Dana Donna asks Dr. Aziz whether caring less about others' opinions means openly discussing taboo subjects like pornography in a stigmatized country. Dr. Aziz says yes: cultivate internal decisiveness, prioritize your boundaries over approval, and choose how boldly to express yourself. More authenticity attracts some people and repels others.
Hey, Dr. Aziz here. And I have another question from a viewer which I'm going to answer right now. His name is Dana Donna. And here it goes. Your book and videos are really helping me out to become a better person. That's awesome. And this is great. Listen to this. I'm becoming more selfish than I was. It feels bad at first, then it feels completely awesome. I love that. Feels bad at first, then. Then it's completely awesome. Take it from Dana. Take it from me. That's true. And check out my video, be More Selfish. If you haven't seen that one. When we do this, it feels bad at first. We're pushing against our comfort zone, right? All those voices in our head say, oh, you're so bad. You're so wrong. You shouldn't do this. People are going to hate you. But when you keep doing, you keep persisting. And when he says be more selfish, my guess is he means asking for what he wants, saying no when he doesn't want to do something, and just taking care of himself, having some respect for himself. And he feels awesome. That's awesome. It feels bad at first, and then it feels completely awesome. I love that. Thank you so much. I have one other question for you. Here is his question. You say not to care about anyone's disapproval. Do you mean like anything? For example, in my country, I wonder what country that is. It's a taboo to watch porn. Kind of a taboo to watch porn. And all countries. I don't know, some European countries, at least in America. I mean, no one talks about that. It's pretty underground. But anyway, in my country, maybe it's extra taboo in his country to watch porn and people always avoid talking about it. So when someone posts or mentions the word porn, other people think that this person is somewhat disrespectful or a bad guy. So is it okay also to not care about these people? Also post or talk about anything I like without trying to get approvals from anyone? That's a great question, man. Here's my question to you. What do you think? And that's what I want you to do, is start activating you and everyone else, all of us, we want to start having an internal sense of decisiveness. I am a leader in my life. I determine what's right for me. I don't. Dr. Aziz. I don't determine what's right for you. Refer to myself in third person. Donald Trump esque. I don't determine what's right for you. You do. So you got to check in with yourself. And I Would say, you can take this as far as you want in terms of not needing people's approval. I personally have found the less that I guide my behavior based upon what is appropriate or what other people I think want, the more powerful I become. And wouldn't you know it, the more people like me. Some people might hate me, be pissed off at me, but more and more people like me, the bolder I become. So this guy who posts about porn, maybe he's being really bold and maybe some people are going to say, oh, maybe a lot of people are saying, oh, it's so bad. But you know what, Maybe other people are going to be drawn to him and maybe other people are going to see him as like, progressive or something. Now you got to find this for you and for everyone else. How he's posting about it might not feel good to you, right? Because, like, there's one way to post about it, which is like some sort of, I don't know, thoughtful thing, like, what does it mean or why, you know, what's this? Or whatever. But just like, check out this. Bleh. You know, I don't know, on a public forum, maybe that doesn't work for you. So you got to see what works for you, for your internal sense, not from what you think other people are going to want you. And I personally think that we need to talk a lot more about porn. I should be. I should be doing more videos about porn. It comes up. It came up in my mastermind group just on a recent call. Isn't it crazy how I don't know what the stats are. We're probably like 99% of men who have access to the Internet have at some point looked at, watched, engaged with, masturbated to, or done something with porn. And yet how often do we talk about it? Almost never. Zero, right? And it's loaded with shame. How many of us have felt uncomfortable afterwards, like, oh, God, dirty, right? Or anything. Shame not wanting to talk about it with a girlfriend or a partner or a wife. It causes fights. I mean, it is a huge issue. This is great. I'm going to actually record more videos about that. And so maybe there's some boldness there that you want to bring out. Maybe you want to talk about something real and other people are scared to. So really, the choice is yours. And I'd say take it as far as you want. And guess what? The more you speak up, the more you don't care what other people think, the more people are going to love you. And the more some people are going to hate you. And that's just how it is. And that's what that's the cost of being free. And the benefit of being free, too, because you get a ton of people who really like you and know you and love you. So that's my answer to your question. If you benefited from this or any other video and want to get more, subscribe below. If you want to ask me questions, post below. In this video, I will be answering more and more of those to engage with you. And like, let's all support each other and help each other become the most awesome, confident version of ourselves until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.
