I get it, I get it, I have to do it. Alright, here I go. Or you can really embrace it. And what that looks like is here. Let me tell you a quick story. I was working on my social confidence especially I wanted to approach women. This is when I was younger, in my 20s, and I was scared to talk to anyone. And so I learned about friendly greetings practice where you just walk down a busy street and say hi to people. And it was uncomfortable and it was uncomfortable to say to hi to men, women, attractive women, old ladies, old men, groups of people, anyone and everyone. Because I had just more general social anxiety and yet I would go do it. And what I would do is I would look for opportunities to go do it. This is what I'm talking about, embracing it. No one's forcing me to do this. I want this because I want the result. So I'm gonna go meet a friend in San Francisco. It's a 40 minute drive from my house was at the time. I drive out there 30, 40 minutes early and drive down to Union street or some other big area in San Francisco and just walk around, add time in my day to go do that on purpose. And I'm driving there and I'm getting a park and I'm like, I'm nervous. This is uncomfortable, this sucks, right? But if you're not feeling any discomfort or any dread before you go do some of these things, then you're probably not doing very much. Now it doesn't have to be overwhelming panic attack dread, it's just that little bit of like, oh, here we go, you know, and to bring it back to a workout. Think about a workout. You know, have you ever done a hard workout or a hard run or a bike ride or whatever you're into, and you know beforehand or part way through, you're like, whoa, this is intense. This is uncomfortable. That's how you know you're growing. So get out there, take those actions, embrace it. And until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.