Cure Social Anxiety: Dr Aziz's Story - From Shyness To Confidence

Hey, Dr. Aziz here. Today I'm going to share with you a short version of my story, which I also call how I know that you are not stuck in shyness. And because of my story, I know that no one, no matter what they're telling themselves, no matter what you're telling yourself, is stuck in the way that you think you are. Now, let me explain, because I myself was stuck in shyness for many years. When I was a little kid, I was just born shy. My mom said when. When people would come visit, even if they were an aunt or an uncle or a family friend, I would run and hide behind her legs. So I was just born shy. But it wasn't really a problem when I was a little kid until I got to middle school. Now middle school is when everything started to shift. That's when I started to really see I was different than other people. Other people could just go talk to someone, but I just couldn't. I'd feel nervous. I wouldn't be able to go talk to other kids if there was a dance or something like that, if I even went, I wouldn't be able to go dance or do those other things. I would just feel totally restricted and uncomfortable and anxious in myself. And I didn't know what was going on. And so what I started to do is just come up with stories. I remember one time. This is just a little snippet into how much it was bothering me on the smallest little things. I remember one time I got to school and I had socks that had a couple of red stripes around the top of them. And I noticed that every other kid in my class who was wearing shorts had just straight white socks with no red stripes. And I remember I was so uncomfortable all day long. I just couldn't stop thinking about it, like, oh, my God, what have people noticed? My socks. I'm so different. I'm so weird. And then it just progressed from there. I mean, that was the beginning. Beginning of the end, right? And just all these stories started to come up like, I'm different. People are going to notice me and think less of me. They're going to judge me. I started getting more and more anxious. And then I got to high school, and it just got worse, you know, I remember I had a good friend, Chris, and we would hang out a lot, spend a lot of time together, and somehow Chris would always have a woman that wanted to date him. First Jessica wanted to date him, then Danielle wanted to date him, then Meredith wanted. And all these women wanted to date him. And we were Friends, we hung out all the time. I didn't see what he was doing to get all these women to come talk to him. And so I came up with some very powerful conclusions. I realized that, oh, Chris is stronger than I am. He's in better shape. He's taller, he's buffer. That must be what it is. I must not be strong and fit enough for women to like me. And then I noticed that, you know, Chris is a white guy who's Caucasian, and I'm mixed and I have pigmentation around my eyes. And I started to get really obsessed with those. Like, oh, I have these terrible dark circles underneath my eyes. And that's why no women could ever want me. And I was just stuck. And I was just telling myself the worst stories that you can imagine. My question for you, and maybe what you're thinking about right now is what stories are you telling yourself right now about your attractiveness, about your appearance, about your desirability to women, or just your capability in the world? In any case, I got really stuck in these stories. But here's one thing I told myself that allowed everything to stay in stasis, everything to stay the status quo. You know what I told myself? I said, things will be different in, in the future. Ah, yes, When I go to college, there will be women as far as the eye can see and many opportunities to make friends. And I'll just stumble into those things and everything will work out. So I don't need to do anything differently right now. And so I didn't. And so nothing changed. And then guess what happened? I went to college. And what happened? Did I have women lining up to date me? Did I have new friend opportunities? Was I comfortable around people and speaking up in front of groups or anything like that? No, no, because I wasn't doing anything. I was just hoping it would change and be different. And it wasn't. And then I spent years in that same place. I mean, years where I would take me months to work up the courage to ask a woman out. And if I had to do a group project where I had to speak in front of people, I would have a panic attack beforehand. I couldn't breathe when I was. When I was up there and needed to talk to people. And my life just got smaller and, and smaller and smaller. And I avoided and did less and less and less until it just felt like I was hopeless, like nothing was going to change. And the stories that I'd been telling myself of the future is going to be better. Well, what's going to come after college, I'm going to go to work and how's my life going to be any different? They broke down. That story broke down. And I realized something clicked in me. One night at like 2 in the morning, I couldn't sleep and I just gotten rejected by a woman that had taken six weeks to work up the courage to go ask her out. And she's like, you're nice, but no. And I just was there at two in the morning just like aching inside. But something clicked. The stories all broke down. And I said, I, I'm going to change this. I'm going to do whatever it, I have to do whatever it takes. I'm so desperate. I need to make something different happen or my life's going to just be this never ending series of tragedies. And that was the turning point for me. And that's when I realized that I can make a shift in my life if I do something different. I didn't know what I was going to do yet. I just knew I was going to do something different. And that's how I know that you're not stuck in shyness right now. Because I know that whatever stories you're telling yourself about why you can't, why it won't work out, why you're not attractive enough, why you don't have what it takes to succeed in business, or whatever it is you're telling yourself, you can't do that. They are bs, they are bullshit, they are lies. And I know this because I was telling myself the same things. And the reason I know that they're not true is because when you take different action, you will get different results. And that's what I started to do. And so I started to go to the Internet and I looked up pickup artist stuff. And I applied all the stuff I learned from David d' Angelo and all these other pickup artist guys. And you know what? It actually kind of worked. I was shocked. And so I started to go talk to women. And, and what it did is it gave me confidence because I believed I had something to say. Oh, this is what this guy told me to say. So now I can go do it. And I started to have success. I started to get positive responses when I never did before. But you know what? It only sort of worked because I wasn't really being genuine. I wasn't really being myself. I was just being this kind of pickup artist, suave guy doing stuff like peacocking and all the things that I thought I had to do in order to attract women. But you know, the Reality is you don't have to do that stuff. The reality is what got me the success in my life was the fact that I started trying, that I started going over and talking to those women that I started to approach. What scared me that I started to look for opportunities to go public speak and I joined Toastmasters. And if someone asked someone to give a presentation in class, I would raise my hand and I would start doing it because I said, you know what? Nothing's going to change unless I take action to make that happen. And so that's now what my dedicate my life, I've dedicated my life to doing this. My work, my mission in the world is to help anyone else who's stuck in the place that I was in learn that A, they're not stuck, A you're not stuck, and B, there's something you can do about it. And I'm going to show you what you can do about it. So in all the videos that are going to and emails I'm going to be sending to you over the weeks and months to come is going to lay out for you what you need to do in order to make a drastic shift in your life. The there's very specific actions and if you take those actions, you'll get different results, you get better results and your life will change. And that's exactly what happened to me. And it's happened with everyone that I've worked with who's been willing to take the risks and who's gotten to that point that says I'm going to do whatever it takes. And if someone says those words to me, I'll smile and say, you just said the magic words. Because if you really mean it, if you really mean what you just said, then your success is inevitable. Whether it's you want to talk to women, you want to find a girlfriend, you want to marry a woman and have a family, you want to start giving bigger presentations, you want to create your own business, you want to step up to senior management and really be able to talk to people at all levels and not be intimidated. All that stuff is possible and I've done it myself and I can help you get there. So thanks for listening to my story and stay tuned to follow up emails and more information from me. And you're going to learn exactly how to break free from shyness. In fact, we're going to start with the Five Steps training program, free video coaching sessions that I'm going to start sending to you this week. So stay tuned for that and I look forward to talking to you soon.