How To Attract The Women You REALLY Want...By Being Yourself (Replay)

Hey, everybody, it's Dr. Aziz here, and welcome to today's teleseminar, which is called how to attract the women you really want, all by being yourself. How to attract the women that you really want all by being yourself. And it's funny because I was putting a little graphic together for this, and it was hard. I didn't quite have space for the all by being yourself part of the title. And so I thought about taking it off. I was like, how to attract the women you really want to. But then I realized that the all by being yourself part is actually one of the most important parts, because there's so much stuff out there that's about techniques and tactics and pickup artists, this. And it's all trying to teach you how to just do these external manipulations, try to get the other person to be a certain way. And it's really not about that. It's about how to maximize your confidence and be your most full, confident self. And that is what's going to attract the woman that you want into your life. Not much of this, your techniques and tactics, and trust me, I've tried a lot of those, and I've worked with a lot of clients who tried that stuff, and it doesn't quite work as well as getting this inner game handled where you're just fully confident in yourself. And that's what we're going to dive into today. I'm excited to be with you here today because I believe that today could be a turning point for you. Today could be a profound shift for you. And sometimes when we think about transformation or shifts, we think about something really dramatic, you know, like the heavens are going to open up and the lightning bolts going to come down. But really, change happens in a much more simple, powerful way. It happens with a decision. And today, right now, as you're listening to me talk, you might make a decision inside of yourself that's going to shift the entire course the rest of your life. You're going to learn some really powerful tools and strategies and techniques. And maybe it's something I say, maybe it's something that a caller says way that I answer their question. But you can just make a decision like, oh, I'm going to do that, or I'm going to figure that out, or I'm going to take that action, and then your life is never the same again. That's what happened to me many years ago. I know that's exactly what happened for you today. So before we get started, go ahead and turn off any distractions. You know, if you're listening on the phone, that's great. If you're on the computer, I know the Internet's right there, but see if you can just close all other windows and just have this open, maybe even step away from your computer and, and just lean back or get to another side of the room so you're not tempted to just flick around because the more focused you can be on this, the more powerful your results are going to be. So today we're going to be focusing on three major things. First, you're going to create a crystal clear vision of the woman you really want to meet, date and make your girlfriend. Then you're going to discover the three mistakes that you're making now that actually drive women away. And how to turn these around, how to change these instantly. And then you're going to learn how to blast through your fear of talking to any woman anywhere, anytime. So you can just go start out there and meeting amazing women today, right now. And we're also going to end with my most powerful confidence secret that has helped me multiply my confidence by 10 in the last few years. And this one is just absolutely life changing. So you're going to want to stay tuned for that. We're also going to do some Q and A over the phone line or through the webcast. I see a lot of good questions coming in, so I'll be sure to answer as many of those as I can. And I have some bonuses for those of you making the call. If you're listening to this recorded, you probably have missed these, but that's okay. There's a huge amount of valuable stuff, so keep listening. But I'm giving away a free copy of my program 30 days to dating mastery, which usually goes for $4.97. So be sure that you stay tuned for that. And I'll also be giving away a few free sessions with me, which currently are worth $650 an hour. That's what people pay me at this point because I have such a limited amount of one on one time. So lots of good stuff. Let's dive in. So the first thing is who do you really want to date? Let's think about this for a second. Who do you really want to date? In fact, close your eyes for a second and really just imagine, just think about that. Who would man, what would really excite me? What would feel amazing to me? Who would I want to be with? And what picture do you see? What does she look like? What does she move like? What does her laugh sound like? What Is she into what kinds of hobbies, passions, interests does she have? What does she wear? Really? Make a vivid picture in your mind of who would excite me most. Maybe it's someone you know, maybe it's someone you don't know. But just like, ooh, that's the one. Yeah. Like, you get this excited feeling. That's what you want. Someone that really excites you. Good. Now make it more vivid, more bright in your mind, because the more vivid you can get on this, the more clear you can get, the more power you have. Clarity is power, and that's more. You're closer to making this a reality for you than when you're vague and you're not quite sure. And the reason we're doing this is because something might be coming up for you right now. And I know it is for me for many years, where I wouldn't even really let myself see what I wanted. I really wouldn't let myself visualize what excited me most. I just would think, oh, it's not going to happen. I can't get her anyway. What's the point? Why would she want to be with me? I'm not good enough. I mean, I have all these reasons, all these stories that would stop me from being able to really even see what I wanted and imagine that it was possible for me. So if you're experiencing that right now, then you're in the right place. You're thinking, like, I can't. That's not gonna happen. And that's good that you're seeing that, because you can learn how to shift that. You can learn how to break free of that right now. But some of you might just actually got excited. So whatever happened for you, that's. That's good. But you want to get clear, like, who am I most drawn to? If you feel some tension or some weirdness about it, like, you're not going to be able to be with that person, or she's not going to want to be with me, then stay tuned because we're going to work through that, how to shift that. And maybe now is a good time for first free bonus gift. Those of you tuning in, if you want to get started on how to just get out there and talk to women, I wrote a. I got so many people to ask me those questions that actually wrote an e book about it. And it's called how to Start Conversations with Women Anywhere, anytime. And you can get yourself a copy of that for free if you just go to 30 Days to Dating Mastery Calm. That's the number three zero days to dating mastery.com and you can enter your email there and you'll get a free copy of any book, how to Start Conversations with Women Anywhere. So that'll help you really start to get some momentum in this area, help you see that it's not so hard. And there's no. Don't worry, there's no weird pickup lines. It's just really how to work on yourself, overcome the fears in yourself and just get out there and start talking to women and. And really see how easy it can be. You don't have to overthink it. You don't have to come up with the best line in the world. Simple stuff works incredibly well. So check that out. To help get you started on your path, let's dive into three mistakes that you're making right now that drive women away. And then we'll get into some of the other stuff, some of the Q and A, and give out that free copy of 30 Days to Dating Mastery. So three mistakes that drive women away. The first one you're doing right now is a thought in your mind that goes something like this. She's out of my league. She's out of my league. You know what I'm talking about? You might have just even had this when you were visualizing the woman you wanted, right? On the coattails of. That might have been a sense of like, oh, she's out of my league. I'm. Who am I? I'm not good enough for that. Right? And so we have this, like, filter that we put on that says, okay, these are the ones that I'm. That are. That are, quote, my level and my league. And those are the ones that are not. Those are the ones that are untouchable to me. And I don't know where this shit comes from. Probably high school, where there's all this weird social hierarchy and all this stuff where we just buy into it and we believe it. That, oh, so, oh, you can't. You can't be with her. She's a cheerleader and you're a nerd. I don't know what we got this stuff, but most men, almost all men, know that phrase out of my league and carry it with us all over the place. And this actually, not only does it make you not try with a lot of women that you'd be really attracted to. In fact, the one that you really visualize and wanted, you might not even go approach her because of this. But it gets even worse that if you do go talk to her, that will actually Repel her. That will repel her. If you are thinking to yourself, she's out of my league, because some part of you is saying, I don't deserve this. I'm not good enough for this. I shouldn't have this. This shouldn't be. And so you drive it away. We sabotage it. And it can be subtle. It can be you stop yourself from even talking to her. Or it could be you start talking to her and maybe it starts to go well, and then you exit real quick. Have you ever done that? Oh, shit, it's going well. Jump ship, you tell me. Leave. So there's so many different ways that we can do this. And it's subtle, it's energetic. She picks up on it. If you're thinking to yourself, she's out of my league, then you're dead in the water. Because think about it like this. Let's say you showed up for a job interview and you were like, hey, I'm not that qualified. I probably can't do the work very well. I'll probably be late a lot, and I'm probably going to mess up. Most of the projects want to hire me. How's that going to work? No, they're not going to want to hire you. And if you go to a woman and you're like, I'm kind of a loser. My pants don't fit that well. That guy over there is cooler, more muscular and suave than I am. I don't really like myself that much. Want to date me? Right? So, no, it doesn't work. She's going to value you as much as you value yourself. So if you want to break free of this, if you want to get rid of this mistake and really approach women with confidence, you have to see, hear, feel, and know on a deep level, your value. See, feel, and know your value. Well, how do I know my value? Look, just go for a long walk with no headphones and just focus in on your value. Get really clear that you have something amazing to offer anyone, especially a woman. Why are you amazing? Just feel it in your body. Just, I am awesome. I am amazing. I have so much to offer in a relationship. I'm kind, I'm intelligent, I'm loving, I'm attractive. I'm a great soul. I'm an exciting person. Really get in touch with your value and stop all the bullshit that says you're not. I mean, it's totally fabricated that you're not. And you might say, well, Zeef, how can you say everyone's valuable? Look, being alive makes you Worthy of love. You don't have to earn it. You don't have to have the right clothes. You don't have to look a certain way. You are loved just for who you are, and you deserve love just for who you are. And you are worthy and you have value just for who you are. And when you get clear on that, the doors are really going to start opening up for you. So that's the first one, the second one. Second mistake that is driving women away is approval addiction. Grasping for approval, squeezing internally for approval. Your innards, your guts are tight because you need her approval. That's gonna drive her away. And I don't mean drive her away, like running out of the room screaming or something like that. I just mean, like, meh, not that interested. I'm gonna exit the conversation. I'm gonna look for someone else to talk to, or, you know, I'll text you back, but I'm not gonna initiate texting with you. Or you want to, you know, we'll text a little bit, but I'll never be available for a date. That's the kind of driving away that I mean, where they're just not attracted to you, they're not dating you. It's not going awesomely. And that one of the main things that does that is that approval addiction, when you're trying to grasp at her and grab for something. And we do this on all kinds of ways, basically. And usually the more attracted we are to her, the more we do this, right? Where you could be a woman that you work with that not that attracted to, and you're just whatever, just yourself, runner. And all of a sudden there's that one that comes in, you're like, oh, God, she's purdy. And. And then you just start, yeah, is she going to like this? Is that cool? Is that good enough for her? Does my. How does my hair look? Is she going to find this funny or not? Should I make that joke or should I not? Should I ask her this or not? And everything is getting filtered through. Is she going to like this or not? And not only does that make you feel tightened, kill your spontaneity, kills your sense of humor. It also energetically drives her away because you're wanting something for her. You want to take something from her. I need you to approve of me, for me to feel good about myself. And no one wants that burden. No one does. She doesn't want it. And this is all happening, like, subconsciously and energetically. You're saying this to her, but she feels it. So what you want to do is you want to let go of the need for her approval. I don't need her approval. I don't, and you don't. You're fine. If she doesn't like you, that's okay, because remember, you own your value from the first one you're talking about. You know, you're awesome in your core. So, okay, she's not into me. Who's next? That's the attitude you want to have. That's where you can feel that strength in your core of knowing your value. That's going to help you not need the approval from her. And usually that compulsion of, I need her approval, that's just a pattern. That's just an unquestioned assumption or idea. But experiment with it. What if. What if the next time you talk to a woman, you told yourself right before you did it, I don't need her approval. I don't need you to approve of me at all. You said that in your mind as you're walking up to talk to her, I don't need your approval. I don't need to do anything. I'm just going to show up, see what happens. Wow. Can you imagine that? You could be a lot more liberated if you can do that. It's powerful. So that's. The second one is giving up the approval, the third one, and I came up with a name for this. It's. It was called Mr. Passive Pants. Mistake number three is Mr. Passive Pants. And Mr. Passive Pants is what happens is when we get around a woman, especially one that we're attracted to, we're so into, like, you know, approval seeking and making sure that she likes everything we do, that we don't want to make any decisions. So it's like, where do you want to go? I don't know. Where do you want to go? What time are you free? What time you want me to pick you up? What do you want to order? What movie do you want to watch? What do you want to listen to? And we just defer all our leadership to her. And this might be happening in many areas of your life, but that's. That. That just drives women away. That's not what they want. They want someone who knows himself, who's decisive. She's not looking to others. She wants a leader. I don't mean you have to be the leader of a company or something, but I mean just a leader in your own life, a social leader, where you just say what you want. Hey, I want to go here. Let's do this. I want to do that. Or what do you think about this? Let's do this. And you're suggesting things, you're offering things, you're asserting things. You saying what you want, you're claiming what you want, you're owning it. You're leading in your life. That's what she wants. That's what's going to bring her closer to you. But if you're Mr. Passive Pants, that is going to drive her away really fast. And don't think that you're being super flexible and accommodating. Nope, nope. It has the opposite effect. You're not going to get her attracted in that way. And really, you're not even being yourself when you do that. Because the truth is, you do have a preference. Even if you say, no, I'm pretty flexible. I don't have a preference. I would assert that you've just disconnected from your own wants, from your own power, from your own decisiveness because you're scared about other people not liking your choices or feeling responsible for everyone's experience at whatever place you choose to go to. So, you know, social leaders step up. And you know what's amazing is you can ask a woman out without what's going on there. We're going to send that to voicemail. Got to figure out how to block my line so people aren't calling me when I'm doing these things. I don't know if any of you caught the last one, but my estranged aunt was call bombing me in the last call me like five times during the last one of these, so I got to figure that out. But anyway, I mean, you know, you can be really assertive in the whole process. And going up and talking to her, that's less social leadership, right? Not waiting for her to initiate talking to you. Even in the way you ask a woman out, you can be more of a leader. So instead of, you know, a lot of guys will be interacting, it's going well, and they want to ask her for a number and they'll flip into Mr. Passive Pants. So maybe we could hang out sometime. What's your number? Right? And their voice tone gets really passive and quiet and they sort of lose all that energy and power and mojo. But you can, you can ask a woman out in a really assertive way. In fact, you can ask a woman out without even asking a question. You can just say, hey, I love talking to you. We should hang out sometime. Give me your number. So you hear that? We should hang out sometime. Give me your number. Both of those are statements. There's power in doing that. And you'd be amazed at the responses you get the more you're able to bring that into your life and do more and more of that. So those are the powerful ways to start breaking free of those mistakes. And in a moment we're going to get into some questions and then we're going to give out a copy of 30 Days to Dating Mastery. I do also want to let you know that I'm giving out a currently giving out a handful of sessions to people calling them attract your ideal girlfriend session where you and I are going to sit down one on one and determine exactly what kind of woman you'd want to be your girlfriend. Then we're going to uncover your hidden challenges that could be sabotaging your ability to easily meet, attract and date the kinds of women that you want. And you're going to leave feeling renewed, re energized and inspired to put yourself out there and attract an amazing, beautiful woman into your life. And right now, typically people pay me upwards of 2,000amonth or more to do this work with them. Usually 650 an hour because I have such a limited amount of one on one time. But I want to offer these to you because you're on this call, you're obviously motivated. I want to help you break free like I did. Like you don't have to be stuck in this way. So I'm going to be giving several of these away for free. My schedule is pretty full, so I can only do a small number. But if you want to take advantage of this, send me an email@drazizocialconfidencecenter.com that's-R A Z I zocialconfidencecenter.com and just say you're interested in the free session and I'll get back to you. I'll send you a little questionnaire to fill out and then I'm not going to be able to get to everyone because my schedule is so full. But I'll pick a few at random and we can do that. Okay, let's look at some questions. I want to see if we can answer some questions from people who want to talk to me. So if you want to raise your hand, you can on your phone you can press star two. That's right, Star two to raise your hand and I'll actually talk to you for a little bit and we'll see if we can help you maximize your confidence in dating. Okay. Sarah? Sarah? Hello, Bait. Hello? Hey, doctor, who am I talking to? This is Ali. Actually It's Ali. Yeah, Ali from la. Ali from la. What's up? I can hear you loud and clear. Awesome. Yes. Thank you for your time, by the way. You are most welcome. Alrighty. So, yeah, basically, my, my. I've just been listening to this whole thing, but, like, one of the things I have issues with is just approaching the girl or just like, when I approach, like I lose my breath sometimes, you know, it just drives me nuts. So how can I avoid that? Yeah. Okay, so. So tell me a little more. You, you. You're. You're able to go up and talk to a woman that you're interested in, but then you lose your breath? Is that the problem? Yeah, I mean, I have. It doesn't happen often, but when I do, you know, it's like I haven't figured out and I'm pretty confident before going up to her, but then like, when I do, it's like, damn, like, shit. Like I'm starting to like, kind of forget what I wanted to say in the first place. And like I started like, you know, like my breath is like kind of like going away and I'm trying to like struggle for air. So sometimes, you know, it's like not all that. That, that'll. That'll happen to me. Yeah, sure. And then, and then what do you do when you start to struggle for air? Get nervous. I mean, basically. I mean, I play it off, but like, I don't. I don't say what I wanted to say originally, you know. Sure. Basically I like summarize what I thought I was gonna say in a quick little comment or something. Yeah, all the, all the brilliant stuff that you planned ahead of time. Yeah, exactly. It's not like the corny game thing. It's like the thing, like sincere stuff I wanted to say to her, you know, it's like, wow, you know, like genuine person or something. It'll say like, I'll say like, wow, you're beautiful. You know, like, let's hang out or something. Great. Yeah. So how could I avoid that? That's great. I mean, first of all, just want to highlight. You're doing all kinds of awesome stuff. I mean, being able to walk up to someone that you're excited about and drawn to and just saying, wow, I think you're really beautiful. I want to talk to you. Like, that's. I mean, if you can do that, that's pretty cool. I mean, most people can't do that. I mean, it doesn't happen so often, but I'm in, like, tired, you know, Like, I'VE been. I've been trying to recover from a breakup and everything, and I've been in a slump and. Sure. You know, just trying to. Trying. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of. I'm trying to get out of the. My slump. So. Yeah, whatever. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. That's great. So. So your question is, is basically how to be less scared as you do it? Is it fear that makes your breath tighten, do you think? I don't know. I don't know. It's like maybe. Maybe it's got to do with confidence or something or what? It. Yeah. Yeah. I get kind of. I don't know, nervous, I guess. I mean, I don't know. I don't know how to say it, what I go through. Sure, absolutely. Well, let me ask you a question. Sure. When you're about to go talk to that woman that you're really drawn to and you're excited to talk to her, what are you. What are you thinking about or what are you focusing on right before you're going to go talk to her? Wow. I don't know. I've never thought of that. I don't think I think of anything. Not consciously. Not that you're aware of, but I'm guessing. Right. I mean, yeah, I think I'm, like, pretty much in the moment. I don't think I'm. I'm not even scared of, like, a. No. But I don't know, I'm just. I don't know, maybe it's like my verbal skills or something or maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think I really think of anything. Sure, sure. So you're not quite aware what you're thinking right before. And right before you go talk to her, is your breathing fine? Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's like I go, you know, like the first few seconds are fine, and then she says like, you know, like she'll smile or something. And then like. I mean, how do I say? Like, my. My stomach just goes empty, you know, and I'm struggling there. Right. Okay. So it's not before, it's. Right. It's somewhere during the conversation that this will kick in. Yeah, you could say that. Okay, interesting. And does it happen? The example you just gave there is where she smiles at you. Yeah. Smile or says something back. And I realize I'm actually, like, you know, I'm talking to her, and then, I don't know, I start forgetting things. Yeah. I love it. So it's like, you Know, we have this fear of, like, oh, she's not going to talk to me. And then all of a sudden it's like, it's on. Like, hey, she's into this. Then it's, oh, shit, she's into this. Exactly. Like, what the hell do I do now? Totally. I relate to that a lot. And you'd be surprised how common that is, that there's actually this fear of succeeding in this way. And there's a couple things that could be going on there. One is that if we got. If we have pain from a recent experience with a woman, there's a part of us that doesn't want to feel that pain again. Right. And so we know, wow, connecting with this woman could equal pain. And there's a part of us that can get really anxious or tense around that. Scared. Tense. Doesn't want to feel pain again. Sure. And since you mentioned that you had a tough breakup recently or trying to get over, I wonder if there's a part of you that's sort of, like, hesitant about jumping in. I mean, I don't know. Maybe subconsciously, maybe that's it. But I don't think. I mean, because I used to be very, like. I mean, I speak a completely different person than I am now. You know, I didn't have trouble talking to people, but now it's like, it's completely different. So maybe. Maybe you're right. Maybe it's unconscious, but I don't think it's not. I don't think it's really pain. I think it's just me being nervous. And, you know, it's because, like, all the spotlight is on me. Mmm. Feel the need. To me, a spotlight makes me think of performance. Yeah, I guess. You know, just. Yeah. Just basically the. The tension being on me part is kind of weird, you know, me being singled out. No. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, sometimes when. When we're worried about whether it's talking to a woman or sometimes we're the center of attention of a group or even public speaking when we're. When all eyes are on us and there's a fear about that. I would be curious to know, like, it's possible to actually really enjoy that and what the difference between enjoying it and feeling uncomfortable with it is actually. How much we let in our own awesomeness. It's a very technical term, by the way, but how much we let our own. Sorry, I didn't get that. Sure. How much we let in our own awesomeness, how much, you know, that you're awesome determines how much you enjoy the spotlight. So, for example. And that's why I was asking what you think before you go talk to her. And maybe you're not aware of it, and maybe it's nothing. Maybe you're, like, zenned out before. But usually when people go talk to someone they're attracted to, there's some version of, oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit, here we go. I hope I don't mess this up. Man, this better go good. I better do it right. Pull this off. You know, we're trying to, you know, focus on it. And there's some version. There's some energy of, like, I gotta win her over or I hope this goes okay, versus, like, something like this. I am the man. I'm the fucking man. Like, dude, she is gonna love me. I'm awesome. I me, who could. Who would not love me? Of course. I'm like, the more we can really know that and have that energy and attitude inside of us, the more we can actually really enjoy and let in that. That positive connection and energy. So I'm going to need to move forward here. But that's just something for you to think about. Ali is like, how to definitely know that. Yeah. Know your awesomeness. And a powerful way to do that is to actually use that language in our minds. And, I mean, I'll have people say the craziest shit, like, I'm a deadly handsome man. On repeat in their mind or before you go talk to anyone. This is a great technique. Put you back on mute here. A great technique for anyone. Conversation with anyone, whether it's a woman or a man or anyone. Is the world is a friendly place. Just repeat that in your mind as you walk towards the person and take breaths into your body. Feel your body. Just say to yourself, the world is a friendly place. The world is a friendly place. The world is a friendly place. And then you have this shift in your physiology and your mindset. Away from approval, away from not messing it up, to really being able to connect and have an awesome experience with this person. So thanks for the question, Ellie. That was awesome. Let me check. Q and A. Okay. How to flirt without being obvious. That's interesting. How can I be more fun to talk to? That's a good one. Let me pause for just a second here and think about how to do the next bit of time here. So. Let's do this. Let's give a copy of 30 Days to Dating Mastery Away. Huh? How about that? All y' all who are on the call, get your chance to get this. I'm Just going to pick someone at random here, but 30 days to dating Mastery, if you haven't heard about it, is a program that I created that I think is different than pretty much anything else out there. It actually came out of working one on one with a client, and he was trying to work on his confidence, particularly for dating and relationships. And he's like, you know what I really would need a Z that would really help me is, like, if I had something to do every day, if I just had, like, a simple mission that I could accomplish each day that would be getting me closer and closer to having this dating confidence. That would be awesome. I was like, whoa, that is a brilliant idea. What if every day you had a mission and each mission built on the one before it? So by the end of 30 days, you were a totally different person when it came to dating and relationships and confidence in yourself. And by different person, I mean all of you. You really brought all of you out. You let go of the hidden sort of hiding in yourself afraid kind of place, and you're fully confident in yourself. And so I created this program, 30 Days to Dating Mastery, where each day you have a strategy session that teaches you something about your inner game, about confidence, about how to change the way you relate to yourself. And then a mission that you must complete that day. And they're small at first, but they're little things that you do either in your own mind or in an exercise journal or something, or out in the world. And it progresses, starting really small, from the inner game stuff to the outer world to starting conversations with anyone, not even necessarily attractive women yet, but just anyone. And then you build your way up step by step. It's gradual exposure. It's incredibly powerful. And then you can do all kinds of things, like starting conversations, eliminating your fear of embarrassment, blasting through your fear of rejection, interacting with women, flirting, getting numbers, dating, how to be more relaxed around sex. All that stuff is in there. And there's no weird pickup lines or manipulation tactics. It's just you being your awesome self and really, truly connecting with women. And, you know, I think I want to say about the pickup artist stuff is some of it's good, but a lot of it is the exact opposite of how to create a real, lasting, awesome relationship with a woman, you know, like, quote unquote, freezing her out when she doesn't do what you want, which means, like, stonewalling her. That shit doesn't work in a relationship, you know, so these tactics and techniques, which were, you know, a lot of them came out of like the bar scene and club scene and how to sleep with women one night stands. And you can do that with this stuff if you want to have shorter relationships and stuff. But you can do it in a way that feels really good to you too. So let's do that now. So let's pick someone for to win 30 days to dating Mastery. The person is. Okay, that was a random pick. We got Carl. Carl, you, my friend, have won a copy. Let's put you on mute. Hey, Carl. Hello, can you hear me? Wow. Yeah. Hello, Carl. I can hear you. Your line is wow. Okay, I'm going to meet you. I'm sorry my friend, but your line is kind of brutally bad. So unfortunately we can't have you. I would love to talk with you more, but you get a free copy of 30 Days to Dating Mastery. So I have your information here. I will be in touch with you via email and I will send you all the details about how to get that program. So congratulations for everyone else. You can still get your copy. I am doing a promotion right now that is coming going to go on for I think the next four days ends on Sunday, March 1, 2015 where you can save $200 and get your copy for just $2.97 or three payments of 1 27. You can go to 30daystodatmastery.com special. That's 3 0daystodatingmastery.com special s p e cial. There's a video at the top of there that says the price is whatever $4.97 or something. Just ignore that. It's $2.97. If you click the button you can get it for $2.97 for the next four days. Four or five days until March 1st. Oh, one more thing about that. The first five people that invest in themselves by getting this program the 30 Days Today Master. The first five people who get it get a free one on one session with me, which people currently pay me $650 or more for to get an hour of my time. So we'll help you remove any obstacles that are in your way to make sure you get the maximum progress from the program, help you feel more comfortable talking to any woman, getting your number, getting dates, and finally having this area of your life handled, which feels amazing. So first five people to get the program at 30 days to datingmastery.com special will get a free session with me. So let's talk a little more about how to deal with fear, how to blast through your fear. Because really when you think about it. The biggest thing that stops you from dating the women you want is fear, isn't it? Fear of rejection, fear of her not liking me, fear of it working out, as we found out, talking to Ollie, right? It's fear. Always this fear. So we got to learn how to deal with fear, how to blast through fear. And one of the biggest areas that it comes up is in hesitation, is you see someone you want to talk to and you talk yourself out of it. I mean, how many times have you done this? I know. I myself did this thousands of times in my life where I just would, no, no. You know, it wasn't even valid reasons. Most of the time it was like, now is not the time. I'll do it later. She probably has a boyfriend, other people around, and they'll hear she's out of my league, blah, blah, blah, blah. Those are all excuses. It's fear, right? It's fear underneath that stops us from just going over and doing it. So how do we blast through this fear? And the answer to that is the do muscle. The do muscle. Do is in do did you know? It's a muscle that you can build, you can strengthen. Don't think. Do the do muscle. So you can. You can get in the habit of taking action, of being of just like. So most of us, what happens is we get into our mind, we want to figure it out, and then we hesitate and we hold back and we stop. But you need to, like, build this, like, power in you to say, there's something I want, I do. There's something I want, I do. There's something I want, I do. And you just keep, like, you build that into your. Into your life. And if you don't have to start with going over and walking those three women that you see sitting at a table, and you're like, wow, they're beautiful. You know? And you say, I'm just going to do it. You might not be able to. The fear might be too great. And that's okay. You don't want to attack yourself. And you learn that in the program 30 days. Like, you don't want to attack yourself, and you learn how not to do that. But so the do muscle is start small, where there's something that you're a little afraid of, you're a little uncomfortable around, and instead of shying away from it and turning and veering the other way, you turn directly into it and move towards it with force, power, and conviction. Even if you're scared shitless, you just go directly into it. So pick Something small. You'll see opportunities throughout the day. You can generate some of them if you want. Like that example of walking down the street and making eye contact with everyone. That's the do muscle. Maybe there's a situation, you're talking to someone and something crosses your mind and you're like, oh, I could say that. I don't know about that. Just bam. Do you blurt it out? There's a person like, do you know, you give yourself two seconds and you do two seconds and you do two seconds and you do. And you can build this up. And the more that you do that, the more it becomes habitual and second nature and conditioned into your body and your nervous system to where you can just do where most people will hesitate, stop, slow down, falter. So the dew muscle is one of the most powerful habits to form in your life. Another thing that's incredibly powerful is to learn how to be with your fear without running away from it. So what happens is fear is part of being human. You know, it's built into our nervous systems. We're organisms on this planet. Everyone feels fear. Every animal feels fear. You know, worms feel fear, single cell amoebas feel some version of fear and that they'll run away from something toxic in a petri dish. You know, one can only guess what they're emotionally feeling. But. So everything feels fear. So you can't. You want to try to beat yourself up for having it or. But most of us can't tolerate it. We can't stand it. And when we feel fear, we think, I got to get that hell out of here. I got to do whatever it takes to stop this. And that's actually where most of the problems come in. So we feel scared and we flee the situation, or we feel scared and we, you know, go have a drink, or we check our cell phone 50 times to look like we're busy. We do something to try to avoid it. But there is tremendous power in going into it. And here's what I mean by that, to take it from concept into reality. What I'd like you to do is think about a situation that would scare you, particularly in the area of talking to women and dating and relationships. Maybe walking up and talking to a woman, maybe, you know, if you're Ali or something. Imagine that conversation with a woman where you get to that moment, maybe it's for you, it's not the starting of the conversation, it's the asking for her number. Or it's not just asking for her number. It's the, you know, Approaching several women at once, or approaching when someone else could be hearing you or something like that. Right. Whatever it is for you, think of that now, really imagine it. And then notice where you feel that fear in your body. Good. And you might feel it in your throat, in your chest, in your solar plexus, which is right at the base of your ribs, top of your stomach. It could be in your abdomen, could be below your belly button, could be in your neck, could be anywhere, it doesn't matter. And then what I'd like you to do is just close your eyes and focus right there on that sensation and just breathe and get out of your mind and into the sensations. Just notice, where is it? Is it moving? Is it stationary? Is it twisting? Or does it feel tight? Does it feel uncomfortable, comfortable? And just breathe and notice the sensations. And you don't need to stop thinking or anything. I mean, good luck trying to do that. Just let the thoughts go. They can be there. But just bring your attention back to your body and go to the center of that feeling where it's the most intense, the most uncomfortable. And just breathe. Just accept it. You don't need to change it, you don't need to fix it, You don't need to do anything with it. Just breathe. And if you want, you can actually send it love. Now, this is an interesting idea, and some people don't quite know what that means, but just, like, feel the sensation in your body and then just say I love you to it. I know it sounds a little weird, but just trust me on that. Just repeat that, I love you, I love you, I love you. While focusing on the sensation in your body and going right to the center of it. Good. So what are you noticing as you do this? And again, you're not trying to make it go away. You're not saying, oh, I paid attention for a minute. Why is it still here? Because if you're trying to make it go away, then it doesn't go away. It's kind of this paradox, but you're really just about focusing right in on it and accepting it. And the amazing thing about this is what happens is it frees you up so that you can be feeling fear in your body, but you're no longer so reactive to it. You're no longer, like, trying to get away from it, or you're not controlled by it. And then you can still go out into the world and do whatever it is you want to do, whatever you need to do now. So, for example, I, not too long ago, last summer, I was Giving a talk at one of my good friends wedding. And I was the gave a speech for the best man. The best man, his brother didn't want to do it and I was one of the groomsmen and I said, sure, I'll do it. And so it was maybe like 300 plus people there and the maid of honor was giving her speech. Now I know I was going up in just a minute and man, I just had these floods of like fear moving through my body, like, and I just paid attention to it. I just breathed and let it move through me. And then I got up and I did a kick ass, toast, kick ass speech. Because the fear. So you see what I'm saying, Like you can have fear and you can still take action. And it's the trying to get rid of the fear, hide the fear, not be the fear that actually causes so much of this tension inside of us. So what you really want to do is just practice that technique of just being with the sensation. It's sort of like a mindfulness awareness thing. If you want to learn more about this, check out Jon Kabat Zinn's an awesome author and mindfulness teaches some great stuff. So that's a powerful way to build your sort of muscle of being able to be with things. And of course, combine that with the do muscle and you got rocket fuel. So we're getting close to the end of our time here together today. I do want to talk about my most powerful confidence secret that's allowed me to 10x my confidence in the last couple years. Before I do that, let's check the Q and A, see if there's any questions. Oh, this is a great one. Okay. Okay, these are some great questions. One is, sir, Waleed is I love a girl and I know what to say to her and I know she has a boyfriend. I want her to know that. But the thing is, I'm scared to do it. Your advice, please. Okay, this is a great one. Professing long kept secret love generally produces a painful response for you. That's right. I'm sorry. I wish it weren't so. I wish it were more like the movies, like the romantic comedies where, you know, two people are dating and you know, not each other, but there. It's like a man and a woman and they're both dating different people. And then, and then, you know, like the end, you know, happen three quarters away from the movie. They're like, wait a minute, I've loved you all along. And the woman's like, really? You've loved me all along, and then they end happily ever after. And it doesn't work that way in my experience. Usually what's happening is one person, the man, me in this case for many years was engaged in what I call a fantasy relationship where you're looking at the woman and you love her and you pine after her, but you never really talk to her that much. You never really flirting, you never really went out. She has a boyfriend, but she's been building up this charge and building up this charge and there's this fantasy of like, I have to tell her, I just have to tell her. And. And we really don't just want to tell her. We want her to say, yes, I love you too. And I'm not going to say never because I don't know, I can't predict everything. But usually it doesn't work very well. Usually she doesn't. The feelings aren't reciprocated, unfortunately. So you can if you want, but. But I think it's better to. To redirect that energy elsewhere and create a real relationship with, with women in your life that are, that are. That's reciprocated. And usually we hang out in the fantasy relationship zone because it's safe. You know, we don't have to get rejected. We don't have to have risk anything really. And if you do love a woman and pine after a woman, but she's not available or doesn't seem interested in you or has a boyfriend, you know the best thing to do? Focus on yourself. Know your awesomeness. Go start talking to a lot of women. Really overcome your fear. And then, you know, keep flirting. You can start flirting with her or treating her, you know, in a way that might just be playful and fun and maybe some attraction could form there, but you're not necessarily going right after her and then eventually see what happens. That would be the best advice I have. And I know it's a great question because I know a lot of people have that idea of I'm going to, you know, reveal something and it's all going to go smoothly. And usually it does not. So that answers that question. Very uplifting, I know, but I hate to be honest with you guys. So Phil from Manchester says, when people are used to you being the quiet, nice guy, how do you start putting this stuff to work? Do muscle, my friend. It's the do muscle look. Don't let any pattern of, oh, this is how people see me, so I have to be that way. You don't want to put yourself in that cage. You can reinvent yourself now. You can reinvent yourself tomorrow when you go to work, or tomorrow when you hang out with your friends or you go talk to a woman or something, you can reinvent yourself right now. No one's holding you to this. I'm gonna say that again. No one is holding you to this in the way that you are. You're holding yourself to it, and you're, like, keeping it, like, oh, I got to do this because I got to be consistent. No one gives a shit. No one cares. You're dynamic. You can be different each day. And we're like, oh, but what if someone says something? Okay, so, you know, let's say you show up and you're more talkative and you're more bold. You just take some if you want to say how to do it. I'd say pick a small risk. So if you walk into work and you don't interact with anyone, just say hi to five people as you walk down the hall. Or if you're out with your friends and you never talk to anyone outside the group, just chat with a few people, you know, and maybe your friends say that's what's gotten into you, then just say, just being more social felt like talking to those people. Look, it doesn't matter what you say. It's your energy, right? And you just got to get okay with, like, yeah, I can be different. I'm dynamic, man. I can change every day. I can do something different every day. I'm not locked into this personality that I have to be. So that was my answer to. Okay, that's a great one. Marcus says, Hi, Dr. Aziz. Unfortunately, I don't have a mic, so I can't talk to you over the phone. But how to do exposure properly? I approach so many girls and face my fears, but I still have severe approach anxiety. So that's a great question. Let's see here. Let me give you the time. It's been an hour, and I want to make sure we touch on all the important details before I go on with some more Q and A here. So, yeah, I'm just going to wrap up the sort of teaching portion of the call, and then I'm just going to do a few more Q and A and we'll wrap up. And the reminder that until March 1st, if you want to get 30 days to Dating Master, you can get that for $200 off. And it's just one payment of 297 or three payments of 127, you can go to 30daystodatingmastery.com special. That's 30daystodatayourmastery.com the word special and you can get yourself a copy. And the first five people who invest in themselves by getting that program get a free one on one session with me to help them maximize their confidence in dating. And let's end here with my most powerful confidence secret. Are you ready for my most powerful confidence secret? This has allowed me to radically overcome any fear when it came to dating and relationships. This has allowed me to just put myself out there. A high level public speaking, business conversations, any social event, talking with people in authority, creating a business, increasing sales. Everything is built from this. And it might sound similar to something you've heard before, but there's a subtle distinction here that really made a difference. You ready? Make a life pattern, a philosophy, a way of being in the world of doing what scares you, do what scares you. And I don't mean, okay, I'm nervous. So, okay, I'm just going to get through this, okay? I know it's important, you know, to expose myself. So I'm going to get through this to get what I want. And then I'm not going to do stuff like that anymore because, you know, thank God I made it through. I mean that, that sort of feel the fear and do it anyway. The approach, that's brilliant. That's what I did for a number of years and it produced phenomenal results. They will help me overcome my anxiety of talking to women and other things. So, you know, feel the fear and do it anyway. But if you really want to have like a life of extraordinary confidence, it is to continually orient yourself to the thing that scares you. In fact, the thing that scares you most, that your mind says, oh my God, you can't do that. That's going to go horrible. You can't. There's no way that is the exact thing that you go towards. Like you go to the center of the center of the center of the fear and you keep going into it again and again and again as rapidly as possible. And holy shit, your entire life changes. Your confidence transforms. And that's what I've been doing for, I mean I was, you know, the last couple years is when I really, I mean I was always in the, maybe the last 10 years, kind of feel the fear and do it anyway was my philosophy. But in the last two years, maybe it's been do exactly what scares you. Go to the thing that's the most scary and do that, and then do that, and then do that and you just Leapfrog to higher and higher levels of confidence. So, I mean, that's some of the best advice I have for anyone who wants to kind of reach extraordinary levels of confidence. And that, of course, works well in dating. So how does that show up in dating? Well, it'll be like, there's a woman over there I want to go talk to, but there's people around, so they might hear it. Great. Go into that directly. You know, there's an opportunity to talk to two women together. Three women together. You know, the thing that scares you the most? Now, this is sort of advanced, and if you can't get there yet, I'd say start with, you know, feel the fear and do it anyway and work your way up. But if you really want to get to that next level, that's one of the most powerful ways that I could say on how to do that. And so that would conclude the teaching portion. I'm going to do a little bit more Q and a here for anyone who wants to just hang on the line and keep learning some awesome stuff. Looks like we got quite a few people sticking around, so I'm down to roll for a few more minutes on this, and let's look at some of the questions that are coming in. So, Marcus, your question about how to deal with approach anxiety. So, I've done it a lot, but I still have severe approach anxiety. So my sense then is there's probably a pattern of sort of. A negative or critical pattern of thinking that usually makes exposure work, not fully work. So what happens is, even though you've done it, I'd be really curious about your thoughts and how your mind works around it. So several things that could happen is even though you've done it, each time before you go do it, you say, I'm going to mess this up. This is not going to go well. They're not going to like me. That can create a lot of fear no matter how many times you've done it. Another one is the attitude in which you hold it right? Like, if you think to yourself, I got to pull this off. I got to be this smooth guy. I got to do it this way. I got to make sure I follow that technique. And you have all these kind of rules, this sort of performance thing that can make it feel really uncomfortable as well. Right. So that could produce it. Another thing could be a pressure that you put on yourself around. I am supposed to. For me, it would be like, I got to be this amazing, suave guy who just totally blows her off her feet and she's totally in love with me. Every woman I talk to, you know, and that could put a lot of pressure on you that could make the approach anxiety persist. So there's several different things, but I think the key is going to be how do you relate to yourself? And the solution to all those different things is to. Is to really shift how you are with yourself to a place of a lot more compassion, a lot more acceptance of yourself. Like, it's okay. However it goes, it's fine. I don't need to be amazing every time I talk to someone. Every woman doesn't need to like me. It's okay. And really, like, turning down the standards and deciding that you're going to accept yourself for who you are, no matter how anyone responds to you, that can really start to relieve some of that anxiety. So that would be the answer that I have for that one. Okay, let's see what else we got here. Ooh. Oh, this one's good. From Andy in Oklahoma. Instead of being so serious when talking to women, how can I be more fun to talk to? That is a great question. I love that question. I'm so glad we didn't end yet, because I want to answer that question. What often happens when we're around a woman that we're attracted to? We'll go into formal mode to not, quote, mess it up. And. And then we tend to get kind of boring. It's like, so, how are you doing today? Where do you work? Oh, do you like your work? We just kind of. I don't know. It's like this kind of formal conversation that you might have with an extended family member. But it's not dynamic, fun, exciting, juicy, flirty, alive. And that's what we want to be able to create. And so there's a number of ways to do that. One is to just be a little more. I think I talked about this in a previous webcast about turning the filter down a little bit and just being a little more bold, a little more. Just say things, ask the questions that you're really curious about. You know, she's telling you a story about somewhere about she was traveling with some guy or something, or, you know, met someone somewhere. Like, oh, so did you guys make out or what? You know, it's like maybe she's telling a story about her and a guy or something, and maybe it's not even like they were hooking up. It's just kind of funny and random for you to say that, right? So you ask the questions that you'd want to Ask you, say some random things that you want to say. You'd steer clear of the ordinary topics that can be kind of just, you know, how's your work and where do you live? And really just allow yourself to go kind of off the map and be unpredictable and have fun and sort of self amuse. Amuse yourself, enjoy the interaction by saying, well, that would be funny for me to say. So I'm going to say it as opposed to is she going to think this is funny? And then I'll say it. Do you see the difference on that one? So a way to bring in more fun is more random, more humor, more jokes, kind of how you probably naturally are when you're hanging out with your buddies and your good friends. Just study that and bring that into the interaction with her. Facial gestures can be fun body language. So if a woman. I said something and a woman kind of gives me a. She squints her eyes or gives me kind of a quizzical look, I would just squint my eyes even more and crinkle up my nose and just make it ridiculous and absurd. And those are powerful ways to help that shift as well. So that's my answer to that one. And let's see, I might take maybe one more. Oh, right. Okay. That's right. John from Austria asked me a question via email and I said I would get to it. And he just reminded me now, so that's great. I'm going to do that now. It's actually about how food and diet can relate to your confidence. So I know we're going into a little left field here, but it is absolutely related to your confidence in your life and of course, with dating and relationships. So food, how does that relate to confidence? Well, several things. Caffeine can mess with you in a lot of ways and actually create a lot more anxiety and nervousness in you when you're on it. And also when you're coming down off of it, you can get a little jittery. So I definitely recommend mixing that. You don't need it as soon as you stop drinking it. Eventually, after a few days or weeks, you just don't need it anymore. It's not a need for your body to have caffeine to be energized. Also some basic stuff, but eating a lot of sugar, eating a lot of refined wheat products, that stuff can just mess with your blood sugar and make you more nervous or tense at times. Either when you're coming up on it or coming down off it. You want to start thinking about these Things like the drugs, you come up on sugar and you come down off of it. You come up on caffeine, you come off of it. And if you tune into your body, you can feel these sorts of things. So what you want to do is you want to steer clear of those things. Alcohol will reduce your anxiety. When you drink it the next day, you'll have rebound anxiety. You'll feel less confident, you'll feel more anxious, more uncomfortable, usually the next morning, even with as little as like two beers, that can have an effect on your confidence the next day. So these things just kind of mess with you. Obviously, tobacco does as well, because tobacco produces a chronic anxiety that is relieved from the tobacco, from the nicotine. So when you get hooked on the cigarettes, you feel tense. You smoke, you feel relief, but then you feel tense again. It's like wearing shoes that are too tight, so they're uncomfortable, uncomfortable. And then you take off the shoe for a minute and you're like, ah, I feel relief. And then you put the shoe back on. That produces some tension. Over time, man, I could spend. I could do a whole seminar on food and diet and how powerful and important that stuff is, but stuff you've heard before, but shit, just apply it. A whole food diet where you're eating real things like real grains like brown rices and quinoa, real beans, meats from good sources, lots of vegetables, healthy oils like fish oils and flax oils. You want to eat that stuff and limit all the things that I mentioned. It's incredible, man. You'll have more energy, you'll be able to do better with less sleep. You won't have a lull in the afternoon. I mean, I don't do any of that stuff and I have huge amounts of energy and don't need to sleep as much as I used to when my diet was worse. And so there's a lot that can go into that. But that's a short answer for your question. And thanks everyone else for that little jag into left field. Alan from Sacramento said I missed the conference. Is there going to be some sort of replay? Yes, there is going to be a replay. I'm going to have to figure out about the first half of it that didn't get recorded. I'll probably put something together for you all, but that's all going to come up pretty soon. So that is gonna bring me about to the end of my today with you all. Thanks so much for joining in. Phenomenal to talk with you, to be with you. Wow. There's more people on now than when we started. Go figure. Where were you guys? Okay, so I'm gonna put up a replay pretty soon here, and we're going to go from there. And if you want to get yourself a copy of 30 Days to Daily Mastery, go to 3.0days to Dating mastery.com special. Get your copy now for just $2.97 or three payments of 127. That will give you so much to transform your dating life. So thank you so much for joining me today. I'm excited to do more of these things with you, and I look forward to this. This is awesome. You guys rock. So until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know that you're awesome. Take care.