Dr. Aziz explains that confidence comes from repeated, deliberate exposure to what scares you. Most people fail because they don't practice enough or they're too harsh on themselves. Whether it's public speaking or approaching someone, the method is the same: do it many times until it stops feeling dangerous.
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Do you want a massive shift in your confidence in your life so you can apply it in your business, in your work and your finances, in your relationships? If the answer to that is yes, then you're going to want to watch this entire episode to the end, because we're going to cover one secret that I've seen hundreds of people that I've talked to missing when it comes to building this confidence. They think they get it, but there's this huge, gaping disconnect in their mind that stops them from really getting that. Because believe me, it is absolutely possible. And if you want to radically increase your confidence, I'm going to teach you how in this episode with this big breakthrough. So check this out now. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Aziz, and this is the show for you if you want to maximize your confidence, if you want to ten times your confidence in every area of life that matters to you. In your business, in your career and your finances, in your dating and relationships, in your social life, every area. And this episode is going to be a huge breakthrough for you if you really listen to it and you apply it in your life. Because this is one of the biggest components to developing our confidence. And if you do this, your confidence will grow. It's scientifically proven, and here's what it is. Step outside your comfort zone. Now, hear me out. That's not new information. You probably, if you studied confidence at all, you'd be like, I know, right? It's like, get outside your comfort zone. That means you have to do the thing that scares you. You have to get out there step by step and consistently do it. Now, I know this isn't new information, but the big breakthrough is coming in a second. Let me give an example. Let's say you want to get better at public speaking. It could improve your career. You could speak up more in meetings. You could get promoted because you're, you know, you're a project manager. You could become a senior project manager or a mega manager or whatever. Or you have your own business and you need to get out there and you need to promote it. You need to speak to people, you need to do public speaking. Whatever it is, you need to develop that ability for work. And it might show up in a great way in your personal life, too. Like, you can give a toast at your best friend's wedding and not clam up out of fear, right? So public speaking, amazing skill, brings a lot to your life. And let's say you're scared to do it right now. And you're not very good at it because you've avoided it because you're scared. So the way to develop that is going to be to public speak. You have to do the thing that you're scared of in order to get better at it. And replace public speaking with sales conversations or team leading or going over and talking to an attractive woman. Whatever the thing you're working on most right now, you have to go into it in order to grow. And this is a thing that a lot of people kind of. Well, first of all, they don't get or they don't want to believe or like, isn't there another way around it? And it's like, dude, no, you got to go into it now, of course, this is what I do with people all day. And so there's these things that come up that I see that block people that just make a disconnect that's stops them from using this in their life. And by the way, this is scientifically proven. It's called exposure. Gradual exposure in clinical psychology. It's been shown to work for a million different things. So this works. But here's the thing, here's why it doesn't work, is there's two ways that you can sabotage this from working. One is, this is the most common one, is I was talking with a client just the other day, and he was getting out there and he was working on his general confidence. Eventually he wants to talk to women. He also has his own business, so he's kind of doing confidence in a lot of areas. But one of the exercises was a really basic one. But it's just getting more comfortable with people. It's walking down the street, friendly greetings, saying hi to people. You probably heard me talk about it. If not it's previous episodes or whatever, but. So he's walking down the street and saying hi to people, getting more comfortable with getting out in the world. And he tells me about it, and I was like, great, How'd that go? And he's like, well, I tried that and I didn't feel any more confident. It didn't really work. And I was like, oh, okay. Well, let's explore what happened. So how many times did you do it? How many people did you say hi to? And he's like, well, I did it. And I probably said hi to maybe three or four. I was like, okay. And then what about the next day? He's like, there is no next. That's what I did. Three to four. I was like, oh, well, that could Be a problem, because think about it like this. Let's say you said, I want to get really strong, I want to get really buff. I want to get really cut and swole. And then you say, okay, great, so I'm going to go do three curls once this coming week, and then I'm going to get real strong. It doesn't even make sense. Like, our brain doesn't compute when it comes to that, because we know, like, dude, if you want to get really strong, let's just say the bicep, because that's the muscle I was doing there. You know, how many do you have to do? And my buddy's a personal trainer, so I'd probably have to ask him in specifics. But I don't know, maybe three times a week. Then each time, you got to do several different exercises for it. So we're talking maybe you're doing 33 reps of 10 three times a week. That's 90 curls in a week. And give or take, maybe you're changing what you're doing, but you're doing a lot, right? That's how you're gonna get strong. If you did three curls with a kind of lightweight, what's gonna happen? Nothing. Nothing's gonna happen. And it's the exact same way with our social confidence. And so, you know, I've heard this again and again. Like, I spoke up sometimes and didn't do anything. And what happens is we, like, dabble in this really feeble way, and, like, okay, I'm gonna do it. I did it once or twice. It didn't work. Bleh. Right? And what's happening there is just the old BS stories of layers and layers of protection, right? The excuses, oh, I can't do it. Then the stories, oh, I'm not good enough. It's not gonna work out. Then the confronting of the fear. And then we do that once or twice, and it's so uncomfortable, and we don't really want to do it, so we find an excuse to stop. We say, it didn't work. The reality is, if you get out there and do it again and again, it will work, and it will transform your life. And when I figured this stuff out, I was passionate. So I'd walk down the street and I'd say hi to 50 people. And then when I wanted to talk to women, I would go out and say, I'm going to talk to three women today. I'm going to walk around until I find three women. And I do that again and again, day after day. And that's the way to do it. Now there's public speaking. It's like, great. I'm going to find every opportunity to speak. I'm going to do it hundreds of times. So you get in there and you find it. And here's the thing, people sometimes say like, oh my God, that sounds like so much work. And it's like, I remember I was talking to a guy and he's like, well, I want to do just enough to basically get out of feeling uncomfortable. But I don't really want to do a lot to really grow my confidence. I just want to get a little better. And it's like, well, you still got to go outside your comfort zone. And also I'm like, why? Why do you only want to get front miserable to okay? But why not go from miserable to okay to like, life is great? I mean, that's not why we're here. So you got to find that desire in yourself to grow. And I'm going to have a future episode about that, about how to access a motivation that pulls you forward as opposed to just trying to get out of feeling crappy. But the thing is, you've got to apply this. You got to do it. And the more you do it, then the better it gets, the more fun it gets, the better you get at it. So just really think about the workout analogy, is that the more you work out, the better, the stronger you're going to get. And it's the same thing with social confidence, with business confidence, with sales conversations. The more you do, the more you put yourself in that situation, the better you're going to get. And I mentioned earlier, I'm just going to touch on this at the very end of this episode here, that there's one other thing that can sabotage that. Even if you're going out and doing it a lot, and that is your inner coach. So if you're doing it, but you're motivating yourself like this, oh, come on. Why get out there, you wimp. You have to come on and you're kind of, you know, beating yourself into it and then you do it and you're evaluating yourself. Well, that wasn't very good. Someone else who could do better. Yes, someone else would have closed that sale. Someone else would have got that girl. Oh, man, you suck. And that's going non stop. Then it's really going to hinder your progress. And if you want to learn how to neutralize that shit, then good, because that's what it's going to take to really change your life. And a really powerful way to do that is Confidence Unleashed. Brand new version of the program just came out. It is a life changing is some of the feedback that we've gotten. Incredibly powerful. It's going to help you rework your entire mind, align yourself for maximum success. So check out that program Confidence Unleashed to help you do that. But when you do that you consistently break through your fear and do the thing you'll get the confidence. And that's the secret to doubling your confidence, tripling Your confidence or 10x10 times your confidence in the areas of your life that matter to you. So go forth and do that. Leave your comments below. Let me know how it goes what you're able to do. Share here. This is awesome. We can support each other the power of the Internet and check out other episodes to keep going, keep learning, keep growing your confidence and until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.
