Costas asks Dr. Aziz how to quit a job he hates when fear holds him back. Aziz says fear won't disappear before you leave, so visualize your next role and practice sitting with uncertainty instead of trying to eliminate it. You have to tolerate discomfort and move anyway, or you'll regret staying.
Do you dislike your job and want to leave, but you lack the confidence to do so? That's a question I'm going to answer in today's Q and A. In fact, the question is from Costas Sficas. How do you quit a job that you hate, but you fear there will be consequences? I'm doing a job that I really hate and want to pursue my dream job. I know deep down that that I can do it and will get doubts, though, like, it's too late because of my age. I'm worried if I do leave my job that I will not be able to find another one because I need the money. My point is, how do you overcome the fear of leaving a job that you hate? That's a great question. Let's talk about that most simply in its distilled form. How do we overcome any fear? We do it. There is no way that I've discovered to overcome a fear in completely in advance. Now, there are some techniques you can use to help you with that. In the one sort of more personal development realm, there's like, just visualize what you want, really flush out what you want, what your dream job is. See yourself doing the dream job, and those can be powerful techniques. So if you haven't done that, you might want to experiment with that. The other side, the more meditative, mindful eastern approach, which is more about surrender and into the flow of life, into the dao, is you don't have to control, you don't have to make it happen. Just imagine leaving your job. Imagine going and pursuing that thing and then all that fear and uncertainty that arises, you just sit with it, you meditate with it, you be with it until you can tolerate it. Because that's the biggest thing here. It's not about whether you're going to succeed or fail. It's can you tolerate the uncertainty and the discomfort? That's going to be the biggest thing. Because in order to go for something great and not settle for something that you don't like, you gotta let go of what you don't like. And in this case, casa, for you it's a job, but for other people, it could be a relationship. There's a lot of people I talk to that are in relationships that they know are not right for them. They've been considering leaving for months or years, and the only reason they haven't is because of fear of letting go and fear of guilt, fear of feeling like a bad person. And in this case, for your job, it's maybe a fear of I'm gonna run out of money. I'm gonna die out there. So what we need to do is we need to let that go in order to get to something better. And that's a leap, right? It's a risk. So we try to get total certainty by saying, no, it's totally gonna work out. I totally believe it's gonna work out. I believe that it's gonna work out. I can visualize it's gonna work out. Boom. Now I feel doubt. But then the doubt creeps back in. And can you sustain that 100% total certainty all the time before you've done it? Probably not. So it's not about getting certainty that it's going to go the way that you want. It's about getting certainty that this is how I want to live my life. I don't know what's going to happen when I take that risk. But I know one thing. I'm not the kind of person who's going to settle into a job I hate for the rest of my life for safety. Fuck that. I'm going to go for something that I want. I'm going to create something I'm going to. Or go down trying. I'm the kind of person who's going to do that. You know what? If I try something that doesn't work, I. I'm going to try something else. And if that doesn't work, I'm going to try something else. And if that doesn't work, I'm going to try something else. And whether you know what those things are, you might be able to create a list of things that you're going to do, or different methods you're going to take to create that dream job, whatever that is for you. Or you just trust that you'll find those things because you're a determined mofo and you're going to do it. And that is where we believe in ourselves. Not that we're going to get the outcome right away, but that we are unstoppable. That's why I have this wristband and I wear it all the time. That's why it's the name of my Mastermind program for people that work with me for a year at a time in a group. It's called the Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind. It doesn't mean you hit every target. It doesn't mean you don't fail. It means you're unfucking stoppable. And so if you fall, you get back up and you do it again. And if you fall, you get back up and you do it again and again and again and again and again until you find a way to create the life that you want. And you might end up doing something totally different than your dream job. Maybe you discover something else. Maybe life has something way different in store for you. But I'll tell you this, what life doesn't have in store for you is to stay settled and safe and small in that job or that relationship or that thing that you hate. And you know you want to leave, but you're only staying there out of fear because you are going to regret that as the years go by, as the decades go by, and you're going to regret that more and more. And then eventually it does become too late. You know, you're 60 years old, 70 years old. Maybe you can. Maybe at that point you got some stuff you just got to really focus on to make sure you have money for yourself as you get older. Although there's people that take risks at that age, too. So act now, take that risk, and you won't regret it. You might have moments of regret, but overall, in the scheme of your life, you won't regret it. And remember, you can handle anything that happens. Thanks for being with me until we. Oh, by the way, if you're benefiting from this, there's a whole course inside of Confidence University called Career Acceleration, where we go in depth and over, like 30 lessons about identifying how you want to progress in your career. Are you in the right career, do you want to change jobs or change careers, how to have the confidence to do so. And then, of course, when you're in the career that you want, how to accelerate, how to go faster and earn more, develop into a leadership position and really have the confidence to live life on your terms when it comes to your work and career. So check out theconfidenceuniversity.com if what we're talking about here is like something you need, you got to go through that course. So go to theconfidenceuniversity.com I hope this serves you, Costas and anyone else and until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
