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Dr. Aziz says avoiding hard conversations with friends slowly kills the friendship. Get specific about what bothers you and what you want instead, then tell them directly. Conflict handled well actually makes friendships stronger.
Dr. Aziz says avoiding hard conversations with friends slowly kills the friendship. Get specific about what bothers you and what you want instead, then tell them directly. Conflict handled well actually makes friendships stronger.
This is what you must know about handling conflict with friends. Most people think that you're not supposed to have conflicts with friends, and if you do, then something's wrong and you should just drift apart. And that's why most people can't sustain relationship over years or decades, even with really deep, beautiful friendship. First things first. Know that it's normal to have conflict, especially with someone that you're close with. Number two is to ask yourself, what is really bothering me? It might show up first as like, that person's so annoying or they were so selfish. Tune in, what is it that I really want? What do I not like? Be as specific as possible and ask yourself, what do I want instead? Maybe I want this person to be more curious about me. Maybe I want this person to be. To reach out to me more, to get back to me faster. Whatever it is that you want, get clear on what's bothering you and what you really want. And then go have the conversation with your friend. I know you don't want to, you want to avoid it, but that's going to just kill the friendship over time. It's going to create all this distance. So instead you just go to them and say, hey, notice there's something that's been bothering me and here's what was getting in the way and here's what I'm hoping for. What is your experience? You don't have to be perfect at it. Your friends, that's what life is, is to be real with each other. And you'll get stronger for it, you'll have better friendships for it, and your life is going to be that much richer as a result.
