How To Be Confident, Even With A Speech Impediment Or Any Other Problem

Hey, Dr. Aziz here. And welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. Today we're going to be diving into a question from a viewer about how to be confident when you have something that you think makes you less than others. In this case, it's a speech impediment. But this could be your height, your appearance, your weight. Maybe a speech impediment, maybe something about your features or your face, something that you think people notice. Maybe people do notice it. Then you're like, well, how can I be confident if I have this? Because a cool person, a successful person, and an admirable person doesn't have this going on. And if that's your experience, then watch this episode because it's going to help you be free so you can feel way more confident in yourself no matter what. Okay, so today's episode is a question, and it comes from a listener named or a viewer named Nocturnal Sam. Hey, nocturnal Sam. Hey, Dr. Z's. I've been watching your videos for a long time, and they're awesome. But I have one problem that I've never seen any tips to overcome that problem is a few speech impediments. Now, they're not horrible at all. They're actually very mild, but they absolutely fuck over my confidence. I've tried speech therapy, and it somewhat helped, but it didn't completely get rid of them. Do you have any tips for me to get over it? So that's a great question. And drop this guy here. That's a great question. So first of all, it's interesting how you try to resolve the problem, try to make them go away. And it sort of helped, but it didn't make them go away. And I think that's great. One, that you tried something, and two, that they didn't fully go away. Because my sense is those are there as a gift to you to help you realize that confidence is an inner game. Confidence is an inner game, and that it's your responsibility. It's my responsibility. It's all of our responsibilities to own that and to find a way to confidence, no matter what is happening with our appearance, with our voice, all that stuff. So. And again, if you don't have speech impediments, still watch this because for you, it might be your face, your weight, your height, whatever it is. And here's the thing. How does it fuck over your confidence? That's a great question. We just assume that something like that has to fuck over our confidence. Why does it have to fuck over your confidence? What are you doing? That makes it Fuck over your confidence. My sense is you're judging it and you're imagining other people are judging it. And you're looking for evidence that shows you that people are noticing it. Then you're assuming that anyone noticing it means they're judging it. So you're kind of constantly feeling judged. You probably constantly feel judged talking to people. And then you might even hold back from talking to people because you just know with certainty that they're going to judge you. And you have all this accumulated evidence. And I know this because I've had some things of my own area around my eyes that I was convinced that no one would find attractive. That everyone was noticing and judging other things like that. That's just a pattern. That's very common. So how do we overcome this? How do we become free of this? One is to own it. This is part of who you are. This is part of how your face and your tongue and your throat and your body works. This is part of who you are. Just like if someone was 5ft tall and they didn't like that they were short. The first thing I say is, you got to own it. This is who I am in the world. We don't want to disown it or be apologetic for it. Fuck that. This is who I am in the world. And you know what? That's not going to stop me. And also, that does not know. The second thing you want to do is you want to break the link of that to your self worth. That has nothing to do with your self worth. If someone is tall or short, does that matter about their self worth? If someone has hair or doesn't have hair, if someone's fat or thin, all these things that these criteria, clear, unimpeded speech or some block when I say certain words or some way that I pronounce certain letters that's different than other people that I hear, does that have any link to your worth? I would go for a one hour walk on a bright sunny day and sit with that question, does this really determine my worth? And find your answer to that. My answer would be no. And here's the thing, nocturnal Sam, what are you here to do? Because this absorption with like, oh God, are they going to judge me? You're not connected to what you're here to do. And I don't mean some dramatic thing like I'm here to cure cancer. No, it could be, but you know, I'm here to have an amazing relationship. I'm here to serve these people in the work that I do. I'm here to give to these people. I'm here to love those other people. I'm here to do something in the world and impact the world in a certain way. And is a speech impediment gonna stop me from doing that? Fuck that. I'm on a mission. And you might say, well, wait a minute, doesn't matter, because people are gonna see that and they're not gonna like me. And you know what that is? You will find evidence for that in your reality. I had a client that I worked with who had a disability, and he was convinced, well, I have a disability. So no woman is going to want to be with a guy that's got a disability. And he could find evidence of that. And it just rationally made sense. If you took a woman and you said, hey, do you want to choose this guy who's able bodied and has no problems, and this guy who's got challenges with his physical movement, which one would you pick? And he said, well, the woman would always pick that guy. But then what was fascinating is we started to look for people who have his exact disability, who are famous comedians, speakers, motivational people, public figures, people who are married, people who are sought after, all with the same problem he has. Hmm, what's going on there? How did they do it? Because they realize that confidence is an inner game. And so I'm not gonna let this hold me back. And when you get strong in yourself like that, and you own that and you stop being apologetic for it, then you stop trying to hide it. Because, you know, if you're trying avoiding certain words or talking to certain people to hide that, fuck that, let it out. And then you want to get to a place of your. You're comfortable with it, and you could even joke about it. That's really powerful. You know, there's a really inspiring guy around this. There's a lot of them. But one is Sean Stephenson. I don't know if you know him, but check him out. Look him, he's got a big following in YouTube and other places. Sean Stephenson. And he's had to overcome a lot of challenges. And what he's really good at is he tells stories about this, you know, because he's a small guy, he's in a wheelchair. And sometimes women would see him and be like, oh, like, poor little guy. And he just bust them on it. He'd tease them, he'd make fun of them. He'd be like, pity me, you know, and he kind of make fun of them, and they'd snap out of it and so the more. And it doesn't have to be like an aggressive. Like, what do you. Fuck you for taking pity on me? Not that, but like playful teasing, putting them at ease so you could make a joke about it. If you wanted to put them at ease, if they seemed like they were uncomfortable with it. But my sense that comfort is actually coming from within. And the more comfortable you become with it, the more ease you'll notice. And here's the thing. Everything that you want, Sam, you can have stop using this as a reason to not go for what you want. So here's what I want you to do. If I did not have any problem with my speech, if there was no problem, there is no problem, just as it is. But let's say you know in your mind, well, it's got to sound a certain way. Let's say you sounded that certain way and it was magically gone. What would you go do? How would you walk? How would you talk? Who would you approach? What kind of dating life would you create for yourself? What kind of relationships, what kind of work life, what kind of career would you pursue? Do you see what I'm getting at here? This is just a whole absorbing thing that we can get into that prevents us from just fucking going after what we want, getting on mission, getting on point. And the more you start doing that, the more powerful you become. And you'll realize you can have an amazing relationship and have a speech impediment. You could be a powerful force in the world and create something, do something, write, become an amazing leader, an amazing speaker. With a speech impediment. You could do all kinds of things. You could create the social life that you want. I mean, anything that you want in your world, you can create. This doesn't have to hold you back. It only holds you back to the degree that you buy into it and you judge yourself for it. So break free from that. Take bold action and comment. Share below in this video how it's working for you, other people who've dealt with this, a speech impediment, a disability, something that kind of. You've been telling yourself, this is why I can't have the confidence that I want. Let's collectively help each other so we can break free from this. Because I want you, Sam, and everyone else to be your most full, bold, confident self. Because when you do that, the world benefits, I benefit. We all benefit. We need you. We need you fully expressed as you are. And I love you no matter what. Even if you have this speech impediment. And you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon. Till we speak. Then may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome no matter what.