How To Be Less Nice | Dr. Aziz's Brand New Book Just Released!

Are you ready to be less nice? That might sound good to you. That might sound bad to you, maybe that seems like you're going to be a bad person. You're going to hurt people, you're going to offend people. Or maybe you're hearing that and thinking, yes, good God, I need to be less nice. How do I do that? Well, I have a fantastic and exciting solution for you that is Just came out. Just came out yesterday, which is my new book, Not Nice. How to Stop People Pleasing. Staying silent and feeling Guilty. And start speaking up, saying no, asking boldly and unapologetically being yourself. Because what you're going to discover in this book is the opposite of nice, is not to become some just terrible person who's taking advantage of people and callous and not caring. That's all the fear of, of the nice person programming. The truth is that when you really let go of what's driving you to be so nice, you become a more bold, authentic, unapologetic version of you. Because what's behind nice? And you're gonna discover that in the early part of this book, this book is really, like, kind of guide you down a path where you kind of know you want to get to the other side, which is more bold. It's authentic and confident. But another part of you almost has to be, like, sold on the idea that it's okay to be not nice because we've gotten so much programming that says you're bad, you're selfish, you're wrong. So the full first half of the book, or not the first half, the first part of the book, maybe the first quarter of it, is all about, like, introducing these ideas about what's really behind nice. Maybe it's not all good. Maybe it's not what you think. Maybe it doesn't make you a good person. In fact, some of the core elements behind niceness, behind the need to be so nice, is people pleasing. Guilt, fear of conflict, fear of people being upset with you. And these lead to you saying yes when you want to say no, not speaking up and hesitating when you want to share your opinions. Holding back, staying silent, keeping the peace, pleasing others, staying in relationships too long because you feel too responsible for others. And so in the first part of this book, I highlight all of the problems with nice. So by the time you finish that first part of the book, you're like, whoa, I'm done with nice. And I say this right at the beginning. I say, I want to shift your experience. So when you hear the word nice, instead of being like, oh, yeah, yeah, that's a good thing to be. You say nice. Ew, no thank you. And then we get into the five pillars of Anti Nice. What can we do to shed this nice person programming so we can be more bold, free, authentic, and let ourselves be you in the world? The first thing is have boundaries. I teach you all about boundaries. How to have them what they are, how to find what they are for you and how to have the courage to express them. The next thing is we have to be able to own our shadow. And so this idea that I'm only a nice person, I never get upset and I never have any urges that are, you know, less than perfect and nice. Will we gotta be honest with ourselves and say, yeah, actually sometimes I get pissed off inside because we can use that power to speak up, which is the third pillar, which is speak up for yourself. And that's probably the longest chapter in this book. I was just recording the audio just today actually, for this book, which is going to be coming out in maybe three, four weeks, the audio version. And that chapter is a beast because there's so much detail in there on how to. How to speak up. If you are maybe have read a lot of stuff where it teaches you about the theory of this stuff. This book is not only going to give you like the theory, but the how to. Because, you know, if you read any of my other books or watch these videos or other things, you know, I'm all about like, great, how do we put this into action? So that third pillar is how to speak up for yourself socially, at work, in dating and relationships, and how to ask for what you want without feeling guilty about yourself. There's sections on all of that. The fourth element of the pillars of Anti Nice, as I call them. I'm smiling because I enjoy this one. Be more selfish. Be more selfish. Which, you know, hearing that right now, you might have a reaction like that sounds bad, but by the time you get there in the book, you're going to be like, yes, I see why. And the whole theme throughout this book, and I say it right at the beginning, is like, look, by being less nice or not nice, you're not going to become a terrible person. You're going to be a better person. You're going to be a more authentic, bold, direct, assertive, powerful, loving and generous person. You're just not forcing yourself to be that way. You just naturally want to be that way because you're being who you are because you're being authentic. So you're going to learn about the selfish spectrum and how there's a dial and you want to turn the dial up. Not all the way. Not crazy, self focused egomaniac, but just a little more than you probably live. And that means being able to put yourself first sometimes being able to say no when you want to, sometimes being able to ask for what you want sometimes. And that chapter will give you the courage, the reinforcement and the how to strategies on how to do that. And then the fifth pillar is say no. How to say no when you want to and when you need to. And just get rid of all that guilt. And I'm a bad person if I do it. And I'm hurting others so much in here about letting go of responsibility for others feelings. So you're not feeling like you're caretaking everyone. There's a whole section on caretaking in here. There's so much good stuff in this book. I am so proud of it. It is the best one to date, I think, in my humble opinion. Now after you learn these five pillars, then we look at like what does that actually look like in your life? And part three is called life on your terms. And we get into how to really apply this stuff. So it's not just a lot of interesting theory. And there's activities and games and exercises throughout, just like all my books. Because theory and insight without action doesn't really get us much. So in part three, we're gonna be applying this into our life. You're gonna be rewriting all of your rules, all the rules that tell you I should be this way and I should be that way and I should be nice, but I'm a bad person if I'm not. You're gonna learn, you're gonna rewrite all those rules for yourself. And one of my favorite chapters is called 100% you. And it's a deep dive into looking at what is the most authentic version of you. Because if you've been struggling with niceness for a long time, and I did for many years, probably like 15, 16 years before, from the age about 10 or 11 to 25, 26, before I really started to learn this stuff. And I just was in that cage of niceness for that whole time. You don't even know who you are. And that's what I experienced. It was to be like, what do I want? And that's a theme in this book, being able to identify what do I want? It's not bad to ask that question. You can actually give yourself permission to ask that. And I want to discover like, what do I want? What do I? Like, who am I? And I'd be like, I don't know. I've been so oriented towards others and pleasing everybody. I don't even know. So that chapter 100% you is a deep dive into that. It's going to illuminate a lot for you. And then there's a few other chapters in there. And then the fourth final part of the book is called Action Now. And that's some very specific nitty gritty. There's a boldness training boot camp action plan in there. You know what to do each day for 21 days to apply what you're learning. Learning. And then some fun stories from my own life because I'm constantly applying this stuff. I'm growing alongside you. So I'm looking for opportunities to be less nice or say no or be more assertive. And you get to read some at the very end there some entertaining and sometimes messy stories of me applying this stuff. So if any of what I'm saying is relevant to you in your life, you want to be more bold, authentic, free, expressive, confident, assertive. Be able to say no. Be able to ask for what you want. Be able to know what you want. Be able to have boundaries, have better romance relationships, have better work relationships. Be seen as a leader. Be a more powerful person. Not stuff your anger, not be afraid of other people being upset with you, not being so worried about if you're okay and if people are going to judge you, if any of that resonates with you. And if you're watching this video and you know my channel, it probably does, you got to get yourself a copy of this book. Now here's the best part. Right now. The book just came out yesterday. Right now the book is 99 cents on Kindle. You can get the whole copy. It's a beast. It's a tome. It's the longest one. I wanted to shorten it, but I was just like, no, people need to learn this stuff. I needed to learn this stuff. Like all my books. This is a book that was written for me maybe like 10 years ago, and it would have just radically changed my life. Instead, I had to learn the hard way and stumble around for years, bumping around and still bumping around, trying to figure out. And then I learn it and then I turn around and teach it. So get it for 99 cents. I mean, it's an incredible steal. And also if you do that and you write a review and you take a screenshot of your purchase and the review send it, email it to me. We'll put the email down below this video in the description as well as a link to the book. And we're going to give you some amazing bonuses because I want to support you in your growth and and there's just two things I want to give you. One is an ebook that I have, it's worth $97 called the Instant Confidence Formula. And it's a really cool formula. So you know, oh, this is how I build confidence in any area that's lasting. And then the other bonus that I want to give you, I'm really excited about this one's worth 497. And this is the complete audio recordings of my Art of Extraordinary Confidence Summit. Actually audio and video. A lot of those are video and that's me sitting down and interviewing the 15 most inspiring, confident, brilliant people I could find and discussing with them. Confidence at all levels. Physical confidence, social confidence, career, money, business confidence, relationship and love confidence as well as like spiritual confidence. Like how do we, how do we have faith in ourselves in life and not live in anxiety and fear and doubt. And I got people like Dan Millman and just amazing authors and speakers that were sharing their journey with me. So you get when you take a screen capture of the review and your purchase, email that using the email down below and we'll send you those bonuses. So it's a win win. And obviously share with your friends and family anyone who you think could benefit from this. I really want this to reach a lot of people because man, some of the stuff that we struggle with and if you're struggling with it right now, you know, is extremely frustrating. It can be very disheartening. And so I really believe that reading this is going to give you a roadmap to find your way out. So get that book, click the link below and let me know what you think. I'd love to hear your review. How it's impacting you, how it's shaping you and changing your life for the better. Until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.