Confidence Secret: How To Skyrocket Your Social Power

Do you feel powerful in social situations? Whether it's a networking meeting or a house party or a mixer or speed dating or whatever it is, when you show up, do you feel confident and powerful in yourself? Do you have social power? That means you can say what you want to who you want in the way you want and feel free to do so. And if you want more of that or if you don't have that and you need it, stay tuned and watch this episode. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, best selling author and the founder of the center for Social Confidence. And this is the show for you if you want to 10x your confidence in any area of your life that matters to you. Your dating life, your social life, your business life. And today we're going to be looking at social power. This is your social life. But this applies, as you would bet, to business and relationships and dating, because those are all social. So here's social power. Being able to walk into a room and talk to who you want to talk to, when you want to talk to them. You can join into groups, you can interrupt, you can ask questions that you want to ask. You can make the jokes that you want to ask. You're not intimidated by people because you're fucking powerful. And it doesn't mean you're like, I'm more powerful than you. I will ground you into the dust like a bully. I just mean, like, you know, you have personal power. You know that you have so much to bring and you feel strong in yourself. You really feel strong in your body. And this is totally foreign to you, then good, because you're going to learn something that's going to help you get more of this. And if you know what I'm talking about, this is going to help you boost it even higher. So here's what we do that bleeds out. Our social power is we give it all away before we enter the room, typically. So what we do is we deflate ourselves on the way we do our pre game ritual of thinking of all the things that could go wrong, imagining how awkward it would be if someone rejected me. Or what if no one would want to talk to me at this mixer? Or what if I just sit there and stand on the sidelines like I did last time? I don't know how to start conversations with people. I hate parties. You know, if we do that pre game, we're deflating ourselves and then we show up and we're just like, we've given all our power away. We don't feel powerful, we feel weak, we feel needy, we feel desperate. And then we try to go in and get it back. So I'm gonna go talk to that person and if they like me, if they approve of me, then, ah, okay, I got a little shard of my power back. Did you ever play the original Zelda for the Nintendo Entertainment System? The original nes? If not, you probably are missing out huge. But there's probably been many Zeldas, so maybe you've played a more recent one in whatever, the newest Nintendo GameCube 360. I don't know, whatever the newest Nintendo thing is. But anyway, the original Zelda there is the Triforce, which is an orange glowing triangle that does something awesome. I don't really know what it does, but apparently it was shattered. My mythology here is a little shaky, but it was shattered by Ganon. Leave a comment below if you know what's up and help us understand the history and mythology of Zelda. This is very important. I will take as much time as I need to in this episode to explain this because this is more important than whatever it was I was talking about. Social power. Go play Zelda and link Zelda 2 for Nintendo. My God, that game is awesome. I miss video games. Okay, so you have your Triforce, glowing orange triangle, and it's shattered by Ganon and sent to all the corners of the world. And then Zelda Link actually is trying to rescue the Princess Zelda from Ganon and he's trying to get the Triforce. So he has to go to all these different places. He has to go to the forest and the dungeons and all these things and claim little bits of the Triforce. And then each time he gets it, he gets another piece and he's like, dun dun, dun dun. And he builds up his Triforce and eventually you get the whole thing and then you become master of the universe, win the game, and are extremely successful until you turn off the Nintendo and then you're like, oh, I'm not successful at anything outside of this. But anyway, that's what we're like when it comes to social power. We've shattered our Triforce and our glowing orange source of power to everyone at the party, everyone at the mixer, everyone at work, everyone at the networking event. And we show up and we're like, if I get this person to like me, then I get one piece of my Shard back and then I gotta get this other person to like me and approve of me and I get my other Shard back and we're just going around, we're trying to get it and we don't enjoy it, obviously, it's. And we don't feel power, obviously. And we just don't want to do it again. And we struggle. And on top of that, we don't get the results that we want because people aren't attracted to someone who's saying, will you like me? Will you please work with me? I'm desperate. Will you please date me? I need you. I don't know you, but I need you. That's not. People are like, desperation is not sexy. That's a podcast that I recorded recently. So by the way, if you don't know my podcast, you should check it out. Shrinkforthy guy.com and episode every week. Really in depth for free. And if you want to support me in that, go to itunes and listen. You'll learn a ton. So anyway, our social power is we want to claim that triforce before we go in. We want to get that power back and show up with full power in ourselves. You don't need that person's approval. We want to be strong as you come in. Now how do you do that? Well, one way to do that is to activate power. And I teach you in depth how to do this. Inside of confidence unleashed. You can get a copy at your no confidence unleashed now.com life changing program. Check that out. But so reclaiming power. The first thing you want to do is your pregame ritual has to change. You want to be building power on the way to the networking event. And the simplest way to do that is to get powerful in your body. Jump up and down. Activate power. If you're driving, get pumped up in your car. Yes. Get. Yes, I got this. Yes, yes, I got this. Yes, yes, I got this. Get intense in your body. Play a song that gets you crazy. That maybe even gets you a little aggressive. That's fine. That's strong. Because that power is going to activate in you and you're going to walk into that room and not only do you not need to get anything from someone, you actually can be giving your energy and attention because you're like, I'm powerful. I got this. Of course I have so much to offer. I don't need anything from this person. Now when you're talking to them, you can listen in a whole new way and they're gonna feel that and they're gonna like it and they're gonna talk to you. And if they don't, okay, who else? I got my entire triforce. I don't need the shard from them, right? So it's like, oh, they don't talk to me. Okay, well, have a good evening here. It was great talking to you. Boom. Someone else, she doesn't want to talk to you. She says, no. I said, great, well, it's been a pleasure talking to you. Boom. Someone else, when you have the power, you can do that. And also your power gives you a shield. So if someone says, no, I don't like you. And directly or indirectly, you're not like, oh, destroyed, shattered. Ah, my triforce pieces. Right, you, that power gives you a shield. So you can be like, whatever. Boom, you're solid, you're strong. So you want to activate the power. So the key here is stop giving it away before you go into the room. Change your pre game, change how you show up, show up with more power. And if you want to learn how to show up with 10x power, more power than you ever felt, check out my program, Confidence Unleashed. Because we go in depth for a long time, an entire module, maybe up to an hour of really in depth exercises, things that you can do that activate your power. This isn't theoretical stuff. You will leave the module, the videos vibrating with a sense of new power in yourself that you can go then apply. And this is what the feedback I've gotten from people. So check that out. Go to confidenceunleashednow.com and also share your comments below. What have you noticed? How do you give your power away? And what are other techniques and things that you do to build power, to reclaim it, to own it and of course watch other episodes of this show. The more you watch, the more you learn. You can check out those episodes by clicking on them right now. And first, you might want to go to confidenceunleashednow.com you can get started. You can get a free ebook that teaches you some really powerful stuff, three ways to transform your story and triple your confidence, all for free. So check that out@confidenceunleashednow.com and until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are, as powerful as you really are, and to know that you're awesome. And I'll talk to you soon. Sam.