How To Be An Unstoppable Fearless Badass with Peter Scott IV - Part 1

Coming to you from the center for Social Confidence in Portland, Oregon. Welcome to Shrink for the Shy guy Helping men everywhere go from social anxiety to social domination with your host, Dr. Aziz.

Hello, welcome to today's episode of the show. I am super excited to be with you here today because we have a phenomenal interview with a phenomenal guest. And the topic is also phenomenal. I mean, you cannot get any better than this. It is about how to be fearless. And that term, as you'll discover in the interview, people have different reactions to because we don't quite know what it means, like fearless. Like you literally never in your life experience fear. But it's not about that. In fact, my guest Peter is going to explain all about what that actually means. But the reality is you can live your life so much more powerfully free and ready to take on whatever it is you want to take on. Face whatever you want to face if you're willing to move towards, to lean into your edge. And Peter is a master of doing that and helping people do that. So we're going to dive into the interview in just a moment here. There's so much good stuff. I don't want to take any time really ahead of that away from that interview. If you'd like to get connected with a show, go to shrinkforthshyguy.com that's shrinkforthshyguy.com youm can find all the show notes, the episodes, transcripts. I have an ebook you can get there. There's a ton of good stuff. You can also send me messages and ask me questions there as well. So that is a great way to stay connected to the show. You can also go to facebook.com SocialConfidence and then you can follow the Social confidence center there and get all the updates about the episodes, etc. So without further ado, let's get into that guest interview.

Expert interview.

Today is Peter Scott the fourth and he's the founder of something called the Fearless Life Academy and the author of the number one best selling book the Fearless Mindset. He's one of the top mindset mentors for high achieving entrepreneurs in the world. And Peter's life, he's got a fascinating story. His life was consumed by fear at a very young age and he had to tell his mother at 10 years old that she was no longer suitable to raise him because of her alcoholism. And then later he had to go on to watch his father give up on life and drink himself to death. And since then he's dedicated his life to empowering entrepreneurs to overcoming the fears holding them back from making the impact and the income they desire. And Peter's journey to success has been anything but a straight line. He started his career in investment banking at a prestigious firm in Chicago. But then he soon realized that he was miserable and disconnected from his purpose and that he didn't want to do that anymore. And so, after several years of working in investment banking and private equity and such, he left his job and launched his career in the personal development industry working for a Chicago based company called Lifebook. And this is also really cool. At Lifebook, Peter became the highest earning sales consultant in the history of the company. So I'm sure we can get some some of his mindset and his approach around that too. But despite four successful years at Lifebook, Peter was being called to share his message with the world. So he left the security of his paycheck and that company and everything, and he moved to Chicago, or from Chicago, I should say to San Diego. And he launched his own coaching business. That's where he lives now. That's where he helps people from all over the world. And now he mentors high achieving entrepreneurs to get fit in less time, double their income, and become unstoppable. I love that. Awesome. Unstoppable. Welcome to the show, Peter Aziz.

Thank you, brother. I really appreciate you having me here today.

I feel unstoppable. Just like hearing about your.

I love it.

Good.

That's awesome. And I can't tell you how great I feel hearing you read that. So I know unstoppable as well.

Unstoppable for all. So the first thing I got to start with because it's such an appealing and alluring topic for me, for you, for everyone listening is just this word, fearless. I mean, that just sounds really good. So what do you mean when you say fearless? You mention in your book, in your programs, the way you help people. What is fearless?

I'm so glad you asked this, Aziz. And the reason is because so many people have this certain reaction when they see that word. Some is excitement, but some is judgment. Because a lot of people believe it's not possible to be without fear. So what I mean when I say fearless is actually not being without fear. I think fear can be a very good thing. And I'll elaborate on that and go into more detail on that later. What I mean by being fearless is having the courage and the confidence and the commitment to actually take action in the face of your fears and do that thing that scares you. So instead of waiting to be without Fear, which I don't think is possible. It's having the trust, the faith, that courage to move forward despite whatever fear is slowing you down or stopping you.

So basically, fear doesn't have the power to stop you from doing whatever it is you want to do.

Yes, exactly. And on my journey, as you read, my entire life had been consumed by fear. So I started out because I wanted to understand this for myself. You know, I was afraid of rejection, I was afraid of judgment, of not being enough of all these things. And so I just went on this journey, you know, reading books, attending courses, hiring mentors, doing all these things and realizing that, okay, that fear that I may be feeling may ultimately never really go away. But there's different types of fear. You know, there are fears that keep us alive. Those are what I call irrational fears. And there are fears that keep us from living, which are irrational fears. And the challenge is they both feel exactly the same as these in our body. And I know you know this like. Like whether, you know, you know, whether the listener wakes up to somebody breaking into their house, that fear that they feel, that flight or fight response is a good thing, like that is keeping them alive. Right? But that fear that you feel when spe. On a stage in front of a group of people, or that fear that you feel when approaching somebody that you're attracted to, that fear literally keeps you from playing, from living your highest potential. That's what I'm committed to helping people and overcoming.

I love that distinction between the rational and the irrational fears, and that they feel the same in our bodies. And I think that's absolutely true. There's this sense of threat we can feel from these irrational fears, these things that are really in no way. We're not going to die if someone rejects us or if we don't perform incredibly well on a stage or something like that. But our body starts to respond as if we're under that same threat. As if a guy's breaking into our house with a knife.

Exactly. Yes.

So this is probably a big question, but let's just dive in.

How?

How does someone become fearless?

Well, there's definitely no one action that somebody would take. But what I do is I have a series of actions or rituals that I do. I'm a big believer of these. And what I really want the listener to take away is that the best thing you can do in order to overcome your fears or face them or take action in the face of them is to put yourself, number one, into this peak performance state, this state of unstoppableness that you read in that bio. This state of feeling courageous, feeling powerful, feeling decisive. Like, if you're not feeling those things, then it's very hard intellectually to go from a fear based place to saying, okay, now I'm fearless. Right? Like, we can tell ourselves as much as possible that we feel fearless, but if we're not feeling it in our body, it's hard to trick our mind. And one of the best things you can do is, and one of the things that I do for myself, and I do it with clients as well, is I leverage our body like my body as a tool to become fearless. So one of the best things you could ever do, and there's obviously other benefits from this, but one of the best things you could ever do is commit to what I call sweating every single day or being in motion every single day when you move your body. Aziz, don't you feel after a workout like just higher energy? You feel more focused, you think more clear. Have you ever had that experience?

Absolutely, yeah.

Yeah. And by doing something as simple as that of starting your day with exercise, it doesn't have to be two hours or an hour long. It can literally be 15 minutes. But getting to the state so that when I finish a workout, I literally feel like I can handle anything that life throws at me. This morning, for example, I mean, I have a very incredibly busy day with coaching calls and with this interview and a lot of other things going on, I. I got out of bed at 5am so that I could get my workout in because I knew I needed to in order to be in a peak state. So if any fears or doubts or limiting beliefs came up for me, I would be able to move through it and handle it.

We're gonna pause for one moment right here and then take a quick break and be right back right after this.

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I love it. So that I am in total agreement with. I find that the more we can, the power comes from our bodies and our physiology. And absolutely earlier today, I had a busy day feeling stressed out about a move that we're doing, both home and business. Everything's moving at once. And I was feeling stressed out about managing all these things. And I was like, you know what? Before lunch, I gotta go for a run. And for me, that's one of my favorite things to do is go for a run. And when I come back, yeah, I'm clearer, calmer, more focused, and a lot more powerful. So I think probably, if you're listening to this, you probably are noticing that that's true in your life too. What I'm curious about is if we can refine this further. So is there something to do during the workout or after to make it even more. How does that directly relate to being more fearless? Is there something you tell yourself as you're working out or afterwards?

Yes. Yes. I'm so glad you asked this question. So one of the things that I always look for Aziz in a workout, and I have clients at my fearless life experience, look for this as well, what I call the one degree moment. Okay? It's a one degree moment. And what that is, it's the moment in the middle of an intense workout where you have a choice to make. You can choose to give up because the pain is too much. Right? You're too exhausted, it's too challenging. You want to slow down. You want to comfort yourself. So you can make that choice to give up, or you can choose to dig deeper and find something underneath to push you through whatever resistance or whatever pain you're experiencing. And that one degree moment I use as a metaphor because it's that one degree that makes a difference. Right? You've heard, you know, at 211 degrees, it's just water, but then it turns to steam. At 212 degrees, it doesn't matter what happens to that 211. It's that one degree that makes all the difference. And so what I always do is I look for that moment in any workout that I have, whether it's a CrossFit workout. You know, I'm running, even in a yoga session. I'LL have that moment where I want to get out of a pose because it's too hard. And what I do is I ask myself if I can get through this and I dig deeper. What does that look like in other areas of my life? Where is that one degree moment? This is what I want the listener to take away. Where is that one degree moment when you're having a very challenging conversation with your spouse or with your children or with a business partner and you're not wanting to step into that place where it's uncomfortable. Instead, you step into it powerfully, you hold space for whatever to come up and you go even deeper and get a better result than you could ever imagine. Where does that happen in your business? Maybe you're in a sales presentation or on a conversation with a client of yours, and maybe you're a coach and you want to ask that really, really personal, powerful question, but you're a little afraid of what their reaction may be. But they didn't pay you so that they could feel comfortable. They paid you to help them get those results. So that's what I do is I set the intention for that 1 degree moment in my workout and any fears or any hesitancies that come up from my day, it literally anchors and I have that awareness and I'm able to push through that anytime throughout that day.

That's fascinating. And it's really what we're talking about is discomfort tolerance, like an ability to. Because that moment, I know exactly what you're talking about. And for me, it's the worst with sit ups. Those sit ups is where the moment where I'm like, there's that one degree that's just I've done a. Yeah. And then I know what you mean. Versus, like, you just grit your teeth, you breathe deeper and you push into it. And that in that very moment is uncomfortable. That's why my body wants to stop, is because it's uncomfortable. And yet all those examples you listed, talking to people, sales, difficult conversations, tough questions, that is just discomfort. And you're talking about the same thing. Leaning into that discomfort.

Yeah. And that, you know, leaning into it is a great way to describe it because, you know, you can choose to. To come from a place of force or a place of power. Two very, very different experiences. As I was building my business, I launched my business about two years ago, Aziz, and I was building from a place of force, requiring on hustle and pushing and force and all of this. And although it got me results and got me to where I am, it's not what's going to get me to where I want to be. And power is a much different place to come from. So that workout, you're going to have to have some push in there, but it's got to come from a place of power instead of a place of force. Because if you come from a place of force, maybe you start holding your breath. And then it becomes even more difficult to get through that workout where if you were to breathe into the pain and oxygenates your body and it allows you to powerfully move through that.

Yeah. And that's help that distinction become even clearer. What is the difference between power and force? Whether it was in your business or that example in the workout is great. Let's talk about that more. So people really get that.

Yeah. So I think the difference for me has everything to do with attachment. So if you're attached to any sort of outcome, this could be in business, this could be in your body, this could be in a relationship. Then you come from this place of almost neediness. Like you have to have it and not like you have to have it, more like you need it. And so that neediness is the basis and the foundation of force. You're forcing that to happen and you're doing everything you can. And by doing that, that resistance creates more resistance. So you literally are limiting yourself from accomplishing that goal. When you come from a clear intention, Right. You set the intention. You still are clear on the outcome. You may have the same exact outco, but you're not attached to that. You can move powerfully towards it. That's the best way I can describe it. It's hard to be more tangible than that. But that's been my experience with it.

Yeah, that actually is very clear. It all comes down to how much we're grasping at that outcome. And I love that because then when there's that neediness, there's always like fear and a little bit of desperation behind it. I know exactly what you're talking about. I felt that way for years. When it came to my dating life, there was like this. Yeah, I need you to approve of me or else I'm worthless. And I was so scared of that worthless pit that there's a fear energy that's going to make me want to try to force something to happen.

Totally. I want to share another metaphor that you just triggered in my mind. This can be really valuable for the listener, especially as it relates to dating. This is something that I heard. I want to give credit to Jesse Elders, who I heard it from and it's describing the difference between a tugboat and a lighthouse. Okay. A tugboat is something that goes out and with a lot of force, it'll attach to one bigger boat and pull it and use force to get it back into the harbor. Where a lighthouse has zero force. A lighthouse doesn't push to do anything. It literally stands there with power, shines its light, and the boats are literally magnetically attracted to it. They come towards it. Imagine that in your dating life, instead of having to force and try to manipulate, if you're on the dating scene versus living, expressing who your authentic self is, being comfortable in your own skin, you show up more as that lighthouse than you do as a tugboat.

I love that. That's a powerful. There's powerful imagery in that metaphor, too, to imagine the lighthouse. I also think about how a lighthouse is usually it's in rock. It's super stable and solid and self grounded and grounded. Yeah, that's a great image. We're gonna pause for just one more moment and be right back in that interview with Peter right after this. Hey, it's Dr. Aziz here, and I wanted to take just a quick moment to thank you for listening to this show, for really taking the time to invest in yourself. And I understand your time is valuable. And I also want to let you know that I am deeply passionate about helping you really break free of whatever shyness, whatever anxiety, whatever self doubt is stopping you from getting the relationships you want, meeting the women that you want, starting the business that you want, or thriving in the way that you want in your life. And the reason I'm so passionate is because I lived it for so many years. And that's my mission. I want every single person who wants to break free to be able to break free. And I want to invite you to a special opportunity, which is to join me in a very small, intimate, confidence mastermind group. And these groups are six months long and in the confidence mastermind, and it's going to be limited to just eight people. And we're going to meet regularly over the phone and have a very small, private, intimate live event for just the eight of us and me, where we're going to dive into your life and help you apply all this stuff. So if you've been listening to this show or watching YouTube videos and noticing something, but you're still living the same patterns, I get it. And I found that the fastest and sometimes what it takes to really break the free is to step up and do something, do something big, take bold action. So I really Encourage you to do that. And I would love to talk with you more about that. To really learn about this and dive in, go to socialconfidencecenter.com mastermind. That's socialconfidencecenter.com mastermind. And there you'll learn more about it. And you can also apply for that there or ask me questions you have. So I can't wait to speak with you more about this and enjoy the rest of this episode. Yeah, so you mentioned earlier this, you said something about mindset training that you do with yourself and with clients. Can you tell us a bit more about that? What's mindset? What kind of mindset training do you do?

Yeah, so the thing that I look at is what I call slowing down time. And this is closely related disease to the body, too. Because you mentioned recently there was a moment where you were involved in a move and you felt some stress. And on some of your busiest days, what I heard you say is you chose to go running to relieve that stress. And some people who listen to that may have thought, oh, well, didn't that take more time? Didn't that waste time when you could have been moving or you could have been working, you chose to exercise. Is it compresses time. Because if you are more focused and you think more clearly and you feel more energetic, then you can get done in 4 hours what would take most people 12 hours to do. So the mindset approach, although closely related to the body, the way I look at it, is from a place of meditation. And I think meditation can be one of the greatest tools to alleviate fear, social anxiety, anything that comes up, because for me, it slows down time, it makes me more present. Instead of unconsciously reacting to a person or an event or something that triggers me or makes me uncomfortable, I am able to almost. If you can imagine that scene in the Matrix where you're dodging bullets, you literally slow down time and you consciously respond to it with purpose. You are more in control of your life, of your relationships, of all these things in your life. Instead of running around like a chicken with his head cut off, you know, not in control and reacting to everything around you.

Yeah, absolutely. And I love that the term slowing down time, because I think that. And I've definitely had that mindset of like, take, take 45 minutes out of my day to go work out. I don't got time. And that's, that's, that's based on this illusion that there is, let's say you have four hours or six hours in a set amount of time, there is only a set amount of things that you can do. And so if you had four hours versus six hours, obviously you'd get a lot more done in six hours. And that's not necessarily true. And I'm a pretty focused person. I've worked on a lot of my fears and other things to be very productive and focused. And still, you know, there could be a lull in there where I'm like, let me check some stats online. It's like, but if you have that four hours and your physiology has changed, your body, you breathe deeper, you ran, you leaned into that edge during that 1 degree moment, the amount that you're going to get done is going to be just exponentially bigger than if you hadn't done those things.

Yeah. And the one thing that I love doing in my life is looking at people that have the results that I want. So when I look at somebody, let's say like a Richard Branson, for example, I'm blown away at the impact he's created as an entrepreneur. And obviously he's created a lot of income. Right. He's built billion dollar brands. He was asked in an interview once what was the secret to his success. And everyone expected something to do with something around entrepreneurship or business or finance. And what he said was his secret to success was literally that he exercised every single day. And this was from a man who literally is running billion dollar businesses. You could imagine he's one of probably the busiest, he's in most demand than most people on the planet, and yet he still saw the value and the benefit from doing that. And I'm sure his mindset obviously improved because of it. So I look at that and I always like reverse engineering from people that have created epic results in any area of their life.

Absolutely. I think that's so great to hear. I didn't know he said that. And I think that the key, and maybe you have some thoughts on this too, is how to make space for this in our lives. Because there's so many things that we can say that are more important or I got to get more stuff done or I don't have time for that. And I'm curious what you found works for you and clients of yours to make that time, to create that time to do the most important thing, which is take care of our body.

Yeah, yeah. So one thing that I do and I have clients do is I start by having them create what I call a stop doing list. And it's a list of activities that you do on a weekly or daily basis that is not moving you towards your goals or your life vision. This metaphor that I'm about to share I got from a man named John Butcher, who is a mentor of mine. And it was really one of the most valuable things I've ever heard. And what I want the listener to imagine is imagine for a second that you have a doorman kind of standing at the front door of your life. Okay? And what I challenge you to do is, or what your doorman's role is to do is to not let any person, any project, any invitation, any quote, unquote, operation, opportunity into your life unless it moves you towards the vision that you have. And the reality is that 99% of things are simply distractions. We live in this society where we're being conditioned to say yes to everything and accept all invitations. And then we wonder why we don't have any time. And this is really the reason. So the challenge is to create what I call a world class doorman, where they're saying, or door woman, where they're saying no to 99% of things so that you can say yes to just the right thing things. Really successful people have echoed this thought. Warren Buffett said the difference between successful people and highly successful people is that highly successful people say no to almost everything. I think when you do that, it creates that time as ease that you asked me about. I've gotten rid of my tv. I do not have a television anymore because I used to waste hours in front of it. And so now I choose to do things like meditation and reading and working out and all these other things that have a better impact in my life. And the other thing is, I always start my day with purpose or with intention. And this is what I want the listener to do is, you know, I understand that you're going to have challenges in your day. You're going to have commitments, you're going to have things that come up. There are demands for your time. The best thing you could ever do is to wake up a certain amount of time earlier, let's say an hour, and put yourself first.

That brings us to the end of the interview for today. There's going to be more in the interview next week with Peter, which is going to be awesome. We dive more into what he calls the Fearless four. This is what he does every morning, what he teaches his clients to do every morning, to approach the day. Fearless, powerful and unstoppable. You're also going to learn about the secrets he has for meditation, tips and tricks on how to make it better. Including a 15 second reboot that he teaches his clients, that he uses to reboot your entire system in 15 seconds. I mean, there's so much good stuff, we couldn't get to it all today. So stay tuned next week for the rest of the interview. But before we end our show, there's one thing we gotta do, and I think you know what it is.

Time for action.

That's right, today is the day for action. And particularly based on what we talked about in the interview. So much focus on physical power, right? How we access our body, how we access our power by using our body, by sweating, by moving. But we can't just be a sedentary slug and use our brains on our computers all day and feel good. That's just not going to work. We got to get in our bodies. We got to get powerful. I'm sure you're feeling inspired listening to Peter talk. So go do it. Figure something out. Schedule something. Maybe you're already a member of a gym. Maybe you sign up for a class, a yoga class, a workout, whatever it is. Maybe you call up a buddy and say, hey, let's run Wednesdays and Fridays after work, whatever it is, schedule something. Get something going. And then this week, go do it. But I found personally the most powerful thing I can do is schedule something. Schedule it. Because once you get it on your calendar, it becomes real for you if you're like, yeah, I'll start working out more. But there's no plan, no schedule, probably not going to happen. So block it off. Whether it's that first hour before you wake up, you know, move it earlier and get that workout in then or right during your lunch hour or after work. Whatever it is for you, find that time, schedule it, put it into action. And then next week we're going to get into the rest of this awesome interview. Until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.

Thanks for listening to Shrink for the shy guy with Dr. Aziz. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to shrinkforthyguy.com for free blogs, ebooks and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, go to social confidencecenter.com.