How To Find Your Purpose

Do you feel a powerful sense of purpose in your life? A sense of passion and inspiration and energy that excites you, that drives you, that moves you forward in a way that is mysterious, that you can't even quite explain why, but you know it's right and it makes you feel more alive. If you have that, then you're lucky you're one of the few. If you don't, that's okay. Watch this video. We're going to align you. We're going to help you get a sense of purpose. How to do that in this episode. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz. And in today's episode. Oh, by the way, this is the show for you if you want to maximize your confidence in every area of life. And in today's episode, we're going to take a huge concept, a huge life transforming idea thing you can do and distill it down just to, I don't know, seven minutes, how fast can I do this? And that is your sense of purpose. How to have a sense of purpose in life. This is something that's huge. This is something that a lot of people struggle with. They don't feel it. They feel like they're just kind of going through life and I don't know. And not quite there. Maybe it's something different. Maybe I. Maybe I need a new cologne or something. And let's talk about how to activate this. And this is coming because I just had a super, super powerful mastermind call last night. I run a group called the Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind and we do these regular calls and they're super powerful life chance for me. I love them. And one of the guys in the group is really struggling with this. He doesn't have a sense of purpose. He doesn't feel inspired, not really digging his job and feels stuck in his life and isn't doing what he wants and he's frustrated, frustrated. Confidence and purpose, man, those are. When we're living our purpose, we are a thousand times more confident. And when we're not, we lose confidence, we lose energy, we feel a little more down or depressed. So let's talk about how to get your sense of purpose. And here are some. You know, I'm not going to tell you what your purpose is in this video. How would I know that? Even if we spoke for hours, even if you were a one on one client, I would not be so presumptuous as to tell you what your purpose is. But what I would do is I would point out what I was seeing. I would question, I would ask you questions. I would call things out. I would highlight the things that you are not owning. I'm going to do that today in this video with you. I'm going to ask you some questions, get you to think. I'm also going to share some of the essential things you must do to forge your sense of purpose. So even if I don't tell you what it is, I can tell you how to forge it for yourself. And you'll find it because it's in you. First of all, everyone has a sense of purpose. There's an acorn. The acorn grows into a massive, powerful white oak or other kind of oak tree. We have white oaks here in Oregon. But seed becomes a powerful tree. Inside of that seed, the making of everything. That massive trunk, thousands of leaves, all the branches, the roots that go deep into the earth. Everything is contained in that acorn. And the same is true for you. And just like a tree doesn't have one branch, it's got many branches. Your purpose expresses itself in many areas of your life and in many ways. For a lot of people, it's their vocation, their career, what they do every day, five days a week or whatever. It also can involve your personal life, your dating, your relationships. It can also involve the work, the impact, the contribution that you make in the world through your religion, through your community, through your whatever form you connect with people and pray. I mean, there's a million ways that we can feel a sense of purpose and how it expresses itself. Here are some guidelines. Here are some ways to find that for yourself and forge it and make it happen. First, it doesn't come to you in a crystal clear lightning bolt flash from on high. Doesn't it kind of bubbles out of you in like this sort of, oh, maybe that kind of way. Right? So here's the thing. A lot of people are like, I don't have a sense of purpose. So they sit down, they think like, what is it? What is it? And they're super mental. What? What is it? And you know what? You're not going to find your purpose up here. It's not in your frontal cortex. It doesn't exist there. It's in your heart. That's where it is. And so we're like trying to figure it out and get like, what exactly is it? Should I work here or work there? What is it? What is it? And it's like this kind of. We're searching for certainty and there's no certainty. Up here for your purpose. You know what it is? It's a. It's a breath in. It's energy, it's something bubbling. It's that exciting thing that you feel more alive. It's the thing that you feel more alive when you're doing it, when you imagine doing it. And it might not even be something that you know how to turn in. If you're looking for your job purpose or a vocational purpose, you might not even know how to turn into money. And yet it's part of your purpose because you feel alive as you do it. When I went to college, I started out studying computer science. And I did that because I like computers. I thought I wanted to maybe make computer video games. I really was interested in art for computer video games and art in general, particularly drawing and creating 3D images too. But I told myself that I wasn't good enough to do that. So I was like, well, I'm technically smart, I'm good at math, so good computer science. I also did it because my dad was an engineer. And now he didn't say, like, you will be a computer scientist, but you know, hey, pick a major that is, you know, it's a good job. Originally from Pakistan, so people from India and Pakistan, you know, be an engineer, be a doctor. Now. He didn't say any of that stuff. He's really supportive and an amazing, loving man, really encouraging me to be who I am. But you know, we do stuff to please our parents too, so that's what I was doing. And I pursued that and I was doing it and I was pretty good at it. And time went by, you know, and I was like, this is not quite what I want to do. I don't know. And then the second year started in my college. I was like, I just don't know. But I'm already into this and I'm pretty good at it. And then I kept going, kept going. And by the end of the second year I was kind of like, I don't know, man, but what else am I going to do? I don't know. What is my purpose? I don't know. I don't know what my. I don't know. I don't know. I was trying to figure out up here. So that's what we do. We try to figure it out. We stress ourselves out for a weekend and then we're like, ah, fuck it. Just go back to what I'm doing. It's good enough. So I started my third year in college and then I remember I was sitting, we Would do these programming projects up late at night. And I was sitting there with Phil, who's my programming buddy. I was better at it than he was. I'm sorry, Phil. But whatever. We were awesome. He would probably can. We had a little challenge going, but we were both supporting each other. I loved working with him. And I remember I was sitting there working with him. It was like two in the morning. We were working on some project. We were doing something. I was like this. Even if I'm involved in video games, I'm just gonna be like, coding some fucking physics engine in the background. That's not exciting. I'm gonna be working in a cubicle. I'm working long hours. I don't care if I make money at this. Like, I can't do this. And I decided in that moment, I can't do this. I'm not gonna do this. I decided. I said, I'm not gonna do this. I'm gonna pursue something that makes me feel more alive. And we're telling Phil, I'm not gonna do this. And Phil and Mo, who is another one of our programming buddies, he was like. Phil was like, what? What are you gonna do? And then Mo said, dude, you're already two and a half years in or two years and a quarter in. Like, what are you going to do? Come on, you're already there. And maybe in your life, in your career and your things that you've focused energy and time on, you're like, well, I'm already. I'm already X years in. But sometimes we have to pursue what makes us feel more alive and look to what our future is rather than what we've done and what's been safe and secure. And you can pivot, too. It doesn't have to be like, you know Cal Newport, who wrote so Good They Can't Ignore youe, which is a phenomenal book. Go read it. Go listen to it. So good they can't ignore you. He talks about career capital and how you can pivot instead of, you know. So if you've been working in advertising, but you don't love it, you can shift. You can use the skills that you've built up. Sales, marketing skills, maybe start your own firm. A good friend of mine is an attorney and my brother is too. And both of them are not super satisfied in the positions that they're in. They can pivot. They can do a different kind of law that makes them feel more satisfied. They can start their own practice or whatever. So you can pivot. It doesn't have to Be a complete about face. But whatever it is you got to pursue, it makes you feel more alive. And that's what I did. And guess how it feels when you do it? It's a fucking free fall. Because we don't. There's certainty in what we're doing. And then we're going to move to what makes us four feel more alive, which is unformed. It's coming from our hearts, not from our heads. And we don't know what it is yet. I didn't know what it is yet. I was like, I'm just going to take some classes. I don't know. People are like, what are you doing? I don't know. But Dad's like, what are you going to study? I don't know. And then I took a bunch of things and I failed. I thought, maybe this is it. No, that's not it. I was wrong. And when we try things, we'll try it out and it's not right. And here's another super powerful secret of finding and forging your purpose. And I say forge because it's not something that just happens to you. It's something you build, you find, you quest for. And when we forge it, we do that by trying things. You can't just sit back and be like, maybe it's this, but I don't know. I don't have certainty, so probably not. Maybe it's that. I don't know, though. You take your thing, your next best guess, and you just fucking do it and see, do I feel more alive doing this? And here's the thing. Sometimes when you first start something, it's hard, right? So, yes, you feel more alive doing it. You feel more alive imagining the result of it, that's a sign that you're on the right track. And if the first day, the first week, the first month, you're not that great at it. Don't quit. So many people like, so maybe you're like, oh. For me, it was like, oh, man. I remember. I was, I'm jumping ahead of myself. I'm just going to jump ahead. Sorry, chronologically, this doesn't make sense. Flash forward. Now I am studying clinical psychology and I've been doing that for two years. These things happen at two years. So I found psychology, I found I'm going to go all the way. I want to help people. Getting more and more refined in my purpose. Two years in, I'm in classes in this graduate program, one of the best institutions in the world, Stanford University. And I am like, this is fucking terrible. We're looking at slides telling us why we should only use empirically supported treatment and why this methodology of helping people is all hogwash because it hasn't been proven in a lab. And I'm like, that's fucking bullshit. I know that works because I've used it in my life and I've seen it work with other people. So why. You know, I can go on a jag here. And then we're focused on hours and hours of diagnosing people, and I'm just like, this is not for me. But I'm two years in, and then I go to a Tony Robbins seminar. I'm at a music festival, and I see a guy dancing, like, incredibly. He's, like, magnetic. I'm like, look, he's so free. I want to be that free. So I went up to him, I said, hey, man, you seem so free when you dance. That's awesome. And he's like, yeah, I just finished a Tony Robbins seminar. And I was like, tony Robbins, you say? Anthony Bobbins, you say, Right? So I went. I didn't even know who he was. I looked him up, and then I went to it, signed up for it. You follow that passion, you follow that. You know, you gotta go. You gotta try things out. And I went. And I went there, and I was like, this is fucking awesome. He's talking about psychology. He's talking about developing ourselves. But there's no jargon, there's no mumbo jumbo, there's no diagnosis. It's just, let's fucking do this. I was inspired. I was alive. And I had the thought, I want to do that. I stayed in clinical psychology. I wasn't going to drop that because I wasn't like, forget everything. I was like, hey, I want more training. I want to get the best at this. I'm already in this. But I finished, pivoted, didn't just pursue a single track of working in a hospital as a clinical psychologist or whatever. It was like, boom, I'm going to do coaching. So you pivot, you take action, you find you pivot, you take action, you find you pivot. In which direction do you pivot? What makes you feel most alive? The energy. It comes from your heart. You got to take action. And here's another thing. Here's another powerful tip. The thing that you're drawn to is also going to scare you. Your purpose. To forge your purpose and to find your purpose is going to scare you. You're going to have to do things that scare you. You're going to have to do things that are hard, you have to do things that intimidate you. You have to do things that you think that you can't do, that you're worried about failing, that's going to be true for your purpose in your work life, your career, your mission in this world, how you're supposed to contribute and impact people as well as in your love life, the purpose that you have for finding and creating perhaps a family, you're going to have to face your fears. So if you're playing it safe, you're never going to find your purpose. You cannot find a sense of passion and purpose, playing it safe. So there's that thing, you're like, oh, I want to do that. And if a voice comes up and says, who do you think you are? You can't do that. You're probably on the right track. That's your safety police. I talk about that inside my program. Confidence Unleashed. You should get that program. There's a whole section in there on purpose. It's actually what spurred the whole group call in. The Confidence Unleashed Mastermind, or the unstoppable Confidence Mastermind. What triggered this whole episode. The guy was watching Confidence Unleashed because when people are in my Mastermind, they get all my programs as a bonus. And he's like, I was going through that program. It was going great. I was learning a ton, changing, transforming. And then I got to the video that you had about purpose and confidence, and I stalled out because I realized I don't have a sense of purpose. And so we had a super powerful group call. That's what led to this video. And hopefully right now you are starting to see in your life where you can pivot. Because I'm, you know, maybe you'll walk out of this video and be like, oh, my God. I know, there it is. But that's what I'm saying is it doesn't work that way. It could. I mean, shit, if it does, great, that's awesome. But the way it's going to work is you're going to pivot and you're going to be scared as you do it. You're going to have to go into uncertainty. You're going to have to take risks again and again and again. And here's the thing. Our purpose is not like this static thing where you just did it and you're done. And, oh, yeah, that's my purpose. You know what? It's going to go dead. It's going to lose energy. It's a current, it's a river. And you got to Keep following it. It's the same for me, right? Pivoted from clinical psychology and general therapy to coaching, and then coaching on confidence, right? Oh, that's even more in the current. But then even as I do it, it's like, you know what I was doing, and I was like, you know what? I have to change the way that I'm coaching. I need to be more bold and assertive when I'm coaching people. And then you know what? I need to start doing live events because I'm not powerfully serving people as much as I want, and those scared the shit out of me. So you just got to keep finding that current. And if it's scary, you, you know you're in the right direction, you know you're in the right place. So pivot, find. Listen to what you feel in your heart. It's going to bubble out. It's calling to you. And if you want to know how to get down there and out of here, go for a long walk without headphones. Go for a run without headphones. Stop pumping in information. Give yourself 30 minutes, give yourself an hour. Go for a walk on a beautiful fall day or in the summer sunshine and think and feel and listen. And don't believe the story that says you cannot. It's a fucking lie. It's just fear. And you know you're on the right track because your safety police is going to try to stop you. So what is your purpose? What is your pivot? What are you learning from this video? Share below. Let's inspire each other. Let's encourage each other. Share your story. If you have an inspiring story, please share it below. And if you want to share this video with someone, by all means share it with them. And also subscribe. If you want to watch more videos like this. And until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are, the courage to follow your heart and your passion and your purpose, and take risks and fail and keep going and know all along that you're awesome.