How To Be More Attractive To Women

Do you sometimes get the feeling that women might not be that interested in dating you, talking to you, having you as a boyfriend, and maybe you're having the experience where even if you're trying to talk to women, they just don't seem like they see you that way and you just find that they're not interested, they don't want to talk to you. Maybe they just want to have you as a friend. And if so, watch this episode because you're going to learn exactly how to be more attractive to women. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, best selling author and the founder of the center for Social Confidence. And today we're going to look at how to be more attractive to women. This is a huge topic. There's a ton out there. I realize that. There's also a lot of pickup artist stuff out there. So I'm not going to swallow the whole elephant today in one video. But in this episode you're going to learn something that I think can completely change the course of how you approach this, how you approach women, how you approach confidence in yourself and life in general. You ready? So here's one thing that I found that stops most guys from being really attractive to women and that is that there's this kind of needy, desperate, please like me, I need you to like me or else I'm going to die. And energy. When you talk to a woman, especially the more drawn to her you are, the more attractive you find her, the more compelling she is. The more that goes up, the more this kind of needy, desperate, please like me energy starts to increase. And if you're a woman watching this is the same thing true for a man that you're interested in. I've seen that happen. It happens to go a lot more the other way with guys, especially that woman they're really into. It's like, oh my God, she's baby, she's so beautiful. She's so much better than I am. And that's how you're approaching it. And that's why it's never going to work out. If you come from that place, from that energy, it's almost never going to work out. If it does, it's kind of a fluke and it's going to be short lived. It's going to be a date, two dates, three dates. And then she's like, meh, you're a great guy. I just don't have space for someone in my life right now. I have to go now. Right? And it's because we come from this place of like, whatever you want. I'll be whatever you want. Please like me. Should I change? Do you not like that? Whatever. I'm not even going to share what I am or who I am until I know what you want. And then I'll share that part of myself. That's how we approach it. That's not attractive. She doesn't want that. That's coming to it from like you're a boy trying to please your mother. Mom, what do you want me to do? Want me to clean the dishes for you? Will you love me then? And that's how we're approaching it. We're trying to earn her love by winning her approval. And there's this energy about. It's like, I want this from you. Please give this to me. Please give me your attention. Give me your approval. I need it, I need it, I need it. And when people feel that I need it, I need it, I need it. What is the natural human response to that? Get away from. No, no, I don't want to give it. Even if you wanted to give it in the first place, have you ever had an experience like that? Like you wanted to donate to something or you cared about a certain cause and then the way the person was, they were so needy and desperate about it that you're kind of like, you know what? I don't even want to anymore. Ew. Right? And that's the thing that happens with women is we approach her with that needy, desperate energy and then she's like, ew. Now she doesn't say ew. She might just politely say, no, but that's what's happening unconsciously. Can you relate to what I'm talking about? This is how I lived for years. And you know, you're being needy and desperate because you get super nervous. You overthink everything you're going to say. You feel like this is the best1 opportunity in the world that I'm ever going to have. I better not mess it up. And you get really tense. And then of course you mess it up. That's how you know that you're putting so much pressure on yourself and you're getting so desperate. So let's let that go. Let's let that go right now. How do we do that? Well, first of all, stop this whole idea of like, she's better than me. I'm she's that, she's this, she's too this for me. I'm not enough of that. That's some self esteem shit. You need to handle right now. Get the confidence code. Get 30 days to dating mastery. The whole first week is about how to do that. Because if you're approaching the world and women that way, then they're going to pick up on that and they're going to feel that too. If you're like, well, I don't. Here I am. I'm just not that great of a guy, then she is going to see you as not that great of a guy. Do you see what I'm saying there? Does that make sense to you? You get that and it's true. We can. All that intuitively makes sense to us. So you have to stop doing that. You have to start seeing yourself as a hell of a lot better than you might right now. And there is no this. Well, who's better than that? Out of my league. It's like, there's no league. I can go after whoever I want. If you have that attitude, you're in a much more powerful place. Just stop thinking like that. It's like, am I drawn to her or not? Not who? What league? Where? Am I drawn to her or not? Am I drawn to her? If I am, then I can do this, then I can pursue. Then of course she can be drawn to me as well. And if you develop yourself, you become more confident, become more outgoing, become better at talking to women. It doesn't matter how much money you earn or how you look. It really doesn't. It's pretty crazy how little that stuff actually matters. When you can make her feel a certain way, you can make her feel excited, important, significant, loved, accepted. There's some adventure there that can just activate her more than any amount of the external thing that you're judging yourself on. So first things first. Stop that she's better than me and just go in and just talk to her like a regular person. You know, do something that helps you remember that she's a regular person. Maybe it's that she probably took a dump this morning just like you did. Right? Let's just level the playing field here. We're all just people, right? So just bring it back down to normal. And then instead of approaching, what can I get from her? What can I get your approval? Get you to like me? Get you into bed with me? Show up with what you can give. And that's true for all of life. Show up with how you can bring something to the conversation. It doesn't have to be like this amazing story you have to tell. Just bring yourself. Your presence is bringing something to the conversation. Your attention, your Curiosity, your questions. You don't have to know shit about what anyone's talking about. But if you're curious and you're present, you can have the best conversation in the world. And I've demonstrated that with people, with people that come to my my live weekends, especially the supremely confident conversation master weekend, which is awesome. You can find that in the events page on my website, socialconfidencecenter.com but it doesn't matter. People say, oh, I don't know enough about that topic. You don't need to. You just gotta be present and you gotta be curious. And you can get into any conversation. You can make it fascinating. So you don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to have an amazing story that demonstrates higher value or whatever the pickup artist stuff is. You just need to show up and be curious about her, be present and approach it from that place where you're bringing all of yourself to the conversation, not trying to get something. And you know that your presence adds value. You know that talking to you brings value to the conversation. And if you don't, you got to work on your self esteem until you do. Because you do, your presence does bring value. So you want to bring that into the conversation with her and just see, what can I do? I'm curious. I want to find out about her, I want to connect with her. Of course I might want to ask her her out if it's going well. So there's nothing wrong with that. But do you see how it's different than like, how do I get her to feel and think a certain way towards me? Right? And that's going to repel her. So what instead of what can I get, what can I bring, what can I give in the interaction if you do that, and on top of that, be willing to be a man, not a little boy. So a little boy never challenges his mom. He doesn't say anything against her, he doesn't tease his mom, he doesn't challenge her, he doesn't say no to her. He is nice, compliant, polite and obedient. Right? That is not what a woman wants of you. That is not. And if you show up that way, and most of the time you show up that way unconsciously, especially if we're nervous, we show up that way more often. If you show up that way, she is not going to be attracted to you for the most part. So what do you need? You need to show up instead more bold. You need to say things that are not totally polite, blurt things out, tease her a little bit, challenge her, be willing to create a little bit of friction and rock the boat. Because if you play it super nice, you're not going to have any discomfort or conflict or tension or anything. And then you're not going to have anything because she's not going to want to hang out with you again or she's not going to see you the kind of guy that she wants to date. You're going to build that energy by being more of a man, by stepping up by challenger. And you'd already probably do this with your guy friends. You just have to stop being such a scared, oh God, I don't want to mess it up with her. And just let yourself be more of you around her. And a lot of that stuff will come naturally. And if you want to enhance that and learn how to do that, how to tease, how to flirt, how to challenge, how to do it all without some sort of weird pickup artist script playing, but just being more of your natural self. You got to check out my program, 30 days to dating Mastery. Because we go deep in that there's four phases. Phase one is all about your self esteem. Phase two is all about how to talk to anyone. Phase three is about how to talk to women. Specifically flirt, challenge, tease, how to generate attraction. And then phase four is how to actually enjoy dates and have an awesome dating life. Incredible program. You can go to 30days to dating mastery.com to get it. And regardless of what you do, if you get out there and start approaching in this different way that I'm sharing, then you will get different results and you'll notice that women respond entirely differently to you. So go out there and apply this until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon. Sam.