Dr. Aziz explains why self-worth that depends on achievements or approval keeps you anxious, and how permanent self-worth actually makes you more desirable. He uses the metaphor of a safe that only opens with the right code to show how to stop chasing external validation.
Chapters
Is your self worth permanent or conditional? What's your gut answer? That permanent or conditional? Here's what I mean. If it's conditional, it means your self worth, your sense of I am enough, I am valuable, I am good, I am okay as I am, I am lovable, I'm capable, all that. Those are different ways that point at the same thing of self worth. You probably know what I'm talking about, right? We all know that feeling of high or low self worth. That means your self worth goes up and down throughout the day or throughout the week. So something good happens. You make a sale, you achieve something, you finish a project, things go well, your self worth is high. Like I'm good, you know, you don't make the sale, you don't achieve the thing. It's down. Ah, I suck, right? I'm never gonna get this. Someone likes you, Someone says yes to you. Someone wants to go on a date with you. Someone wants to be your friend. Someone praises you and you're like, huh? Yeah. And then you don't get that much praise. You don't get that much attention. That person doesn't respond to your call. Someone actively criticizes you or doesn't like you. Oh, man, I feel so terrible. So our self worth is going up and down like a roller coaster. That's conditional self worth. And that sucks. I mean, I've been there. I know what it's like. But we want. What you and I want, my friend, is permanent self worth. Permanent Omos. In fact, that's part four in my book, On My Own side. OMOS stands for On My Own side. And Permanent Omos is part four of that book which is all about how to achieve that state of being on our own sides and feeling that stable sense of self worth. So, by the way, the book came out just two days ago. I highly recommend you get yourself a copy today. It's still available at the promotional price, the release price. So click down below to go to get the link. You can go to Amazon directly or you can go to omosbook.com o m o s book.com and we have a ton of valuable bonuses that come with the book. Videos, audio trainings, guided processes, morning rituals, a whole package of stuff, all for free. That's to supplement with what I couldn't put in the book because I couldn't have audio and video in the text of the book. And those things are going to be powerful at helping you transform because I am passionate about helping everyone be on their own sides, one person at a time. The World's going to be a better place when you get on your own side and not just. It's not a matter of you're on or you're off. It's a matter of degree. So how do you get more on your own side then more on your own side and then the highest level is permanent self worth. Permanent almost. And one of the most. And there's a ton in the book, I mean it's like 150 plus pages in part four all about it. So I can't say in this video, but one thing I will say about it is you got to look at your conditions for worth, your what I call your value equivalence. When X happens, I can feel valuable. I liken it to this. It's like your self worth is inside a safe, you know, like a lockbox, a safe. And there's a certain code you have to punch in like 12793 and then beep, beep. It opens up. But you got to type in just the exact right code. And that's how most of us are operating. Well, I got to get the sale and then I got to get that person to praise me and then I got to hit the gym and then I got to do this and I got to do that. Click. It opens for that day tomorrow it's shut again. And that's exhausting. And I'm not saying you don't want to make the sale or you don't want to progress or you don't want to go to the gym or whatever these things, but we don't want to be doing it from like the carrot of self worth. Like, oh, if I get to this, I'll be somebody, I'll be worthy. That's a hustle and that's draining and that's exhausting and it's not motivating you at the highest level. It's not giving you the juice you need to keep going to thrive and to succeed. It's giving you just enough to get by. Like conditional self worth, feeling unworthy until you achieve something that day or that month or that year in your lifetime that is like low quality fuel. We gotta up our fuel. We gotta get more and more on our own side. So making permanent self worth, permanent unconditional self worth. One of your primary focuses for this year, your primary goals is what? Something I would recommend more than anything. Because that's gonna lead to such an increase in not only how you feel and your confidence, but also the responses that you get in life. Because when someone has a high sense of self worth. They don't need to manipulate or control others in order to feel worthy. So so often we're like, I want that person to say yes to me on a date. I need this person to say yes to promoting me or to buying my thing. I need this from that person. And we feel that desperation inside, not because we're going to die if we don't get that sale or that person doesn't want to date us, but because we emotionally don't want to feel the horrible pain of unworthiness. And so what we do is we do a lot of stuff that's unaware, unconsciously trying to manipulate others. We try to look a certain way, act a certain way, hide this, don't say that, misrepresent ourselves. And it's not malicious or evil or something. It's just what we're going to do because we're kind of desperate. And when we eliminate that and let that go and say, you know what, I'm okay no matter what, whether they want to hire me here or not, I'll be okay. I'm on my own side no matter what. Instantly your anxiety goes down. And instantly what skyrockets, your desirability. People are like, ooh, what's this person got? We want it. You're hired. You know, I'll sleep with you, I'll marry you, whatever it is, right? So all good things come your way as your self worth rises. So work on permanent Omos. And the best way to do that is to get yourself a copy of on my own site available at omosbook.com, click down below to get it. And there's so much good stuff in there. And go. If you're not on my email list, there's all kinds of stuff we're doing about the book release and the launch and fun ways to win prizes and exciting stuff. So if you're not on that, go to SocialConfidenceCenter.com that's SocialConfidenceCenter.com Sign up to get my ebook and you'll be on my email list and you'll hear about all the goodies we got coming your way. So I'm excited to share more about this journey of getting on your own side. I'd love to hear your journey with it. Share down below in the comments. And until we speak again, may I have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.
