YouTube video by Dr. Aziz offering practical, fast-acting strategies to relieve loneliness. The speaker reframes loneliness as a perceivable state of disconnection that can be shifted quickly by (1) connecting with yourself, (2) connecting with something larger (nature or spiritual practice), and (3) proactively reaching out to other people—while also attending to internal energy and mindfulness. The video includes motivational framing, examples, and a call-to-action to learn social skills in follow-up content.
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Are you feeling lonely and want to not feel lonely? You want to fix that feeling and you want to do it fast. You're in the right place. Watch this video because you're going to discover how to free yourself of loneliness from a relationship or a breakup or a divorce or moving or loss of somebody, or even chronic loneliness where you just kind of feel that way all the time. So click down below to subscribe. I have tons of videos about not only loneliness and how to connect and free yourself from social anxiety, but also on confidence in all key areas of your life. Confidence at work, confidence in your social life, confidence in dating and relationships so you can become the most free, bold, authentic version of you. Okay, so in the last video, I talked about social anxiety and loneliness and how the two feed on each other. So you haven't seen that one. You can always watch that too. This is about how to free yourself from loneliness. The first step in this process is to realize that loneliness is a perception. It is a place that you're looking from. And so this is liberating because things don't have to radically change out there for you to feel different. Because if you have an idea like, I'm lonely because my partner, you know, so and so left me, then it's kind of like, well, I can't not feel lonely until that person either takes me back or I get into a new relationship. And so, you know, what are you gonna do? Like, desperately date people? You wanna be my girlfriend? Do you wanna be my boyfriend? I need somebody. I need them now. I need them tonight. Give me a man for the midnight, right? And it's like, well, you know, maybe eventually you want to get into another relationship, but there's going to be some time there. And you also don't want to jump into something all hastily and, you know, desperately because it's not going to be a good fit for you, right? So you need to be saying, okay, I feel lonely, I miss this person, or I'm missing connection with people. And it's possible for me to feel more connected and free from loneliness right now. So that's the first thing. The second thing is to realize that loneliness comes from a sense of disconnection. If you feel connected, you will not feel lonely. And that's also very liberating because connection is kind of a broad, vague human experience. There's many ways to connect. There's a thousand and one ways to connect. Because if you think, well, I'm only lonely because I need to be with this person, well, that's one form of connection. But what about the 990 options that are out there? So I'm lonely. That's a signal I want you to start translating. It's like a message. Come. You know, emotions are kind of confusing or overwhelming or, you know, they operate on almost like a different language. So sometimes we need like a little cheat sheet to say, what does this emotion mean? And remember, when you're feeling lonely, the cheat sheet, the Rosetta stone says, I am feeling disconnected. Great. What does that do? Well, that gives you choices, that gives you clarity of what to do. Well, what do you want to do? I want to feel more connected. And there are several ways to do that. And you might say, well, connected. I guess I should text a friend or something. What if I don't have any friends? What if I don't really feel like talking to people? I feel so lonely. I don't want to be around people and just be like a wet blanket and be like, ugh, I don't want to be here. Right. So yes, we're talking about how to address that. But even before you think about connecting with other people, if you're in a kind of negative, self defeating, self absorbed, hurting emotional state, you're not really that available to connect with others, right? If you could think of energy. Because connection with other people is just about an energy exchange, right? You know, you hang out with someone you like and you're like, I felt great. I like that person. You hang out with someone that drains you and you're like, gotta get away from that person. Right? It's just an energy exchange. And when you're in this state of like, ugh, I'm so lonely, it's terrible. Oh, God. Then when I go to connect with you, I'm in that state. I'm kind of like, hey, give me some of your energy. I'm low. I need to fuel up. Come on. Right? So there's a little bit of a psychic or energetic pulling from others, and that's okay. You're not a bad person. But in relationships, it's a give and a take. And if you have a really strong relationship with someone, you know, you can kind of lean on them and pull on them for a bit. But generally we want to be in a place where we do that a little bit. But we're also, like, amplifying our own energy, giving it to other people. We're abundant. And when you do that, you become attractive, you become magnetic, you become popular, become sought after. And that's not just true in dating. That's True in social life. Friendships, business connections, clients, opportunities. So before you go out there and say, I need to connect with people, I'm desperate. I need someone. Now, be my friend, think about connection, and think about, what else can I connect with that's going to energize me? The first simple place to start might be yourself. And that might sound kind of cheesy or something, but it makes all the difference. How can I connect with myself? What helps me feel more connected with myself? You know, because so often you're hurting with loneliness and you're actually disconnecting from yourself. What do you do? You pull your phone out, you pull a device out, you go online. You're just like, I gotta get away from me. You gotta connect with me. Connect with yourself. How do you do that? Well, some people like meditation. Maybe you do something that's like, soothing or fun or enjoyable art. Maybe it's working out for you. Maybe it's going for a run, maybe it's going to the gym. These are ways of connecting with yourself, taking care of yourself. And also, there's a way to emotionally connect with yourself. I do this with clients all the time. I'm a mastermind. I train people on how to do this. Because this, the mastermind, is all about confidence. But if you don't have these foundations, you can't have confidence. And so what I'll do is I'll help people learn how to connect with themselves. Sometimes it's as simple as slowing down, breathing and paying attention to the loneliness. There's like a part inside of you that's like, ah, it hurts. Ow. And instead of trying to get away from that, you're like, yeah, yeah, I feel that. I see that. I experience that. Like, I'm with you. That's painful. And you witness it and you're with it. This falls into the category of mindfulness or acceptance, right? But you're being with it, and that doing that for, like, four or five minutes can be amazing at soothing yourself. So now you're connecting with you. The next thing that you can think about connecting with is something bigger than you. Before we talk about connecting other people, still connecting to something bigger than you. And this depends upon your own pathways to divine. You know, maybe you're religious, so you connect with God or Allah or whatever your pathway is, or Jesus, you know, so you pray or you read something from a text that's meaningful to you. If you're not as religious, you're more kind of like, I don't know, then go outside. Nature is like One of the phrases I'd like to say is God is in the mountains, right? I mean, nature is universally connecting for everybody. Even if you're a atheist or a cynic or who, it doesn't matter what your spiritual beliefs are, but you get out in nature, you go for a little 30 minute walk, you look at trees, you breathe, you look at the sky. This isn't nature. With like your headphones on and you're like, I can't, don't make me look or think about anything. Just like breathe and feel. Be in silence for 20, 30 minutes or more. Move. Connect with nature. You don't have to force it, just be in it. The connection happens. There's an energy exchange between you and nature and you will start to feel more connected. Okay? Then we get to connecting with other people, right? And notice, by the way, if you're trying to connect with yourself, you're trying to connect with nature and all you do is replay this thought in your mind. I'm so alone, it's so terrible. I'm so lonely, it's so awful. And if you're just replaying that, you're not really a attempting to connect. You're reinforcing the illusion that you're disconnected, right? It's like someone who has like friends who are like, hey, you want to hang out? You're like, no, I'm so alone, right? So don't do that with yourself. Don't do that out in nature. And then the third step is to go interact with other people and you need to go on offense here. Loneliness can be especially if so you don't have that many people to interact with or they're not your people or whatever that is like a long term symptom of a pattern you've been running for quite some time, which might be in a pattern of being passive in your social life. You're waiting for other people to reach out to you. You don't really put yourself out there. If you do, you don't do it very skillfully. And I'll talk in the next video about how to put yourself out there more skillfully, socially, make more friends, become more popular. And this, you can do this whether you think you have social anxiety or you have a history of social anxiety, you can shift all of this. In fact, if you want a specific step by step in depth course on how to do that, I have that. It's called Social Mastery. It's part of Confidence University. You can check that out if you click down in the description below or go to TheConfidenceUniversity.com you can find all about Social mastery and the other courses, but those are completely life changing. So to recap, when you're feeling lonely, the most important thing to do is to realize a I can shift this and I can shift it quickly. B Loneliness is a sign, it's a message telling me I need connection. And then C is to connect first with yourself, then with something bigger, and then reach out to other people. And I'll give you more specific tips on that in a future video so this one doesn't go for five hours. All right, so share down below in the comments what you're finding most valuable and until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're not alone, that you can connect and you will get through this. You're awesome.
