Dating Confidence Stop Ignoring And Start Boldly Showing Up

Do you try to play it so cool with women that you end up not talking to them, not approaching them, not asking for the number, not getting dates, and not really having that many prospects in your life? If so, you're in the right place, because today we're going to talk about how to not play it cool and how to show up boldly and get way more dates than you could ever want and end up with an incredible, amazing girlfriend in your life. Foreign. Welcome to the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, the best selling author of the Solution to Social Anxiety business edition. And today we're going to talk about something that can really transform your dating life. And this show is for you. If you want to transform any area of your confidence, your dating relationships, your work, your business, your career, your finances, your income, your relationships, your social life, it all starts with confidence, because confidence is the core. It's the foundation of all our success. And let's dive into dating confidence today because here's a phenomenon that I noticed in myself for many years. And a client just told me about an experience he had that just brought me back. And I was like, I used to do this all the time. So he is walking out of a restaurant or something, and there's a woman that he knows from somewhere else that he's seen before. They may have even known each other's names or something. There was some connection there. And. But he hadn't really talked to her, he hadn't really flirted with her, he hadn't asked her out, anything like that. And he saw her and he's very attracted to her. And he's single, wants to meet someone. Perfect situation, right? So here's what he does. He walks out, she sees her, they make eye contact for a second. He looks the other way, he kind of walks the other way. He plays it super cool and then doesn't talk to her. Have you ever done that? I used to do that all the time. Here was my thinking, it was like, ooh, there's a very attractive woman. I don't want to seem too desperate or eager. I want to play it cool. So I'm going to not look at her, not interact with her, and just hang out and pretend like I'm indifferent to her. Have you ever done that? What? It's insanity, right? I mean, there's someone that you don't really care about, you're not that attracted to, and you'll be like, hey, what's up? Yeah. And you'll talk to them for a few minutes. And then there's someone you actually really do want to talk to, you do want to date, and you're like, no, don't look at me. And we tell ourselves we're playing it cool. We're telling ourselves we don't want to come across as desperate. But you know what it really is? You probably can guess it. It's fear. We're just scared. We're scared of putting ourselves out there. We're scared of getting rejected. We're scared that we're going to face that it means that we're not good enough for her. And none of that is true. The truth is that we just want to show up boldly. So the woman that you're drawn to, you want to go interact with her more. You want to look at her. And when you come out of that restaurant and you see her, you want to be like. And then walk right towards her. Hey there. How's it going? Now people are like, well, I don't want to look at her too much. The only time it is counterproductive to look at her a lot is if you're doing this. She's over there, and you're just like. And then she looks over at you and you're like. And then. And then she looks back and you. Away from you again, and you're like. You've ever done that? And every time she looks at you, you're like. And we're just doing this weird. I don't know what we're doing there, but it's not going to work. And it can creep her out. So it's fine to look at her a lot and then just go talk to her. Sooner the better. And I mean, watch. There's a great movie called Solaris, and it's a really interesting movie. The book, terrible Rare Instance, where the book is actually worse than the movie. But the movie, phenomenal. George Clooney and I don't know the actress's name, but they have this scene where they kind of see each other a few times throughout the day in New York City. And it's just powerful. The eye contact that he makes with her. And he looks at her a lot. And it can demonstrate our interest. And it's powerful and it's not desperate or weird or creepy. See how he does it? You can do that, too, if you show up boldly. So when there's a woman that you're attracted to, show it, show up more, interact with her, talk with her, ask her out, show. And this is this idea that somehow we're going to come across as too neat or desperate is not the case. I mean, we got to show up more fully. We got to ask for what we want. It lets her know that we're interested in her. It can excite her, especially if you're strong and firm and you're not apologetic about it. That's what she wants. So the next time you see that attractive woman, instead of looking away and trying to play it so cool that she's going to come talk to you. I don't know about you, but that never really worked for me. And I tried that strategy for a good eight years. Didn't work. It's got a 0.3% success rate by my calculations. Why not increase that? So just be bold. Step up if you got a bunch of fears about it. Watch a lot of these other episodes to overcome your fear of rejection. Check out my podcast Shrink for the shy guy@shrinkforthshyguy.com or better yet, go to 30daystodatingmastery.com and get my dating program that will help you break through all of this stuff and help you break through your fear and give you all the strategies and tools you need to get to the next level and really handle your dating life once and for all. So you can just see her, boom. Walk towards her, talk to her, have a great conversation, leave with her number or not. And it's no big deal because you say, okay, she didn't want to, she's not available, whatever, who's next? And you don't go home and beat yourself up for five days and five years about it. That's what this program 30 Days to Dating Mastery is about. And that's what you can get to. So check that out if you want. Or check out other episodes of the show. They should be popping up somewhere around me. You can click on those and watch future episodes until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.