Extraordinary Confidence

Coming to you from the center for social Confidence in Portland, Oregon, welcome to Shrink for the shy guy helping men everywhere go from social anxiety to social domination with your host, Dr. Aziz. Hey, welcome. Today's episode of the show. I'm Dr. Aziz and I'm excited because today is the pre release of my new book called the art of extraordinary confidence. And that is the focus of today's show, Extraordinary confidence and how you can start to live that how start to have that in your life. And before you pause this or turn it off and say extraordinary man, I'm just, I'm just trying not to feel terrified when I wake up in the morning or I'm just trying to interact with somebody and not hate myself or feel totally awkward. Doesn't matter where you're starting. My guess is you do want extraordinary confidence to be able to do the things you really want in this life. And extraordinary doesn't have to mean like earn a billion dollars, although you might want that. But I mean, I'll explain what I mean in a little bit later. In this episode, kind of the major areas like social confidence, dating and relationships, money confidence, physical confidence, all these places where we can feel fully confident in ourselves, fully believe in ourselves so we can create a life. That's what we want. And to me, having amazing relationship is extraordinary. Especially in this day and age where so many people are breaking up, divorcing or not fully satisfied in their relationships. Having an extraordinary relationship or a satisfying, deep, loving lifelong relationship with someone, that's extraordinary. It takes extraordinary confidence. So those are the specific areas we're going to be diving into today. I should let you know that today and tomorrow as part of the pre release you can get yourself a copy of the entire book. The entire 350 page beast of a book. Don't worry, it's an easy read on Amazon on Kindle for 99 cents. What? That's right, 99 cents. So if you want to go get that now, go to theartofextraordinaryconfidence.com pre release. That's the art of extraordinary confidence.com the art all one word. Theart of extraordinaryconfidence.com pre release. That'll be P R E R E L E A S e. I had to spell release in my mind. Pre release, all one word. So you can go there and that will actually link you up to the page where you can get the book for 99 cents. It'll be kindled directly to your reader phone or tablet or whatever and get started reading on that and we're doing a little raffle drawing here where we're giving away tickets or a ticket to my upcoming live event, the Unlimited Dating Confidence Bootcamp here in Portland in October. Giving away a couple of opportunities to get full programs like the Confidence Unleashed System and other programs. And the way you can find out about all of that is I'm doing a Training today at 3:00pm Pacific Time, 6:00pm Eastern called the Three Secrets of Extraordinary Confidence. And if you're on my mailing list, you'll have heard about it and you can call in. I'll be sharing a bunch and I'll be doing a bunch of Q and A afterwards. So it's a great way to interact with me and find out more about the book. And the way we're doing it is you can get yourself a copy for 99 cents today and tomorrow. And then we're gonna do a raffle based upon people that write reviews. So if you write a review for the book, you have two weeks from today to write a review for the book. And if you do, if you do write a review, you'll be entered into a raffle and the people that we select will get crazy prizes that range from 1 to $2,000 in value. And all you have to do is write a review of the book. It better be a five star review. I'm kidding. Or am I? I don't know. But write a great review if you like it and we will get a chance to win some cool stuff. So if you want to know more about that whole raffle process and how it works, come to the training today. Three Secrets of Extraordinary Confidence. All the information is in your email. If you're not on my email list, get on there now. Go to socialconfidencecenter.com to enter the email list or shrinkforthshyguy.com get on the email list there to find out about all these goodies. And if you miss it today, like you're like, oh, I want to attend and be there, we will send a replay out tomorrow. So all the more reason to get on the list right now@shrinkforthshyguy.com to find out about all these goodies, get the book for 99 cents, which is amazing. And then also free stuff too. So it's all part of my mission here to spread this as much as possible because and we're going to get more into my story today about sub average to super confident. I just want everyone in the world to be a lot more confident. That's what I'm here to do so. This 99 cent book is really going to help and your reviews are going to help too, because the more reviews the book gets, the more awesome I look, the more awesome the book looks to people who are thinking about buying it. And here's the cool thing about this book, and if you got my other one, the solution to social anxiety, you might already know this. This is not just like some pop psychology. Here's some quick tips, you know, how to manipulate her into bed. This is about deep confidence. And this is rooted in years of clinical psychology work, you know, helping people at the deepest level with their hardest shit and years of coaching and live events. And my goal is to deliver this super deep, super healing, life transforming text in a way that actually my goal was to make it really fun and funny and engaging to read. So I think you'll actually have a blast as you read it. Because that was my goal is no one wants to read like a psychology tome. Like, and then in clinical trials of 74 individuals, capital N equals 74, you know, you don't want to read that. So I make it funny. There's stories about me. And as you're engaged, as you're reading, you're transforming is the goal. So check that out and let's talk about extraordinary confidence for you. So what would extraordinary confidence, what does that mean? First of all, when I say that term, extraordinary confidence, what do you think of what would that mean for you if you were to have, let's say we could press a button right now. I don't know, maybe you're driving right now or you're walking or whatever. Like you could look down at some device or on your dashboard or ever and just go bink and press a button and then boom. You are now infused with extraordinary confidence. What color would it be? I don't know, green. Anyway, you're infused with extraordinary confidence. Breathe it in, feel it. Whoa. Just try it on as a thought experiment. Now what. What is life like? What are you like? Has your outfit actually transformed now that you're extraordinary? Maybe as you press the button, your outfit transforms. Maybe not. Does your posture transform? Does wherever you're driving to transform? Maybe you'd be driving somewhere totally different to a different job, to a different place, to your amazing girlfriend or partner's house. I don't know. What would it be for you? Extraordinary, Extraordinary confidence. Extraordinary beyond ordinary. Let your mind go with it. Also, as you're coming up with things, notice also if there's this kind of possibility, police the possibility Police happening. No, that's not possible. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry about that. That's not possible either. You know, if that voice is happening, just notice. Maybe it feels impossible to you. I know it certainly did for me for many years. So, in fact, I'm gonna share a little bit more about that and my journey with it. So I'll tell you that story in just a second. Stay tuned. We're gonna take a quick break. During the break, think about extraordinary confidence for you. The more clear you can get in all the different areas of your life. How you'd be, how you show up, what you'd say, how you talk, the volume that you talk, the eye contact you'd make, all the nitty gritty details, as well as what you'd be doing, what you'd go after. You know, if I really believed in myself, I'd start my own business, or I would rise through the company that I'm in because I would believe in myself and I'd speak up in meetings, and I'd take on opportunities instead of shying away. I'd communicate better with people, and they'd want to follow me. I'd be more of a leader. Of course, your dating life, what would you do there? Your friendship life, your social life. So think about that. We'll take a quick break and we'll be right back right after this. Hey, what's up? Whatever. Hey, you hear about Ted? Nah, man. What? Yeah, Ted's gone, man. He's gone. Gone where? No one knows. Some people say Ted's left the country. Some people say he left with a girl. What? With a girl? Ted Macy. Fucking Ted Macy. Te. Ted left with a girl. But Ted don't talk to girls, man. Ted just stayed in his room. He just played Xbox all the time. I know, man, but check it. He went to this place called the center of Confidence or something. He saw some confidence doctor or some shit, man. A what? A confidence doctor, man. I don't know. But anyway, he got real deep into it, and like three months later, he was out talking to all kinds of people. No way, man. Yeah, and then he starts dating this girl. She's visiting from Iceland, and they hit it off, and next thing I heard is they went back to her homeland, visit her, her family or some shit. Wow. Ted Macy, man. Fucking Ted Macy. If Ted Macy can do it, anyone can. Go to SocialConfidenceCenter.com to discover how to overcome your shyness, maximize your confidence, and start living your life fully. Welcome back. So remember I was asking about the Possibility police. And maybe that's been coming up more as you've been thinking about what you'd really want with extraordinary confidence, what it would be for you. And it reminds me of a section in the book I wrote called my story sub average to super confident. And that's where I would say I started. And I talk about what sub average is in the book, but for me, sub average is basically walking around most of the day not feeling confident, not liking myself, generally having pretty low self esteem, not thinking I could do much or achieve much, especially in the areas that I was really passionate about, not thinking people liked talking to me, not approaching people, especially people that I found attractive or cool or thought they would be, you know, interesting people. And lots and lots of inner commentary about why I wasn't good enough, about how I messed that up, about how I shouldn't do that. Again, keeping me very small. That was sub average. And as a result, not pursuing a career that I found interesting, not dating anyone really ever, and having a very, very small, limited friend group. So that was sub average. I know it can get worse than that. I mean, people can be agoraphobic. They don't leave their house, they're scared to go outside and check their mail because they're so worried that someone might be there. Now, I didn't have it that bad, unfortunately. And if you're there, I still believe that, that you can get to super confident. It's just imagine like, imagine a big ring, big circular ring, and at the very, very center, little tiny hole. Maybe you're like, maybe your ring is only the size of a little dime or a quarter or whatever the currency coin is in your country. And then it can expand and it's the size of like, you know, grapefruit or a basketball. Then it's bigger and then it can be the size, you know, it's like the size of a hula hoop. It's like a yard across. Then it gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Right. That's just your level. So no matter where you are, the same principles are gonna get you from stage zero to stage one to stage two, to stage three, to stage four, to extraordinary. Wherever extraordinary starts for you, stage five, I don't know. So I was definitely in the small, very constricted version of this. And now I would say I have very high confidence. I can do all kinds of things that I never could do before in terms of speaking with people. I'm always interested, you know, after talking with someone about their experience, after a party or a gathering how much anxiety there can be. And I realize, like, wow, I don't really have that anymore. I just. And it's not that I was like the life of the party. Sometimes I am because I'm awesome. But maybe not. I've just had a few conversations or whatever. And maybe I did have an awkward interaction or an interaction where I kind of wanted to get away from the person or I didn't know what to say or whatever, or no one laughed at my joke. That that happens. Shockingly, that still happens to me. But the difference is I leave the party and there is no sense of failure. I'm no good, people don't like me. That's the part that I think is also extraordinary. I talk about that in the book too. Extraordinary confidence is not becoming this perfect, invincible, flawless machine that everyone admires because you're so perfect. That's the illusion of confidence. And you always end up on top. You always win. It's an illusion. It's not real, it's a fantasy. But real. Extraordinary confidence is an incredible power that comes from self compassion, vulnerability, being totally okay with yourself as you are and just showing up in life fully and embracing yourself with all of your flaws and all of your imperfections, no matter who you are, no matter where you are. Yes. Embracing yourself when you're still 10 pounds overweight. Yes. Embracing yourself after you made a joke and no one laughed, or after you revealed too much to that person who seemed like they were listening and they were really engaged, then you left and you're like, oh my God, why did I tell them all that shit? Ah, right, all that stuff. Accepting yourself just like that, just as you are imperfect, that instantly leads to a higher level of confidence. That's what I really believe. So how did I get from sub average to this higher level of confidence? Super confidence, you might say. Well, that's all in the book. You gotta buy it to find out. It's 99 cents. I'll share more in the training too, so. But the core of it is that we need to identify the stories and excuses that we tell ourselves that prevent us from doing anything. We can cut off millions of opportunities and options in our lives by having a simple story in our head. For example, I had a story in my head for many years that said I'm not attractive, I'm physically not attractive or appealing to women, period. So I believe that story. And when I believe that story, guess what I didn't do? Talk to women. Right? So those stories keep us incredibly limited and incredibly safe. Safe from all Those things like rejection and failure, excuses are similar. I talk about the difference in the book. Those are more focused on the outside world. Those people aren't giving me this. It's everyone else's fault. The stories are more like, I suck. So excuses and stories, you gotta be able to identify those, see through them and find out what's underneath. And I'll give you a great tip. You know what's always underneath? Always, Always, always, always, always. It's fear. That's it. Fear. So there's a whole chapter in the book. So the book goes out, you know, Step up is the first chapter, Excuses. The next one, Stories is the next one, and then one after that. Chapter four is Fear. And we talk about how to face fear, how to deal with fear, how to overcome fear, and how to master fear. So it never stops you from doing what you want. And that's another key to developing super confidence, is you got to face that fear. And most people think facing fear is like gearing up for battle and being like, all right, fuck, I'm gonna do this. Oh, this sucks. And there's all this tension. And so in the book, I guide you to actually face the fear in your body first, long before the situation. So that when you face it in the situation, you know, you might be freaking out, but you also might be way more at peace. And the more unattached we can be to the outcome, the more at peace we can be. So facing fear and then the core of the book and the core of your transformation from sub average or wherever you are, maybe you're not sub average. Maybe you're average. Maybe you're already very confident and you want to get that edge, go to that next level. Then the core of it is action. That's the fifth chapter in the book, Action. And it's twice as long as all the other chapters, because I'm a huge believer that action creates every result that you want in your life. And once we've cleared away the stories and the excuses and learned how to overcome fear, then we can get into massive action. And the more actions you can take, the more rapidly you can take them, the faster you transform. And that's what I did. So I. Well, my process was actually, I wish this book existed for me when I was working through this, But I did get into action. There's a lot more self criticism in my action than what I teach in the book. But, you know, so if you could approach. For me, it was, I want to approach women. So I started to do it a lot. And Instead of doing it once every six months, what about once every six days? What about once a day? What about six women over the course of a Saturday and a Sunday? Out in a park, out in the mall, in the supermarket, by the fountain? That is massive action, and that produces incredible results. Same goes for public speaking, for being able to start conversations, being able to make people laugh, whatever you want to practice. The more you can practice, the more you can take action, the better you get. And in that chapter, we talk all about the fear of rejection, the fear of failure, all the stuff that stops us from taking action and how to overcome it. And then we get into the benefits, the results of confidence, and how to get more of those in our life. Love, wealth, money and power. So, actually, stay tuned. We'll take a quick break, and when we get back, we're going to get into all of those things.

Oh. Enter if you must.

Greetings, nerd king. We word of your wisdom has traveled far across the land. I have come to seek your counsel.

A brilliant idea on your part, obviously. Hail, weary traveler. I am at your service. But make haste. May I offer you a beverage? Perhaps a Mountain Dew, Code Red? Or a vodka and Red Bull?

Ah, thank you, good sir.

Now hurry. What is your ailment?

Well, there's a woman, and I've known her for months. She works on the third floor of my building. I see her once per day, just for a few minutes. We exchange. Hello. But I want to say so much more to her. For, you see, I love her, and I want to tell her this.

No, no, no. This is all so tawdry. You must play your hand more wisely than this.

Really? Well, this is why I sought your counsel, Good nerd king. What should I do? Hmm.

Well, first, you must place a mana card. Perhaps an island or swamp. Then on turn two, you must place another land. And then a two drop. Do you have any two drops with flying?

I. I'm not sure I follow.

Then. Oh, and now. This is brilliant. After all, I just thought of it. Then on turn three, only play a land. Don't play any creatures. She will think you've run out of steam. But then on the next turn, you will play your five. Five, four. Drop. Ember Beasta Dragon. She won't know how to contain herself.

Nerd king. Are you talking about real life?

Of course, you fool. I've used this method to slay hundreds of maidens.

But I don't want to slay. I don't understand. What do I say to her the next time that I See her?

I believe I have already answered that question. You must play an island or a swamp. It's quite simple, really. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some serious camping to do on my favorite modded Counter Strike server. It's in Belgium. You know, the ping is a little high. The lag is tolerable. Good hunting to you.

Need real advice on what to say to that woman that you're really drawn to but haven't spoken to yet. Go to 30days to dating mastery.com to find out exactly how to do this. From a place of authenticity, being yourself, and truly feeling confident in who you are. Go to www.30daystodatingmastery.com now. Welcome back. So we're talking about extraordinary confidence. And I was getting into what's in the book. And by the way, if you want to get yourself a copy of the book, go to theartofextraordinaryconfidence.com prerele and we'll link you there to a copy of the book for 99 cents. You could also just go to Amazon.com and type that in. Or look me up, Dr. Aziz Ghazipura. And the book will come up there too. So that's another way to find it. Get it for 99 cents. It's going to be awesome. And I was going to talk about some of the benefits of confidence, the results, and I decided to veer a little bit off of that. So it's not exactly what I'm gonna be teaching later today in the training. So I'm doing a training today. Three secrets of extraordinary confidence. You should check that out. You would have gotten an email about it around my list. But here there's five things, five elements of confidence that I think are part of extraordinary confidence. And I wanted to share these with you to see if they map onto yours to me. If I'm gonna have extraordinary confidence, these are the five areas that I want extraordinary confidence in. One is self confidence. Right? That's the. That's the core of it. All right. So self confidence is basically this. It's self esteem, which is, I like who I am as I am. I'm good, I'm okay. And then, yes, I can do that. Those are the two components to self confidence. In my mind, it's like, yeah, I like who I am, and yes, I can do that, or I can put my mind to it and I can do it. Hey, do you want to take on this project? Hey, do you want to try this? Hey, do you want to increase that? Hey, do you want to go for your goal, your dream? Yes, I can do that. Even if we're nervous, even if we have doubts. I mean, that's been my experience of pursuing this stuff is I have doubts all the time, but it's like, okay, I see those as stories now. I'm going to continue to take massive action even though I have doubts. So that is self confidence in my book. And as over time we have less and less doubt, more and more trust and faith in our abilities and in life. Second element, social confidence. This one's huge for extraordinary confidence. Social confidence is I can talk to people, I can start conversations, I can engage freely and openly with others. I can share who I am with others. And I generally trust that people like me. Or there's plenty of people that will like me. I don't need everyone to like me, but a lot of people will, and that's great. And I can have the friendships that I want, the connections that I want. You know, you have high social confidence when someone says, hey, do you want to go to this? There's a guy in my, one of my mastermind groups right now, and he just posted that he was going to be going to a wedding where the only person he knew at this couple hundred person wedding would be the groom. And he was going to be seated at a table. He was going with no date, and he was seated at a table with like 10 or 12 people or whatever that he didn't know. That is a sign of social confidence. Even if he's nervous, it's high confidence to go do that. And then if you enjoy yourself and are able to connect and able to have a good time or no matter what happens, feel okay about yourself afterwards, that's even higher social confidence. Another area that I think is part of extraordinary confidence is money confidence. And this is. There's a whole chapter in the book about this, and that's I can feel relaxed around money. You're not tense and nervous. And here's the thing. We think that as I earn more, my money confidence will naturally go up. And maybe that's kind of true, but in my experience, not really for a lot of people. They can still feel anxious, they can still have all these hangups, they can still feel tense about money. I know tons of people, and this was my experience too, who start to earn more money, and then there's a sense of like, oh my God, it's all gonna collapse, it's all gonna crumble. So you can still feel anxious. So for me, money confidence is, I Feel totally relaxed around money. And I know that I can earn what I want and I can provide for myself and loved ones, my family or whoever it is for you. That's part of money confidence. Another piece of extraordinary confidence is, well, one way to say it would be dating and relationships. In the book. I call it love. Love, man, that's what we all want. So love confidence is I can create an amazing relationship that's possible for me. I have the capacity, I have the skills, I'm desirable and worthwhile enough. And there's plenty of people out there who would want to be with me even if I haven't found that person yet. And that's a mixture of finding that person, but it's also a mixture. It's also you learning how to love more and more with more and more confidence. And the love chapter in this book is probably my favorite chapter. If you're going to get this book and you're only going to read like a little bit of it, you know, like we do with so many books, we, like read it, you know, chapter or two, we're like, yeah, I got it. You know, I liked purchasing it more than I liked reading it. If you're going to read just one chapter, read the chapter on love because it is life transforming and it is a deep dive into all the ways that we block and try to protect ourselves from getting hurt and then massively limiting the love that we can feel for ourselves, the love that we can receive from people that we're already in relationships with, and the love that we want to create in a romantic relationship. We're totally squeezing and constricting that down to almost like a trickle, and we're starving for it. And then we're running around trying to get approval and trying to impress others, and it's making us fucking crazy. As I see how passionate I am as I'm talking about this, I have to record an entire episode about love confidence. And I will. So stay tuned for that and get yourself a copy of the book because you'll find a bunch in there. The fifth area, I don't touch on this much in the book, but I think it's super important as well, is physical confidence. And that's a sense that you can freely use your body, that you can make it grow stronger. You're not living in perpetual fear of injury, and I can't do that, or I'm not enough for that, or I'm not good enough, or, you know, either I don't have the willpower for that, or, oh, If I do that, but I'm going to get injured, so I can't. And there's tons of ways we can heal after injuries and stuff to have physical confidence, belief in our abilities. That's a side one to me. That's part of extraordinary confidence. As I was coming up with this list today. So what is it for you? I am so excited. I'm like talking fast. I'm like foaming at the mouth. I love this topic. So I want to hear from you. Go to shrinkforthshyguy.com and you can send me messages there. Send me a message, any questions you have. By the way, I've been answering more and more of those and ask the shrink segments. Also go to facebook.com SocialConfidence and you can. So that's facebook.com SocialConfidence you can enter your questions in there or you can just chat about what is extraordinary confidence for you and to you. And if you want to dive even deeper, join me in the training later today. It's at 3pm Pacific Time, 6pm Eastern, called the Three Secrets of Extraordinary Confidence. We're gonna go even deeper in how you can create this in your life. And it's possible for you. Any BS in your mind that says it's not is just a story. So to find out about that training, you have to be on my mailing list. If you're not on my mailing list, go get on there now and at least you'll be able to find out about the replay. So go to shrinkforthshyguy.com and you can sign up there and we'll be giving away all kinds of cool stuff. You can still get your 99 cent copy of the book today. Boom. And then write a review. And if you write a review and email me at any of the emails or message me in some way, you can do it at Draziz D R A Z I z@socialconfidencecenter.com Email me that. Hey, I wrote a review and the name, you know, here's the name of my reviewer name because maybe it's not your regular name. Then we'll put you in the pool and you know, it's probably gonna be a small pool. There's gonna be a lot of people on the training, but not all those people are gonna go write reviews. So you have two weeks to write the review. I hope that's all clear. I'm all talking fast and excited, all hot and bothered. Anyway, you're awesome. I love you. Join me in the training let's talk about how to become extraordinarily confident. And one last thought. The reason I'm so passionate, I realize as I'm saying this, is because that pathway is so clear to me now. To go from wherever you are to more and more and more and more free. It's just a matter of dedication and sticking with it. And I know you can do it. So that's why I'm so excited. It's this feeling of liberation for you and for me and for all of us. So you're awesome. Until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to share who you are freely and boldly with the world. We'll talk soon. Thanks for listening to Shrink for the shy guy with Dr. Azeez. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to shrinkforthshyguy.com for free blogs, ebooks and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, go to socialconfidencecenter.com. Sa.