How To Deal With Aging With Complete Self-Confidence!

Do you have anxiety about aging? Does the fact that you're aging or when you notice that you're aging negatively impact your confidence? Or anything about the way your appearance changes over time? Does that negatively impact your confidence? If so, watch this episode because you're going to learn how to free yourself from the fear of aging and how to have your sense of inner self confidence. Be totally independent of all of that stuff. Hey, welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, and this is the show for you if you want to maximize your confidence in every area of life. And one thing that negatively impacts us is aging. And we have this. We talked about cultural programming in the last episode. We have so much cultural programming about age and we don't even know it really. It's just kind of in there. We take it in for media and images and movies and everything, magazines, books, other people, what they say. And we then are in this bind because here is the dominant cultural message of probably the most media machinery of all over the entire world, which is this. Aging is bad, it's wrong, it's gross. You gotta fix that shit. What's wrong with you getting old, old and gross, wrinkly, saggy, just hair falling out all over the place, right? It's this horrible message that we're getting. Whether you know it or not. You know how you've received, even if you don't know where you got it. Exactly. You know how you know you've received it is you look in the mirror and you judge yourself for something about an age related thing, a wrinkle, a sunspot, something. And you're like, ugh, right? Or you judge someone else, like, ugh, you look old, old and gross. And then people fear aging. Oh my God, I'm gonna get old and gross. And this comes up for men and for women. And the cultural conditioning is even stronger for women. I was having a conversation about this with my wife recently. She's in her 40s and there's this sense of like, well, you know, when I was younger, I'm like this bright flower and I get attention and I'm like, worthwhile and worthy. And I get, you know, you are, you're valuable. Because that's what society says. If you're young and your skin is a certain way, you're valuable, you're desirable, you're worthy of love. And then, you know, she's like, now I'm in my 40s, I've had two kids, and, you know, I don't look the Same. And I'm like a wilting flower. And I hear that. I'm like, ah, it hurts. Like, you're so beautiful to me. And it's. There's this disconnect between the cultural message and reality. Because the cultural message is you become less desirable, less worthwhile. But the reality is I love her. And it's 10 years after when we first met. And she does look different. Both of us look older. But I don't love her less. I even love her more after all this life experience and the depth, like the fusing of our lives over the last 10 years. And it's not just like, oh, I love you. I know you're getting old and ugly, but I still love you. It's like, no, you're beautiful to me. And I've heard this experience again and again from couples in relationships that have healthy relationships where they're growing together, right? And so that's the reality of it. Unless someone is like, really indoctrinated in the culture and then they're like, oh my God, I can't age and my partner can't age. And we all should just get plastic surgery. And it's like, just look at the insanity of that. I mean, the stats on this are crazy. How many people get plastic surgery every year? South Korea is the highest of any country, and that's one in five people have had plastic surgery. That's 20% of people. So it's crazy how much we're trying to fight. It's like aging is inevitable, it's going to happen, and then we try to fight it as long as possible. And look, I'm not talking about taking great care of yourself and eating a high nutrient dense diet, which I'm a big fan of, and exercising and being healthy and living strong and healthy as long as you can, as long as possible. What I'm talking about is the negative hit on our confidence we can feel when we get a fucking wrinkle or our hair changes or something. That's like an inevitable out of your control thing of aging. We turn on ourselves. And what people don't realize is the only reason you're turning on yourselves is because you have this ideal, this standard that society has jammed down your throat without you even knowing it. It's like slipped it in, slipped it into your food. You thought you were eating something else. You're eating poisonous, toxic messages. So what we need to do is we need to reject those. And I decided this a while back in my life and it served me. And I'm still You can say, well, you're only 35, so, you know, wait till you get older. But I think it's going to serve me for the rest of my life. But a little while back, I saw this whole thing because I'm committed to a life of unlimited confidence. And anything that I see that is interfering with my confidence, I'm like, what is that? Fix that, you know? So a while back, I noticed my hair was starting to thin. And it's progressed. You can see now thinner, right? And I remember when it first started happening, I was like, I have a whole video about how to go bald with confidence. But I saw it as my personal responsibility to not have my hair falling out, reduce my confidence. Like, what are my choices? Am I just going to, like, hate myself because that's what society tells me to do, or certain messages in society tell me to do? Or am I going to be on my own side and feel confident, feel good about myself when something that's beyond my control is happening? Right. And the same thing with aging. So I made a decision that it is my responsibility to embrace aging, to work through anything that comes up about my aging, about my wife Candice's aging, about my parents aging, any fear that comes up or judgments or whatever, that's my stuff to deal with. And there's nothing wrong with aging. That's like saying there's something wrong with the Earth orbiting the sun. There's something wrong with that moon going around us. What the hell is it doing, right? It's insanity to fight that. And here's the thing. Aging is beautiful. Like, when you step out of the just cultural context of everywhere you see, oh, look at that. Every model you see, everywhere is, you know, especially if they're the female models or, you know, 18, probably even younger, sometimes 15, 16 to 30, right? And for the male models, they might be a little bit older, but they're generally in that range, too, right? You know, 20 to 30, 35. So that's all you see. All you see is sculpted thin, usually unhealthfully, dieting to get to where they are. Models and images and images and images and images everywhere. Every storefront, every shop, every billboard, every truck, every fucking ad, every TV show, everything, every character, every movie actor. That's all you're absorbed in thousands, hundreds of thousands of messages, millions of messages affecting your brain. And if you were to step out of that, I know it's hard to do because that's all we know. But if you step out of that and you look at an actual human and how they age and don't have that same judgment of, like, well, it's not that image, but it's just life. There's an oak tree outside my office, and Candice was looking up some information online about it. It's tall, I think. I can't judge heights that well, but, like 60ft tall and 50ft wide, I don't know. It's big. And I was like, how long does it take to get that big? And she was looking it up. And a great white oak, which is what that is, has a lifespan of a thousand years. A thousand years. And it takes, I don't know how long it takes to get to its full size. Like 100 or 200 years, something like that. And that tree at a thousand years, when you look at it, you'll be like, things old. It looked better when it was 200. It's gross now. Look at all its wilty. It's all wilty and saggy, right? It's absurd. It's beautiful. It's magnificent. And isn't the same thing true for, like, when a human ages? Have you ever seen a black and white photo of, like, a grandfather, hands holding, like, a grandchild's hands? It's very kind of common imagery. Or a black and white photo of, like, of an elderly person's face. You know, oftentimes you'll see that in like, you know, person from different cultures or something like that. You see the wrinkles, you see the texture, you see the life that's lived in them. It truly is beautiful. And that's true for you. And especially as you take care of yourself and you eat well and you. You eat exercise and you stop eating processed foods and things that kind of make you look more dead, but you're, like, alive and vibrant and aging. It's beautiful. So embrace that. Maybe even disconnect a little bit from the cultural programming. Maybe even start to challenge it more and take on that mantle of, it's my responsibility to get okay with this, not to run from it. Not to try to fix it with plastic surgery and other things. Not to try to get Botox in my face so I don't look old for another year. You gotta move into it. You gotta own it. Because, look, those strategies might serve you kind of. Not really, but you might think they're serving you for, like, but for how long? Like, what, five years, 10 years? You're gonna extend it a little bit, but then it's inevitable. It's still gonna keep happening, and they might have consequences that make you feel and look worse later on. You don't need that own aging. Own your life and realize that you're not here to fucking look beautiful by a certain standard. That's not your life purpose. What are you here to do? Who are you here to love? What are you here to give? What are you here to share? What are you here to impact or make a change in? That's what you're here for. Not to look a certain way and get people to have ugly eyes at you. Maybe a little bit of ugly eyes is okay. I know I get a lot of ugly eyes especially when I do that. Awesome. I know this was a long one. Thanks for being with me today. Share your comments below. I think this is a great topic. I find it interesting. That's why I went along today. So share below and until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.