Dr. Aziz warns that comparing yourself to others — and especially to an internalized perfectionistic ideal — undermines confidence and wellbeing. He argues that the antidote is deep self-acceptance: by fully accepting who and where you are, you can access connection, love, and success without becoming someone else.
Comparing yourself to others kills your confidence. You're gonna want to do this instead. In fact, you know what's actually worse than comparing yourself to others? Comparing yourself to some idea you have in your mind about how you should be, which is a super perfectionistic ideal, which is gonna make you feel bad about yourself no matter what you achieve. So what do we do instead? If comparison kills, then acceptance is the answer. Now don't roll your eyes at that one. Acceptance. Ugh. What's the real secret? No, that's the real secret. Because you think that you have to become like that other person or become like your perfectionistic, idealistic self to get what you want in life. To get the partner, to get the success, to get the love. It turns out that when you fundamentally and deeply accept who you are and where you are and accept everything in this moment as it is, you can have the love, you can have the connection that you want, you can have the partner, you can have what you really need and want, and you don't need to become anything other than who you already are.
