Dr. Aziz says the key to not being a pushover is building discomfort tolerance: the ability to sit with the tension that comes from saying no. He recommends practicing exposure to uncomfortable situations, including cold showers, to strengthen this muscle and hold your boundaries while others adjust.
There is only one way to really avoid being a pushover long term in your life. And a lot of people say, oh, I should say no, I should speak up for myself, I should do this. But then when the moment comes, you don't do that. Why? Because if you were to do that, if you were to say no, whatever the non pushover behavior is, there's a discomfort you feel inside, isn't there? You can't sustain that tension. The only way to really free yourself is to build what I call your discomfort tolerance. Discomfort tolerance is your ability to sit in that rising discomfort of tension between you and someone else, to not gratify their desire to say no to them, to deny them, and maybe they're upset with you, and to be able to stay in that for as long as needed until they say, oh, okay, fine, I don't need it. Or ask someone else. And how do you build that muscle? Through practice. You want to take it even further? Go take a cold shower. Put yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable on purpose, and you will build that muscle, including in social situations like saying no and speaking up for yourself.
