How To Eliminate This Confidence Destroying Lie

There is one thing that you might be doing right now which is killing your confidence. It's like smashing it. Like a piggy bank being smashed with a hammer just shatters it. And you got to figure out what this thing is, and you got to correct it, because otherwise you're gonna be stuck and not having the confidence that you want. So join me in today's episode of the show. You're gonna learn exactly what that is and how to solidify it so you can move forward much faster in building the confidence you want and need in your life. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, and this is the show for you if you want to 10x your confidence in every area of life that matters to you. Business, sales, conversation, social skills, public speaking, your finances, your dating, your relationships, every area of life. You can maximize your confidence by watching the show and applying what you learn. And I want to share with you. So part of building confidence is doing the things to build confidence, but also part of building confidence is taking away the things that destroy our confidence. I mean, it's equally important, right? So if something is. If you can think about it like a cup, and if there's certain activities you can do that fill your confidence cup, and there's certain things that you can do that like shoot holes. Your confidence cup. So to build, you know, to 10x your confidence, to really massively increase it in your life, you got to be pouring stuff in, and you got to stop shooting those holes. So this is one of those holes. It's called this confidence smasher number 42, let's say. And here's what it is. I'll share it to you through this story. I was talking with a potential client on the phone, and we ended up not working together. And he was sharing about a situation, and. And it was some problem he was having at work, and he was trying to deal with these people in another department, and they were kind of like alpha male guys and sort of like, pushing, and he was kind of getting pushed around a little bit. And so he needed confidence in himself. He needed to step up and draw a line in the stand and say, here's what I'm going to do. Here's what I'm not going to do. And basically, they talked to him in a way that was not appropriate to be able to address that, to really maximize. Shed the nice guy thing and maximize his assertiveness. And I could see this all. I was like, oh, I know exactly what we could do to help Him. And so we're talking about it and he was asking some suggestions, like, what might you do? So we're talking about a very specific situation. And I was like, well, what would you think about having this kind of conversation with this person and saying this, this and this? And it was sort of putting forth the idea of being more assertive and really taking care of himself, speaking up for himself. And I shared the thing and he said it was kind of silent on the phone. He's like, oh, well, I mean, it seems like a good idea, but I just gotta tell you, I just, I just don't feel comfortable doing that. And then I was silent because I was waiting for the next part and it was just total silence. And I was like, okay. Oh, that's it. Oh, okay. I thought there was gonna be a reason why you wouldn't do it. It's discomfort. Okay. Oh, great. This is what we need to talk about. And this. Have you ever done that? This is what so many people do is I can't because that would make me uncomfortable. And to them it's like case closed, period. And to me, like my brain didn't even register it. It's like, okay, when are we going to get to why he can't do that? Because to me, because I'm uncomfortable does not in any way mean I can't do something. And you've got to break. This is so unconscious and ingrained. And it's like we have this collective agreement. It's like, can you do this? I don't feel comfortable doing that. Oh, okay, that's fine, that's fine. We'll find someone else to do it. You don't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable now, right? That's how we approach life. And the crazy thing is I don't know when this shift happens, but it doesn't. Kids don't have this. Just. This was a little while back, I was with some family and they had this little cousin. Well, it's a cousin's kid, so I don't know what that would make him. Second cousin, nephew, whatever. Anyway, this kid's like six and we're at this place pool with his high dive and he gets to the edge of the high dive and he jumps in and it's high, it's like 20ft. And he's like a six year old. I'm like, wow, that's kind of hardcore. I don't know if I would have done that at six. And he does it a few times and. And he comes and he's hanging out. He's got the towel. And I'm like, wow. So the high dive, you know? And he's like, yeah. And I was like, I don't think I could have done that when I was your age. Were you scared? And guess what he said. This big smile on his face, the hair was dripping, and he was like, yeah, right. And that was his answer. So, like, were you scared? Yeah. And he's doing it. There's no. Like, I don't feel comfortable, so I can't. And that's the biggest confidence Smasher is. It's not. I'm uncomfortable, so I'm gonna choose not to. To avoid the discomfort and stay in my comfort zone. That's not what we say. Although that's true. We say I'm uncomfortable, so I can't. And we believe it. We sweet this shit up. And it's total bs. It is a lie. I can't. No, no, no, no, no. Whether you're comfortable or not comfortable has nothing to do whether you can or can't do something. You gotta separate those two things. And in fact, to grow the confidence, you want for this guy to really excel in his business and not be all stressed out about it all the time and taking it home and having it disturb his family life and to step up and be noticed by the leadership team and be promoted to have the things that he wants. Peace of mind, more money, more satisfaction at work, have that confidence to create all that stuff. He's got to be uncomfortable. He's got to do a lot of things that are outside his comfort zone. He's got to have conversations that make him uncomfortable. He's got to have maybe conflict that makes him uncomfortable. He's got to speak in ways that he's not comfortable yet, and he didn't want to do that. So we're not working together, but you want to do that. Hopefully, if you really want to get that confidence, you got to do that. You got to be willing to. To do that. So the next time you notice you're uncomfortable about something, say, great, that's a sign that I need to do it. In fact, that's how I oriented myself for the last 13 years of my life. Now 12 or 13 years of my life, if there's something that I'm uncomfortable with, then I probably need to do it. Now I don't. It's not knee jerk reaction or I always have to. I might analyze it a little bit, like, what would be outcome? What would be the. What would be the end result of doing this and if it's something that seems valuable to me in my life, more confidence, more freedom, more money, more time with my family, more dating and relationship time, better relationship, whatever, something that's valuable to me, then I'll be yeah, of course I'm going to do it. So what? Great. The more uncomfortable the better. Bring it on. And if you can have that shift, man, you're going to have rock solid. Never ending increases in your confidence and that's really true. Never ending. My confidence is consist increased over the last 12 years and I don't think it's stopping and I'm only doing more and more and more. And you can do the exact same thing when you apply this in your life. So share your comments below. I'd love to hear how what you see, what you're able to do, what would make you uncomfortable and ask your questions. Just share in the community below. It's great to hear all those things and stay connected with each other and also check out other episodes of the show. It's going to help you grow and learn faster and get this stuff at a deeper level. And until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know that you're awesome.