How To Choose Confidence with Jason Goldberg

Coming to you from the center for Social Confidence in Portland, Oregon, welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy. Helping men everywhere go from social anxiety to social domination. With your host, Dr. Aziz. Welcome to today's episode of the show. Today, we're going to be diving into choice, freedom and decisions. Really powerful stuff. Because, I mean, at the end of the day, I mean, let me step back here. You probably want to be more free if you're listening to this show, if you listen to any of these, you know, it's all about how do we become more socially free, more socially liberated, more confident, so we can go do whatever we want. Whether you want to be able to talk to people more or just feel better about yourself, more confident or. Or walk into a room like a badass, or be able to go get that person that you're most attracted to and just create a connection with them. You want to be free to do something, free to be yourself. And there's these forces that mostly are inside of us, should I say entirely inside of us. Well, sometimes there can be some external stuff that gets in the way, but 98% of the time, internal forces that are keeping us stuck, keeping us held back. And the external stuff, well, we also have a choice about that as well. As you'll see. I'm excited because I'm going to get into an interview with an amazing coach who teaches a lot about how to take more ownership in our lives, how to stop being in the passenger seat, being a victim of circumstance, and really get into a sense of. I create what happens to me in my life. And the reason that's so powerful is because for many years, I walked around feeling like things just happened to me. If I didn't get something, that's because that just didn't happen. Those people don't want to be my friend. She doesn't want to date me. There's no jobs that I could do that would want to hire me. It was sort of all outside of me, and it kept me really limited and what was possible for me, not only that, but emotions just happened to me. Fear just happened to me. Anxiety just happened to me. And I didn't feel like I had a sense of control. I felt like this is just who I was. This was that I was doomed to live. And if you on some level feel that way or think that way, I am so glad that we're talking here today. In a moment, I want to introduce you to my guest. I'm going to dive into our interview. Before we do, if you'd like to jump into the conversation, please go to shrinkforthshyguy.com you can find out more about the episodes, about the show. You can subscribe there on itunes and you can also click to leave a message there. Whether it's text or even audio. Someone just left me an audio as well from Pakistan I believe, and it was awesome. I really appreciated that. So you can leave your questions there for upcoming Ask the Shrink segments. You can also just share about your experience, successes, challenges, wherever you're at. I'd love to hear from you. So shrinkforthshyguy.com youm can also call the studio hotline to do the same thing. 206-338-3176 so without further ado, let's jump into that interview and as always, get yourself a sheet of paper. Get something to take notes on because the more you know, there's interesting research about if you listen to something and you don't take notes and you're in a passive state when you listen, that means you're kind of sitting there. Maybe you're driving, your mind's sort of focused, or maybe your mind's really focused, but you're just sort of in a passive state that within three months, 90 days, you'll remember less than 10% of it. And some studies show it's even in as little as 30 days you'll remember less than 10% of it. If you take notes, even if you never read the notes, you'll remember 40 to 50% of it. Now that's pretty cool. And if you take action on what you're learning, you get engaged in what you're learning, you not only take notes but then you go apply it in your life. Then recall shoots up 90% because you're not just passively learning, you're actively engaging. So as much as you can get engaged with this stuff, take notes, that's how it's gonna change your life. That's how you're able to apply it. So let's jump into that interview right now.

Expert Interview.

What does an award winning entrepreneur, a baconatarian that's a vegetarian who still eats bacon, a former rapper who opened for the Wu Tang clan and previously 332 pound man who has since lost over 130 pounds despite his affinity for bacon, have in common? They're all actually the same guy who's my guest expert today. Jason Goldberg, JG is what he goes by for short, is a geek turned entrepreneur turned transformational speaker, trainer and coach. As the founder of miometry, JG has delivered talks and training and coached thousands of aspiring and inspiring leaders, entrepreneurs, and groups to create the mindset and the skillset, to take ownership of the reality, commit to creative action, become more prosperous, and have a bigger impact in the world. And that's exactly why I'm bringing Jason on the show today, because I met him a while back at a training that we were both in, and he did those things. He opened up my world, inspired me, and I was totally impressed by how he shows up in the world with confidence and with so much more leadership in his life, and it inspires others. So thank you so much for joining us on the show today, Jason.

Oh, man, I'm so thrilled to be here. I appreciate that's really sweet what you said, and I feel the same way about you. And when I first met you, I just. I felt really connected to you, and there was just like, this instant bromance that formed, and it was just a lot of fun. And now I realize that I go by JG and now you can go by AG and then we're like, we're rhyming right from the start.

Dude, that could some sort of rapping tag team.

That would be awesome.

That's so cool. Although my rapping is, I like to do it on my own when no one's around, but I haven't busted loose to be able to do it around others yet. So what will be is if we're the rapping tag team, you'd be the guy who kind of does the main line, and I'm that. I don't know if there's a word for it in the rapping world, but there's the guy who just hits the last word of every line. You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah.

That's the hype, man.

That's like how Flavor Flav made his entire money in the world. All in the world. That's it.

You be my hype man because I'm the baddest man. I'm like, man in the background. I love it.

That would be awesome. We'll make that happen. That'll be the next interview we do.

People have to stay tuned for that one, but thank you so much for joining me. And I think you have a ton to offer everyone who's listening about how to break out of their shells, how to be more confident, how to believe in themselves more, and then apply that to many different areas of their life, their social life, their relationships, as well as business and career. So just there's some interesting hooks in your intro there. So people are probably curious and the first thing that people want to know about is. So can you tell us a little bit about your story and how you went from where you were to where you are now?

Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, growing up, I grew up in a single parent family. I was raised by a single mother and I'm an only child and single Jewish mother. So I always say she can hear everything we're saying right now. She knows exactly what's going on. She's waiting to pounce if I say too far off color. But yes, I was raised in this household and my mother's a wonderful woman. I love her to death. And we had this thing in our house where everything happened to us. We were always a victim of circumstance. And so whether we were happy or sad was dependent upon something outside of us making us happy or sad. And that's just the only way I ever knew how to live as I grew up. Especially being very overweight, getting from being £250 when I was 15, which of course, as you know, and everybody listening knows the age of 15 is when kids are really just accepting and loving. So being a 250 pound guy at 15 was not easy. And so I had people making fun of me a lot and I relied on comedy and kind of use that as a mask because I felt like, hey, that's all I had to offer the world. And so even though on the outside I was laughing and making jokes and doing whatever I could to honestly to not cry, I was dealing with a lot of anxiety and depression and at certain points in my life, even some suicidal thoughts. And I realized that I can't blame anybody for that. I'm not going to blame the way I was raised or the mindset that my mother holds. That's for her to own and for her to work on if she chooses to. But in my own life, I finally realized that something wasn't working. And it's not something I realized super early. I realized it probably when I was 30. So just about five years ago, it hasn't been that long that I've really been kind of living this way or trying to live in this way where I said, hey, I'm going to take ownership for the way I show up in the world. And I'm not going to walk around saying, who can I blame? And I'm not going to walk around saying that's just the way I am. I'm going to put all that stuff aside and say, what do I want to create? Who do I Want to be in this world. What serves me as I move forward in my life. That's been the big transformation for me. Outside of the weight loss and being an entrepreneur and all these other things that I've done that people. It's in my bio and people like to talk about, There are much smaller, nuanced things that are a part of my reinvention that I feel are the real big victories. Does that make sense?

Absolutely. And there's so many good phrases in there. One of them just being reinvention and not saying, this is just who I am. And who can I blame? We're gonna pause right here and take a quick break and then jump back into our interview with Jason Goldberg. Have you ever noticed how some people just walk into a room like they own the place? They are cool, calm, collected, and other people slink in as quietly as possible, almost as if they hope no one sees they exist? Which one of those do you want to be? Unleash your confidence today and start creating.

The life you want.

Go to confidenceunleashednow.com to get started now. So let's dive into that now, because I think that's a place that many of us can just slide into without knowing it, especially if we haven't really worked on that distinction to shift into a place of ownership. So what does that even. Let's say someone has never even heard that. Someone's listening is like, what does that mean, ownership of my life? So what would that mean to stop blaming and get into ownership?

Yeah, it's a great question. And the thing is that it's a form of language. And so just like I was raised with the language of being a victim. And by being a victim, I mean, I was at the whim or the mercy of circumstance. If there was a down economy, then it. It was the economy's fault that I wasn't making money. If a girl didn't like me back then, it was the girl's fault that she didn't like me or I wasn't good enough. And it was just always this victim mentality of. It's always something outside of me that I can't control that's creating the experience of my life that I'm having. So shifting to being an owner, which is not a permanent, pervasive thing, I didn't wake up one day and say, I'm shifting to owner, and now from now on, I'm an owner. No, I have victim moments, of course, because I'm human. It's a moment by moment choice. So back to your question about being an owner, being an owner doesn't mean you control the world around you, right? That's either. If you think you can do that, then that's either a God complex or naive or delusional or whatever. But what it means is I can control my response. I can control the perspective and the meaning that I assign to the things that are going on around me. It's not about being rainbows and butterflies. It's not about wearing the rose colored glasses or being Pollyanna. It's not about lying to yourself. But it's about saying, given this situation, even if the situation is not the ideal situation, you lose a job. I'm not saying that you go, hey, this is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. But what you can do is you can say, given this situation and given the fact that all that I can control is my response and my perspective and the meaning I give to this and what I choose to do moving forward, what do I want to create in this moment? And when we can ask ourselves that question from a place where we actually feel open to answering it, right, not to say like, oh, I don't have any control over this, then we're kind of sliding back to victim. But if we can say in that moment, hey, I don't know what that's going to look like, but the perspective I'm going to take is I have control over some aspect of this, and so I want to do what I can to exercise that control in this moment. Does that make sense?

Absolutely does to me. And I think what I'm excited to talk with you about is some people listening. That's the first time they've heard that. And that is an incredibly powerful question that you just offered. I mean, I think that's worth its weight in gold. If we can ask ourselves, given this situation, even if it's challenging, what do I want to create from here that's going to set you on a different course in your life. And I know that there's some forces inside of us, there's some momentum to old patterns, to old ways of perceiving that can hinder us on the path to being more free in our lives, more of an owner, more of a creator. And I want to offer some of them to you and see how you, given your work with this and helping other people do it, sort of like the fine nuances of it that I think people listening might bump up against and see how we can help them. So one is this the momentum to this is who I am and this is the way I am, especially, let's say, the example of you lose the job or you don't get the girl, and you think to yourself, I'm a pathetic loser. It's very strong. That voice is very intense in our heads, and it's sort of this pervasive feeling. And I'd imagine that's one of the first things. So someone listening could be intellectually be like, yeah, of course I'm gonna do that. And then they hit that snag, and there's that crushing sense of, this is who I am. And so what are your thoughts on how someone could work with the momentum of that identity?

So cool. So if we take a step back for a second, what I'll ask everybody listening, and you, too, Dr. G, to just have the openness, to be willing to be open to the possibility that what we talk about is something that is possible for you. And the reason I say that is because, again, like Dr. G was saying here, that based on our conditioning or based on patterns in the past, it can be very easy to talk ourselves into. Oh, well, what they're talking about would never work for me. Or that would take me years of work to get to a place where that's even a possibility for me. And I get that, because if you've only ever spoken one language your entire life, if you've only ever spoken English your entire life, and now you're listening to this podcast, and we're saying, hey, Chinese is so easy to learn, your first reaction, which would be warranted, would be to say, no, it would take me forever to learn Chinese. It's a whole different language. And so what I'd like you to do is be willing, just for this time that we're together today, to put that belief aside. We're not saying it's true. We're not saying it's false, but just put that belief aside and be willing and be open to the fact that there actually may be a very simple way to. For you to make this transition into ownership. Does that make sense?

Yeah, I'm on board.

Cool, cool, cool. And this is something I have to do for myself, too, right? Because it's not like the more work you do on yourself, the more open you are. Sometimes the more work you do on yourself, the more resistant you are to different ideas that are not in line with what you've already done to work on yourself. So we all have the ability to be a little more open and just to kind of say, hey, this may work for me. It may Not. But let me at least listen with the ears and watch with the eyes and have the open heart of transformation and not just resign myself to say, oh, this is going to be too difficult. This won't work for me. Because in my experience, when we are open that way, this way of being, this transformation to being more of an owner can actually be very, very simple and can actually happen instantly.

Yeah, well, I think as all. Any shift of perspective or way of being in the world, I think does happen instantly. And then we, you know, we could choose. We flip back. But then the moment where it shifts, I think is in a moment. And the idea that it's years and years and years of doing it, that's maybe to get it really consistent or to be a new center of gravity, but a shift can happen in a moment. So I absolutely agree with that.

Cool. Cool. So. So going back to your question about that's just the way I am, right? And that's. That was a such a huge one for me because with me, a big thing that I had an issue with, and I don't know if anybody listening has had issue, just issues with just themselves. But my thing was anger. I had a lot of anger issues. And I would like. I was the idiot that, like, punched holes in walls and would, like, chase people in traffic if they cut me off, Which I don't know why I would do that because I'm such a wimp. Like, if I caught them, what would I do? Like, I had no idea. But I still, my brain, I wasn't thinking. I was just reacting because that's just the way I am. And. And my wife was the first one to say to me, I remember we were cut off in traffic on I4, which is in Orlando, Interstate 4. And we used to live in Florida. And this guy cut me off, and I got really, really pissed off about it. And she said to me, you know, why do you choose to react that way? And it was like. It was like I had been speaking English. And she said something to me in Chinese. I'm like, I don't know. I don't understand the question. I don't. I don't get it. That doesn't make sense to me. Can you rephrase it? And she said, I just don't understand why you don't choose to be a different way. And I remember saying, like. Like a badge of honor. Like, I was so proud. I said, that's just the way I am. I can't change that. It's just the way I am. And it was such a. It was like a badge of honor, and it was this debilitating crutch all at the same time. And so what I finally realized over time was this very simple distinction. That's just the way I am is a diagnosis, right? And, you know, like WebMD, when WebMD came out, it was the worst thing in the world in my household because I was a teenager, and my mother, this neurotic Jewish woman, now, she had something to validate every disease that she didn't have, right? And that's what we do. We look for validation that something going on in our world is something permanent and pervasive. So we could say, oh, well, that explains that I have this. I have xyz. Very rarely does that actually empower us to do anything about it. But instead, it often has the opposite effect that allows us to kind of just succumb to it. And that's what I was doing. So when I was saying, that's just the way I am, I was saying, here's my diagnosis now leave me alone and let me die.

That's the thing that I think is behind the. It's so interesting as you're saying that I'm realizing that's just the way I am. And sort of that. That stance, that owning that there's sort of like, that's the way I am. And so get off my back about it. I can let go of any. I feel powerless to change it. Or when I feel bad about this behavior, I feel like I'm not good enough for having it, or all this stuff is underneath the surface. And when we can say, that's just the way I am, there's like this moment of relief of like, oh, thank God, I don't have to change this. I don't have to do anything about this, because that's just how I am.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then. So here's the good thing about that, is that I don't tell anybody they should change, Right? Because nobody should change. Right. When we talk about reinventing ourselves or shifting from being a victim to an owner, this is not about the right way or the wrong way, Right? So I'm not saying you need to or you should or you must do this for me, it's just more effective in my life. So whatever serves you. If being. If that's just the way I am, if whatever comes along with your version of that's just the way I am is serving you, is helping you feel the way you want to feel in your life. If you wake up every day and go to bed every night, and in between, you're, for the most part, feeling the way you want to feel. And that's just the way I am as a part of that, then, great, then there probably isn't a reason to do anything about that. But at least for me, my version of that's just the way I am came with anger and came with depression and came with barriers and issues in my own personal, professional relationships. And so that's just the way I am was holding me back. And so that's why I knew, hey, maybe I should experiment, even just for fun, I should experiment with a different way of being. And so my shift was from the diagnosis of that's just the way I am to recognizing that everything I was doing was a simple decision. And that's it. That's it. It was a decision, for better or for worse, in every single moment of my life, it was a decision. I was deciding whether subconsciously or not I was making a decision to show up a certain way. And that is the most empowering and at first, debilitating and depressing thing to realize, because now it's like, oh, crap, I'm the one that's created this. Right? So at first you can be like, oh, crap, I'm the one that's created this. Great. Now I have something else to beat myself up about. But then if you really kind of sit with it for a minute, you say, oh, I created this, which means I can create anything else I want.

Instead, we're going to pause one more time, take a quick break, and then jump back into the next section of our interview with Jason. Quick question for you. Do you think that working with Dr. Aziz directly could help you accelerate your progress? After personally conquering his shyness, he's gone on to help thousands of others do the same. Starting in March of 2015, you now have a chance to work with him directly in a new total confidence group coaching program. Learn how to take charge of your life, generate confidence at will, and eliminate your fears of rejection and failure. Go to socialconfidencecenter.com coaching to find out more. Can you tell me more about. I created this. What is the this that are you looking at sort of your. Your relationship or your, you know, maybe you're not in a relationship. You're single, You're. You're looking for someone, you're alone, or maybe you. You want a better stance or position at work and you're not there. Are you looking at all the external things and saying, I created this?

Yeah, it's a great question. I haven't thought about it externally, but it definitely, it definitely makes sense externally. So, so what I'm saying is that I have created the way that I'm showing up, the way I feel on the inside. And that definitely is affecting what then is happening in my outer world. So if I've decided if I've created this version of me that's angry and anxious or is really self conscious or feels really scared to talk to people in a situation where we don't know people, or I'm really afraid to approach that woman and say hello to her, if I realize I've created that internal environment which then is obviously affecting my external environment, if I've created the belief that I can't go talk to that woman, then I don't go talk to that woman. So there's my internal creating my external. But if I realize that I created that, it means I also have the potential. And this is again going back to, hey guys, let's just be willing and open to the possibility that this is a fact. Because just like you said a little while ago, intellectually this probably makes sense, but we want to get it deeper. We want to get it like a joke where we don't have to think about it. It's just a part of who we are is that if we created that version of ourselves that was too scared to go talk to somebody new, it also means we have the potential to create a different version of ourselves that is excited and enthusiastic about going to talk to that person instead.

Yes, I like that. Those are great things to be when we approach someone else and great things to feel. And so one of the things that I'm curious to ask you about is probably one of the biggest obstacles that comes up for people is fear and fear of talking to those people, fear of doing whatever. And how would you say that we're creating the fear? And if so, how do we, how do we create something different like excitement or enthusiasm or courage or confidence?

Yeah, yeah. And we definitely do. We create those things. And the funny thing is that the best way for me, the most effective way for me that I've seen to shift myself into being in a place where for me, enthusiasm is a big word. That's my word. Like, I know that when that sounded like really rapid, that's my word. But that, that is my word. When I'm. When I'm enthusiastic, I know that everything else works for me. Right? And so everybody listening to this probably has whatever their version of that is, whatever their Word is that they know when that is present in their life. When they feel that way, whatever that is, they just show up at their best. Do you know what that will be for you?

You know, I love enthusiasm. I might try that one on. But before this conversation, for me, it's bold. When I am bold and I show up with that boldness, it gives me permission to do different things. I talk about things in a different way. I don't hesitate before approaching someone or taking something on. And I'm playful and energetic. I am bold.

I love that. Yeah, yeah. Bold, playful, energetic. So you know that when you show up that way, right? This is. This is all about a place to come from, not a place to get to. Okay, so I want to say that again. This is about a place to come from. This is about me coming from a place of enthusiasm. It's about you coming from a place of boldness and playfulness and energetic. You know, being energetic. It's coming from that place. It's not about doing something in order to feel those things. Does that make sense?

Yeah. Well, I think that's what we're doing often is I will do A, B and C. And then I can be X, Y, and Z. And there's this illusion, right, that where it's like, well, oh, I must need to do more A, B and C because it's not working. Or I think it's also a clever way to put it out really far into the future. Versus, if I were bold, how would I show up right now? Or if I were enthusiastic, what would I do right now? What about someone listening who hears that and says, wait a minute, are they just saying, fake it till you make it? What are your thoughts on that?

Fake it till you make it is interesting. So I love the phrase. I love the term because I think it's. At least it starts to move us forward. But fake it till you make it still assumes that it's not a part of who you are, that it's still something that you have to eventually achieve. And my view, and this is a visualization sometimes I'll do with people when I do live talks, is I'll have people close their eyes and you guys can all feel free to do this as well. I'll have people close their eyes and imagine that there are a thousand versions of themselves in front of them, right, that are all looking at you. So you're kind of on stage, and then it's all these versions of you staring back at you, smiling. They're happy, they're excited. To see you. They're not, you know, intimidating or anything. And they're all wearing T shirts. And on the T shirts they have some kind of quality written. They have bold, they have creative, they have loving, they have compassionate, they have fearless. They have all of these words written across their chest. And you are basically the coach of this amazing all star team of thousands of people that are all clamoring for you to just point at them and put them in the game. They're all waving their arms at you saying, coach, pick me, pick me. And so at any given time, because all of those versions of you are available to you when you need the bold one, you just look over at the bold one and point and say, hey, bold version of me, you're in the game. Hey, playful version of me, you're in the game. Enthusiastic version of me, you're in the game. So it's not about faking it, it's about that. These people are all inside of us just waiting to be chosen to come out and be on the court instead of being in the stands and this conceptual thing, we're going to fake it till we make it. They're on the court with us. They're playing the game with us. They are a part of who we are as soon as we choose to put them in the game.

I love it. I was doing that as you were talking about. That's really powerful. And had a big smile on my face and imagining the eagerness to. To come out. And it's absolutely true what you're saying, because I have the privilege of having a little son right now and to see how we develop as people. And he's about 18 months, year and a half, where they can do anything, they can express anything. There's no limitation on enthusiasm or anger or joy. I mean, just extreme expressions of emotion. And even as little kids, if you can think back, we're able to be all of those things. And it's only as we get older that we kind of prune off some of the branches or we underuse them. And so we're like, I don't know about that one. That one. I feel a little foolish doing that, or I don't know about that one. And so then it does feel like we're faking it because it feels, oh, it's not me. But then I love your. Your visualization there, because it's all in there. They're just waiting for us to call them out. I love it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's actually, there's a movie that there's literally probably six people in the world who have seen it. So if you've seen it, I'll be really, really surprised. It was a movie back In, I think, 2001. 2002 was called the one. It was a Jet Li movie. Did you ever see that?

I don't remember anything about it, but yes, I did. I did watch that one I was into Jet Li for. Was it Hard Boiled? Was that another Jet Li one?

It's like, I think it was him.

Like kicking in, you know, doors in a hospital and just like shooting 4,000 people.

Oh God, the poor man. Jackie Chan. But the premise of the movie was it had, first of all, it had martial arts and it had time travel. So I was like totally in. That's all I need. And it's like two of my biggest things. And it was a really, just interesting stupid premise, but it really hit me. So do I have just a second to tell you about the premise of the movie?

I think we all need to hear about this movie.

Okay, cool. I'm saving you guys a few hours of your life because you don't need to watch the whole movie. You just need to hear this premise because it's cool. So it takes place in the future. And I don't know what the future, the Future was probably 2010 since it was 2001, but whatever. None of the stuff happened that was in the movie. And they have this. They have. Time travel exists, right? And they realize there are 125 different alternate universes, different realities going on at one time. And in every single one of these universes, there's a different version of you with different strengths and different skills and different intelligence level and different everything. Just totally different versions of you and all these different realities. And so in one of the realities there is a Jet Li's character is this really evil guy. And what he has discovered is that if he time travels between realities, which this time travel is illegal, so so they even have like a multiverse authority policing body that's supposed to make sure people don't travel between worlds. But he has figured out that if he time travels between these different realities and kills the other versions of himself, then he will gain all of their power, all of their strength. And if he's able to kill all 124 of the other versions of him, he becomes the one. He becomes godlike. And it was so interesting because as ridiculous and far fetched as it is, that's what really got me onto this kick of oh my God, there's already 125 or many more versions of us. And we don't have to kill them in order to get their power. We can simply call on them. And so I loved that he realized this and realized there was a way to assimilate that person into him just by. Well, in his world, he had to kill them, but in my world, just by being with them, just by inviting them to be a part of where he is in the world. And so that's kind of where this idea came up for me, that we have infinite versions of ourselves that are just waiting for us to say, hey, you, I need you right now. Please come in. I'm gonna go take a break and I need you to fill in for me. You, you courageous one, come fill in for me. I'm gonna go hang out for a little while. And that's all it takes.

I really love this idea, Jason, of like the. Of the team inside and calling on the one or ones that are. That are needed. And in fact, I have a question about that. Before I do, though, I think I need to share. Talk about the premise of Jean Claude Van Damme's Time Cop.

I love Time Cop. That's one of my favorites.

I'm kidding. Because that one does have time travel and martial arts too. But no, I love this. And so the question I have for you is, how do you personally call on enthusiasm when you want it, when you need it? What do you. Is there a little ritual you do or just to put? Like, if we were to be inside of your head and you were to coach us on how you bring about enthusiasm, what do you do that brings us to the end of the show? In the biz, we call that a cliffhanger. What's he gonna say? Trust me, it's gonna be awesome. And you're gonna want to hear that in the next episode, so stay tuned for that. It's coming out next week. We're gonna be diving into some really good stuff about unlimited self worth. Whoa. This one. When we stumbled upon this, I planned on asking him a bunch of different questions. And then we got into that topic and it was so powerful. We just stayed there for a good chunk of the rest of the interview. So you're not going to want to miss that. Stay tuned for that next week. And before we end today, we got to end with what we always end with, which is your action step.

Time for action.

Your action step today is to find that word for you. You know, how for him, it was enthusiasm, for me, it was bold. What is the word for you that just resonates with you, that you. Oh, yeah, I'd want to be that. I want to feel that. I want to bring more of that into my life. What is it for you? Passion, energy and enthusiasm, Boldness, courage, confidence, strength, power. I mean, these are just a few. It could be anything else. What are the words that really resonate for you? And just pick one and then bring more of that into your life. Choose to show up that way more and more and really realize, really accept the responsibility and the freedom of knowing that you can choose and doing so again and again. And the more you choose that way, the more you reinforce that pattern, the more you can access it, the more quickly it can come out and the more free you ultimately become. So thanks so much for joining me and Jason today, and I look forward to speaking with you in the future until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Talk to you soon.

Thanks for listening to Shrink for the.

Shy guy with Dr. Aziz.

If you know anyone who can benefit.

From what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to shrinkforthshyguy.com for free blogs, ebooks, and training videos related to overcoming shyness and.

Increasing confidence, go to socialconfidencecenter.com.

Do you spend much of your time hesitating, holding back, maybe doubting yourself, not taking action unless you're certain and really feeling limited or stuck in your life? If so, today's episode is going to help you profoundly. We're going to focus on how to unleash your confidence, how to unleash a sense of power, strength, certainty, and drive in you so you can feel confident and go after what you want in life without hesitating with a sense of boldness and courage. Welcome to today's episode of the show. Today we're going to talk about how to unleash your confidence. And if you want to dive into the show and send messages and just follow the whole thing, go to shrinkforthshyguy.com you can also go to facebook.com social confidence. And those are ways to stay in touch with us and stay in touch with me. And I'd love to hear about your successes, your challenges, hear about your journey, because that's absolutely what it is. And today is going to be like rocket fuel for your journey. It's how to unleash your confidence. And many of you know that I have a program called Confidence Unleashed and many of you know, that an entirely new version is just coming out. We're in the launch period for that right now. And it is. I mean, we got incredible feedback on the first version of Confidence Unleashed. And that's cool. And I'm always. I want to have the biggest impact that I can. That's why this show is always getting better. That's why that program, I took all of the feedback I got and saw what was working. And then I took everything that had worked in sessions with people in one on ones in groups. I saw what the most powerful stuff was in weekend intensives, one on one weekends and group weekends. I saw firsthand what was having the biggest impact, making the quickest, most powerful shift. And then I put that all into the new videos, into the new version of Confidence Unleashed. And I'm going to share some of the gems, some of the top best stuff from that program with you today for free, so you can apply it in your life and start unleashing your confidence. And the first thing that we need to do is about unleashing your confidence. Well, first of all, let's do this. In the program, we talk about confidence targets because it's often the case I'll do a maximize your confidence session with someone, or I'll sometimes do these offers to my list where people can do sessions with me and they're excited to talk with me. They're like, oh, I saw you on YouTube. And they're really excited and like, great, let's dive into it. And because people, like, I don't know, for some reason, they know my story, which is why they relate to me. But then on some level, they don't believe my story. They're like, you. I mean, yeah, it's inspiring, but come on, you're not. You weren't really shy. And I was like, dude, I was. And I still deal with this stuff. Right? I mean, I'm just applying what I teach anyway. They're all excited to talk with me. And then we dive in and they're like, okay, here's my 17 problems. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Problems are great. We're gonna get to problems. And we could spend five hours talking about problems and not getting anywhere. Because here, what I'd like you to do right now is take your right hand and put it right in front of your face. Don't touch your face, but put it right in your face. Like maybe about an inch away. Okay, good. Now keep it in front of your face and then turn your head, keeping your hand right in front of you, and then look up, keeping your hand right in front of you, and look down, keeping your hand right in front of you. That's like our problems, they're like smashed right in front of our face, like omelette on our face. And everywhere we look, that's what we're seeing. And then we're trying to chip away at them and make them disappear. And you know what? That's never going to happen because you can't just eliminate all the problems and somehow have confidence. No, you got to be going towards something. And then on the way, you're pushing past or overcoming or letting go of those problems on the way to something else. Does that make sense? That's like the old kind of classic example of someone smoking and they want to stop smoking. They can't just stop smoking. They have to stop smoking and replace it with something else, with a new activity that meets needs, perhaps running, perhaps something else being part of a gym or ideally something physically healthy. But do you get the point here? We can't just focus on the problem. We got to focus on the solution. We got to say, where do I want to get to? And that's what we dive into. Inside of confidence unleashed. It's what is your confidence target? And there's a whole several videos in module one about that. But let's do a mini version of that right now. What is your confidence target? If you had, and this is a question I love to ask people, is if you could wave a realistic magic wand and have all the confidence that you wanted, just abundance of confidence in yourself, what would your life look like? What would you be doing differently? What comes up for you when I ask that question? Now, if doubt comes up, that's not possible. I don't know, how would I even get there? We'll get to that in a minute. See if you can just put that aside and just really imagine, if I really had that confidence, what would it be? What would I do? How would I interact with people? How would you walk into a room? How would you join into groups of people? How would you be at work? Do you do sales? How would you be in sales? Do you speak up in meetings? How would you speak up in meetings? Would you be a leader? Think even bigger, Think even further down the line? Not just this month, but what about five years from now? If you had that confidence every day, what would your relationships look like? Would you walk up to women that you were attracted to and start dating more? Would you have an amazing girlfriend? Would you have a wife? Would you have a family? What are your confidence targets? Because we got to know what we're going for. We got to know what we want. And even if you aren't entirely sure, you're just like, I just want more confidence. Well, usually we want to do something with that confidence. I mean, sure, we want to feel good about ourselves. And maybe that's part of your target is like, well, I wouldn't be doubting myself. I wouldn't be second guessing myself. That's a great target, too. And with that certainty in yourself, what would you be doing in your life? How would you be enjoying your life more? How would you be trusting in yourself more? So what are your confidence targets? Great. And another thing we dive into in the program is aiming higher. Because when I do this with people face to face, they go for maybe 50% of what they really want. Or they're like, yeah, that would be great to be able to talk to women. Sure, that would be awesome. That's not what they really want. But they really want us to be able to walk up to any woman that they're attracted to and start a conversation and have it go, well, and get a number or have it not go the way they want and then walk away and still feel great about themselves. And then they want to be able to date several women and find an awesome one and have her be their girlfriend. And it's an amazing, beautiful woman that's funny and sweet and intelligent that just rocks their world. That's what they want. But they don't tell me that right away. I got to kind of draw it out of them. Now. Why wouldn't we say what we really want right from the beginning? Because it's scary, right? Scary about what am I going to have to do to get it? Oh, my God, I can't do that. We have all this identity crap that comes up. I'm not good enough, not going to work for me. All that stuff gets in the way, right? What is it that you want? Can you make it really clear for yourself? And then what gets in the way? In fact, that's what we're going to do in a minute. We're going to dive into what gets in the way, what stops you from going after. But first we have to have these confidence targets. So we're going to take a quick break right now, and when we get back, we're going to look at the obstacles and how to blast through them. But first things first, I wanted to help you get clear on that target. And during the break, think about It. Keep playing with it in your mind. What is it that I really, really want? If I had the confidence. Stay tuned. We'll be right back, right after this. Welcome back. So did anything shift? Did you come up with anything cool? Maybe you already have. Maybe you already have a great vision for what it is that you want with more confidence. And some people say, well, my goal is to get rid of social anxiety, to not have social anxiety. And that's good. That's a start. But I still don't know what that means. What do you replace it with? What would it look like? You know, what social anxiety looks like, feels like, smells like, tastes like, tastes like pain. Right? But what does confidence feel like, look like? So, and I'm not gonna belabor the point, but that's exactly what we need to do, is we need to focus on where we want to get to, then we gotta look at what gets in the way. And that's what we're gonna do right now. First and foremost, the thing that gets in the way before anything else, before fear, before all that stuff, is we're stuck in the passenger seat in life. I mean, I was for many years. Almost everyone that I work with on some level, is starting out in the passenger seat. Maybe not in all areas of their life, but definitely in this area of social confidence, confidence in themselves, work confidence, dating. Whatever area they're working on with me, usually it turns out they're working on all areas of confidence because they realize soon after talking to me that it's all connected. But it's. How do we get out of the passenger seat and into the driver's seat? And here's what I mean. In the passenger seat, you don't have any control. You're just going wherever the driver wants to go. I mean, maybe you can ask them to take you somewhere or request it or complain about it, but you ultimately don't have any control. The driver is deciding where you go. And I found so many people, and I know I did this for years, approach life in the passenger seat as if there's someone else driving. And that someone else is maybe a rotating character. My boss determines this. My partner, my wife, my husband determines this. My friends determine this. Those strangers determine this. Other people determine how I feel, what I do, what I pursue in my life, how much I enjoy myself. Other people determine everything. And it puts us in this victim stance where we're just the passenger. We're stuck, we're frustrated. I would do that, but I can't because of this, and I can't because of that. Or we're the passenger in our own emotions, or we're the passenger in our own. I would do that, but I can't because I have this, or I'm not good enough or all that stuff, whatever it is, it puts us into the passenger seat. Or we forget that we have control and that we are choosing where to go. You are driving. Well, let's see here. You're always driving. It's the illusion that you're in the passenger seat. You might have let go of the wheel, you might be pretending you're in the passenger seat, but you are driving. Where you are in your life right now is a result of the decisions and the choices that you've made up until this point. And you can choose differently. And I don't necessarily mean choosing what to do. That's one thing. But you can choose what you focus on in a given moment. And then you can also choose the meaning that you give an event. So when you go talk to someone and they don't seem that interested in talking to you, you can focus on them and their experience and maybe their eyebrows going down and then looking like they're judging you. Or you can focus on how you showed up and were just put yourself out there. You can focus on the result that, oh, they didn't like me. Or you can focus on the fact that I took action. And then you can choose to give it meanings, right? You can say, they didn't like me, therefore I suck, therefore I'm a loser. I was too much of this. I wasn't enough of that. I shouldn't have said that. What was wrong with me? I'm an idiot. Or you can choose to make it mean something entirely different. I don't know what's going on with that person. I was warm and friendly. Looks like I pushed one of their buttons. I was talking with someone a little while back, and he said that he asked a barista at a coffee shop. He was talking with her and she said, I'm in college. And he said, what's your major? And she said, oh, I hate that question. And he was telling me, he's like, oh, I shouldn't have asked that. I was like, wait, what? That's a perfectly reasonable question to ask someone. They say they're in college. What are you studying? What's the big deal? Now she's got a button that you pushed. And so you can choose to make it mean, I messed up. I should have known. I should have asked that question. Or you could choose to make it mean, wow, she's sensitive about that. And then you could. When you're bold and you've unleashed your confidence, you can actually push it a little further. Say, whoa, looks like I pushed one of your buttons. Don't ask you about a major interesting. Sounds like it's going real well for you. I might just tease her a little bit. So that's just an example. But when you give it a different meaning, then you can choose to do something different. You can choose to approach someone again, you can choose to make a joke, you can choose to lean in further, you can choose to ask again. You can choose to do all kinds of things, but the key word here is choice. You are in the driver's seat, and if you have any doubt about that, if you're like, nah, it doesn't feel that way. I know, I understand that, and I wish I had more time to get into that now, but there's a bunch of stuff I want to cover. And if you want to go deeper, we'll talk more about it in a little bit. But you got to check out the new version of Confidence Unleashed. It's on an incredible sale right now, during this launch, this opening. So now is the time to jump in on it, and you're gonna learn all of the stuff that I'm. I mean, this is. We have 25 minutes together here today, something like that. I mean, that program is like nine modules, and I don't even know how long it is. Maybe 12 hours of stuff, of really in depth with a workbook and all that stuff. So if you want to go much deeper, check that out. But that's the first thing, is we gotta get in the driver's seat. The second thing is you. Okay, so there's. There's layers, and I've seen this in working with people. There's layers of protection that prevent you from living the life that you want, from having the confidence that you want. And the outermost layer is what I call excuses. And these are all the things that put us in the passenger seat. I would, but. And then we focus on something external, like, there's no attractive women in my town. People over when they get over 30 don't want to make new friends. Everyone at my work is closed off and a jerk. I can't get a better career because I didn't grow up in the right family. I didn't have the right upbringing. I don't have the right connections, you see? So it's like putting stuff on the outside world. That's the layer of Excuses. That's the passenger seat thing. We've been talking about the next layer of protection. So if you bust through the excuses and say, you know what? Fuck that, I'm the driver of my life, if the circumstances aren't working for me, I can decide to respond to them differently and try something different. I'm flexible, I'm fluid. I'm like water. I'm gonna find a way around it. Just say you adopted that. That would be awesome if you did. Now you break through the excuses. You're not there yet. Guess what you bump into then. Ah. What the excuses were protecting you from. So you can think about. Each layer is like protecting from something deeper. So you got the excuses, you break through the excuses, and now you get to a deeper layer. Stories. Stories. Stories are the things that you say about you that stop you, not the outside world. Like, things like, I'm not good enough. I'm not attract. I'm ugly, I'm boring, I'm stupid, I'm clumsy, I'm awkward, I'm not skilled enough. I should be better than I am somehow. And then there's a list. I mean, you could just go on and on. The stories are the negative things you say about yourself, the limiting things. And there's all kinds of stories. There's stories about your identity, like who I am, I'm a shy person. What does someone say? Someone said to me recently, I'm a nervous person. And someone else said, oh, I could go out, but I'm shy. So this is how it's going to go, and this is how I'll be. And I said, are you sure you have to show up that way? And I just kind of paused and it was just introducing the idea of reinventing yourself, of flexibility, of that you're not just one way. And trust me, I've shown up one way in my life, and I've shown up an entirely different way, and I'm still Aziz. So what does that mean? I mean, it means that there's such an incredible flexibility inside of you that you don't have to show up shy. That's just a pattern. That's not who you are. So there's this identity story. There's also stories of ability, like, oh, I'm not capable to do that. I can't do that. I'm not good enough to do that. I would never be able to learn that. And, man, we have some just horrible BS stories of ability that are totally false, that basically are all based upon, I don't want to look bad, I Don't want to fail. They have nothing to do with your ability. I mean, little kids who don't care about failing and looking bad can learn stuff like crazy and incredibly quickly. And we can too, when we throw ourselves into it. But we have all these stories of ability. I'm not good enough. So those are stories. Beneath that is another layer. And we're take a quick break. We're going to dive into what that layer is and then how to blast through all of this stuff. So stay tuned. We'll be right back right after this. Welcome back. So what's underneath? We got excuses. Underneath that, we got stories. What's underneath your story? Let's just say you stop believing I'm not attractive, or those people don't want to talk to me, or this person's going to say no when I ask, you know, have a sales conversation or sales presentation. Let's say you eliminated that story. Then what are you more likely to do? That's right. Go have the sales conversation. Go talk to those people. Go ask that woman out. And then what happens if you imagine doing that right now? Imagine going out and doing that thing that the story was telling you that you couldn't do, that you're not capable of, that you're not good enough, that it's not who you are. Imagine just going and doing it. What happens then? Yeah, now we're getting down into it. Fear. Fear happens. Then that's the layer beneath stories. So excuses are protecting us from stories. Stories are protecting us from fear. And that's really the main thing. And feeling fear is horribly unpleasant. We don't like it, we want to avoid it. We want to avoid situations that create fear. It's a natural human impulse. It's built into our nervous system. So we have to override that, though. Because if you live your life avoiding fear, that's not a life that's surviving. And you're going to be miserable, or maybe not horribly, abjectly miserable, because you can distract yourself enough with TV and hanging out on the weekend with some friends. If you're lucky enough to have that or getting drunk or getting high or whatever, you can block it somehow. You can try to minimize it somehow, but there's gonna be an emptiness inside because you're not living fully. And you know that on some level. And so we have to face our fears. We have to break through our fears. And there are so many ways to do that. In fact, inside of confidence unleashed the new version of the program. There's an entire module, like an entire maybe oh, God. Almost like an hour or more dedicated to how to overcome fear, how to blast through fear. Just dozens of techniques and exercises and activities. By the end of that, you'll be vibrating with power in yourself to blast through. And this program is not a passive learning thing where you just kind of watch it and like, huh, those are some interesting intellectual ideas. No, it is about action, because that is the way through fear. I mean, there's some powerful techniques I'll share with you. How to release fear, how to build up courage and power in the face of fear. And then ultimately, though, the whole program and this whole show and the whole thing I'm trying to do in this world is designed to get you into action because you can break through fear at home and get energized. And really, you really can. You will in the program, like release a fear feel way more powerful than you ever have. But then you got to get out there and you got to do it. You got to go take that action that scares you. I mean, it's the simplest thing and it is the most true thing, and it is the reason that people do not succeed. Now, I was just talking to someone yesterday and they were interested in working with me in a group, and they're really excited about it. And he said, but, you know, I really have a lot of doubts because I've done stuff in the past and it didn't work out and I'm scared about getting my hopes up. I said, great, what have you done? He's like, well, I read this book and I did this and I did therapy and I read this and I was like, great, that sounds like you've done a lot of inside work. How much have you put into action? What action have you taken? And he's like, ah, well, that's where my challenge is. And I said, well, it's no surprise to me that you haven't had the progress that you want, the results that you want, because you can read 5,000 books on this subject, and if you don't put it into action, nothing's going to change. I mean, maybe some insight will help, but, you know, it's just not going to. It's not going to produce a lasting shift in your life. Decisive action is what changes your life. It's what changes you. It's what transforms you. And if you take that decisive action, enough fear just disappears. Fear is obliterated. Now. It doesn't mean that it doesn't come up again when you reach the next level. But the thing that used to scare you no longer scares you or it's there. There's a little bit of fear, a little bit of nervousness, but you just push right past it and it's no big deal. That's how you unleash your confidence, is by taking that radical action in the face of fear. And in order to get, I mean, this show, there's only so much I can do to help you get there. I think working with me is a powerful way to do that if you really want to take that step. But an intermediate step, like a smaller commitment than working with me, because it's a big commitment of time, money, energy, focus. Sometimes people fly out here for weekend intensives if we're doing that. But more sometimes people just do Skype from all over the world. But regardless, there's another way, which is with this program, Confidence unleashed. Let me just talk with you for just a minute about that program because it contains the keys for you to break through to a higher level of confidence than you've ever experienced. And I absolutely guarantee that. I mean, I think this program is rocket fuel. It's ultra powerful. Right now we're doing the launch so you can check it out. You can get it. If you're not totally satisfied, if it doesn't produce amazing results for you, then you can just return it with no questions asked. That's how much I believe in the stuff in this program, because I've seen it work with people face to face. This isn't some theory, this isn't some intellectual idea that I'm testing out. This is stuff that I've done and I've seen it produce powerful results in myself and then in many clients that I've worked with face to face, over the phone, via Skype, in groups, all over the place. So we're going to dive into helping you set really clear confidence targets, aiming higher, removing all the BS that stops you from believing in yourself. To be able to create amazing, exciting goals that juice you because you want to have a compelling future that excites you. That's how you're going to motivate yourself. And there's a whole section on self compassion. You're going to let go of the toxic way of motivating yourself through self criticism. You're going to release that crap and be able to motivate yourself through excitement, through enthusiasm, through inspiration and energy. Then we're going to help you get into the driver's seat of your life so you feel in control, in charge, certain in yourself. You're going to see the needs that are driving you underneath and how to let go of needing to cling to safety. You're gonna learn about your safety. Police. This is the force inside of you that is keeping you small, that is keeping you stuck. Those are all the voices in your head that tell you you can't. That criticize you, that say you're not good enough, that say that people won't like you. You're gonna learn how to blast through all of those. Then we're gonna get into the modules where we eliminate toxic stories and replace them with more empowering stories. What. What would your life be like if instead of when you got to a social situation, whether it was in business, in a meeting, at a party, wherever, on the street, any interaction with people, instead of a sense of they're not going to like me, it's not going to go well, I'm kind of boring, or whatever your old BS stories are. What if you showed up with a story that was like, people love me and everyone likes talking to me. I'm incredibly charming and people love. I'm charismatic. I'm a charismatic leader and people love talking to me. What if not only was that your story, your belief, but that was true for you? Like, you installed it in a way that it felt true for you. That's what we do in the third module of this program, is eliminate all those BS stories. Then, now that we've removed stories, guess what we got to focus on? That's right. Fear. So we're going to help you shred through fear and unleash a courage and a boldness and a power that you may have never felt in your life. I mean, this program is very active. We use your body. We have a workbook. So we help you unlock and unleash all of this stuff. Then we get into the applied sections of the program. So you have all this raw power and all these goals that you have, and you've released the stories, you've overcome fear. You have confidence. Now, how do we apply it in business, in sales conversations, in meetings, in showing up as a leader in your work, in assertiveness. Then we also apply it in dating and relationships. And even if you're already in a relationship, you're already married, there's going to be powerful stuff in there about how to show up with more masculine power in yourself, more confidence in yourself, more certainty, or if you're looking to meet someone, there's great stuff in there as well for that. There's a bunch of applied sections as well. In the second part of the program, and then we look at kind of expanding it through your entire life and how to bring everything full circle. So that's just a. You can tell how excited I am about it, how enthusiastic. To check it out, go to confidenceunleashednow.com that's confidenceunleashednow.com find out more about it. You can get on a waiting list for it. I'm not sure when you're listening to this, too. You might be able to actually get it, too. If it's during the launch dates. If you're listening to this episode way later, then go check it out. The program will still be available during this launch. It's way less of an investment than it will be later. But no matter what the investment is, I mean, this is worth. You know, I had a video editor. Let me share one more last thing about this. I had a video editor who was editing all these videos. He's not working on this stuff. I mean, he doesn't consider himself that shy. He's got a wife. He's, you know, regular guy. And he was working on this program and he came to me and he said, aziza, thank you for letting me edit this. And I was like, you're welcome. Thank you for doing it. And he said, I didn't really consider myself shy or something. And he's like, this tremendously benefited me in my own business, my own relationship. And he said this. He's like, I've done some therapy. He's like, this is better than a year of therapy. And he was really enthusiastic, and I was really appreciative that he got so much out of it. And it was affirming to me. I was like, yes, it works. And I mean, a year of therapy is like, I don't know, like $7,000 maybe, give or take, maybe more. So, I mean, yes, there's. And I honestly, it depends on your therapist, right? Someone might not know all this stuff. So anyway, we're way over time here. Let's end with your. If you want to check out this program, go to confidenceunleashednow.com and let's end with your action step. Your action step for today is to look at what layer is holding you back. Is it excuses? Are you telling yourself stuff about the outside world, how you're not in control, how you're a victim of circumstance? Is it more about you? Is it about stories? I'm not good enough? Identity stories? I can't. That's not who I am. People don't like me. I'm not attractive or stories of ability. I can't. I'm not good enough. I'll fail. Is it stories that's getting in your way? Is it just raw fear like you've seen through the stories? You want to take action and then just fear stops you. And whichever it is, find out where it is and bust through it. Go to the next layer and then take action. Action is the antidote. Action will free you. Action is the way to break through all of this BS and all of this garbage. The more action you take, the more free that you'll become. So thanks for joining me here today. Share what you're learning, what's working for you. Go to facebook.com SocialConfidence you can also go to shrinkforthshyguy.com and if you want to check out the program during the launch here, go to confidenceunleashednow.com I'd love to see you inside of that program. There's all kinds of extra stuff we're going to be doing, including follow up bonus calls for the first people that join. So by all means, go check that out. And I'd love to see you inside of those calls and maybe one day work with you in person. Because the one thing I want you to take away from today and from this show and from any conversations and communications that you and I have is it's absolutely possible, it's absolutely possible to get more confidence in yourself. Don't believe anything in your mind that tells you otherwise. Guess what that is? A story. An identity story. Oh, this is just how I am. Or an ability story. Oh, maybe it's possible for other people, but I can't. So shed that shit. Let it go. And I'd love to help you on that journey and I'd love to just interact with you whether you want to work together or not. You just want to share your story with me. I always love to hear that. So until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.