Dr. Aziz explains two practices for solving personal problems: self-compassion to stop attacking yourself over mistakes, and acceptance to stop resisting what's actually happening. Both soften your emotional reactivity so you can think clearly and find real solutions.
Chapters
Do you want to know how to confidently solve any problem? I know that sounds extreme, but you're going to learn in this video. And you can apply this to anything in your life and solve a problem with confidence. If you're benefiting from these videos, click down below to subscribe. And as always, if you haven't already, go to drazeez.com you can click the link down below and get my free ebook, Five Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence. We're going to learn the exact five steps that I guide clients through to produce radical shifts in their confidence. Now, how to solve any problem. And this could be a problem at work. This could be a problem in your love life. This could be a problem in relationships. This could be a problem with addiction. This could be a problem with overuse of something you want to stop. Anything that you categorize as a problem, this video will help you solve it. It's a big claim, right? But here's how we do it. There's always two primary solutions to solve any problem across any area of life. Now, look, you might have a problem that I don't know the nuts and bolts of. Maybe you got a tax problem. I don't know how to do your taxes. Maybe you got a relationship problem. And it's like, well, so and so he said this to me. And it's like, well, there's a lot of nuance there, right? We got kids and then this and then that. Should we break up or not? It's like the answer is 42. I don't know. But I know these two things are going to help you solve that problem. And if you don't do these two things, your solution's probably going to suck. And it's not going to work. It's not going to have durability. It's going to fall apart and it's going to backfire. But if you do these two things, you're going to be set up to have the optimal solution to any problem. Okay, here we go. Thing number one. Thing one. And thing two. A la Dr. Seuss. Thing number one, to solve. The first thing to do to solve any problem is self compassion. Self compassion. Because the problem with all of our problems is that we're attacking ourselves, blaming ourselves, judging ourselves for having the problem. Oh, why did I mess this up? Oh, I suck. I shouldn't have said that. Oh my gosh, have I done this? I should have done that instead of that. Why did I do this? And that's the state we try to go Solve the problem from. Do you see a problem there? You see a problem with that problem solving strategy. Because when you're attacking yourself and you're saying, I messed up, I should have done this, I shouldn't have done that. Oh, I was so stupid to have not done that. And even if it's not so dramatic, it's kind of a more subtle sort of like contracted like ah, just a little bit of like disgusted or disappointed with ourselves. It might be very subtle. Pay attention, pay attention. Just think about a problem in your life right now. Think about anything to categorize. We all got problems, right? And so just think about one in your life right now. And notice is there that like kind of contracting, imploding, negative critical energy. That is a problem that's going to prevent you from actually solving the problem in a durable way. It won't last. So what we need to do is we need to infuse more compassion into the system. Just giving yourself a break. You don't need to have it all figured out. Mistakes are part of learning. You are here to grow. Whatever has occurred up until this point has been necessary to occur to get you to hear. And it's going to teach you. You're going to learn from it. You're going to be different in the future as a result of it. Absorb the lessons. The lessons don't have to come up here from a rational part. Just know that you get it, you're getting it right now. And if you don't fully got it, you'll repeat the problem until you get it. So that's number one, is infuse self compassion. The other thing that we must do before we can solve the problem is we must let go. We must bring in more acceptance to the situation. Because if we're like, oh, this is terrible, this problem shouldn't be, I got to fix it. We're going to be coming from a place of resistance and usually anxiety or anger or stress or frustration. And what happens is that's us trying to like push our will onto the situation and make it go away. And if there's other people involved who likes it when someone pushes on them and tries to make them go away, who responds well to that? Virtually nobody. Or you know, maybe you come up with a quick fix, right? It's like, oh my gosh, all these people are upset with me. Okay, all right, all right, here's the solution. And is your solution going to make it better, right? I mean have you ever like made like someone's like, hey, can you get this thing to me and you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, no problem. We got it for you. We'll get it to you on Thursday. Totally unrealistic. You're not going to get it to them on Thursday. But you're trying to solve the problem because you're anxious and then they're more upset with you because you failed to deliver on your promises. So we need to let go. We need to bring in more acceptance. Acceptance to like, yes, this problem is here right now. Yes, this is something on my plate to deal with. Yeah. And maybe I brought it about from my actions or maybe someone else did, but if it's on my plate now, it's my problem to solve. You solve my part of it. Yeah, yeah, that's right. And if there's this like emotional, like, no, no, no. Then softening that. Okay, yep. I don't have to love this, but this is how it is. This is how it is. Because anything that we're coming from a different place from to solve, fighting, hating, resisting is not going to last. And we're going to create more of it in the future. So step one, infuse the whole system with self compassion. You, others, other people involved. But they failed. They're such an idiot. Like, okay, more compassion. Compassion doesn't mean you don't come up with a better solution or system in the future to prevent this from happening. But it means it already happened. People are doing the best they can with the resources they have, including myself. Compassion, acceptance, letting go, letting, okay, all right, that's how it is. And letting go of the circuit, the situation. This is how the situation is. Your emotional reactions kind of keep letting those go until you're more like, okay, all right, it's okay. Then address the problem. Then address the problem. And it's, you know, it's a tax problem. You talk to your tax people. If it's a relationship problem, you get input from other people or figure out yourself. In fact, you might find the solution comes to you like that after you've done one and two. And if you need to get input or external advice, you're going to be able to assimilate it and implement it way better when you've done number one, which is self compassion, number two, which is acceptance. Sound good? Okay, let me know how this works. Share the kind of problems you're facing and see how this applies in your life. And again, you want to take this further, go to Cook down below to get the ebook 5 Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence. And in there, step number one secret Step number one is all about that self compassion piece. How to fire your toxic coach and start to train your brain to treat you better. Beautiful. Until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
