Dr. Aziz argues confidence and social skill are learnable abilities, not traits you're born with. Most people want results without putting in the practice, like a five-year-old playing Stratego. He offers Confidence University and other programs to help you build these skills through deliberate work.
Are you approaching life like a five year old? Now, before you think that's a condescending statement, let me explain. We all do it. I do it, you do it. And here's what I mean. So, yeah, just this morning I was playing Stratego with my two kids. Well, actually, I sort of set up the game and then they play each other. And I help out my younger son because my older son here, Zaim, he's seven and he's super into strategy games. He learned how to play magic when he was five years old, Magic the Gathering, because I taught him greatest game of all time. And this is my younger son, Arman. He chopped off all his hair. Well, we did at his request. So he doesn't look like that anymore. But, you know, Zaim's got two years older on him and he's got a lot of strategy game experience. So he can just kind of crush him in Stratego. If you've never played Stratego, it's just a little board game where you try to capture that person's flag and you have an army of numbers. The higher the number, the stronger they are in the new version of Stratego, if you're not familiar with that in any case. So they play. And inevitably, Zaim beats Arman, the seven year old beats the five year old. And you know, this morning. So sometimes Armand is losing. He's like, dad, come help me out. So I come in there and I try to help him out and I tell him which moves to do and then he'll start to win. And then when I leave, he loses again. And so this morning he was like, so upset. He's like, come back and help. And I was like, I gotta get to work. But, you know, I just helped you earlier. And he's like, I'm losing again. I don't want to play this game. I'm losing. It's so. I'm like, I get it, I get it. You know, you don't like to lose. It's hard to lose sometimes. I said, you know, I think I could help you win more if you wanted to. And he's like, wow, how? And I was like, well, when we lose, we can learn. And if you want to win, you need to play the game differently than you do. Because I've watched you when you play, and there's certain ways that you play that are going to lead probably to you losing most of the time. And he's like, well, I don't. No, I don't want to. I was like, okay, well, when he's ready, I'll teach him. And I thought, isn't that interesting? Do we approach that life that way? In some areas, like winning would be getting the result that you want and you're not getting the result that you want, but then you're not willing to learn, right? It's like I want to have a certain, this happens all the time with people's bodies, right? Like they want to have a certain body, but there's not this sort of willingness to learn exactly how to do it. Or I want to be more confident in this situation, but I don't really, I don't really want to learn how to do that because confidence is skill. You can learn it, I can teach you. I'm teaching you right now, right? And it's like you can learn it. You want to be more socially skilled, you want to join into conversations. I have a whole event that I do three days where we just go into conversation. Mastery, how to talk to anyone from a place of ease and comfort and confidence. You know, in my course, Confidence University, I have an entire program, entire set of lessons, course dedicated to social mastery, how to comfortably talk to anyone, be in your own skin with confidence. Right? So you could totally learn these things, but we're like, no, I don't want to learn that stuff. Just give me the result, you know, and that's, that's like the five year old in us. I just want it, I don't want to have to learn it or it's too hard. And so just notice where you're doing that. And I've definitely, I do that in places. So this is no judgment here. This. We just want to look and be honest with ourselves and say, where am I wanting the result without actually learning how to do it. And maybe you're telling yourself a story like I can't do it or it's impossible or I've tried stuff before or I can't learn it or there's something wrong with me so I'm not able to do it. And that is complete and total bs. The truth is, every problem has a solution. Anything you want to be able to do, you can learn how to do. It's just a matter of putting in the focus and the energy and learning. And oftentimes I see this all the time with people when it comes to more social confidence and stuff. They're sort of like, I'm not getting the result that I want. And I, but I don't really want to learn. And I was like, well, what have you tried what have you done? They're like, well, I watched videos and I read books. Okay, what else? I did some stuff out of the books. Okay, great. What did you do? How did it go? And it's like, you know, they tried some stuff and we kind of like, we delude ourselves. We make up a story, we say something. Oh, I try. I did so much stuff. And when we really break it down, you know, one of my books might have said, hey, try this once a day for 30 days. And someone did it for, like, three days. Right. So what is it actually going to take? Do you really want to win at Stratego? Well, I can show you how if you want. And to find out more, check out confidenceuniversity.com Go to the Confidence University. If that's too. That's a mouthful to spell, then just go to draziz.coM-R-A z I z.com youm can find about everything I got. My books, my programs, everything. I'm here to teach you. I'm here to help you. If you want to learn not only confidence, but how to play Stratego really well or Magic the Gathering, I happen to be, well, mediocrely skilled at that. All right, until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
