How To Be More Socially Confident in 2024

I want to give you three powerful strategies to become more confident in 2024. You can follow these steps and your social confidence will significantly improve. This isn't just a theory or a wish or a hope. I've been practicing teaching people how to build their social confidence for over 19 years, have a background in clinical psychology and coaching, and I've written six best selling books on the subject. So I can tell you with certainty that if you follow these three steps, you're going to, you will be more confident. Not by the end of the year, but step by step, month by month, week by week, this stuff works. Confidence is a muscle and you can build it. You just have to engage in the process. Like going to the gym. You're not going to get stronger unless you practice this stuff. You ready? Okay. The first step to building your social confidence in 2024 is this. Decide right now as you're watching this that you're going to become a confident person. Now that might seem like what? That's the first step. What are the real steps? Disease. Tell me what to do. It doesn't matter what you do. Because most people that I work with who've had this problem for 10, 20, 30, 40 years is they maybe unconsciously see themselves as an anxious person, as an inferior person, as the tag along, the third wheel, the loser, the one that no one wants to be with. And so you can take a bunch of action, but if you're just confirming your old identity, the action will not set you free. You have to decide, hey, I'm gonna change who I am. It doesn't matter who I was, who I want to be. I'm gonna become a confident person. And here's the beautiful thing. There is no secret club. It's not like, as you decide you're gonna be a confident person, that someone out there is gonna be like, wait a minute, don't let him in. He's not allowed. He's not one of the confident people. Nobody knows. You get to decide it, you get to become it. What determines whether you do or not? You do. And so you say, you know what? I want to become a confident person. That's who I'm going to be in this year. That's what I'm going to practice. And by the end of this year, it's going to be no doubt that I am the most confident version of me that I've ever become. You have to open up that possibility in your identity. Step number two is you have to start to change the way you perceive yourself, the way you think about yourself and so you want to come up with what are the things that a confident person would believe about themselves. And I would suggest not just going to the Internet and finding some great affirmations like, I'm great, I'm wonderful, and everybody likes me. Nothing against affirmations. It can be a powerful tool as you build confidence, but you want to come up with what feels like it's going to be the most accurate and empowering and realistic and believable for you. So if telling yourself everybody likes me and I'm wonderful feels like a crock, then say, you know what, I have a lot to offer in relationships. Isn't that true? And if you're like, no, I don't, Aziz, I'm just terrible in every way, then you got to go back to step one because now you're focused on trying to reinforce your old garbage identity of I'm a loser and nobody likes me and I'm going to eat worms. That's about self pity and trying to stay in control of your life by keeping it downsized and small. And that's not going to be what a confident life looks like. So you have to make that first step, that decision to say, you know what? I'm going to be my most bold, confident self. That's who I'm going to be in the world. Then number two is what does that guy, what does that girl think about themselves? What do they believe about themselves? Well, a lot of people are going to want to be my friend. I have a lot to offer. I'm intelligent, I'm capable, I am a fun and interesting person. Find some couple of key ideas, beliefs, and even if you don't totally believe them, they do seem quite reasonable. We're not talking about extreme stuff here. We're just talking about getting out of that toxic self critical narrative. And if you have a really hard time with this, what would someone that loves you say about you? What would a best friend say about you? What would a mentor, a coach or a lover say about you? Write those at least three of them down. Stick with three, write them down and I want you to read them to yourself each day. Or if you can memorize them and say them out loud at least once a day, then number three is to say, okay, I am this confident person. I believe these things about myself soon. What would I do? What would I do if I was totally 100% confident myself? Have I had unstoppable, unlimited confidence? What would I do this week? And then just let it come to you? You might start to see things. Well, I would speak up there. I would definitely go approach that person, try to make something happen there. I would ask that person out. I'd email that person back. I'd charge more for this. I'd go apply for this. I'd say this in my company, I'd say this to my parents, whatever it is, your family, your health, your social life, your career, the most confident version of you, how would that person show up? What would they actually do? Start to write those down, brainstorm a list. Hopefully it's more than just one or two things. Make it 10 things, 20 things. Some of those things are going to feel not that uncomfortable. Some of those things are going to make you sweat just to write them down. But do it. Because otherwise none of this is going to change. It's going to be a fantasy. And you want to end the year with the same stories as the previous year, the same actions, the same old you then just do more of the same. But if you want to change this, you got to put some energy, some effort, some work into this. So write those things down. And then guess what? You're going to practice those things. You're going to do that. Because the confidence that you seek is a byproduct of action. And if you want a proven system to help you know how to organize these things and what order to do them and make it not overwhelming, you absolutely want to check out Confidence University. It's my system that guides you through building core confidence and then confidence in each key area of your life. Your social confidence, we call it social mastery, dating and relationship confidence, and career confidence. All the key areas that you want to be your most confident, bold, self in and in each of those courses. So Confidence University includes four courses, the core confidence and those three that I just mentioned. And in each of those, you're going to be systematically building what we call your ladder to victory. So you can take these specific actions and build on them week in, week out. Like a gym where you're getting stronger, plus specific lessons and guidance every single step of the way. Plus a monthly group training call with my master coach, Ben. So, so many opportunities to learn. If you get that guidance and not just kind of figure this out on your own, then check out Confidence University. You can go to draziz.coM-R-A z I z.com and under products, it'll say the Confidence University, you can learn all about it. But the key thing to take away from this video is you have to put this into practice so Step number one is you're going to decide I am going to be a confident person. That's who I'm going to be. Number two, I'm going to say the things. Pick at least three that a confident person believes about themselves. I'm going to repeat them to myself each day. And then number three is I'm going to do the things that the more confident version of me does. Maybe small at first, take the easier stuff. That's what the ladder to victory is in Confidence University. But over time, before you know it, you'll be doing more than you ever had. New things and your confidence will grow. This is a proven process. This is guaranteed to work if you work it. So share down in the comments below. What are you finding most useful? What questions do you have? What future videos do you want me to make in this beautiful new year of 2024? And I hope that you become the most confident version of you. It is so available. It's just a matter of you claiming it and deciding it and then making it happen. All right, thanks for being with me today. Until we speak again, we have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.