How To Deal With Uncertainty About The Future

Hey, welcome to your weekly confidence boost. Today we're going to talk about everyone's favorite thing. Uncertainty in the future. Hooray. I mean, this is one of the biggest sources of anxiety, whether it's long term, like, what's going to happen down the road, or with my finances or with my work or with my family or with health, like kind of longer term stuff. But we can also feel afraid about a, you know, shorter term thing. Like, how's this project going to work? Is this going to go the way that I want? Am I going to win the case? Am I going to get the sale? Am I going to complete this thing? Is the presentation going to go the way that I want? And then even like moment to moment, like shorter, narrower, in like, if I speak up in this way, how's it gonna go if I say this thing that's more honest and real, are they gonna like it? You know, so we just like, we don't know this next moment, like 10 seconds from now. And we also don't know 10 years from now. And to part of us that freaks us the fuck out because we're like, what can come out of the unknown and uncertainty is pain. And I don't have control over the pain, so I just gotta figure out a way to control it. And the best way to control it is gonna be control everything about my environment around me and clench my bowels. If I clench my stomach and heart and chest tight enough and don't breathe, clench my jaw, clench my neck, I'm gonna be safe. I can hold. It doesn't work. And then we're tense and we're hesitant, we're frustrated and we're afraid. So we can shift this. We can do much better. And part of that is gonna be to step into the uncertainty of the future with more confidence. Well, how do we do that if we don't know how it's gonna go? So a couple of key things. Two specific I want to share. One is developing a deep sense of certainty. Not that you're going to get the outcome that you want in the exact time frame that you want. Not that nothing bad is going to happen. You'll have to feel no pain in your life. How can you have any sense of certainty that that's going to be. In fact, if you look around you, like, pain is coming. I'm sorry, pain is coming. Now, it might not be the pain you're imagining and the catastrophizing voice in your head says, but you know you're gonna get sick at some Point you're gonna have, whether it's a mild thing, like a flu or whatever or a big thing, you need some medical treatment like you're gonna have at some point. It might not be for 20 years. Someone you know is gonna get sick, maybe there's gonna be some hardship, some problem, whether it's a mild nuisance, like you gotta fix something in your house and it costs you more than you thought, or a big thing, you know, financial loss, ruin, whatever, all these things. So pain is there. There's also all this amazing stuff that's going to happen too, right? Love, connection, meaning fulfillment, breakthrough, confidence, success, achievement. Like all these cool things are going to happen and there's going to be pain. So how do we have a sense of certainty to move forward into that knowing that pain awaits? The first thing that you must internalize, you must know without a shadow of a doubt, is, I can handle it. Whatever comes my way, I will handle it. Can you feel that? On a scale of 1 to 10, how true does that feel for you right now? No matter what comes my way, just say that out loud with me. No matter what comes my way. I know. Repeat after the video. No matter what comes my way, I can handle it. Can you feel that? Can you feel the truth of that now? Some part of you is like, no matter what comes my way, I can handle. Feels like not true. Feels like it's a 3 out of 10 for you in terms of certainty. My question for you is, how can you strengthen that sense of certainty that is on you, that is your responsibility if you want to live a life of confidence. I can't do that for you. I can't make you have that sense of certainty. Only you can cultivate that sense of certainty. How do you cultivate that sense of certainty? There's a lot of different ways repetition of it. No matter what comes my way can handle it. Getting your body and your physiology into a more empowered state. Oh, what's gonna happen? Oh, I don't know. No matter what comes my way, I can handle it. No, that's bullshit. I can't, right? You know, versus Yes. I always like to put my arms up and out, like, no matter what comes my way, I can handle it. And just feels true when you say it like that. When you use your body like that, saying out loud, no matter what comes my way, I can handle it. I like to throw in this one. Bring it on. No matter what comes my way, I can handle it. Bring it on. You can also look back at the past, have you handled things before. Have you handled everything that's happened to you so far to get to where you are in this life? What if you can? And you say, but something new will happen? I've never dealt with before. That's right. You're gonna rise to the occasion. You're gonna grow. And that brings us to the second point, which is we get. This is another belief I think can be very empowering for certainty into the unknown, into uncertainty is, I'm gonna get exactly what I need. I'm gonna get exactly what I need. So here's my. I was stepping into a new project in work, and it was something I tried before, and I had some success, but sort of failed in a way. I didn't get the outcomes that I wanted. And so I was like, you know, I'm gonna try this again. And I was like, no. The voice in my head's like, it's not gonna work. It's gonna be so much money and effort, it's not gonna work. You're gonna fail again. And I feel that energy. I'm like, oh, yeah, you're right, it's terrible. I said, okay, I got to step into this. I want to do this. What can I get certainty in? So here's it was three steps. One is, am I heeding the call? The question I asked myself, am I heeding the call? As in, I have a call to do something. Whether you feel like it's from outside or divine call or just an internal, you know, your higher self, or just some gut feeling of, like, this is what I want to do, you know, am I heeding the call? Am I listening to it? Because I spent many years of my life, like, I'm just gonna play video games. It's like, am I heeding the call number? Two, am I taking bold action? If you know me, I'm a big fan of bold action. So am I doing something great now? Now what? Where can I get that certainty? Am I gonna get the exact outcome that I want in the exact timeframe that I want? Fuck if I know. We'll see, right? Especially the bigger things are. The more people are involved, the more things are outside of your control. I don't know. But here's what I do know, that I'm going to get something from my action and I'm going to grow. I know that I'm going to learn something. I'm going to experience something. I'm going to figure something out. I'm going to get new information, new data. I'm going to get exactly what I need. And that's the part sometimes where, like, that's not what I needed. I didn't need a failure. I didn't need someone to say, I didn't need to get broken up with. Aziz. I don't know. Is that what happened? Well, then I would suggest that you need it. In fact, you probably. I don't know if you can read it right here, but that sign over there says, whether or not it's clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding exactly as it should, and so we can be in opposition to it. We could say, no, no, that was wrong. I assert it was wrong. Like, okay, you can hold on to that position. Then what? Well, then life was wrong, and bad things will happen in the future, and I'm anxious. It's like, okay, can we do better than that? How about no matter what happens, I'm gonna figure it out, I'm gonna handle it, and I'm gonna grow, and I'm gonna get exactly what I need? So if it comes smoothly and easily and I get the result, I get the love, I get the response. I get that partner that I'm dating. This comes up a lot in people that are working with dating confidence. Like, I'm connecting with this person, and I hope it goes well. I don't want to open my heart and have it fall apart. Oh, I can't handle that. It's like, you know what? I can handle anything that comes my way. 2. If that happens, that's exactly what I need. Why? Because it's going to teach you something. Maybe there's some growth needed. Maybe there's some learning needed. You don't even need to know why. It's about a deeper faith. There's faith in yourself. I can handle it. And then faith. I get exactly what I need. That's a broader faith. That's spiritual confidence. Right. You know, I like to think that my soul, my spirit is here to experience life. And that doesn't mean my soul is here to experience pleasure. Good things, easy success, all the results that I want. No pain done. I don't think so. I think there's a lot more to this existence than that. I think that's just what we're sold by, marketing. They're only supposed to feel pleasure and no pain. Like, what am I here to experience? What are you here to experience? Well, if you're heeding the call, that means you're listening and you're taking action, then you're doing it. You're doing what you're here to experience now, what comes your way back? Well, that's the experience. That's what you're here for. So can we soften to it? Can we allow it? Can we open to it? Can we be grateful for it? Thank you for that experience. Thank you for that learning and see where it takes you. So I hope that gives you something to hold onto, some confidence to step into uncertainty, to step into the unknown, to take new actions, to take risks, and to live your life fully until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. We'll talk to you soon.