How To Attract Women, Naturally with Tripp Kramer (Part 2)

Coming to you from the center for Social Confidence in Portland, Oregon. Welcome to Shrink for the shy guy helping men everywhere go from social anxiety to social domination with your host, Dr. Aziz.

Hey, welcome. Today's episode of the show. Today we are continuing with this idea of how to naturally attract the women that you really want, how to become that highly attractive man that women see as. As a man, as a sexual partner, as someone they'd want to be with. And that's something that can be quite elusive. I know it was very frustrating for me for many years because it seemed like it was due to something outside of my control. It was due to my height or is due to my, you know, the way my face was looking or some physical attribute. That's what a lot of guys focus on. Or they focus on something like, oh, that person has money or that person's got nice clothes. But you know what? It's none of that. Those things do not determine if she sees you as an attractive man. And I know this because I know guys who are extremely wealthy or in great physical shape, and they still don't get the response that they want from women because there's something deeper at play. And we're going to go more into that in my interview with Tripp Kramer today. If you're enjoying the show, by the way, go to shrinkforthshyguy.com shrinkforthshyguy.com, you can send me a message there. You can send your questions there as well. I'm doing a lot more Ask the Shrink segments. And also, you know, go to itunes, wherever you found this, and give this show a review, perhaps a five star review if you're enjoying it, because that would be awesome. And it'll help me reach more people, which is my goal, to help eradicate this self doubt, self criticism, social anxiety that stops us from being who we are in the world. And speaking of that, what I hope you get from this, take notes on this interview, by the way, and what I hope you get is the realization that you can get this and that you can get this by being you. That the key element is going to be about boldness and practice and not some external, unobtainable thing like I just got to be better, I got to be perfect, or there's something wrong with me. It's none of that. It's a skill. You can practice it. We're going to teach you a ton in this interview, and I suggest that you really study it and practice it and learn it and obviously go deeper with whatever you learned from Tripp and his teachings. And he mentions at the end of the interview where you can find more of his teachings. Or if you want to go deeper with my program, 30 Days to Dating Mastery, which you can find at 30days todating mastery.com and there's a free ebook there about seven ways to start conversations with women anywhere, anytime. But the key is you can learn this. That's the main takeaway that I want you to get. And then the specifics and the strategies, especially that he shares at the end of this interview about how to make her see you as that attractive, powerful man, that provider, that strong man that she wants. Really good stuff. So let's dive into that right now.

Expert interview.

So let's. So beyond that, they can start conversations and start to connect. One thing I've seen is that boldness is only a piece of the puzzle. It's a requirement. You have to have the boldness to approach. But there's a. I've seen this before where some guys are shy and nervous about it, and then they get really bold. But they just get like, rejection after rejection after rejection. And it's not just like, oh, those are the normal amount of rejections that you have to face. There's kind of like they're doing something like they flip into, like, being very persistent but then not reading the cues right. They were maybe so used to interpreting everything as a rejection and hiding. Now they're kind of like, no, I'm going to stick in there. Is that something you've seen? It's almost like a little bit of a clumsy feel to it. If so, how do you help guys kind of refine their skill and their ability to really connect and attract a woman?

I would say, well, there's a couple things here. Are you basically asking what do you do if you are going out, approaching, and it's not really working for you?

Yeah, you're being bold. You're starting conversations. But women don't seem to want to. They just get a lot of no's and basically all no's.

Okay, so yeah, this is a great question. I've gotten this before. Guys going out and nothing's working. Well, you have two options. See, the problem here is this, is that if you knew what you were doing wrong, you'd fix it. But you don't know what you're doing wrong. You just keep going out and you're not getting the results that you want. In my experience, there's two ways to fix this. A, you hire a coach or you get someone who's better than you. If you have a friend who's also interested in this and it's a wingman and he's doing very well, have him or a coach or someone who's better than you look at what you're doing and figure out what it is that you're doing wrong. Because sometimes you need an outside perspective. So it might take them two seconds to be like, oh, yeah, of course this is what you're doing wrong. You're doing this because you might not even know it. That's one thing or two. If you're able to have a really. I mean, I was able to do this for a long time. Just have kind of your own strategic eye in terms of what's going wrong. And that's going to take. This is where the work comes in. This is really going in there and figuring out what it is you're doing wrong. Sometimes that takes trial and error of doing different things. For example, if you're going out and you're having the same conversation and doing the same thing, well, if you're getting the same result, something needs to change. It's just logic. It's like, all right, change something up. Maybe change up the conversation. Also, you should be studying the rules of seduction, and there's a lot there. But maybe you're not flirting enough with her. Maybe you haven't broken the touch barrier with her to get her starting to feel some sort of attraction for you. Maybe your conversations are really boring. Maybe you. I don't know, maybe. Not that this is always the case, but maybe you're just dressing really bad, your style is terrible, or you smell bad, your breath is bad. It's like some of those things make sure that you're constantly switching things up and experimenting in new ways. It's hard for me to tell you what to do because there's a million variables, but I gave you a few. Like your conversation. If you're flirting, if you're able to hold a conversation, maybe you're only able to hold a conversation with her for three minutes and you're like, what's going wrong? Well, something is going on in the conversation where it's ending too early, that she doesn't even get the chance to know you. If you're able to do this on your own, you can switch things up a bit and see what can work. If you combine that with a little bit of studying and learning from whatever, a course, an ebook, YouTube videos, and trying out new stuff that way, that could help you do that on your own. But I really highly suggest, I'm not saying hire me because I really don't do coaching anymore. This is really for guys out there who want to get this done faster is hire someone to help you. If you want to learn anything. The best way to do it is learning from someone who's been there and can coach you through it. If I told you I could give you someone who could train you right now in weightlifting and you're trying to be a weightlifter, you'd probably do it. If you're trying to learn a subject in school, well, what did you do your whole life you learned from a teacher. You didn't learn it on your own. You had someone facilitate it. That is going to be the fastest way to get it done. Again, if you don't have the money or don't want it done fast or don't have the time, then you can do that trial and error method.

Yeah, that's fantastic. I agree. That's the fastest way to learn. I think the studying of what works is extremely important and I think that in itself, if you bring that self awareness to it, you can start to, oh, wow. I'm not doing that in any of my conversations. Let me test that out. I'm not doing this. Let me test that out. Where does it break down? I love some of those examples you gave to bring attention to some of the major sticking points. Maybe you can't carry on a conversation. Maybe your conversations are super dry because, you know, and I just want to highlight this, even in the little samples you were giving Tripp, where you said, are you from la? When they say something back, you have something, you're curious and you have something interesting. Like you bring up this idea about snow and growing up never seeing snow. That's a little different than just your standard. Where, where do you work? Oh, cool. Oh, nice. You know, the basic conversation, like you find a way to make it engaging and interesting. So that's another sticking point and I think that's great. Get that self reflection and see where you're getting hung up. And of course, you know, I'm a big believer in coaching. I've had many coaches in my life for many different things, including personal training as well. So extremely valuable. So another question I wanted to ask you was you alluded to these elements of seduction, for example, flirting. And I know that's a huge subject and obviously people could go way deeper with some of your materials on that. What's maybe a core basic one or two things that every guy should be doing if he Wants to be flirting and connecting and making the conversation more than just friendly. What are sort of the fundamental, most important things that you found? We're going to pause for just one moment and then get back into the interview with confidence expert Tripp Kramer.

She probably has a boyfriend. She's out of my league. I'd only bother her if I tried to talk with her. Why would she go out with me? I'll only mess it up if I try. Does any of this sound familiar? These are the exact thoughts that are stopping you from creating outstanding and fun dates and relationships with. With amazing women ready to break free? Go to 30daystodatingmastery.com to get a free copy of Dr. Aziz eBook, 7 Ways to Start Conversations with Women Anytime, Anywhere and start meeting women today.

One fundamental thing is really good eye contact. If you're giving a woman really good eye contact and, and this is more like a body language thing. If you're facing her, if you're giving her good eye contact, you have just a slight smile on your face. That is the kind of, how do I say, the body language stance or technique or maneuver where if you just have that going, good eye contact, a little bit of a smile, anything you say out of that is going to sound already kind of flirty. Then you can also use this idea of breaking rapport tonality, which is when you talk to someone, you're talking to someone how I'm talking to you right now, where the downward inflection happens at the end of the sentence where I'm going down, not up. Because if you talk like this, like, oh, you're from Los Angeles, it's not, how do I explain this in the quickest way possible? It's just not very sexy. And you're kind of sub communicating to someone that you're needing them to talk to you. If I were to say, oh, you're from Los Angeles versus, oh, you're from Los Angeles, doesn't that second one just sound a little bit sexier, a little, little bit more confident? It doesn't really matter what you say. It's more how you say it. Say whatever you want. Use great eye contact. Look her in the eye, face her. Don't be scared of her. She's just another human being. Get close to her and use the downward inflection. If you could do that, you're already, I'd say 60 to 70% of the way there, maybe even more in terms of seducing her or making her feel like, whoa, I think this guy wants to have sex with Me. And that's a good thing. By the way, you want them to think that you want to have sex with them. Because if they think that, then they know that you're not there for friendship and they see you as a potential guy to have sex with. It doesn't matter if you're. By the way, this is important. Whether or not you're looking for a one night stand or a girlfriend. By the way, it doesn't matter what your end result is, as long as it's not friendship. They need to know that that's how you're going to start off. That seductive vibe. You want to give off that seductive vibe. You can also throw in some things there in terms of verbal, the rest of the 20 to 30% of the interaction to make it flirty. You throw out a compliment or two, but you want to be really careful. You don't want to be too complimentary where you're just like telling her how beautiful she is and all this stuff. Because women like a little bit of a challenge. And also if you're not setting up a challenge, they're going to feel a neediness from you. By the way, this might sound very manipulative or maybe even pick up artisty, but this is really the basic laws of attraction. A woman wants a guy who is confident and not needy because that's what they're attracted to. They want someone who can really provide. They don't want someone who's desperate for another girl. Ask any girl. They'll never want to go with a desperate guy. It doesn't matter who they are. Just like you're probably not going to want to go for a very overweight woman. You want someone who is healthy, who can actually mate, who has the potential to bear your children. We're talking about evolutionary psychology now and it's the same idea here. She wants someone who has the potential to mate, someone who's desperate. That doesn't really show that. That means that they don't really have the, and I put air quotes, survival skills to be able to have a relationship with someone and to take care of the children that may come. They want someone who's strong, not physically, but mentally. And so by going in there and giving them this seductive vibe and not being too needy with them and having that playful challenge in there, maybe throwing a tease in there or just not being overly obsessed with them is going to make them feel like, wow, this guy doesn't need me. And it's going to make them want you more. That's the basic idea. Of it. Think about that as a filter the next time you talk to a girl. This is some really advanced stuff here, but I promise you, if you just use some of those things that I just talked about, you're going to be more than halfway there in terms of making sure you're not in the friend zone, and you're going to be ahead of most of the guys that are talking to this girl. This is, like the secret stuff, because most guys aren't doing this, and it's going to take practice. You're not going to be able to just nail it the first time, but you just repeat it over and over and over and over and over, and you'll see women treating you way differently than ever before.

Mm, absolutely. We're gonna pause one more time and then dive back into the interview with Tripp.

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So true in my experience, that so much of this is. Is communicated with eye contact and a vibe and just the way that you look at her and the communication of, I am a sexual man and I would want to have sex with you. And what's fascinating is I had spent many, many dates where I would be attentive and I thought, charming, but she would not view me in that way. And because I was missing that key piece, and I think one of the biggest reasons I was missing it is just fear, like, to really show up that way, especially with a beautiful woman and look at her in the eye and be really solid in myself, I was so scared to do that. And so that's where I think your encouragement about repetition throughout this whole interview is so important, because you just do it again and again and again. And now it's funny where it. When I'm talking, it kind of reminds me of, have you seen 300.

Oh yeah, definitely.

Awesome movie. But they talk about, in the beginning they talk about like the Spartans. They don't feel fear in the same way. It actually is a heightening of their senses and they get really calm and heightening. And there's something about that that I found when I'm interacting with a woman. I can still feel some nerve or something in my body, but there's like this deep kind of calmness and hyper perceptiveness and focus that kicks in. And I think that's just from tons of repetition. So I think when you do that and you can drop into that now, they feel it at a whole other level. And that's where you can get so much that that happens. And for someone who's kind of new to this, they can watch someone have what looks like a very ordinary interaction. And the next thing you know, she's very into him and he's like, how did that happen? What did he say? What did he say? And, and it wasn't about what he said. It was about the way that he looked at her and all these other things.

It's very rare. It's very rare that it's about what? It's not. It's just not. I mean, you can give me the most boring stuff to say in the world, but if I say it in such a way that makes her feel, oh my God, this guy wants to have sex with me, it's going to work and she's going to feel that. I mean, that's why they say this comes from that thing. Anyone might have heard from Stats on the Internet, all these articles about body language, body language being 80 to 90% of communication. They've done studies on it. This is what we're talking about because you're really communicating to her that you're a man. If you go up to a girl and say, hey, guess what, I'm a man, they're going to be like, what the fuck are you talking about? You know what I mean? That's not going to work. You can't, you can't convince someone of that. It's all happening through this primal wiring that's going on in our brains as we. Because listen, this is a theory. I'm not even sure 100% sure about this. This is just my thoughts. When we were first becoming humans, we were not just talking language or something that evolved. So what did we have to read? We had to read the person's body language. That was the first language we had to learn right there. That's my guess. In terms of why it's so powerful. And that's why you got to focus a lot on that. If you show up and your hands are in your pockets and you're fidgeting a lot and you can't look her in the eye, she's going to know within microseconds that you're a guy that's not going to be able to. To provide and show up as a man. It's going to be the exact opposite.

Yes. Yes. And it's empowering stuff. What you said at the very beginning, this is something that we can learn, we can develop, and we can practice, and then we can have extraordinary results. The ability to connect with women in any of the ways that we want and to create relationships that we want. And it's awesome. And I really appreciate this trip. For people who want to go deeper with some of you, teach a lot of really good stuff. Just in this short segment, guys who want to go deeper with some of the things you've been talking about today, what's the best place to follow up and find you?

I think it's really a great idea for them to go to YouTube.com TrippAdvice Tripp is spelled with two P's. If any of this information resonated with you, I have hundreds of videos on my YouTube channel that a lot of people have told me they've learned a lot from, and I know that you can, too. So go to my YouTube channel and subscribe, because I come out with videos every week. And you can get the updates on the new videos. Check out a bunch of the old videos, and I give more detailed advice and information on how to attract women. Every situation possible you could think of, I talk about. So you'll get help in some way or the other by checking out the YouTube channel. So I suggest you start there and go from there.

Fantastic. Thanks so much, Tripp.

Thanks.

That brings us to the end of the interview and almost the end of the episode. But there is one thing we got to do before we go, and I think you know what it is.

Time for action.

Your action step for today. Now, hopefully you were putting into practice last week's action step, which is to get out there and start practicing. Make a commitment to yourself to do it. And if you haven't, well, that's something to look at, because much of the time in life, we come up with stories about why we can't have what we want. And those stories are external. Those stories are because of other people. Those stories are because of qualities that we have no control over. It's just not fair. Life just didn't make me tall enough. Life just didn't make me this or that. And then we play the victim. And so if you're not stepping up, I'm gonna call you out and ask you why. And if you're hoping that this show or something else will somehow just transform things for you, it won't. I'm sorry. It just becomes another form of personal growth entertainment. And you feel a little bit good while you're listening to it and you're like, oh, that's so interesting. I learned something. But putting it into practice is what's going to transform your life. And if you're listening to this, I know that's what you really want, because that's the only kind of people that I draw into my world. It's people who do, deep down, really want to transform this. So if you really want to transform this, take that action, make a commitment, get out there and start practicing. If you've already started that last week, awesome. Good for you. So for this week, your action step is going to be to practice still, but really apply this thing that he's talking about with strong eye contact and deep listening. So strong eye contact, like looking at her right in the eye and holding that gaze and holding your body so you're not fidgeting so much. Practice being able to look someone in the eye and not be throwing your arms around kind of uncontrollably. Just look her right in the eye and hold that and share. Do any of the things that you learned from Tripp about how to put out that what he calls a seductive vibe? If you want to learn more about that, go to his YouTube channel, check out more. But whatever it is, get out there and start practicing what you're learning. And you might be amazed at the responses that you get. So until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.

Thanks for listening to Shrink for the shy guy with Dr. Aziz. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to shrinkforthyguy.com for free blogs, ebooks, and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, go to socialconfidencecenter.com.

Sam.