A short motivational YouTube talk by Dr. Aziz about how different framings of the question “How can I…?” produce different outcomes. Using an anecdote about a coaching client with financial doubts and a flat-tire metaphor, the speaker contrasts a defeated tone (“How will I ever…?”) with a curious/problem‑solving tone (“How could I…?”) and encourages resourcefulness and curiosity to achieve goals.
Questions this video answers
Dr. Aziz.
Chapters
There are two ways to ask this question. How can I? And if you're asking it in one way, it's going to produce powerful, life changing results for you. And if you ask it in a different way. So just recently I was working with someone who was considering doing a coaching program with me and she was totally aligned. She was like, I want to do it. I know this is going to change my life. I've grown so much already from books and other things. I've done years. I'm ready to take it the next level with coaching. And. And I said, great. And she said, but I don't know about money. I have a challenge with money. I haven't saved it very much. I have bad credit because I went bankrupt a long time ago. Like there's no way I could invest in myself in this way. And she said, how do I get the money? I mean, I don't even know how I would get the money. I said, it's interesting the way you're asking that question. And maybe you ask that question, you're like, how would I get the money? Or how would I be able to. How would I on earth be able to date someone? How do I approach that person to start a conversation? I don't even know how to approach that person. I don't even know what to say. How do I know? How do I know? Right? And when we ask it that way, notice that energy and that tone. Is that a tone and an inquiry that's actually going to produce results? Imagine this. Imagine you were driving along a road and all of a sudden, thump. You know, one of your tires starts making a weird sound and it's flat. So you pull over to the side of the road, you're out in the middle of nowhere and you have all the parts to replace to put on a spare tire. You got the jack and the thing that can. I'm honestly not a car guy. You know the thing, the nut unscrewer thing, the T bar, you know what I'm talking about? I've done it. I've changed a tire like three times in my life because I had to. And you have all the stuff, but there's no one that's going to help you. Stranded desert road, right? And so you first get out and you're like, how do I change the tire? How am I going to even change this? I don't even know how to change this. How am I going to change this? Okay, cool. So is that going to produce any results? Probably not. But here's the thing. In that situation, you're going to get resourceful. Because in our regular life we ask like, how am I even going to approach that person? I don't even know how to approach that person. How am I going to get the money for this thing that I want? I don't even know. And then you just walk away and you leave and you settle and you give up and you don't approach that person. You stay small for another five months, five years, 50 years, right. And then. But in this situation with the flat tire, you can do that for a little While and then 30 minutes later you're getting hot, it's out in the middle of the desert, you're like, well, I guess I better figure this shit out. So what do you do? Then you ask the same question in a different way. And you say, I wonder how I'm gonna change this tire. How does this thing work? How does that. I wonder how those things go. I wonder how this jack works. And all of a sudden you just start to really push problem solve. That's what the second tone is. It's really problem solving. And with this woman, we got her to start asking the question, and you can do this with anything, especially with money that you want instead of, I can't, I can't. There's no way. How would I say, how could I afford that? How could I create that? How could I generate the wealth to do that? How could I get resourceful enough to make that happen if I really want it? And this is true for how could I approach that person? How could I solve this problem in my business? How could we get this out to X people? Whatever the goal that you have is, how could I do that and ask it with curiosity and really slowing down. And interestingly enough, when she really just slowed down and asked that question, she found a way. There was someone who was willing to loan her that money even though her credit wasn't good, because that person believed in her like she believed in herself. So the question I have for you is how are you going to solve whatever problem is that you're facing? And even more importantly, how are you going to ask that question? You're going to ask it from a place of giving up, upset, closed, or really looking to solve the problem. Beautiful. Share down below what you're learning, what you're finding most valuable from this video. Subscribe if you're enjoying them and you want more and until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
