Dr. Aziz offers two brief strategies to reduce the guilt of saying no: (1) reframe saying no as saying yes to your own needs and priorities, and (2) recognize that you are not the only source of support — others can find alternative people or resources. The advice frames boundary-setting as healthy for relationships and self-care.
There are two secrets to eliminate the guilt after saying no. That's probably the biggest thing that stops you from saying no in your life is oh, I don't want to hurt the person, I don't want to let them down, I'm going to feel so bad. And then you end up saying yes even though it's not good for you. So here's what you need to do. First, realize that when you say no to someone else, you're actually saying yes to yourself. Yes to what I need, yes to where I want to put my time and energy. And that's not a bad thing. That's actually quite healthy for relationships. Number two, you are not the only source for other people in life. They can find other ways to meet their needs socially, connection, support, whatever is they're asking asking you for. When you say no, they will be able to find someone else.
