Doubtless

Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy. This is the show for you. If you are sick and tired of being held back by fear, self doubt, social anxiety, shyness, anything that's stopping you from you being you. I'm going to share the most powerful tools and resources that I've been discovering over the last 15 years on my journey to eradicate social anxiety and instill confidence first in myself and then in every single person that I meet on my journey. You're going to learn these tools and how to apply them in your life now so that you can become the most free, powerful, bold, authentic version of you. Hey, welcome to today's episode of the show. Today we're going to talk about being doubtless. This is one of my favorite topics, so I'm excited to share it with you today. And by the end of this, you're gonna be able to use this for confidence in any area of life. Think about this as like the top of the pyramid and it trickles down. So anywhere you want confidence, your social life, your dating life, your relationships at work, assertiveness, body language, making eye contact, being more boldly yourself, being more expressive, being funnier, being less filtered by all of it is going to be affected by this. So what is the this that I'm talking about? And if you heard a little crinkling in the background, you're going to find out what that is in just a minute. And if you didn't, there's a little crinkling in the background and there might be during the recording of this episode. And I'll explain why in a minute. And it relates to being doubtless. So let's dig in right now. By the way, if you have not gone to check out the live events page for my website, go there now. Go to SocialConfidenceCenter.com and then check out the live events. We have another live event coming up called Unlimited Dating and Relationship Confidence. That's in October. That's going to be amazing. I want to see you there. You can also go to shrinkforthshyguy.com and on the side there, there's a link to that because that event, it's still the early bird right now. And coming to that is going to be transformative for your dating life. Your. Your sense of romantic confidence. You're feeling like you're lovable and worthy and desirable man. There's so much wounding and pain around this and we're gonna liberate that so you can know deep down that of course someone would benefit from having you in Their life. Of course you're dateable. Of course you're beautiful. Of course someone will want to spend their life with you. And then what do you think your results are when you approach dating with that kind of confidence? That's right. So go check that out now. I'd love to see you there and join and do that experience with you. Have that experience. Do that. We're gonna do that together, you and me. Okay, now let's talk about doubtless. So doubtless is a term to me that I love, taking terms and loading them with more and more and more meaning, so that when you hear the term, all of a sudden, boom, it triggers a bunch inside of you. This has already happened with, say the name of one of your best friends, you know, so let's say one of your best friends is named Jeff. And so you hear the name, someone says, jeff, and you're gonna think of that person right away. And not only are you gonna think of that person, you're gonna be like, you love Jeff, and so you met someone else named Jeff. There might be a little bit of a transfer over of like, oh, Jeff sounds like a good guy, right? Cause you love this other Jeff. Another thing might be something like a sport that you really love, like snowboarding or something like that. So when someone says the word snowboarding, you have all this meaning associated to it. So I love doing that. I did that with the word omos, which stands for what if you don't know right now, ah. Omos is on my own side. On my own side, no matter what. That's my way of capturing how to never turn on yourself, how to stop berating yourself, stop attacking yourself, and start loving yourself right now, unconditionally. That's omos, Another term, though, that I've been loading with meaning recently. There's more of that crinkling. You hear it? What's happening? What is that? It's a cliffhanger. I'll tell you in a minute. Or a open loop, I should say. So Doubtless is a term I've been loading with meaning. Doubtless is a state of being of total faith and certainty. Now, in what, though? Now you could be doubtless in yourself, right? Maybe you'd say, I can handle anything that life comes, anything life brings me, I'll be able to handle it. You know, if there's a challenge, I can handle it. You know Vanilla Ice from Ice Ice, baby, you got a problem, I'll solve it. That's doubtless in himself, right? So you could be doubtless at work like, hey, anything that happens, I can solve it. You could be doubtless in a relationship. Like, no matter what happens, we're gonna work through it. We got this. That means you're not only being doubtless in yourself, who are you being doubtless in? That's right, your partner. You're being doubtless in your partner, right? Cause you're saying, no matter what happens, we got this. So the core level of total faith and certainty is in yourself. The next level is gonna be total faith and certainty in someone else. Right? Because you, you could have total faith and certainty. Like I could handle anything that happens, which might set you up to feel more confident, but it might not make you more confident in love and relationships. It might make you a little bit more confident because you're like, even if they break up with me, I can handle it. But it's still like if you don't have total faith in them, it's going to be hard to really go as deep as you want and open your heart, right? So you're going to kind of be like, I'll keep my distance or not fully open up. And so that next level of doubtlessness is have total faith and trust certainty in someone else. And obviously you choose those people. You don't have to have that with every human you meet. Maybe someone's not trustworthy, but the people that you're going to partner with in business, the person you're going to date, the people you're going to fall in love with and develop a long life relationship with, those people you want to choose to be doubtless in those relationships. Now what I found is that there is a limit to these two levels. Each one that you achieve and develop in yourself is going to boost your confidence like crazy. In fact, that's the level that I started when I first began building my confidence. It was all about how do I feel confident in myself, how do I have self confidence, feel like I'm worthy, I can go out there and do what I want. A lot of self efficacy and self esteem and all that. Then the next level was like, well, great, I feel more confident, but how do I really trust other people and develop deep relationships? Then I started to do that and that, you know, I'm summarizing here. These things took many years. I've learned how to condense it for people now and that's what we do through all my trainings. If you haven't been through Confidence University, you can condense, you know, a decade and a half of my life down into one year of Training and you want to go even further. We have the unstoppable confidence mastermind. And that's an in person, well, remote. We work with people from all over the country and world, but we come together at the live events and retreats and then have these weekly calls with each other. And. And that is like the man. You want to take all of my experience and just press the turbo button on your own growth. That's the way to do that. But I realize though that there's a limit to these two. And there's a higher level of doubtless that if you want the highest levels of confidence you must have. And what is that? Well, saying I can handle whatever happens is, Might give you a sense of security, but it also can give you maybe a sense of anxiety or doubt still, right? Because you still have to make choices. So should I choose A or should I choose B? I don't know. I don't want to choose wrong. So even though you know you can handle it, if B or A doesn't go the way you want, there's still a little bit of anxiety there, right? I'm not sure. And what is anxiety? Anxiety is the opposite of confidence. It's uncertainty, it's hesitation, it's doubt. And when we're doubting, we're afraid. We don't know. We might hesitate, we might avoid, we might stall the decision, we might go more slowly, we might put our guard up, we might try to protect ourselves. Even though we know we can handle it on one level, we still don't want that pain. So the next level of doubtlessness, maybe you can guess it is actually doubtlessness in something bigger than yourself. And so the core decision that I made that really transformed things in my life was doubtless to me means I live. It's really. Here's the full version of it. I decide to live with total faith and certainty that I am guided and held in life and by extension, so is everyone else, whether they know it or not. I decide to live with total faith and certainty that I am guided and held in life no matter what. And there's more to it. But that's the first part. Let's break that down for a minute. Because the beginning of that statement is that took me a while to learn because I said, you know, I want to feel confident no matter what. I want to feel confident when things go my way and when things don't go my way. Because how much of life is things going the way you want instantly, right? It's impossible. Especially if you're Growing and taking risks and trying new things and doing what I call living in the center of the river, which is you're not stagnant on the side in the mud, where your life, you know, whether it's your love life, your career is barely moving, barely progressing, barely evolving because you're holding yourself back. You're not just kind of on the side of the river, bouncing in the rocks, moving a little bit and then going off to the edge. I'm talking about life in the center of the river, where it goes fast and it's exciting and it's fun, and then there's rapids and you fall down a little waterfall, and then there's a little calm portion for a little while. I seem to not have too many of those because I like to go down a lot of waterfalls in my life. Hence the crinkling, which I'll talk about in a minute. No, I haven't forgotten. Don't worry. Maybe you have. But now I reminded you again. What was that crinkling? What was that? Yeah, it was doubtless, baby. So life in the center of the river. I realized I'm still anxious. I'm still anxious. Even though I have faith that I can handle anything that happens to me, and I have faith in the other people in my life, I'm still anxious. Is this going to go the way that I want? What if I never achieve that? What if there's a lot of pain in the future for me. Ah, right. What ifs, what ifs? Doubt about the future, doubt about your choices. And that's when I. And then. So I was trying to, you know, feel guided. I want to feel more guided. I want to feel held. This is like a spiritual level of confidence, whatever that is for you. This isn't about a religion or a specific path. This is like, whatever helps you feel trust in something greater. And so for me, that's a sense of spirituality, connection with something greater. Sometimes I call the universe the field of infinite potential. Sometimes, God. I had to do some healing for me to be able to use that word because I didn't like it growing up, But I wanted to have that, I wanted to feel that, but I didn't. So I choose from a place of like, oh, I think I'm guided here. But then I'd be like, am I really guided? I don't know. Am I just making this up? And if you question anything, you start to feel uncertain about it. You start to feel doubt. And if you're feeling that doubt, you feel uncertainty, and then you feel hesitation. And then you're less likely to take action. You're less likely to trust. You're less likely to do anything. So that was the biggest turning point for me. Was when I realized. And, oh, man, I read everything. I'm a reader, right? So I was reading all kinds of books about spirituality. And then all kinds of books about the science of spirituality and quantum physics, right? Because of my upbringing in a pretty rational, scientific household. Which was sort of spiritless, not really spiritual in any direct way. We kind of. It was like, intellect was king in my household. And so I'm, like, trying to find that through studying enough. And I realized, though, like, no matter what I studied. There was that doubt that was still there. And I read fascinating stuff by Lynne McTaggart. A book called the Field. All kinds of quantum research around how much is going on that we don't understand. And then my history in studying psychology and neuroscience. And the depth of the subconscious or unconscious mind. And how much more we're controlled by that than our conscious mind. And I knew all this stuff. But no matter what, it didn't sink in until I made one decision. And that decision was to be doubtless. The decision was to have total faith. To decide to live with total faith and certainty that I am guided. And what I did one day is I got fully intense in my body. And I realized, like, no matter. There's no amount of thinking or studying or researching or anything that's going to make it for me. I need to decide this. And I did. I made this clear decision. And I'm currently working. Well, I'm finishing up almost right now. But the next book is going to be called Doubtless. And I'm going to talk about that. Making a clear, firm decision to be that way. What would your life be like if you made a powerful decision? Well, and maybe if you're not. Maybe you're ready for that third level of doubtlessness. Total faith and certainty that you're guided and held. Maybe you're not there. Maybe you're like, I don't know. I don't want to subscribe to any belief like that. In which case I would say, why not? Like, what's the downside? You know? I mean, like, I'm going to be delusional. I'm going to do all kinds of crazy shit. It's like, really? Because to me, guided means, like, there's this wisdom. There's this loving force. If you want to know what you know. A great understanding of God. Especially if you grew up with, like, the God in Heaven, the God as punisher, the God as judger, which is pretty common in a lot of the monotheistic religions. Think of it. Here's a whole different model of God. God is like a force. God is the force that connects all things. God is in all things. God is like, think about, like electricity or magnetism, but way more comprehensive, way more intelligent in a way. Just like think about the intelligence of what it takes for one cell from a man and one cell from a woman to connect and grow a human to within, what is it, a couple weeks, there's a heartbeat, and then those heartbeats and then it starts to grow and you have this developing body and this being and everything is happening with no conscious thought, no planning whatsoever. It's the same intelligence that makes your heart beat every day, that makes you just say, I want to lift my hand and your arm's moving up, digest your food. I mean, everything is operating by this intelligence that's moving through us. It's way more intelligent than our rational intellectual mind, conscious mind. And it goes beyond us though, right? It's in us and through us. And it also makes grass grow and planets come together through gravity and other forces that we might not understand yet. And it's this powerful force that connects all things. And here's the thing, that force, and this is shared across almost everyone who has near death experiences. And if you ever study that stuff. But you should listen to a book called Dying to Be Me by Anita Moorjani. And that's just one account. It's a beautiful story though, about this woman who has terminal cancer and is in the hospital to die. She has cancers the size of grapefruit, tumors the size of grapefruits all over her body. And she dies and has this. Well, I guess it's a near death experiment, experiment experience because she dies and she comes back. But when she, she decides to come back after she experiences this amazing connection with this divine energy and her deceased father and other people, and she decides to come back. And when she decides to come back, her body heals virtually instantly and the tumors dissolve. And the doctors there are like, what? This can't be happening. So they keep giving her chemo drugs even though the sign, all signs are showing that the cancer is abating. And then all signs show it's gone. I think it was within a week, it was totally gone. And it blew their concept of reality because they're like, first of all, this shouldn't happen. Secondly, it shouldn't happen this fast. And so they kept giving her chemo drugs. And she fought them at first and eventually just surrendered and took them even though she knew she didn't need them because she had this experience. But unfortunately, in a lot of the Western medical sciences there is no space for spirituality. There is no space for a near death experience. That's just your brain freaking out and hallucinating is sort of the standard model story or paradigm there. In any case, when people have these near death experiences, Anita and hundreds of others, they report that there's this love that they connect with that is beyond any love they've ever felt, beyond any words they could ever describe. This love that just envelops them and it is 100% unconditional. In fact, there's this near death experience account I was reading of this woman and she's feeling that love and like that she's sort of communicating with whatever's there, that force. And she says, like this love is for me. And it's like there's force, response, this love is for everyone. And then she says in her mind, even Hitler. And then she says, I didn't even need a response because I knew when I asked the question that it was a yes. Because this love is just completely unconditional. It's beyond human sort of ideas of right and wrong. So that is a different conception of God. It's this force and in it is love. And I think wisdom and goodness and wanting to support life and support connection and love and you can plug into this force. And so for me, I think this force is going to guide me to do better things. And, and I know this from my own personal experience. Have you ever had a time in your life where you just felt you were guided and you might not have used that word? Maybe you said like, I'm on a roll or I'm in flow or things are just coming my way or I'm on a streak. But did you feel how things were just coming into place for you? What was happening there? Were you guided? Was that grace? So I made this decision and feel completely different after doing it. Now let's rewind a little bit. When I was wanting to live doubtless, but hadn't made the decision. So what, you know, have you experienced that where you're kind of trying something else out and you're on and then off and on and off. And so I started having these experiences more and more where I was living. It's like, it's like being on a skateboard or something or a bike when you're a little kid and you can get it for a little while and then you fall. And that's what I was like. I can get on this doubtless bike for a little while and I'm going and I'm going and then I fall. And so I had this period where I was on it and it was amazing. Things were just happening. I was like in this, what I call guided state of flow. And I would be operating that way at work, I'd be operating that way and making decisions. I'd be operating that way even, like day to day, what I did with my time. And it felt so good to be in that current. And then something happened. So it was guiding me all these work decisions and other things. But then I got a clear signal. Clear signal to get a dog. Oh, yes, you heard me right. The guidance inside, which came to me in the sense of images, it came to my wife in dreams, was get a dog now. This is not new. We considered it two years ago and were inches from pulling the trigger on doing it. We had a dog picked out from a litter. We put a deposit down. We were gonna go. I'm. Actually, we hadn't picked the dog out yet, but we chosen a litter, we put the deposit down and we were gonna go drive there the next day to pick out a labradoodle. And my younger son at the time was a year and a half, My older son was three and a half. And Candice and I were laying in bed the day before we were gonna do it, talking to bed at night after the boys were asleep. And we were talking about the nuances. We'd read some books about training and watched some videos. And we were looking at each other and we're just like, it's too much. What are we doing? Like, Arman, our year and a half year old is still in diapers. We're still cleaning up his poop, and now we're gonna clean up dog poop. And we were totally overwhelmed. So we pulled the plug and we said, no, we can't do it. And then flash forward two years later, out of the blue, it happened. Like I had this. We hadn't talked about it. I mean, it was two years ago. We hadn't talked about it in a long time. I mean, ever really since that time. We weren't like, oh, pretty soon we're going to do it. It was just not a conversation. In fact, if anything, you hear that crinkling. Now, who do you think that is? What do you think that is? We'll explain in a minute. You probably can already guess. So we are. The crinkling distracts me though, doesn't it? We had this. We hadn't talked about it. If anything, our pendulum had kind of swung, and it was like, dogs. Dogs are just like poopy, poopy poopers. Who wants a dog? Pheasant. You know, have you ever done that where you really want something and then it feels like it's too much, you can't get it or whatever, and you're like, ah, it's sour grapes, right? Like, I didn't want that anyway. It's just a waste of my time. So I decided to table it, right? And then flash forward two years later. I'm running through the park one morning, and I get this, like, really strong sense. It's like a visual sense and a feeling sense of a dog. And I'm running with a dog. And I was like, whoa, that was weird. And then later that day, I actually had a date with Candace. We have a date on Sunday afternoons. And so we were on our date and I said, hey, I was running and I had this sense of a dog. And she's like, wow, really? I had a dream last night that we had a dog. I said, really? She's like, yeah. I didn't even think about it until you said that. I was like, huh. What do you think that is? Are we guided? So we started to talk about it and we thought, you know, it feels like we feel. Really? So how do you know if you're guided, right? How do you know if it's just like, impulse or desire? That's, you know, and even that. Why is desire bad? Right? But, you know, I don't know. You want the donut, you want the dopamine, you want the porn. You're like, I was guided, you know, I don't know. Probably not, right? That's just your body wanting something. But. But maybe. Who knows? I don't know. But here are some methods I use. One is guidance makes me feel lighter in my heart. Like, there's an expansion feeling in my upper chest. I want to stand taller. I feel lighter. I feel more alive. I feel more joyous. There's a hell yes inside of me. And we have that with a dog. You can also verify this with something called muscle testing. Applied kinesiology is what it's called. You can look that up online. Although, go, listen. Learn about it from David Hawkins, who's a fantastic person you could look up on YouTube. David Hawkins, Muscle testing. You can also look up other people. If you go to Wikipedia, it's gonna say, that it's a pseudoscience and it's total bullshit, and there's sort of a skeptic description of it, but that's like. That's a whole other conversation. I find it extremely valuable, and I use it in my life all the time. So you don't have to use that one if you don't want it. But you gotta develop your methods to tune in and say, how am I guided? What's guiding me? So here's the thing. Life in the center of the river, that was on a Sunday. On Monday, I get to work, and I can't even, like, focus on my projects. It's just like this, boom, dog, dog, dog. And here's how I think you also know you're guided is when you move towards something, all the doors are just open. Now, you know, you could also be guided to have challenges and need to face them and overcome that as part of the guiding process. But sometimes it's like all open doors. Basically, I started looking into dogs that are good for kids. Found Cavalier King Charles. King Cavalier. No. What is it? Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. That's what they were called. These cute little dogs. You can look them up online. Absolutely adorable. And I was like, that's it. And I messaged Candice, and she's like, yeah. And all of a sudden, before we knew it, I'd found someone. This was within three days. And then like, yeah, we have space. Come, come drive. Check out the pups tomorrow. I was like, oh, my God. So we went down there, and we're looking at the pups, and we did some research, like, find the 1, not the 2, dominant 1, and not the 2. Not the runt or the alpha, basically, because both have their challenges. Find the ones in the middle. So there's two puppies in the middle. It's a litter of four, and there's two puppies in the middle, two boys. And I'm holding one, and Candace is holding the other. And she goes. She looks at me. We're sitting in this woman's house petting these, like, adorable little dogs. And she looks at me and she goes, what about two? No, no, no. That's crazy. That's crazy. And I say, what is it? Let's ask her. So we ask her, and she's like, yeah, you can do that if you want. And, you know, then we're on the car ride home. We told her we'd decide, right? And we're on the car ride home, and it's like, oh, my God, that's terrible. I Mean, puppies gonna be a lot of work. Two puppies, as we researched online, is a shit ton of crazy work. It's. It's just a ton of work to raise puppies, two of them at the same time, and it's just a big deal. And so in the past, my mind would have said, oh, my gosh, no way, no way, no way. That's way too hard. Too much work, too hard, too much discomfort. That's what it is, right? It's gonna be too uncomfortable. And so my mind was saying, but my heart was, like, overpowered. It was so much stronger than my mind. And that's what I found as I've decided to live guided. I mean, have you ever heard the phrase live from your heart or be guided from your heart or listen to the guidance of your heart? I mean, I really think that's where we feel this divine energy is from our hearts. So I was tuned into it and it felt so absolutely strong. And we sat with it for a little bit, and then I was like, yeah, let's do it. So we decided to move forward with the two puppy plan, and it was amazing. And then we got the puppies and it was amazing. They were so freaking soft and adorable. And me and Candace had some time, the boys were with grandparents, so we could go get them and bring them back. It was like an hour away to get there and stop along the way and have them use the bathroom. And we're just like in total awe. These little beings, right? Oh, my gosh, they're part of our family now. And then we get home, have this blissful space. It's really calm, everything's great. And then our boys get home, boom, boom, boom. They're three and a half and five and a half now, and it's like they know the puppies. We talked about it, of course, but, you know, it's one thing to know it intellectually, it's another thing to be there with the puppies. And they did not expect the feelings that would be induced in them from being around puppies. I mean, puppies make people go crazy, right? And so puppies make us want to get two of them. When we came in there for one puppies, we had our puppies. And we were walking down the street to this little puppy social on Alberta street near my house. And Candice and I were each carrying one in our arms. This is when they were about 10, 11 weeks old, right? So like two and a half, almost three months. And we're walking down these little. They're almost like, toy dogs, right? They're so small. And people like, everyone's freaking out. I've done thousands of social experiments. You know, friendly greetings, high fives, everything you can imagine. You will not get more of a crazy, positive response from people than if you're carrying an adorable puppy. I mean, people are saying, like, aw, I'm talking about, like, grown men, like, bodybuilder guys. Like, people are, like, nudging their people. They're with like, hey, did you see those puppies? Go look at those puppies. You know, old ladies are coming up to us being like, how old are they? And I'm like, oh, 11 weeks. And then her friend who's standing next to her who just heard it, says, how old are they? Because they don't know what to say. They just want to keep talking to you. We're standing at a street corner, and there's a car turning right. And in the passenger side of the car, the person had their window down. And as the car's turning, she leans her head out the window and goes, puppies. I mean, people go crazy. So sure enough, my boys go crazy. They can't contain themselves. They want to hold them, they want to grab them, they want to squeeze them. And the puppies are like, ba. You know? And then we're like, oh, God, they're going to traumatize their puppies. We're going to have these nervous, anxious dogs, right? And it is just. I mean, it's ground zero, you know, it's like going back to when we had Armand, my second son, when he was first born. It's like, oh, my God, I figured out how to take care of one kid. I'm not going to take care of two. How do I even do this? How do I even go to the bathroom? When do I shower, right? So imagine that. But now you're watching out for four beings. And we had this added stress of, like, if something happens to the puppies, like, what if he actually hurts one of them? What if he kicks one of them? And that's especially Armand, because, you know, he's three and a half. His empathy centers are intermittent at best. They're just developing, right? Little kids don't have a theory of mind and a sense of feeling others feelings accurately. Totally. Yet. So he sort of, like, sometimes wants to do the thing that feels good to them and sometimes wants to do something that really upsets them. And he doesn't really get it, although he is now. And he's just rapid, amazing learning, seeing how quickly they can grow too. But anyway, so we get them. And then the first day or two is just such a shit show. And we're so like, how are we even cooking? What are we doing? How am I going to work? What's happening? And then we're lying in bed and it's like, no. I think it was the next day. It was the third day I was back at work, and I came in for lunch, and it was just this, you know, shit show. And then I was like, we can't do this. We gotta return the puppies. You know, not doubtless, right? Just total. Like, I was delusional. I don't even know. And then I'm like, just totally panicked. And then Zaim, who's like, are we gonna get rid of the puppies? He already doesn't want to. He's crying. And Candace is like, no, no, your dad's just scared right now. He's overwhelmed. And I'm like, yeah, that's right. I'm just. I'm just scared. Don't listen to me. I'm gonna go back to work. And I just ran out of the house, you know, and then carried on with professionalism back at the office. So it was just a total shit show. And then I realized something so valuable, which is this. The reason that we fall off that doubtless bike. The reason we lose faith, whether it's in ourselves or in relationships or in God or in something bigger than ourselves, which I think is the ultimate source of confidence. The reason we lose it is because we experience pain or discomfort or overwhelm or anxiety or heartbreak or rejection or whatever you want to call it, some sort of pain. We experience that pain, and then our mind says, wait a minute. Wait a minute. If I got pain, then there is no guidance, or, I can't handle this, or I can't trust in other people. This is bullshit. And it wants to close down and it wants to sever from the heart. Cause the heart's feeling too much. It wants to sever from the other people that are connected to our hearts. It wants to sever from the divine that's moving through our hearts. It wants to sever from everything. And then we do. And then we make a new decision. This is not a doubtless decision. We make a decision that says, I'm never gonna trust men again. I'm never gonna trust women again. I'm never gonna open my heart like that again. I'm never gonna trust in myself again. Cause when I trusted in myself, things were going really good for a while. And I was On a roll, in a total flow. And then, boom. Something, you know, didn't work out. I went and slept with that person and it didn't go the way I wanted, or I went and took that business risk and I got a rejection and ugh. And here's the thing. We've all been there. But what I realized, and that's what I love about this puppy experiment, is there was no way out. I mean, I wasn't really going to give him back. And so it just had. I had to work through it, continuing to work through it. And I realized, wait a minute. If you don't contract at that moment of pain, and I mean, you might, you know, spasm out like I did at that lunch, but then you don't stay there, you kind of open back up and keep finding your way. You realize something, that you can stay on that doubtless bike even though you hit a bump or as you fall off the bike, you can get right back up and go again within seconds, within instantly. And here's the thing. Whatever is guiding us is not guiding us to a life of ultimate pleasure and ease. Whatever's guiding us is guiding us to grow, to love and to contribute and serve. That's what I believe. So it's gonna make us lift muscles, lift heavy weights in the gym, to grow our muscles, grow our heart muscle. Remember those near death experiences I was talking about earlier? There's a guy named. Is it Raymond Moody, something? Dr. Moody is a philosopher who studied near death experiences, has numerous books about them. Just amazing guy. But he says that across the board, no matter what religion, no matter what background, no matter what country, one of the most, like, hands down, over 90% of people come back profoundly changed by that experience. And they shift whatever they've been pursuing, money, sex, you know, whatever sort of material things they've been going after, power, recognition, pride, they come back and they say, you know, the most important thing for me to do in my life is to learn how to love more. It's probably because they plugged into that divine energy and they're like, oh, shit, that's what this game is about. And so what if the game is not about getting everything you want or having total pleasure? What if the game is about growing like crazy, loving as big as you can so you can serve and contribute back into the world, which is what giving love back. What if it's all about receiving and giving love and growing in your heart and your capacity to give and receive love? I personally believe it is. So here's the thing. Is it possible to increase your capacity to give love by going through something challenging? Well, I'll tell you absolutely yes. Because try raising two puppies and two young boys. It's like so much demand, right? Because now how do I be loving with a little boy who's hurting a puppy? He doesn't know any better, but I gotta find a way to guide him. And my initial impulse is to get angry or scared or try to stop him or criticize him. So I need to be more loving there. I need to be able to give more to these four beings now. So I need to be able to find out how to grow my capacity to love. Then I need to take care of myself. So I need to have more commitment, more discipline to being more efficient with my self care. And I'll tell you one thing that hemorrhages your self care like more than anything else is not being on your own side. So I gotta be even more on my own side, more quick to forgive, more quick to love myself so that I can give more to others. In other words, it's a rapid turbo boost for growth. So the moral of this episode is get yourself some puppies. No, the moral of this episode is to find your way to doubtless whatever level you want. Level one, which is I can doubtless in self, I can handle anything that comes my way. Level two is doubtless in others. I choose to live with total faith and certainty that this person is trustworthy and I'm going to put my faith and my heart in them. And then three is doubtless in something bigger. And so hopefully the story around the puppies gives you insight as to what you want at level you want to play at in your life. And in case you're wondering, that crinkling, that's two puppies, they're in my office right now looking over at them. They're both asleep. We got a little system where sometimes they go in my office, sometimes they go in the house. Most of the time they're in the house and I got a little tarp, little ex pen, learning like crazy how to puppy train them. We've had them for almost four weeks now. So look at us go. And I like to say we made it through the hardest part. But you never know what's coming tomorrow. Not even tomorrow, like in an hour when I bring them in, who knows? In any case, I know one thing for sure, which is that I am guided. And here's the last part of Doubtless, which is this. Let me share the whole frame. For me, what I come from. I choose or I decide. I choose to live with total faith and certainty that I am guided and held and I approach life. I receive everything that life brings me with surrender and gratitude. I say yes to life. So that brings us to our action step for today. Time for action. Action, action. Your action step for today. Do you want to be doubtless? Well, do ya? Why would you not want to be doubtless? That's a good thing to investigate. Why would you not want to be doubtless? Even if you're like spiritual beliefs, Baham Bug? Well, why not play at level one or two at least? I mean shit, even just being doubtless in yourself will give you great confidence. That's the whole premise of Susan Jeffers book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. She says all fear comes from realizing or believing that we thinking that we can't handle something and that we gain massive confidence and the ability to face any fear when we realize the simple truth, which is I can handle anything that happens to me. That is level one doubtlessness and that shit works. And I remember when I was reading that book, I was in Santa Barbara, UC Santa Barbara. I was on a StairMaster reading a book, sweating, and I read that sentence and I was like, this is the key to the universe. And it was totally shifted things for me. I started doing shit like crazy that I was scared of. I'd never done that before in my life. It was the beginning of my transformation. Thank you Susan Jeffers. But that's level one. What about the next level? Faith in others? What about the next level? Faith in something bigger. Choose what you want to play at. Decide, reinforce that decision and go out there and crush it until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.

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