Dr. Aziz Street Shenanigans - How To Be Confident And Overcome Social Anxiety

Hey, Dr. Aziz here. And I am in beautiful downtown Portland, Oregon, on a sunny day, and I'm here to demonstrate one thing, and that's the world is a friendly place. That's something that I used to not believe. For most of my life, I felt like the world was a harsh and a critical place, that people were going to judge me and criticize me and not like me and be quick to reject me. And the truth is, the world is a friendly place, first and foremost. People usually don't even care or notice, and I'm going to demonstrate that a lot today. Secondly, people might be surprisingly friendly, enjoy talking to you, might even become a friend, a lover, someone you spend the.

Rest of your life with.

I don't know. So we're going to demonstrate all kinds of things. The first thing I'm going to demonstrate is the warmup, because guess what? I'm nervous. I got a list of stuff here from a lot of you guys about things I could do. And they're freaky, they're uncomfortable, they're way beyond the edge of what's normal and comfortable. And so I need to warm up in order to be able to do them. Just like physical fitness. We got to warm up our social fitness. So let's go do some warm ups right now. Follow me. Hey there. Hey, what's up, man? Hey, guys. Hello.

Hey, man. What's up? Hello.

Hey, man.

Oh, hey.

How you doing? What's up, guys?

Hey.

Hey, guys. Hello there. Are you okay? You look like you were like. It was like a look of like. No. Okay. All right. Just making sure everything was like. Okay, Everything's cool. Just. Just, like, scroll in the feed, that's all. Okay. He did what? That's what I thought. What's your name?

Ilona.

Ilona. Hi. Aziz.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. I'm just killing some time waiting for a friend, so come work. Well, we're going to get a bite to eat and then probably go for a run, Something like that. Pretty sweet. What are you up to?

I was just on my lunch break.

Oh, you work around here or something?

I do, yeah.

Like, doing work.

Right across the street in anthropology in the wedding department.

You just said so many things. Anthropology at a wedding. Oh, okay.

They have a wedding department.

It's called beholden. Okay. All right. I thought you meant, like. Like you're an anthropologist.

Yeah.

And you studied weddings, and I was like, what? Awesome. Right on. What is that a picture? Did you make it yourself?

No, no, I got it off. So fun. I just thought it Was cute. Yeah.

That's nice. Okay, I have a confession.

Yeah?

I forgot your name already. I'm a little nervous because you're very beautiful. So I'm a little like. And I'm a little uncomfortable sometimes approaching people, but I do it because it's good for me.

Yeah.

So what was your name? Ilona. That's a really pretty name. Yeah, I don't think I've ever heard that. It sounds like a Hawaiian flower.

I don't believe it is.

No. Okay, well, it's wrong. Do you know what it means, like, different names that mean light, so that's okay. It means light. Do you know in what language?

Probably Russian or Ukrainian. Wow.

Awesome. All right.

Well.

Thank you. Yes. It means the great conqueror who destroys his enemies as he conquers them. No, it doesn't mean that. It means beloved, dear one. Yeah. Awesome. It was fun talking with you.

You, too.

I will see you around, I'm sure. Hi. This is your spot right here. Awesome. Yeah. Nice shirt. Nice jacket. I didn't even know what's going on with wearing. I like it. Those are fantastic shoes.

Oh, thank you so much.

Yeah.

Hi.

Hi. I love your hair, by the way. It's fantastic. Yeah. You think you can make it with all the change? Okay. Good luck. Thank you.

It. It's.

Do this. Super quick question, guys. I am single. Would one of you like to be my girlfriend? Anyone would do. No. Okay, you'll be my girlfriend.

Yeah.

Oh, wow. What's your name?

Harper.

Harper Aziz.

Nice to meet you.

Well, actually, since you're my girlfriend, we get to hug. This is awesome.

You really.

Did you talk it over with your friends? Did I get the seal of approval? Okay. Wow. Awesome. So you want to make out? No, I'm just kidding. No. I'm seriously looking for a girlfriend. In my culture, we can. We can take mistresses. I'm nobility, actually.

I'm a prince.

But, yeah. So I'm looking for a girlfriend.

Hey.

Sorry.

We were just talking about what kind.

Of dog that was. Is it. It's a shih tzu. Yeah. In your face, it's a shih tzu.

Well, he's a mix.

Oh. What is the other dog.

So, it's a lot of opso. Wow. She's right, though. You're better.

Yeah, I'm right. I'm more right than she is.

I'll say. You're right.

Awesome. Did you. Do you know each other or you came by for the dog, too?

No, we know each other.

Oh, okay. I. I saw you hunched over. I thought maybe it Was like a magnet. It just attracted people.

Big magnet, for sure. He's not feeling the best today. I don't know what's going on.

I had a roommate who had a. A shih Tzu Boston terrier mix.

That's an interesting.

It was a very. It was a very ugly, gross dog that was extremely adorable at the same time.

Yeah. There's a place in the world for those dogs. Yeah. They're so ugly. They're cute. Yeah.

God doesn't make mistakes.

That's true. That's true. Right? Yeah. Thanks, Suzanne.

Sure. No, I'm just gonna keep hanging out, slightly awkwardly. What do you guys. So what are you guys doing? How do you.

I have to work.

You both are gonna. Are you being serious or you're like, get away from me, weirdo.

Right here.

Like, right here on this corner?

Yeah, basically. Not that way.

Where do you work? Do you work at West Elm? And you work at Holstein's? Shakes and Buns Coming soon.

I work from home, and she works down the street.

You live here?

Yeah.

Is that your. Is that your bench? What kind of work do you do?

I'm a nurse from home. It's interesting. Takes a while to explain. Don't worry about it.

Okay. Yeah. And you guys look like you're. You're wrapping up, having a moment together. And then this guy came over and started. Yeah. Whose birthday?

Well, mine. But you just had yours.

Yes.

So we're trying to figure out some plans. Wow. Yes.

Well, you know, I'm just gonna keep hanging out until you tell me to go away. Tell me to go anytime.

I think we need to finish our plans.

Well, just one thing. I actually used to plan birthdays for a living.

I think we got this one.

Okay. It's just any, any, any. So you can just try me like, crazy shit that we've done, but you don't look like the crazy shit kind of person.

No, I want it to be really lovely.

Yeah. Like. Like six friends with candles.

Yeah. I'll just text you because I don't know what I want. No.

And you guys.

You guys can keep hanging out. I'm gonna go. Okay. Bye, guys. Oh, you have to. Okay. I thought you guys were, like, hardcore. And I was like, no, they're gonna beat me up.

I wish I was hardcore. There's no way. Sometimes I hear a loud noise, and I'm like, God.

Well, then you get all ready to fight.

Right?

Fight or flight. It's more fight mode.

More like, don't hit me in the face. Here's my wallet.

Leave Me alone.

Nice. You know what's great is most of the time I see someone on break from work, they're by themselves smoking and using their cell phones. There's nothing wrong with that. But it's like back in the day, it would like, smoke and hang out with someone.

Like way around the top of somebody that'd be yelling at me.

I know, I know.

Smoke, buddy.

Smoke, buddy. Mmm, man, that looks good. I haven't smoked in like three years.

Though, so I'm not gonna.

I wish I hadn't.

Wake up. You're in a coma. This isn't real. What is real? Wake up. You're in a coma. This isn't real. I am awake.

Oh, good. Wake up.

Wake up.

Let it dissolve. Super quick question. Don't want to interrupt, you guys. I'm doing a little poll of asking 100 people to rate how attractive they think I am from 0 to 10.

Okay.

Be honest. Men too.

Why are you doing this? I'm just here for finery to.

To build my shattered self esteem. So you have to give me a high number. No, no, just. I'm just gonna. Well, after the interaction, I'll put it in my cell phone.

Okay. What do you. Wait, man.

An eight? All right, Nice. Thank you.

Yeah, I was thinking eight, too.

An eight?

Yeah.

Well, why not a ten? Guys, come on. No, I'm just kidding. You know, that would be awkward. You don't have to answer that. Awesome. Thank you.

All right. Personality would build to it, you know.

Oh, if I had a better personality, it would be higher.

And I was like, oh, after like an hour of having coffee with you. He's so funny. 10, but first impression.

Yeah, first impression. 8, but maybe you'd hang out with me for an hour and then you'd be like, oh, it's like a five. Maybe. Maybe. I'm just letting you know we don't know. I have potential. 10 potential.

Awesome.

Thank you, guys. How attractive you'd rate me? 10 being the most. 0 being wretched. Be honest. This is a serious poll.

I don't feel comfortable undertaking this poll.

Oh, also, it's low. You don't offend me. I can read between the lines. Get your guys thoughts too. From 0 to 10. 10 being the most. 0 being not at all.

Be honest.

He dared me to do it. I have to do it. And I want men's opinions too. And you guys, you're hearing this.

I didn't hear all of it. I didn't hear. Yeah.

Oh, rate how attractive I am from 0 to 10. And be honest. Before you go, just give me the number. No, I need to get 10 people. So 10 people, I'll give you a.

Let's see here.

I'll give it six.

Six.

All right, thank you. On a scale of 0 to 10, including men, how attractive I am, 0 to 10, what would you give me? 10 plus 10 plus, yes. All right.

We've been out and about having fun. Tell us how you feel.

I feel fantastic, actually. I felt very nervous before coming out here today because I asked people in a video what they'd want me to do, what they would dare me to do. And the stuff I got back was pretty edgy, pretty uncomfortable for me. But fuck it, I gotta do what scares me. So I decided I was gonna do a bunch of this stuff and was quite nervous beforehand. But after having done it, I feel like totally relaxed, totally liberated.

I feel awesome.

Was there anything that got you nervous that you felt like, oh my gosh, I can't do this?

You know, even just coming out here today knowing I was gonna do this, I felt nervous like all morning I was kinda like, oh, this afternoon I gotta do that thing. But I knew I was gonna do it. And then kinda I did some warm up, which is what we started with, because I think warm up is super important, like any physical activity. So just said hi to people and just gave people some compliments. And then as we were doing that, I saw this beautiful woman sitting by herself just looking at her phone. And it was a perfect opportunity. And so I just decided to go for it. And then once I did that, you know, the first thing is always the hardest. And then it became more and more fun. But there were some specific things that I did that were like, I had to work up the nerve to do them.

Like what? Give us an example.

Okay. One person said, go up to someone and say, you're in a coma. Wake up. This isn't real. And that was like. The guy was like, what is real? I was like, oh, shit. And then the thing said to do it again. So I did it again. And that one felt like, just weird and uncomfortable. Like I was like freaking him out a little bit. So that one was uncomfortable. Another one that really was edgy was go to a busy street corner and howl at the sky.

Howl at the moon.

It's daytime. Howl at the sky like a wolf. And that one I kind of had to like, I got in place. I was like, this is the place, I'm gonna do it. Alright, fuck it. And then I just did it. But that one was pretty uncomfortable. Too.

And we saw you flexing in the mirror in the reflection. How'd that go?

That's right.

These guns. Yeah.

You know, the silly stuff. Like, what's funny is, like, as I did more and more of these things, like, you get to this moment where you just kind of break through, and you see that, like, nothing happens. And I got a few, like, rejections today and other things, and just, like, nothing happens and everything. So that was actually. I felt I was actually really. There was no fear at all. It was actually really fun and funny and silly.

And some guy walked by.

He's like, you're looking good, man. I was like, I know it. And it was. It was awesome.

And we saw you actually get accepted as you got yourself a girlfriend today.

I did get a girlfriend today. That's right.

I.

Another thing someone suggests I do is walk up to women and say, will you be my girlfriend? So there was a group of four women walking by, and I said, hold on a second, guys. I have a quick question for you. Will one of you be my girlfriend? Anyone will do. So showing my high standards there. And they, like, no. And then they walked by, and then I was just kind of standing on the corner. There was two other women coming. I was going to ask them, and then those four women came back, and one of them is like, I'll be your girlfriend. And that was really fun and sweet. She was 16, which was awkward, but other than that, it was great.

Yeah, you did a great job. I had a lot of fun. Is there anything else that stands out in your mind?

Just that the first is always the hardest. The first thing and that I proved to myself, again, which is what I teach, and I need to keep learning again and again, is that there's a formula for confidence, and it's fear plus act of courage equals confidence. So I'm scared, and I do an act of courage, which is to walk up and talk to those people, Howl at the sky. It's an act of courage.

Bold.

You do that. Fear plus act of courage always equals confidence. So right now I feel confident. I feel energized. I feel like, you know, one other thing which is fascinating. I haven't. I'm married. I have two small kids. I spend a lot of time at work and helping people and then in the home, I'm not walking around, like, hitting on women. Haven't done that in a long time. And so coming out here and just to talk to women, engage with them, flirt with them a little bit, I felt nervous after doing it once that first woman, I was like, oh my God, this is fun. And so I've had a great time just interacting with beautiful women. It's really fun. I highly recommend it.

So if, if you could give one piece of advice to those of you viewers after having done this one thing, what would it be?

Do it, do it. Blitzkrieg is what I would say. So we talked about this in my recently on a group call in my mastermind group. The guy was like, I want to go talk to women, but oh, I want to pursue this job, but. And he was like, gonna try to do it the next week. And I was like, dude, fuck try. You got a blitzkrieg. You gotta just, instead of go one, do five. So that's what I would encourage. It's like, if you're scared to do the one, get a friend, because that'll help get out into the world and start with a warm up and then just do five. Like, I'm gonna go compliment five people. I'm gonna go ask 10 strangers a silly question. I'm gonna go ask five women if they could be my girlfriend and get rejected five times or maybe get accepted, I don't know. But yeah, just go out and do it in blitzkrieg.