A short YouTube talk by Dr. Aziz presenting three practical keys to becoming socially confident and outgoing: (1) your self-concept is learned and can change, (2) change follows behavior — practice speaking up and approaching people, and (3) the main barrier is fear of self-rejection rather than others' judgment, so "get on your own side" and keep practicing to build confidence.
Three keys to being socially confident and outgoing. Number one is who you think you are is just that it's who you think you are. So I thought I was quiet and awkward and the shy guy, and so I behaved that way. And then, lo and behold, that's who I was. And I thought, this is just who I am, and I can't change that. So key number one is realizing you can change who you are. So how do you do that? Leads to number two. The way to change who you are is to change how you're behaving. And so if you always hold back and are quiet and, oh, I don't want to share that, and I don't want to go approach those people, Speak up, Approach those people, start practicing that today, and it will become you. Which leads to number three. The biggest obstacle is not that you can't change. It's you're afraid of other people judging you. You're afraid of it going awkwardly. You're afraid of rejection. And the key to become socially confident outgoing is to realize that you're not afraid of their rejection of you. You're afraid of your rejection of yourself. When you heal that and you get on your own side, you can go out there and put yourself out there again and again and again and radically become more confident, outgoing than ever before.
