Dr. Aziz explains how to stop freezing in conversations: quit hunting for the perfect thing to say and ask slightly weird questions instead. He asked someone about cougar attacks after they mentioned camping, which sparked a bear story and led somewhere real.
Here's the secret to always know what to say next in conversations. This is coming from a guy who lived with a lot of social anxiety and always felt restricted and unsure what to say. And my conversations always kind of fell flat, and it made me afraid to talk to people because what if I had that first interaction and then I don't know what to say? Here is the secret. It's letting your mind go more broadly and not being so narrowly trying to follow the script of saying the right thing. There is no right thing. So let yourself be more spontaneous. Say something that's a little out there or absurd. Ask a question that's a little strange. So the other day, someone was saying they were camping out in the woods with their friends, and. And you could say, oh, cool, where'd you go camping? Or did you have fun? Not bad questions, but also the conversation might dry up. So instead I say, out in the woods with friends. Any cougar attacks? It's absurd, right? I'm sure he did not have a cougar attack, but I said it anyway. And actually he said no, but a bear did go into our campsite. And now all of a sudden, you have a fascinating interest. You can ask a ton of questions about that, like, what happened? Did it steal any food? Did it break in anyone's tent? And because you went outside of the box, you can have a conversation that's way more interesting.
