Confident Self-Talk!

Are you in control of that voice in your head? Yes or no? You know the voice I'm talking about, the one that goes on non stop that is constantly like narrating your life and maybe not even what's happening in this moment in your life. It's like narrating yesterday and tomorrow and predictions and memories and it's just like this is. Oh, that wasn't very good. Well, that, that could have been better. Well, I don't know why you did that. What did that person mean by that? Right. It's just going on, on and on and on. Most of the time it's negative. And most of us are being just drug around this thing by the nose, like, okay, you want me to go that way? All right, I guess I'll go that way. Yeah, I'm a failure. Yeah, you're right. I'm probably a failure. And we're just getting bounced around by this horrible voice that is just smashing your confidence. I don't care. You could take the most confident person in the world and you give them a day of shitty self talk and, and they're gonna feel anxious, they're gonna feel stressed, they're gonna feel down. The key, the difference between someone who's highly confident and someone who's not is not that that confident person has some inner. They're born with it. We all know that's bs. Cause you can learn confidence. But it's also not even that they've had successes, because there are people who've had tons of successes, are high levels in their career, or have lots of people that love them or have a fantastic relationship, and they approach that new thing and instead of feeling confidence, they feel anxiety. Can you relate to that? I know lawyers who are stressed out as shit before every new trial, no matter how many they've won, no matter how many successful performances they have. Same thing with in athletics, with sports. Sometimes in different work situations, sales calls, whatever it is, people could be nervous even though they've had success in the past. So it's not about the past successes. It's about the voice in your head. And there's so many different ways that we can take control of this. If you want to go much deeper in this, check out my ebook on my website, five Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence. I want to give it to you as a gift. You can get it for free. So down in the description below, just click on my website SocialConfidenceCenter.com or just type it in the bar. SocialConfidenceCenter.com and get my ebook. Enter your email. I'll send it to you instantly. Five Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence and in there we talk a lot about getting control of this voice in your head. Because no matter what, it's influencing you. It's influencing you to not take effective action. It's telling you that your action is not going to work, so don't try anyway. Or even if you do take action, it'll say, that wasn't good enough. You should have done more. And so you can't win. You got to get control of this voice. And there's so many different ways to do it. But here's one tip I want to share with you today. Because I want to give you one bit of information you can use and you can start to build on that. And if you want to go further, you can check out the ebook on my website. So one thing decide right now. I only speak well to myself. I only speak well to myself. I only treat myself with respect. So for years, years I had the worst body image stuff. I mean I would like look in the mirror. I had a lot of confidence. I thought I was not good in a lot of ways, but one way I just thought I was really ugly. Like I would look in the mirror. It started when I was young. I learned in high school that I had dark circles around my eyes which were unattractive. And then I got acne and I was like, oh my God. I was already not attractive. And now I have acne. Now I'm like undateable, unlovable. I'm surprised people even want to be my friend. It was that bad. I thought that poorly of myself. And even when I got rid of the acne, I thought that would solve all my problems. And it didn't. I didn't like my face, I didn't like my hair, I didn't like my body shape and on and on and on. All this like self criticism and. And then I did a lot of work to really heal that over the years. And as I gained in confidence, I really let a lot of stuff go and got on my own side. But then I noticed not too long ago it creeping back. I was doing a lot more strength training and running and working out, focusing on getting stronger. And there was a part of me was like, and then I'm finally going to get that, you know, men's health body. Yeah, I'll finally be somebody. And so I started to notice a pattern of looking in the mirror and, and doing the same shit That I did, you know, 15 years ago, where maybe you do this, you look in the mirror, and instead of just looking at yourself or looking as if you're seeing another person or even better, looking at your beloved, looking at your beautiful spouse or someone you're dating and you think is hot, or one of your kids that you just love, instead of looking at them like a human, a full human. What I would do is I would look at myself in the mirror. This is when I was younger, and I would, like, look at right here in the area of my eyes and just be like, gross. So you're hyper focusing on your flaw, and then you're also distorting it to make it look worse. So flash forward 15 years. I don't do that anymore. I don't. I mean, if I'll look at my whole face, but I don't judge the area on my eyes. Even if you told me to focus on it, I'd just be like, yeah, it's my face. Like, it's lost all charge. But I notice it moved to a new area. So I'm looking in the mirror, and what am I doing? I'm looking at, like, the shape of my body and, like, my body fat, my love handles. Like, I gotta get this. Got to get less body fat. Got to get rid of those love handles, right? And I'm not looking at anything else in the mirror. Just when I get out of the shower, straight into that, I'm not there yet. It sucks. And then I caught myself, and I said, what am I doing? I'm not following what I teach. I'm not following what I know works about confidence. Because remember, if you take one thing from this video other than get control of that voice and start talking to yourself better, Number two is you can learn confidence. This isn't some inborn trait. These are patterns that you develop. So I didn't have confidence. I learned how to change the way I saw my body and then look a little bit later. I'm not doing that stuff. And so that low confidence is creeping back. But I knew exactly what to do. So I stopped one day right when I was doing it. I said, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't do that. I don't talk to myself that way. I only treat myself with respect. I talk to myself with dignity. I talk to myself like someone that I love. So I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked in my eyes, and I said, yeah, you're looking good. You look awesome, man. Look at your body. You're looking great. And I'm like, yeah, that's right. And you might say, oh my God, how cheesy this is, how stupid this is. Look, you can judge it all day long, but I will guarantee you that if you took two people who looked the same, identical in every single way, in terms of their job, they, their popularity, their appearance, their health, everything, and you put them side by side and person A didn't control that voice in their head and they looked in the mirror and they said, and you had person B who said this cheesy stuff in the mirror. Guess who's going to be more confident? Guess who's going to feel happier in their life? B. Right. And also guess who's probably going to get better results in the long term? Well, that's up to you, but in my experience, it's B. So who are you going to be? Person A or Person B? Share down below where are you taking control? What are you saying to yourself? What decisions are you making as you watch this video? Awesome. Thanks for being with me today. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.