Decide To Be On Your Own Side - 5 Elements of Self Esteem (1 of 5) | Dr. Aziz - Confidence Coach

What if you were on your own side no matter what? Whether you made a mistake or you failed or something didn't go your way or you got rejected, you were always on your own side, always compassionate with yourself, always kind, your own best friend. What would your life be like? Well, stay tuned because in this episode we're going to talk exactly about how to make that a reality for you in your life. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, best selling author and the founder of the center for Social Confidence. And in this episode we're going to be getting to the first of a five part series that's all about self esteem. Five elements of self esteem. And I've been getting a lot of questions and a lot of stuff that's been coming up in my mastermind program about self esteem. And I wanted to share the best, hottest, newest, cutting edge stuff that's coming out of that program and share it with you now for free. So self esteem, I don't probably need to go on about why that's important, but it's basically how you see yourself and how you feel towards yourself. Do you like yourself? Do you imagine that others are going to think that you are valuable and worthwhile? And that affects everything. How you show up in life, how you look people in the eye, how you move, how you use your body, how expressive you are, what you say and what what you don't say. Whether you show up boldly and powerfully or timidly and meekly. And then all the results that you want in your life, in your business, in your career, whether you get promoted or not, or ignored or hired or not, get a date or not, find love and sustain it or not. All of that relates to your self esteem. Extremely important. And in this first video about self esteem, we're going to be talking about decide. So these are the five elements. The first one decided. Decide to be on your own side no matter what. Decide it. Just decide it right now as you're watching this video here with me, I'm just going to decide to be on my own side no matter what. Now with any commitment, just like if you decided you're going to be healthy or decided I'm going to do this new diet or I decided I'm going to figure this out or I decided I'm going to start my own business. You know those moments of inspiration where you just decide you're going to do something. I've decided I'm going to learn how to windsurf or Whatever it is for you, right, you decided it. And then, damn, three years later you're like flying off a cliff doing some sort of crazy windsurfing or whatever that is for you. Learn how to play chess, I don't know, right? So you decide it and then it becomes reality. That's the first step, always. And when we decide, we don't have to know all the ins and outs and all the roads ahead. You don't have to know the entire process for months or years. You just decide in the moment. You, this is what I want to do, you know, I want to be healthy, I want to look great, I want to be in great shape. Then you figure out all the stuff about your nutrition and your macronutrients and all that stuff, right? But in the beginning it's just I want that. And the key to building self esteem is that first decision to be on my own side no matter what. So when you test out that decision in yourself, what do you notice what happens? Do you resist that at all? Is there any pushback to deciding to be on your own side no matter what? Other than I don't know how to? That's okay, we'll help you with the how. But the first things first is you decide to do it. So when you do that, what happens? Are you on board or are you fighting it? And if you're fighting it, you might want to slow down and look out for why. What am I telling myself will happen if I'm on my own side or you know, something bad going to happen? Is it dangerous? Am I going to be an egomaniac? Am I going to lose friends and become a monster? Self absorbed, self indulgent, hedonistic beast? What is the story that you're telling yourself? Because whatever you're telling yourself, well, I don't know exactly what you're telling yourself, but if it's something negative, I'm telling you it's not true. Because the truth is, the more on your own side you are, the better of a human you become. The more loving you become, the more powerful you become, the more generous you become, the more giving and just aware of the world you become. So you can actually bring more and more value. The more you're on your own side because you're not. In fact, when we're not on our own side, we become extremely self absorbed, don't we? Right? Like what do they think of me? Did I get rejected there? I'm not doing this. Good enough. Me, me, me. Right? That's what happens when we're not on our own side, become really focused on ourselves. And when we're on our own side, we can focus outward and just be a better impact in the world. That's what we're here to do. So making that decision, I want to do something that's going to help you do that today, right? In this video, I'd like you to just for a moment, imagine it's 10 years in the future from whenever you're watching this. Just add 10 years, add a decade to the year right now. And then imagine 10 more years of beating yourself up, of criticizing yourself, of getting so frustrated and angry at yourself when you make a mistake. What's wrong with you? Fuck. You know, yelling at yourself in your head, telling yourself that people there think you're stupid. And of course they do, because you are. 10 years of that. Can you imagine that? Where would you be in 10 years of just being against yourself, at odds with yourself, dissatisfied with who you are no matter what you do and how much you achieve, Critic just keeps telling you that it's not enough and you believe it for 10 years. Can you get a sense of that? If it's hurting right now, good. Because it's painful to live a life like that. In fact, what pain do you experience? What do you miss out on? What love do you block and not let in because your critic is telling you that you don't deserve it? What great things that you know you're capable of in your potential, do you not? Do you tell yourself you wouldn't be able to do it anyway? What people have you pulled back from where you could have had an amazing connection, opportunity, growth, but you felt rejected and you attacked yourself and you quit. What is your life like in 10 years if you've just been against yourself? Good. And then flip it. Take a deep breath in through your nose and let it out through your mouth. And now imagine 10 years from now where you've been on your own side. Sure, it might have taken you a little while to figure it out. Couple months, couple years. You're getting better at it every day and figuring it out piece by piece by piece. And now it's ten years from now. And you are a master of being on your own side no matter what. You make a mistake, you get rejected, you fail, you always find a way to get back on your own side. Treat yourself with respect, with love, with patience, with compassion. You honor who you are. You give yourself tons of empathy, have tons of perspective. You keep awareness of who you are and your value and what you bring to the world. And you like who you are. You appreciate who you are. You are amazed at who you have become and what you're still yet to become and what you're doing in the world, what you're creating in the world, what you're giving in the world. And you're loving yourself all the way. Even with your mistakes, even with your flaws. Can you imagine what your life would be like if you were 100% on your own side, no matter what? Good. Good. And if that feels a hell of a lot better, then what I'd like you to do right now with me in this moment is to decide that you're going to be on your own side no matter what. You'll figure out the how later. We got some more videos coming up. In the self esteem training, I'm going to teach you more powerful ways. The elements of self esteem. Got my program, the confidence code which is a deep dive into self esteem. You got tons and millions of books. Got a Nathaniel Brandon one here, the five pillars, the six pillars. There's an extra pillar. I must not finish that one of self esteem. There is so much that you can do to build this and master this. But it all comes from a decision. Not from here, but from here. To be on your own side no matter what. So share below in the comments. What's your decision? What have you decided for you for the rest of your life? For the next 10 years, whatever it is. Okay. Until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.