A short coaching episode by Dr. Aziz teaching a three-part method to become more confident around people using the acronym CPA: Calm yourself (mindful attention to fear and breathing), Power (activate physical energy through music, movement, posture), and Action (approach and practice while using self-compassion). The episode frames these as daily rituals and includes practical cues, troubleshooting (avoid self-criticism), and program references (The Confidence Code; Confidence Unleashed) for deeper work.
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Do you want to be more confident around people? That could be any people, people that you just met, strangers at a party, a networking event, or maybe even colleagues, co workers, people you see every day, people you're attracted to. Do you just want to be more confident around people in general? If so, in this episode, I'm going to share three simple, powerful strategies with you that can completely change how you feel around others. From being shy, nervous, tense, anxious, to being certain, solid, strong, powerful, and confident in yourself. Welcome to another episode of the Art of extraordinary confidence. I'm Dr. Aziz, your host, and this show is for you if you want to 10x your confidence in every area of your life that matters to you. Dating, relationships, business, your finances, your just general social confidence. How do I interact with people in the world? And that's what today's episode is, is all about. I got a question recently, and some guy said, you know, this was from the podcast, and he said, aziz, how do I be more confident around people? And I was like, well, you know, that's kind of everything that I teach is about how to do that. So you could probably just watch or read anything that I've ever created, and it would teach you how to do that. But he's like, I want it from you. I was like, okay, well, I'll answer it in an upcoming episode. And so here it is. How to be more confident around people. And it's a question I know everyone has. We all want that, so let's dive into how to do that today. And I broke it down into three things. These are three things that you can do to be more confident around people. Immediately, starting today, before I share those things real quick, where would you like to be confident around people most? What's the area for you that you get the most nervous or that you would really like to be more confident? Is it dating and talking to people? Is it going to bars? Going to clubs? Is it going to party? Is it going to work? Is it speaking up at work? Is it going into sales conversations? Dealing with colleagues and supervisors? Is it dealing with friends? Just strangers at the store, in public? Where would you like to be more confident around people? It could be a lot of areas. Pick one. For now, as we work on this, whichever one you want most, maybe the one you're most scared of, maybe the one that would benefit your life the most if you were more confident there. Okay, good. Sure you have something. Whatever one you picked is great. Now we're going to go into the three ways to become more confident around people starting Now. And I broke it down into a little acronym called cpa. Ready? Cpa. The C stands for calming yourself. You got to be able to calm yourself. This is a huge skill. The confidence code goes crazy deep into how to do this super important skill. So think about the situation that you'd like to be more confident in. Imagine you're in there right now. Let's say you want to be able to go talk to three people at a networking event that you don't really know. There's three people there. You want to go jump into the conversation with them. You start to get nervous. Maybe for you, it's dating. Imagine there's a beautiful person, you want to go talk to them. You want to ask them out. You're in the conversation, you want to casually say, so what's your number? But you know, terrify. Fear comes up. Focus on that right now and notice how fear comes up for you. And it especially comes up when you're in the situation, right? But even just imagining it, we can feel fear. And that's when we want to calm ourselves, is before the situation, before we even get there. We want to imagine it and we want to feel that fear. And if you're feeling it now, great. Don't avoid it. Don't run away from it. That's what we try to do most of our lives. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. There's a situation. Oh, shit, forget it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. And just go with your life that way. Let's change all that. Let's think about it. Let's face it. So go into it right now. Take a deep breath in and just feel that fear. Feel that discomfort. Don't run away from it. You don't have to analyze it, you don't have to fix it. You don't have to solve it. Just feel it and breathe. Accept it, send it, love. This is mindful attention. This is shit that people have been doing for thousands of years. And it works. So just focusing on it, feeling it, and just noticing what happens. Now, to keep this episode short, I'm not going to guide you through that whole process, but if you stay with it, sometimes for three minutes, sometimes for eight minutes, it will change and shift. You're not trying to make it go away. If you really let go and allow it, it shifts and it changes and you get a lot more calm. That's been my experience. That's my experience with clients. And again, if you Want to really master this stuff, get the confidence code. Because I go real deep on dozens of strategies of how to talk to yourself, what to say, how to breathe, what to do to really calm and neutralize any painful, uncomfortable feeling like fear. So calm is a super important thing to do ahead of time. In fact, if you do enough of this, you imagining it, calming yourself, imagining it, calming yourself, you might just be able to walk in and have a totally different experience than you've ever had in your entire life. So that's how powerful this technique is. The second thing you want to do is the P. Remember cpa. So calm second thing is power. Power. Most people do not activate any power in their body ever. Except for maybe when you're working out, maybe. And maybe at like a sporting event maybe. But it's rare. We're not really activating power in the way that we can. This is what I love to do in my live weekends where I help people really activate power in themselves. But basically what that is is you want to put on a song. You want to energize yourself by getting into a state that's almost like, fuck yeah, bring it on. You know what I'm talking about where you are pumped. You are ready as if you're about to go out to the biggest sporting event of your life. But you're not going to be in the stands, you're going to be on the field. That kind of energy and intensity, whether it's push ups, whether it's a song that gets you pumped, whether it's jumping around. You notice as I do this, my volume starts to increase, my gestures start to increase because I've conditioned myself so much to do this that even as I'm talking about it, I'm feeling more of that power and energy. And you want to let go of any self consciousness, just do this by yourself. I have a buddy that does it in his car when he drives around. Do it by yourself. You, you don't have to. Oh, how does that look? But the more ridiculous it looks, the better because it's about activating power in your body. So you can be like, yeah, yeah. Or you can be like. You notice that activates a completely different level of energy in your body. And if you do that, you'll feel power coursing through your veins and it will give you an energy to just blast through anything. And the cool thing about this is the more you activate that, the more you can access it at will, the more when you're in the moment, you're like, oh, you can just be like, and then go do it. And you only get that ability by activating that power ahead of time, regularly, daily. So the things I'm talking about are daily rituals, right? Calming yourself, power. And then in the moment you can go do it. Because if you never do this stuff and then you're in the moment, it's real hard. You don't, you haven't built up, you're not in shape, right? So you got to get yourself in shape. CP what's the third thing? You might know what A stands for. Take a guess. What does A stand for? What's the most important thing? It's action. You got to get into action. So that means in the moment you got to do it, you got to take that action. You got to go walk over and talk to those three people. You got to walk over and approach her. You got to speak up in the meeting. And if you don't, don't beat yourself up. That shit doesn't work. It doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't work. And that's why the whole last module inside of Confidence Unleashed is about self compassion. Because if you try to do this stuff and you beat yourself up afterwards, you are not accelerating your progress, you are slowing it down like crazy and maybe even grinding it to a halt, maybe even putting it to the place where you're probably just going to give up and settle. You beat yourself up. That's what happens. So you want to let that pattern go and you just want to get curious what happened? What did I tell myself that stopped me? Maybe after the event, put yourself back in that situation because it's fresh and you imagine there's those people, oh shit, okay, what was that feeling? So now you're at home, you're alone, it's nighttime, you're doing your own thing. You can relax, you can sit down, you can lay down, think of that event. Because sometimes we don't want to think about it or all we do is beat ourselves up. Let both of that go and just think about what happened. Feel that feeling of fear and calm yourself. That's all you need to do. That's going to be a thousand times more valuable than any self criticism, A hundred thousand times more motivating than any self attack. Just facing that feeling and feeling it and calming it down. And then guess what? Get into power. And then try again the next day. Get into power and do it again. And that if you put it into action, if you start consistently doing the actions, you are starting to become so Much more confident around people. It is crazy. So this is different, you might notice than like what to say and how to stand. And those are valuable too. And I talk about that elsewhere, but I wanted to get to the core of how over time, if you do these things, calm yourself, activate power in your body and take action. Calm yourself, activate power, take action. If you just do cpa, cpa, CPA every day, that rhymes, then you will become way more confident around people. Way more confident. Way more than if you had a certain body posture technique or something like that. And those are valuable too. But this is talking about life transforming change. That's what I'm about. That's what I wanted to pack into this episode. So if you do that every day, we or as frequently as possible, your entire life will transform. Your level of confidence around people can skyrocket. Because you can learn whatever skills you need to learn by taking the action, by calming yourself, by activating power. You'll figure out what you need to figure out. You'll learn some strategies, you'll learn what works. You'll learn how to join into groups. You'll learn how to talk to women. But only by action, only by doing. Only by discovering for yourself what works and applying it and trying new things. That's how you're going to get it. That's how you're going to build that confidence. So share below what you've learned, what works for you, any questions you have. I love to respond. I love to engage. I love to. So we can all help each other do this. And if you want to dive deeper, you can check out my program, the Confidence code, which is@yourconfidencecode.com. or you can check out my other program, which is Confidence Unleashed. Super powerful Rocket Fuel program. You can go to Confidence Unleashed now. Until we speak again, May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon. Sa.
