A short coaching video by Dr. Aziz urging viewers to deepen connection by practicing direct eye contact. He opens with a family photo anecdote, explains that many people avoid direct contact out of fear or discomfort, and offers a simple exercise—look someone in the eyes for 60–120 seconds (even on Zoom)—as a way to become more seen, known, and connected.
Hey, welcome to your weekly confidence boost. Today I want to talk with you about connection and more specifically about being known and being seen. So I was just recently uploading some photos from my phone to my computer. This one's from earlier in 2020. And that's my younger son, mirror. Here we go. That's my younger son, Arman. That's my son Zaim, older in the background. Arman is 4. And this is just a random moment that Candice caught of me and Armand looking at each other. Just take a moment to actually look at his face. So did you experience that when you were young? Like really looking into a parent's eyes and having them looking back at you, maybe talking, maybe not really being there with you, really being seen, really being known. If you did, you were fortunate. And this is something that I guide people, anyone that I work with through, to be able to develop this capacity. It seems so simple. Like, look at somebody. Come on, Aziz. There's gonna be better confidence techniques than that. But actually that's like the foundation. And the reason it's so important is because many of us are actually uncomfortable with what I would call direct contact. So we're like, oh, I don't, you know, of course I want connection and I want to be seen. I want a relationship, I want love, I want friends, I want all this stuff. And then we' these opportunities to really connect with people and we're scared and we avoid it, and we chit chat and we find ways to keep distance while still being with each other. So what I would encourage you to do this week, very simple but very profound. Can you find an opportunity to just look at people more in the eyes? Now, there's a couple different ways to do this. One is going to be kind of COVID ninja style, right? So whether it's. I mean, right now you might be interacting with people on zoom, on Lava, maybe there's people in your life that you're near. And even when you're on zoom, it's kind of a strange thing, right, where you have to look at the camera instead of the person's eyes. Because you look at their eyes, it looks like you're looking down, blah, blah, blah. But maybe just take a moment to really look at their eyes occasionally, maybe when they're talking and really see them. And anytime you interact with people, maybe you're going to the store, maybe you're interacting with some friends out in the real world, not in the surrogate matrix and the Oasis, and you can actually look at them more in the eyes. It Seems so simple. But just intentionally practice this this week. And if you have someone in your life, a spouse, a partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, a friend, let them know you want to do a little experiment and say, hey, I know this might sound strange, but I want to do a little experiment where we actually just take a moment, take 60 seconds, and we just look at each other in silence. And first of all, notice if you feel resistance to that idea, because isn't that interesting? Some part of you might say, that's so strange. I don't want to do it. That's stupid. Why are you afraid? Why are you afraid? What are you afraid of? Oftentimes we don't know. It's just direct connection. Too much feeling, too much connection, too much vulnerability in being seen and being known. But here's the thing. You. You want an extraordinary relationship. You want deeper friendships. You want to feel more connected and more alive than ever before. It's going to start by stepping over that fear, walking through that fear and saying, I'm willing. I'm willing to connect, and I'm willing to put myself out there, and I'm willing to be deeply seen and known. So find that opportunity and just take a moment, a minute. Set a timer for two minutes if you want. If you're feeling wild and crazy and just look at each other and just see what comes up, just hold it like a meditation. You don't have to have some profound experience. You just notice what arises for you. That's my invitation for you this week, until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Talk to you soon.
