From Scared To Powerful: Have The Conversation You’ve Been Avoiding! | Dr. Aziz - Confidence Coach

Do you want to feel less anxious, less unsettled, less afraid, less weak in some ways, and more powerful? Strong, confident, assertive, bold and certain in yourself? I don't know who would say no to that. But if that is what you want, watch this episode. I'm going to share something very specific and very powerful with you. It's going to help you be able to achieve that. Now, Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz. This is the show for you if you want to maximize your confidence in every area of life that matters. So let's talk about one specific thing you can do to boost a sense of power in yourself. Because the opposite of feeling confident and powerful is feeling anxious, feeling afraid, feeling almost kind of weak. Like life could hit us, people could get upset with us, and we just crumple, or we couldn't handle it. And we might not literally walk around saying that to ourselves or other people, but it's kind of a feeling that we have. And I want to talk about one way to push through that or to turn that feeling around into something where you're a lot more powerful and solid in yourself. And here's what it is. You ready? It's to have the conversation you've been avoiding. Have the conversation that you've been avoiding. Another way to say that would be to. To confront the issue that you've been avoiding. Confront the person that you've been avoiding. Now, I first started by saying have the conversation you've been avoiding, because even just the word confront or confrontation stirs up all this anxiety. Ah, I'm already feeling so anxious, you want me to confront someone. Ah, I can't handle that. Right? And confrontation, man, that one, that word has got such a scary sound to it, right? But a confrontation doesn't have to mean you go at someone with a baseball bat or yell and scream at somebody. It just means bringing the thing up. You don't even have to know all the aspects of the conversation. In fact, usually over. Preparing for a conversation or a confrontation is a sign that we're unwilling to just face the fear. We're trying to map it all out. We're trying to keep it safe and keep it smooth. You know, a little bit of forethought, that's okay. But at some point, it's like, look, here's what I want to bring up. Here are some things I want to say about it. Here's what I want to share. Let's go. Let's go into it. And all that mental Planning is usually a sign of another layer of avoidance. So you got to have the conversation that you have been avoiding. Now, as soon as I say that, you might already know what that conversation is, and maybe not. Maybe it'll take a few more minutes in this video, but if you do, you could just probably just close this video. You've seen enough. Go do it. That's the essence of this point. What will follow will just be a few reasons why and a little push to do it and a little opportunity to find out who that person is, what that conversation is. Maybe it's with your spouse. It was a conversation. I had a conversation just this last weekend with my wife, Candice that I needed to have. And it was a conversation where basically, in our lives, there's two spheres of responsibilities. There's a lot of stuff that goes on with the business and certain bills and household stuff. That's my responsibility. For the most part, I handle all that stuff. Then there's a lot of stuff that Candice handles that specifically, like being with the boys during work week and taking care of their needs and getting a lot of the food stuff handled. That's her responsibilities. And there's a lot of other stuff in each of our categories. There's this middle area, though, that no one knows what the fuck's going on. Like, the dishwasher starts leaking and breaking, and we gotta figure all that out. And it's like, who's dealing with this? I'm dealing with this. Why aren't you dealing with this? And we had some conflict about that. And we had basically have a conversation of like, well, who's gonna figure out what? And you might say, well, why is that a confrontation? Well, because there's feelings there, right? Like, feelings of resentment I have about. I'm doing too much and she feels resentment. Like, she. You have no idea what I'm doing and how much is going on behind the scenes with the kids and all this stuff, right? So at the end of the day, we had to have a conversation. And guess what? It was uncomfortable. There was a little bit of conflict, a little bit of tension. Wasn't yelling and screaming or anything like that, but, you know, a conflict. It's uncomfortable. They're sort of like, we gotta work our way through this and get to resolution. But we did, and it was amazing. And then we had sex twice. It was awesome, right? So if you're married, conflict, hey, here's what a reframe for conflict, right? You. You have conflict, and all of a sudden maybe you get to have Sex, right? And if that's not what you're going for, maybe the person you're going to confront is your boss or whatever. So, you know, tread lightly there. But there is a good thing on the other end. That's the key thing. There's two things I want to share before we end this video that are going to help you apply this. One is to realize that with conflict, we're usually focused on like, oh, it's going to be so painful and awkward and bad things are going to happen. The truth is, good stuff's on the other side. Good things will come of it, even if there's temporary upset. And always remember, this upset is temporary. So maybe you're temporarily upset or they're temporarily upset, or you guys leave and you're not talking to each other or whatever, that's okay. You keep talking, you keep working through it. And on the other side is something much better. You clear the air. Deeper connection, deeper friendship, deeper relationship, more intimacy, better working relationship. You solve the problem. And again, I could give you a million examples with Candice, with people I work with, with clients, you confront the issue and then it gets better afterwards. That's the first key insight. The second key insight is, look, avoidance. You might think it's helping you. It's not. So in that moment, when you're avoiding that conflict, you get a moment of relief, right? You're like, oh, I don't have to do that. I just avoided like 24 discomfort points by not going and doing that uncomfortable thing, right? So you got yourself 24 bonus discomfort points you avoided, right? How much discomfort are you accumulating on a daily basis by not confronting that issue? Now, it might not be 24, it might not be as much as confronting, but it might be five. And then it's like this, like, permanent credit card debt interest that just keeps accumulating, you know, so first you start to feel uncomfortable or there's some resentment, and then you maybe start to avoid that person. And over time, you just start to feel weaker in the world because you're not confronting the issue and solving the problems in your life. So who's that person? What's the conversation that you've been avoiding? You probably know by now, so go do it. Let us maybe write in the comments below who it is. If they watch this channel too, then maybe they'll be like, what? Great, now we can have the conversation. Maybe it's a parent, maybe it's a friend, maybe it's a co worker, maybe it's a colleague, maybe it's a spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend? I don't know. You do. Go do it. Let us know how it goes. And you rock. By the way, well done on facing this. Most people don't. And that's why you're extraordinary. So until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.