How To Do The Impossible

Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy. This is the show for you. If you are sick and tired of being held back by fear, self doubt, social anxiety, shyness, anything that's stopping you from you being you. I'm going to share the most powerful tools and resources that I've been discovering over the last 15 years on my journey to eradicate social anxiety and instill confidence first in myself second, and then in every single person that I meet on my journey. You're going to learn these tools and how to apply them in your life now so that you can become the most free, powerful, bold, authentic version of you. Hey, welcome to another episode of the show. Today we're going to be talking about doing the impossible. Something that I'm finding fascinating and interesting and exciting right now in my life and something that I think is really going to help you break through to a new level in some area of your life. Something big is awaiting you. And the shift occurs when we start to probe into this idea of possible versus impossible. And you'll be amazed as you listen to this episode how much we relegate to the domain of impossible without even really questioning it, without even really looking at what's actually true for me right now in my life. Because the stuff that we want to create, the experiences, the goals, the dreams, the relationships, the power, the freedom, all the things that you want to create in your life that you're going to, you know, you're listening to this show, you want to have more confidence, more freedom, more freedom from social anxiety and shyness and self doubt. What that's going to allow you to do in your life is to do the impossible. And I don't know what the impossible is for you, but you do. And I'm very excited to share this with you. And in fact, I was going to record an episode all about it. And then just the other day I had a meeting with. I run several levels in a mastermind group that I run and in the higher level, the mastery level, these are people that have really been studying confidence for more than a year and are very dedicated to it. Very extraordinary in the level of motivation they have and then the results they get in their life. And so I was sharing this with them and it was fresh and current and it was just the other day and I was like, well, why don't I just take that and share it with you right now? So this is like a direct audio cut from a recording of a call. It's the audio version of it of working with a high level mastermind. Where I'm teaching them these exact steps. I'm calling it the four steps to how to do the impossible in four steps is what this is all about. If you really like this. I'm actually having a YouTube series for my show. If you don't know about my YouTube channel, you should definitely be checking it out. All kinds of good stuff comes out there at least weekly, sometimes more often. And I have a show on there called the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. And I break it down on how to do the impossible in four steps. And I have each episode over four weeks is a step, so I go even more in depth. But this is a top level view. And then if you want to go further, check out the episodes that have either just come out or will be coming out soon. So keep your eye on that show. If you want to go find my YouTube channel, if you're not familiar with it, go to get more confidence. So just go to YouTube and type in get. Get more confidence and it should show up. That's the name of the channel. Or Dr. Aziz or whatever. Dr. Aziz Confidence usually will do it. And there you go. So check that out if you want it more in depth. But for now, this is gonna be really good. So in just a minute here, I'm gonna cut away and we're gonna play the audio of this episode and I'll come back for the action step at the end. The recording is from just my computer where I'm doing the call. It's not as high quality as this fine recording right here, but it's plenty good for you to hear everything you need. And I really want you to think about. And I'll share this in the. You'll hear it in the recording as I work with the people in the group as well, what is impossible for you? And maybe I'll even have you think about it even before you start listening. Because the more you can be really engaged in this, the more you're going to get out of it. So you're not just listening to it as passive entertainment as, oh, this is neat, I'm musing on this. But no, like really thinking right now, what is impossible? I could never do that. That would never happen for me. There's no way. Sure, maybe for other people, but not for me. And you know, the impossible is not necessarily something crazy like the far reaches of human potential or something. Maybe the impossible is just having an amazing relationship. Maybe the impossible is to just feel comfortable and strong and confident speaking with a group of people so we don't have to Go crazy here. We just want to look at what would be amazing for me to experience in my life that I currently tell myself is impossible. That's what we want to be focusing on. That's what we want to be thinking about. So keep that in mind. And without further ado, let me share this segment from Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind Call, where we talk about how to do the impossible in four steps. Enjoy.

All right, guys, I'm excited to be with you. I want to do a check in here where you're at, but I wanted to just share this because it's top of mind. The idea just came to me earlier today and it's a series of four YouTube videos I'm going to shoot tomorrow. And it's four steps to how to do the impossible. And I wanted to share it, to just flesh it out. So as I'm sharing this, I want you to think about what is the impossible for you right now in your life? What's the one thing that would be like, whoa, that I don't know. And it might be a hard, impossible, like no way, no way. But it also might be like, oh man, I would sure love to be able to do that. I don't know if I can. And maybe that's creating an extraordinary relationship. Maybe that's feeling really free and open in your dating life. Maybe that is doing something in your business or your career. Maybe that's doing something in your health or another area of your life, your social confidence, whatever it is, but like maybe changing, like a big, what feels like a big thing, you know, like an identity or a pattern. This is how I show up in the world. So whatever the impossible is or the improbable is for you, think on that as you hear these four steps to do the impossible. So step number one is to question your stories. Question. Notice what you tell yourself about that thing. And invariably there's going to be a story or a set of stories that's just telling you you can't do it. It's telling you that it's not possible. And then it's going to have a host of reasons and past references from your life. Oh, you're not going to be able to have that relationship because remember how anxious and weird you got in the last one? Yeah, that's not going to happen. Or oh, you can't, you know, really be thriving in a long term relationship or marriage because remember the last one? Oh, yeah, you know, and it's going to tell you why it's not possible. And for Me, the kind of the recent reference point of doing the impossible was I want to be a free to run as far and as long as I want. What can I do? And the stories, of course you guys know, for many years were like, if I run, I'm gonna get injured, my body's broken, I can't do that. I have an autoimmune condition. And those stories seem like a brick, like a brick wall, but they're like, they're just like a sheet of paper, you can just pierce right through them. So the first step to doing the impossible is to find out what the stories are and start to question them. Because we can, we can just sort of unknowingly, without just kind of unconsciously have the story go through and be like, yes, alright, fine. And then feel hopeless or discouraged or frustrated without saying, well, hold on, hold on a second. What am I telling myself right now? And the key, the thing that we want to really question though is like our certainty around that, the references we have around that. So that's the first step, second step to doing the impossible is surrounding yourself with the right people. Because without them it's very hard, very unlikely that we're going to get a new set of stories, a new model of reality, of what's possible. And a perfect example of this from most recently other than what happens every week here. But Dave, you were hanging out with two successful kick ass business owners at the last live event and having dinner with them and, and all of a sudden boom. Like, and was it one magic thing that they said? Like Jeff said, I think that's a story you tell yourself about being, you know, lazy or not productive or whatever. Maybe that was the one thing he said, but it's probably more just who Jeff is and who Russ is and how they talk and how they think and how they move and their model of the world that's communicated in a million ways that you can only get when you're around those people. Now this step used to be. Well, so first of all, that's why this group is awesome. Because you're surrounding yourself with people that are playing at a high level and growing rapidly. But even outside of this, what is fucking amazing about this year, and this era, this decade especially, is you have unprecedented access to deeply hang out with the most successful people in the area that you want to do the impossible.

In.

In the form of books and audiobooks and YouTube and podcasts. And it's just like you, you can immerse yourself. And so in doing the impossible, what I want What I did and I did this, I think unconsciously. I wasn't saying I'm going to follow this step process, but I was just inspired. And so I started listening to books. We talked about Rich Roll. In the last week, I started listening to multiple books by authors of people, by people who just were elite runner ultra marathon athletes. So Born to Run is a phenomenal one. Finding Ultra by Rich Roll. And then Scott Jurek, who's an awesome guy, he wrote a book called Eat and Run and a book called North. And then I listen to this guy named Dean Carnassis got a book called Ultra Marathon Man, Confessions of an All Night Runner. And so I am like. And before that, when I was not even envisioning what can I do in my body when I was like, I'm broken. It was John Sarno and what's the doctor's name? Dr. Brady and man, this woman who wrote Release a Rankin, Mind Over Medicine. I'm hanging out with those people all the time and then all of a sudden I'm like, oh, there's nothing wrong with my body. Click. Then I'm hanging out. Hanging out, use that term loosely with all these ultra runners. And you know what's crazy? The longest I'd ever run in my life was probably a 10k. Maybe I don't run longer than that. Maybe like an 8 mile run, maybe a 10 mile run once or twice ever. And then I started thinking about like, wow, I want to run a Marathon. It's 26 miles. And then I do run one day and it's 15 miles. Furthest I've ever been. Then I start listening to all these books and these guys are running like a hundred miles or 135 miles or some crazy fuckers running 300 miles straight. And you're just like. All of a sudden I'm like 26. That's nothing. And I haven't done that yet though, right? So but that's the power of hanging out. And I'm sure you guys have seen this.

Did I have the same experience? I read after our conversation last week, I read Flat Finding Ultra because I'd really before only listened to his podcast.

End of the book.

Like every time he said like ran a marathon, I'm like, oh, just a marathon. After he ran like five double marathons five days in a row or something like that. One little 26 mile run is nothing.

And of course we're like, we're like sitting on the couch eating as we listen to the book. I could probably do that. But yeah, and it's the power and same thing. I'm sure you guys have seen this. Maybe if you've had any opportunity where I'm, you know, leaders in business or something, if you've been in a networking or conference or something, all of a sudden, you know, people start talking differently about numbers that are like, what you did, what you know, and it opens it up. So hang out with them, listen to them a lot. And books are my favorite for that. But podcasts, if that's your thing, are good too. I like books and YouTube most anyway. Step three of doing the impossible, the dramatic attempt. This is step three. This is the dramatic attempt. This is when you attempt to do something that is in the realm of impossible for you. And so for me it started. I was walking to work one day or no, to the gym one day. And my walk to work is like a six second commute. That wouldn't really count. I was walking to the gym and I had the thought, I wonder how far I could walk in a day. I just walked the whole day. Wouldn't that be interesting? So I just started to think about why. Who the fuck thinks about that? Well, I'm listening to this guy, Dean Carnassus, who runs all night. That sounded pretty fascinating. I'm listening to Scott Jurek do this crazy trail. So all of a sudden it becomes somewhat normal to wonder how far can I go in a day? And then I start to plan it out and I'm like, well, what if I ran in the morning and then walked? Well, I could go even further. So I set it up and this is the dramatic attempt. I go run in the morning. I run about 12 and a half miles. Candace happens to get some time with a babysitter. An opportunistic thing that happens. And then so I come back home, eat some breakfast, hang out with the boys for a couple hours, and instead of going to work on a Friday, it's 8:30am Candace and I set out and go for a walk. And we walk from our house all the way to Forest park, through the park, different places, stop and get some food. I'm not doing like a death march here. I'm like, just. But we are pretty much not stopping if we're other than the food. And we ended up walking 17 and a half miles. So it was 30 miles. And I was like, that's fucking incredible. I've never done anything like that before. Again, shattering what is possible? Because the most powerful thing about that was not the number doing the miles, it was that the night before I Was like, oh, my ankle hurts. Oh, my body hurts. Oh, I can't do it. Oh, I'm gonna get injured. Oh, all those old stories. Step one, right? Question your stories. And then I just start doing it. And sure enough, about five miles into the walking portion of it, like, my ankle's hurting. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to damage myself. And then I just keep working with it and everything's fine, my body's fine. I start relating to pain differently. It's like, pain doesn't mean I'm breaking, it just means that muscle is tired or weak. So finish the day. We get home, have dinner, put the boys to bed. I'm laying in bed. It's about almost 8 o', clock, and I'm having a hard time sleeping. I am wide awake. I'm like, that was fucking amazing. When can I do that again? I'm so excited and I'm having a hard time. But I was like, I need to get to sleep. I need to get to sleep. And then I start talking with Candace and she says, well, maybe one day you'll just walk all day and walk all night. And I kind of smiled like, yeah. She's like, or maybe you'll just sleep a few hours and get up and walk some more. And I was like, yeah, that's crazy. And sure enough, three hours later, 11:30, I wake up and I'm, like, kind of tired, but I'm like, I must walk more. How far can I go in 24 hours? I still have. I started my run at 4. 4:30 or 4:00am the day before.

How far?

I got five and a half hours. So I get up, get ready, and just trek out and walk all night. And that was definitely more uncomfortable and harder, less fun than the date with my sweetie, but fucking important and worth it. And the dramatic attempt needed to be that. I don't know why. It was just me listening to something inside of myself. So I did it. And the grand total was 44 miles in 24 hours. Ended up going longer than that, but the cutoff, 24 hours for fun, for me. And so that's the dramatic attempt. And a crazy thing is, like, my ankles were both really sore the next day, and then a little bit the day after that, and then totally fine. Like, no, nothing, no soreness, nothing. I was like, whoa. Because in my mind, that would break me in the past, and even now, the idea was, okay, it's not gonna break me because I don't have an autoimmune condition, but it's like gonna kind of like overuse injury me and waylay me for weeks or months was another story. So that is the dramatic attempt. And it's important that when we do it, we have to. I think a key element was like tuning in to like, what am I called to do? Even if it's crazy, Even if other people would be like, what? You know, And I think of you, Mike, being like, I want to meet a woman in Brazil, I want to do this thing. And other people might be like, that's crazy. You're weird, you're obsessed. And it's like, oh, whatever. That's what people would say to Scott Jurek about wanting to go some do some crazy 300 mile run. That's what people might say to me. But like, fuck it, there's an energy there. So the dramatic attempt. So now you've done the impossible. But here's the craziest thing which I'm discovering and I'm just discovering this like today. So that's why I wanted to share this. Do the impossible. Step four. Impossible becomes ordinary. So all of a sudden now like this the last couple days, like, oh, I'm going to run to the gym. Oh, hey, why don't I run home part of the way? Oh, hey, I got a half hour here before my next meeting. Why don't I just go for another run? Oh, hey, why don't I walk during my three calls today and accumulate 10 miles of walking in addition to the running? It just becomes no thing anymore. And I'm not doing 44 miles a day. But all of a sudden, boom. What might have seemed extreme is now kind of ordinary. And all of a sudden I'm like, hey, I'm going to do a long run this Friday. I got some phone calls Friday afternoon. Maybe I can get 30 miles in that day. What would that be like? Or 25, I don't know. And so you just start it all of a sudden becomes ordinary or within the realm of possible, within the realm of what you can do. And then you're in a different place, you're a different person and your reality is different. So those are the four steps of doing the impossible. What are you reflecting on in your own life as you hear this story? What is the impossible for you? What is it inspiring in you? What buttons is it pushing in you? What's happening? I'm curious about what is activating in you guys? What was the fourth step once you've done the dramatic attempt? Step three is do the dramatic thing. Yeah. And then step four is the impossible becomes ordinary. What was once impossible now just becomes something you do. Like maybe it would be impossible for you to like, start your own business or something, quote unquote impossible. And then the dramatic attempt is doing something like that. And then all of a sudden you'll flash forward a year later or whatever and you're like, yeah, going to work and it's your own business and it's just kind of ordinary.

So there you have it. That was me going over the four steps to doing the impossible. And that brings us to your action step. Time for action, action, action. So your action step is to reflect on what is the impossible for you and then what step are you at in the process? That's what we spent the whole a good chunk, maybe another half of the mastermind call after that. Where I shared those is looking at what were each person's, what was their impossible and where were they. And some people honestly were in step, you know, even before step one, they were like in step zero where they were just totally trapped in the stories and they weren't even really able to question them. So I was helping them get to step one, where you really start to doubt or question those stories that have been keeping you stuck. Some people, they'd been questioning the stories for a while, but they needed to immerse themselves. They needed to surround themselves with those people that we're going to show them and really help them see a different model of the world where these things are possible. And some other people in the group needed to do a dramatic attempt. So what is it for you? What step is the next step for you that you need to take now to do the impossible? And then obviously your action step is to do that, is to do more of that. Do more of that step. Bring that into your life now. So awesome. Thank you so much for being with me today. I look forward to seeing you and speaking with you in future episodes of the show. Until then, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Talk to you soon.

Thanks for listening to Shrink for the shy guy with Dr. Aziz. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to to shrinkfortheshyguy.com for free blogs, ebooks and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, go to socialconfidencecenter.com.