This is a transcript of a YouTube episode of Dr. Aziz’s show 'Art of Extraordinary Confidence' (audience: men seeking higher confidence). The episode explains the concept 'permission to misfire' — deliberately allowing yourself to make mistakes in dating, public speaking, sales, and assertiveness as the primary route to build confidence. Dr. Aziz illustrates the idea with personal anecdotes (approaching women, supermarket interaction, teaching guitar) and closes with a call-to-action to practice misfires and engage with his paid program.
Chapters
Do you hesitate? Do you hold back? Are you tentative? Do you kind of try to get the lay of the land before taking action, maybe waiting to see what other people do? If you are, then you are limiting yourself and your confidence in more ways than you can imagine, and we got to help you shift that. We got to help you break through that, and that's exactly what we're going to do in today's episode of the show. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence, the show for men who want to 10x their confidence in all the areas of life that dating, relationships, business, finances, your career. Just basically learning how to kick ass in life by having a massive amount of confidence in yourself. Belief in yourself. Trust in yourself. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, and today I'm going to share something with you that's going to help you on your path to radically increasing your confidence, and that is permission to misfire. I love this phrase. I actually just had a client that said that. He's like, maybe I need to give myself permission to misfire. And I was like, whoa, that is so good. Do you mind if I. I love that phrase. I'm gonna write that down. Do you mind if I use that phrase in further teaching? And he's like, oh, yeah, sure, fine. Right? And so permission and misfire. I love it because it's exactly what you need to get confidence. Because here's how it works. You get confidence by doing the things. I talked about this in a previous episode. Doing the things that are outside your comfort zone, doing the things that you haven't done before. If you try to stay completely safe in your comfort zone and avoid all new things, like you want to get more confident. You want to earn more money for your business. So maybe you need to get better at sales. And you're like, I'm not really comfortable. I don't want to do that. So you're not going to build confidence in that area, or you want to go meet that attractive woman. You're single. You want to be dating. I don't really want to go talk. I'm not. Then you're not going to get confidence. So the only way to get confidence is to do the thing. And there's a whole bunch of stuff I can teach you about that. But one thing is we're really hesitant because maybe we're not very good at it. Maybe we don't trust ourselves yet. Maybe we haven't had enough experience, and so we're really afraid of making a mistake, of doing it wrong. So I'M gonna go talk to her. And what if I'm nervous? What if I. What if my voice gets tight? What if I don't know what to say? And then she says, oh, I don't like this guy anymore, right? I don't want to talk to him. Or what if I have a sales presentation and it just. It goes real bad and I freeze up or. I don't know. So we get really worried about making a mistake, about doing it wrong, and then we end up doing nothing. And that builds our confidence nowhere. So we have to get out there, and we have to have permission to misfire. That means permission to make mistakes. Permission to go up to her and be like, I mean, I could tell you story after story of when I was working on the area of dating relationships, like, having a conversation that just went terrible. I remember talking to. There's a woman in a supermarket. She's, like, getting some coffee or something. And I went up to ask her a question. I was like, can I ask you. And this is a way to start a conversation that typically works really well. Can I ask you a quick question? Most people will say, yeah. And I was like, can I ask you a quick question? She's like, no. And I was like, very well, then. And I walked away. It's rare that someone would say that. Usually at least hear your question and then kind of avoid you. But. And I mean, so many interactions like that. Or it's just these misfires. Like, you know, think about that with a weapon. Right? Here we go. It didn't work. And that's exactly what we got to give ourselves permission to do. Permission to misfire, permission to make mistakes. So whatever you're working on, public speaking, maybe you're going to get up and you're going to share something in a meeting, and you're going to go, well, I think that the. And it's going to come out wrong or whatever, but that's okay. That's. That's how you're going to get over the. You know, it's like, I've told this story before in one of my programs where my brother wanted to learn how to play the guitar. And I was going to teach him, because I play the guitar. I remember we sat down and I was trying to teach him a pretty basic song, just a few single notes. And I noticed that he was really tentative, really hesitant, like. And I was like, what's going on, man? And he's like, well, I don't. I don't want to make a mistake. Like, it sounds Bad. If I'm not pressing the, the string down right, or it buzzes or whatever. And I'm like, oh, no. So I had him take his left hand off the neck of the guitar, take the pick and just rub it up and down the guitar, make this terrible, like, sound. I was like, you gotta get comfortable making bad sounds. Permission to misfire. Permission to misfire. You have interactions to burn when it comes to meeting people. Social interactions. The social interaction doesn't go, well, fuck it, Misfire. Move on. You speak up at a meeting and you lose your words a few times. Fuck it, keep doing it. Permission to misfire. You want to be more assertive in your life. You want to stop being such a nice guy and you want, you know, you want to stop saying yes to everyone, pleasing everyone. So you got to be more assertive. And sometimes you're going to do that and maybe it's not going to be, it's going to be a little messy or maybe it comes out with a little bit of an edge because you got a bunch of pent up frustration inside and you're like, no, I won't give you a ride to the airport, God damn it. And if it comes out a little intense, more aggressive than assertive, that's fine. Permission to misfire. You'll just course correct. You'll course correct. You'll keep getting to where you want to go. And the only way you're going to do that is to give yourself that permission. And the more you do that, the more you can take the actions, the more you can learn, the more you can grow, the faster you can build your confidence. So this week, give yourself permission to misfire and leave your comments below. Tell us about some of the misfires. I mean, those are great. They end up being the funniest stories. And I have a bunch of those in my product, 30 days to dating Mastery. That program is all about giving you permission to misfire in dating and relationships and overcoming that fear of rejection. And in there I have some great stories about my misfires of talking to women. And it's great because that's some of the best feedback I've gotten from people who've got that program is they say, you know, the best thing. I mean, the strategies were great, the missions were great. The best thing, though, Aziz, was actually hearing your stories of crashing and burning because it gave me permission to make mistakes. I realized that it was, they're kind of funny, actually, and that they were no big deal and it was okay to not be perfect. And I love that feedback, and it's absolutely. That's why I share those stories. So permission to misfire and share those comments below. Check out other episodes of the show to keep watching, keep learning, keep growing your confidence, and until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
