How To Be Funnier & More Playful! | Dr. Aziz - Confidence Coach

Do you want to know how to be funnier, how to make people laugh? Bring a lightness and playfulness and humor to all your interactions and then therefore have more fun yourself. But also be seen as someone who's funny, entertaining, engaging, confident that attracts people to you, whether it's for dating, your business life, your social life. If you want that, watch this episode. You're going to learn some very practical tips that you can use right away. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz. And let's talk about how you can be funnier, more playful, bring that energy into your life. And there's a couple of tips I want to share with you. First and foremost, get into a playful state. And you already do this sometimes, but just study when you're in a playful state. How do you do that? What do you like? So you want to first and foremost, study yourself. Maybe you get in that place when you're with a good friend and you guys just laugh a lot, or when you're with your brother or your sister, or just some place in your life where you naturally go there and you let the guard down, you let the seriousness down, and you're just way more relaxed and fun. Can you think of that place right now? And heck, if it's after a few drinks or something else or a few other things, that's fine. We're just studying right now. How are you when you're in that state? And what I'd like you to do is actually study that. The next time, you know, you just happen to get in that state, just be like, oh, I'm in a playful state right now. And then study. What do I do? How do I move? How do I laugh? How do I think? How do I focus? What do I say? How are my filters on what I might say? Because here's the thing, for a lot of people, they have a story that says, I'm not funny, I'm too serious, that sort of thing, right? Maybe you have that story as well. And the truth is, that's not you. Everyone has humor. It's like saying, I am not the kind of person who speaks. It's like, look, everyone, unless you have a serious condition or something like that, everyone can talk, everyone can speak, everyone can share and express themselves in that way. Now, it's the same thing with humor. Everyone's got that energy in them. Just like everyone can dance and everyone can move their body around again, unless there's, barring some sort of physical condition that prevents that. So the stories that we have are not really true. It's just I have this identity that I can't. That I'm not funny, that I'm too serious. You know what that really is? That's you're afraid to take risks. You're afraid to make a joke and it not be funny. You're afraid to put your humor out there and have it be rejected instead of accepted. And so another thing, to boost your funniness or your humor again from, you know, study when you're a playful state, and then also be willing to take the risk, be willing to bring that energy out in settings where you normally do not. So a lot of people, they're funny when they're with their friends, but then they get to a certain situation and they're all serious, they're all business. And the downside of that is you don't need to be. And you can actually really draw people to you by being more playful and funnier. And it's not like you need to go learn how to do that. You already know how to do that. You're just not applying it in that situation. So once you've studied how you are in a playful state, consciously choose to bring it over to different environments, bring it over to business environments, bring it over to your first date, bring it over to when you meet your girlfriend or boyfriend's parents. A lot of people have these social kind of routines and templates. They're like, in this setting, I must operate like a robot. Nice to meet you, sir or madam. And you can just be a lot more playful. For example, I was in a business situation and I was introduced to someone, I never met them before, and we were there to talk about business, and we shook hands, and he had a really firm handshake, and it just like, was crushing my hand. And so we were shaking hands, and we shook hands and I held it and I was like, wow, you, sir, have been practicing your handshake. And I smiled and he laughed. He gave a little chuckle. Now that's like at the very initial meeting of a situation where we could have done that, like all business, right? Like, okay, here we're talking about this and distribution, right? And all of a sudden the energy changes and shifts. Now, we could go into business mode and be serious right after that. But then you've opened the door to playfulness. And again, you can make jokes, as I said, with people's parents that you just met or in a business setting or the meeting or anything like that. You can do it now. Here's another thing. And a lot of the fear about doing it is like, yeah, but what if I do and I say, that's a, you know, you've been practicing your handshake, and he's like. And just gives me like, a mean mug stare, right? That's our fear. Or you make a joke in front of your girlfriend's parents and they're just like, I never. What? What kind of riff raff is this? And so we're afraid of that disapproval, that rejection. Well, guess what? You lean into it. You do not recoil. There's nothing wrong with being playful. That's another thing we gotta get in our mind instead of you being the messed up one because you made a joke and they didn't think it was funny. It's almost like, what's going on with this person that they're so serious? Like, why so serious? Is life this serious? Is this business meeting that serious? Is this, you know, hanging out with your daughter and me for dinner for the first time? That's serious right now? You don't have to say that. That's your internal attitude so that you are owning your reality. In my reality, it's okay to make jokes. In my reality, it's good to be playful more of the time than not. And that's true for my reality. I want to be playful and humorous as much of the time as possible. You know why? Because, shit, man, life's a drag and it's hard if it's all serious and responsibility and no fun. Like, let's make this fun. And I do that. I remember in my training in graduate school in clinical psychology, we were trained to be pretty clinical, reserved in the way that we dealt with patients and diagnoses. And I had a real hard time with that because before that, I'd been helping people out on the side just for my own growth. And I was just me with them, right? Like, I was teaching them how to date and other things like that. And then I went into this clinical training and got booted up with how to be. And then it took me like a couple years or more to, like, unwind that and just bring more of me. And now that's what I do with my coaching clients. And so in any given session, no matter what the topic almost, at least once, we'll both be laughing in that session. Even if we're talking about abuse or something intense. Like, we'll go into it, we'll feel it's intense, we'll go there, but then somewhere in there, I'll make a joke and will lighten the energy. And people love that. I love that you can bring this anywhere. Now, maybe not in that exact moment when someone's sharing about the abuse. That's not the time to crack a joke, Right? So there are, you know, use your sensory acuity here. But afterwards, in a different moment, you can bring humor, you can bring lightness. So it's really about courage. That's what my main point in this video is to tell you it's not about skill. It's about courage. Now, if you. If you want a few tips on actually, well, okay, great. I'm ready. How do I be funnier again? You can make a study of that. First and foremost, I would say watch funny shit. Watch stand up comedians, watch TV shows you like that are funny. I remember my roommate in college, we were sitting at the cafeteria for lunch, and he said, I made some joke. That was a Simpsons reference. And he said, aziz, if it wasn't for the Simpsons, I don't think you'd have a personality. I guess that was like a joke and a backhanded compliment. I don't know. But there's some truth in that. Like, my humor significantly shaped by watching all those episodes again and again and again and again. Now, a lot of the time, I wouldn't directly quote a Simpsons episode, although I do my fair share of that too. But just the style of humor, this dry wit, this commenting on something, you start to study stuff called, like, absurdism. Family Guy is another show that does a lot of this Futurama. A lot of the cartoon animated shows do this absurdism where you, like, you take something and you exaggerate it to an extreme or absurd degree. Another thing you can do that's funny is you can misinterpret a situation on purpose. So someone says that they did something, you can misinterpret it. Let's say they go like, oh, yeah. And then I got into it with so and so. And you're like, really? Did you. Did you, like, lay them out? Did you put them in the hospital? And they're like, what? No, no, no. It was just an argument, right? And all of a sudden now it's this kind of funny scenario where it's like as if they were this person beat them up so bad they went to the hospital. Everybody loves violence and hospital jokes. Hey, I'm just. First day that came to my mind. But you see what I'm saying? You, like, misinterpret on purpose. Another funny thing you can do is put yourself into a role where where you make yourself sort of absurd and this is different than self deprecating where you're like, I'm just a piece of shit. Ha ha ha. No, it's more like in my book the Art of Extraordinary Confidence, I tell this story about getting a fake Rolex and when I was like a, I don't know, 10 year old kid. And in it, in the story you can find that one, by the way, it's in the love chapter of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I present myself in that story as like the kid who wants to come home with a fake Rolex and just be like, yeah boy, what's up? And kind of brandish it to all my friends. And that was true. I did want to do that. But I really played that up in the story and it made it really funny because the Rolex didn't even make it home. The crown fell off and it was just a total piece of shit fake watch. And that's know. Hence that's even funnier, right? So you could really get into this stuff. But just watch a lot of funny shows. If you like dry wit, do dry wit. You know, if you like funny voices, you probably watch, watch this show. I do all kinds of weird voices and sound effects. I remember one person said they would love to record my live event and just cut everything else out except for my weird sound effects and voices and just have like a four minute clip of me making all these weird sounds. And I was like, that's a good idea. You should do that. Anyway, I hope these are just some tips that you can use in your life today. But remember, the most important thing is what? Take the risk. Find out the playful you and have the courage and the commitment to bring that out again and again and again. If someone doesn't like it, that's their issue. Keep doing it. Keep practicing it. And again, like anything else, the more you do this, the more you build the identity of I am funny and, and the more the identity of I am funny, the more you're going to express that, the more that's going to be so. And the more that other people will see you that way as well. So share your comments below. What else have you noticed? What helps you be funnier? What helps people you know, bring you bring more of your. Your playfulness out. What, what have you found? Share below in the comments and of course subscribe if you're enjoying these videos. There's more coming down the pike and I can't wait to see you in future episodes of this show. So until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.